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View Full Version : Got hammered and trying to get lucky

ElGallo
04-03-2011, 04:47 AM
So I take the wife out shopping. We buy some fragrances from LUSH, we get some bath bombs and other gay shit, I take her for Sushi and order the Sake. They bring me a whole jar of warm sake. Well being a Mexican man I can't let liquor go to waste. I drink the whole jar and drive home. I proceed to drink Cranberry coconut Malibu and Vodka. I've had 4 of those but wife thinks i'm just drinking cranberry juice. She is in the shower, im hella drunk and im hoping I can be smooth enough to make another baby tonight.... wish me luck and good aim......
Steerpike
04-03-2011, 10:00 AM
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

AMIRITE?
Been
04-03-2011, 10:04 AM
i get whiskey dick sometimes

sometimes without drinking
anatine
04-03-2011, 10:26 AM
i get whiskey dick sometimes

sometimes without drinking

http://i.imgur.com/U4A1q.gif
DankBlaniels
04-03-2011, 12:05 PM
YOU CANT BE DRUNK YOU DIDNT USE CAPS LOCK
ElGallo
04-03-2011, 04:33 PM
:fail Did my best gentleman, couldn't perform up to the standards that were needed for baby making...
Been
04-03-2011, 06:36 PM
hof
DRK Star
04-03-2011, 07:08 PM
Not too proud to admit that I have used LUSH products myself. Angels on Bare Skin or something like that. Cleanses my face and leaves a soothing, yet refreshing feel, which invigorates me before my evening slumber.
DRK Star
04-03-2011, 07:09 PM
^
That was my 100th post, and I wanted it to be speshul
GAMBLE-BOT
04-06-2011, 06:49 PM
weird how i truly thought i was posting terrible and realized it was beenstaring
Harley
04-06-2011, 11:13 PM
I was once with a vagina so perfect it smelt like a new born baby
SkyNigger
04-06-2011, 11:26 PM
:fail Did my best gentleman, couldn't perform up to the standards that were needed for baby making...

I got a stinking feeling that this is retarded but...huh?? Baby making needs certain things aside from the obvious?

I was once with a vagina so perfect it smelt like a new born baby

I remember a time - a glorious time - when the drugs were so good, I would eat out all sorts of shit. Everything. All kinds of shit. Even hooker shit, give me some. Their asses give me some.

seriously, hooker asses. Loved me that shit.

I've had sex in the last few months, there's a little 19 yr old who's so cute it's probably indecent. But if I have to have a shower...or some other urgent stuff is happening, like Facebook...I can't even get psyched up to lie there. Probably wouldn't smash hooker asses again, looking back on things now, but then again, if it came as a package deal...
Hillbilly Jim
04-07-2011, 07:15 AM
seriously, hooker asses. Loved me that shit.
http://i.imgur.com/dg10c.jpg