Reasons why one should watch Swamp People.

[nextlevelshit]

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2012/07/10/teen-uses-swamp-men-move-to-save-self-from-alligator/

Teen uses 'Swamp Men' move to save self from alligator

A Florida teenager lost part of his arm in an alligator attack on Monday, but the boy's family says the outcome could have been worse if the 17-year-old hadn't been a fan of the National Geographic show "Swamp Men."

Kaleb "Fred" Langdale was swimming with friends in in the Caloosahatchee River in Moore Haven in southwest Florida when an 11-foot alligator attacked, according to a report from CNN affliate WINK-TV.

"As soon as he'd seen Fred, the gator was coming after him. On top of the water, as fast as he could pedal, his tail was wagging back and forth, he was coming," Langdale's friend Gary Beck told WINK.

That's when the teen's TV gator knowledge kicked in, his sister, Rebecca Langdale, said in an interview with the Fort Myers News Press.

Rebecca, who visited her brother in the hospital, said he told her that as the alligator approached him he grabbed the skin under the animal's mouth to try to prevent it from biting him.

After preventing the initial attack, Fred tried to swim away from the gator, Rebecca Langdale said.

"When he turned to swim, it grabbed his arm," she said. "And he knew once it grabbed his arm, he was going to lose it."

"So he put both his feet on the alligator's head and pushed and pretty much took his own arm off before the alligator could," Rebecca said.

Langdale's aunt, LaDawn Hayes, said Fred learned the move from watching "Swamp Men," according to the News-Press.

"He knows if he offers (the gator) his arm, he won't take his torso. He was smart, he took the risk," another of Fred's friends, Matthew Baker, told WINK.

Beck told CNN affiliate WBBH that after freeing himself from the gator, Langdale called for help.

"He was waving saying, 'Call the paramedics! My arm is gone!'" WBBH quoted Beck as saying.

The gator was later caught and killed by trappers from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. The boy's arm was recovered, according to reports, but the doctors were unable to reattach it.

Glades County Sheriff Stuart Whiddon told WINK that gator attacks are rare in the area, but fish and wildlife officials said this is an active time of year for the reptiles.

"It's just after mating season, eggs are already laid, but the gators are still very active," WINK quoted Jeff Ardelean as saying. "Any type of commotion on the water is potential food in their eyes."

One would think they'd teach you to not swim around alligators on the show but at least the boy learned through some maneuvering and quick thinking he was able to merely sacrifice an arm.

[rum dick]

Always thought the game plan (besides nlws' sage advice re not swimming in gator infested water) was try to get on top of the gator and gouge its eyes out/stick your thumb up its butt or get a hold of its mouth when its closed because gators have almost zero ability to open their mouths when even minimal pressure is applied. Either way zero chance I'm just giving up on an arm.

[rum dick]

More importantly how the heck does the name kaleb become the nickname fred

[anatine]

Id just pull some lofty strings and get scooter to ban it.

[Nikki]

More importantly how the heck does the name kaleb become the nickname fred

The Nickname may be a embarrassment

y75ERqdjmHE

[GAMBLE-BOT]

I'm pleased that annoying kid on the internet lost his arm. I hope he loses his head next.

[Steerpike]

gamble bringing the satire

[DankBlaniels]

kids so satirical

[Bobby Wong]

I'm pleased that annoying kid on the internet lost his arm

your confused glambo, ape didn't lose his arm to a gator but he might lose one to krokodil if he by the end of the year

ezPIB25ABNk

[nextlevelshit]

I've had habits of the finest pharmaceutical and illicit dope ever made and I can't imagine continuing to use if your fucking face is falling off. ROFL.

I guess your life must really really suck. Jesus Fucked Christ.

[Bobby Wong]

i've seen pics of you bro, you might want to rethink that policy

[rum dick]

Who is losing their face? And rofl bob

[rum dick]

I've had habits of the finest pharmaceutical and illicit dope ever made and I can't imagine continuing to use if your fucking face is falling off. ROFL.

I guess your life must really really suck. Jesus Fucked Christ.

Besides the identity of the melting face guy, I also wanna hear more about these awesome drugs.

[nextlevelshit]

Besides the identity of the melting face guy, I also wanna hear more about these awesome drugs.

such discussions are meant to only be had with other dopefiends and ex-dopefriends and not your average oh i love my oxycontin kids n trolls. Really though, I can't imagine this krokadil being anywhere near as good as it gets. These people really are on a self-loathing dead-end trip of epic proportions. I can't imagine how much life must suck that you continue to use dope that makes your skin rot. Incredible. I've known girls who had been a 8-9 have skin grafts from doing speedballs, but at least thats dealing with 2 beasts and not some low rent narcotic.

[Bobby Wong]

hoser krokking so hard right now

[nextlevelshit]

hoser krokking so hard right now

I got enough sitting around if you want to head on over.

[Bobby Wong]

A new kind of krokodil. Drano and batteries and plastic bottles which explode?

WAKE UP PEOPLE. FUCKING...! The sickness has gotten so sick, they've lied so many times, the joke is becoming farcical.

These new chemists and their new krokodil, when their Drano-battery krokodil kills people or gives them health problems, because they CALL it krokodil, and the media CALLS it krokodil, and the government CALLS it krokodil...it simply becomes krokodil - doesn't have the requisite ingredients, but that's no problem? Cooked instead with Drano and battery fluid, krokodil yo.

Still think it's a good idea to remove the SAFE ephedrine from access to these kinds of dealers? Still think any government official who removes the SAFE ephedrine out of reach of these knobs can be innocent of impossible ignorance?

Hey man it's krokodil, they sold it as krokodil. What's the problem? No problem. Call the Nobel prize committee, we have a new magical way of producing complex chemicals. Those fucked up twat crims have to get up on the stage in Oslo. When they do, it's krokodil. Until then, the government and media are committing crime on a scale...

Oh, if anyone gets hurt by Drano krokodil? Look for their statistics, and their fucking pictures, with a Google search like dangers of krokodil.



This is the government. Killing people. Claiming it's the fault of krokodil. You think this pitiful wretch was taking pharmaceutical-grade krokodil? It's a fucking outrage, this classic play straight from the propaganda handbook. Tell a fucking lie 1000 times it becomes truth. What if you tell the lie 100000000 times? It's TRUTH, to the point where even the fucking junkies are clueless that they are the victims of government corruption and that their lives were ruined for profit, and control, needlessly....so fucking needlessly.

And this is where the bile spits up in reflux - then they pick up the poor wretches they've created out of good, and decent citizens, MANUFACTURED addicts who wouldn't be addicted but were required to be for the whole 3-ring circus of filth and corruption to come alive...they then pick up the victims of their evil, and they throw them in prison and mental torture pits and....ugh. Remaining calm is not an appropriate reaction to the slaughter and molestation underway, not facilitated, but rather expressly designed and intended and executed, by our servers and our protectors.

[nextlevelshit]

A new kind of krokodil. Drano and batteries and plastic bottles which explode?

WAKE UP PEOPLE. FUCKING...! The sickness has gotten so sick, they've lied so many times, the joke is becoming farcical.

These new chemists and their new krokodil, when their Drano-battery krokodil kills people or gives them health problems, because they CALL it krokodil, and the media CALLS it krokodil, and the government CALLS it krokodil...it simply becomes krokodil - doesn't have the requisite ingredients, but that's no problem? Cooked instead with Drano and battery fluid, krokodil yo.

Still think it's a good idea to remove the SAFE ephedrine from access to these kinds of dealers? Still think any government official who removes the SAFE ephedrine out of reach of these knobs can be innocent of impossible ignorance?

Hey man it's krokodil, they sold it as krokodil. What's the problem? No problem. Call the Nobel prize committee, we have a new magical way of producing complex chemicals. Those fucked up twat crims have to get up on the stage in Oslo. When they do, it's krokodil. Until then, the government and media are committing crime on a scale...

Oh, if anyone gets hurt by Drano krokodil? Look for their statistics, and their fucking pictures, with a Google search like dangers of krokodil.



This is the government. Killing people. Claiming it's the fault of krokodil. You think this pitiful wretch was taking pharmaceutical-grade krokodil? It's a fucking outrage, this classic play straight from the propaganda handbook. Tell a fucking lie 1000 times it becomes truth. What if you tell the lie 100000000 times? It's TRUTH, to the point where even the fucking junkies are clueless that they are the victims of government corruption and that their lives were ruined for profit, and control, needlessly....so fucking needlessly.

And this is where the bile spits up in reflux - then they pick up the poor wretches they've created out of good, and decent citizens, MANUFACTURED addicts who wouldn't be addicted but were required to be for the whole 3-ring circus of filth and corruption to come alive...they then pick up the victims of their evil, and they throw them in prison and mental torture pits and....ugh. Remaining calm is not an appropriate reaction to the slaughter and molestation underway, not facilitated, but rather expressly designed and intended and executed, by our servers and our protectors.

the krokadil i got was cooked up by a grade a type dude.. you'll be fine..head on over bobby

[nextlevelshit]

They're in a lot of pain and they are oblivious to the concept of "alternatives"..

Everyone knows the alternative of quitting is a possibility. All the krokadil pictures I see are horrendous. It is almost like they wish to die. I've done many a drug. I was ok with the thought remote random death by pushing intake, because you'll just fade out in oblivion. Thats part of it. However anything that'd fuck me up after I quit is something I've never been comfortable with. (Cocaine addicts die of heart problems young..) These people are so beyond that it is amazing. Thank god I live in America. Sucks they can't just get heroin due to interdiction efforts.

It is pretty fucked, I read how the US clamping down/reformulating painkillers has made heroin grow in popularity.
In Russia,they get rid of heroin and this krokadil stuff grows in popularity.

What a wonderful world.

[Statutory Ape]

Id just pull some lofty strings and get scooter to ban it.

LOFTY STRINGS YA'LL

[Statutory Ape]

the krokadil i got was cooked up by a grade a type dude.. you'll be fine..head on over bobby

That you couldn't guess his motive just by reading his post and asking yourself what the hell he's talking about (or you rather- since when is ephedrine or battery acid in any preparations for an opiate? You do realize krokodil is deso-morphine, right?)

I feel like we have had this discussion before.

Yeah, we have. Nothing wrong with krokodil, it's a cheap and decent alternative to heroin (chemically anyway) it's just that certain types make for unreliable chemists. You do not want the following to be descriptive of the person responsible for making the shit you must pump into your veins with alarming regularity:
Also a junkie
Always in a hurry
Can never find what the fuck he's looking for at the hardware store
Can't read the directions on google because the internet went out, either because it's what commie bastards deserve or the fucker is a junkie

I'm not krokodil expert but my reading lead me to believe this product can be made quite well, safe and effective (for a narcotic anyway) and people should NOT be turning into human genetic experiments to create the ultimate Hot Wings for KFC http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web03/2011/11/18/17/enhanced-buzz-24051-1321655978-6.jpg

Hoser c'mon bro...

[nextlevelshit]

Hoser c'mon bro...


Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I don't think Bobby lives anywhere near me.

[nextlevelshit]

Give me directions on how to make up quality krokadil mike and maybe we'll have something to talk about.

[Bobby Wong]

if you mix bath salts and krokodil into some sort of appalling third world speedball do you end up eating your own face?

[Statutory Ape]

I would be 100% down to try the combo realtalk

Not injecting anything though, mainlining is a no-no and I will never break it.