FAO SKY NIGGER..

[MistaCobalina]

Don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger..



Cobson, if ever the time comes I am actually desired back at skatz, I will only negotiate with Scuter at this point and no one else. He has my gmail and if he wants me back, I am open to discuss the matter further. I have a long standing policy against lurking and not posting, I will not be checking the poker forums after tonight.

Wish you the best, gary as well, and I am out.

Mike

[Bobby Wong]

Gosh, it sounds like he really means it. Maybe we went too far this time.

[MistaCobalina]

I know you can get ahold of him on twitter maybe too?

https://twitter.com/408_Mike

[cup]

Apparently I am Ian. I had no idea.

[Been]

408 managed to swear fealty to 3 different forums this week and quit them all in 1 day

[SkyNigger]

I know you can get ahold of him on twitter maybe too?

https://twitter.com/408_Mike

He's been spamming me on Twitter in his smooth talking sociopathic style.

http://f.cl.ly/items/3U3G2K121v3N3w003q0p/Screen%20Shot%202012-08-05%20at%201.23.23%20PM.png

[MistaCobalina]

Grapes gonna grape, what can you do?

[MistaCobalina]

Oh gosh, I should probably confess this, before you find out another way and tilt delete the forum. That's not the real 408mike account. I made that account last night for some trolling lulz.


the really 408 account is www.twitter.com/sweetbabygrapes Feel free to compare and contrast to see how well you think I captured mike's voice.

[Bobby Wong]

i bet you when he's around the blacks, scooter pretends he's of dutch descent and his name is schoenecker

[MistaCobalina]

Also, scooter, Mike has expressed to me his disgust for Dunhills, and offers you, as a token of friendship, some of the superior Nat Sherman Cigarettes ( which I wholly endorse, worlds best cigarette, AINEC)

408mike: and btw, if scooter asks my opinion, I literally took a drag off a dunhill and spit it on the ground
408mike: I forced myself to give dunhills a shot, and literally wanted to vomit at the halfway point
408mike: that's how disgusting they are
408mike: also, as a favor to him if he might be so kind as to reconsider my friendship, let the past lie and all that, I would be willing to mail him a few packs of nat's to wherever
Me: I don't think they are that bad, but it's been a long time since i smoked them
408mike: I am adept at dodging customs in a variety of countries, you can guess why
Me: rofl
408mike: dude, they taste like camel wides
408mike: but with slightly nicer tobacco
Me: yeah, they are no comparison to nat shermans
408mike: i literally started walking right back to the smoke shop when i got the first drag of the dunhill in
408mike: my cost over here is a shade under 8 bucks per box of shermans and the place I get them outsells nats>dunhills 7to1
408mike: and there is a post office in the parking lot, its at santa teresa nad blossom hill
Me: yeah, nats are great
408mike: tell scoots, I miss him and it would be my pleasure to get some legit smokes out to him

[DankBlaniels]

rofl if mike misses him that much then why doesnt he just post here. nobody has given mike more abuse than scooter has so people saying mean things to him cant be the reason. but who knows what is going on in mikes fantasy land.

[cup]

I thought you were joining the Navy?

[onestep]

i bet you when he's around the blacks, scooter pretends he's of dutch descent and his name is schoenecker

Explain?

[Bobby Wong]

because it sounds sort of like a foreigner pronouncing sky nigger

[gay sex]

dont be such a bloody kaffir onestep

[onestep]

dont be such a bloody kaffir onestep

I know what THAT means...lol

[Statutory Ape]

I am making this post as acknowledgement that I have dug my own grave here, essentially.

I keep going manic for some reason, has nothing to do with drugs. Honestly I am not sure what's triggering my breakdowns but I am about as fed up with my actions as all of you are (well, less so I am sure)

I have said some spiteful, childish and disrespectful things to a good many of you and, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.

Though I do not deserve it, I am seeking forgiveness. If not now, at some point in the future would be fantastic.

At the present time I am essentially killing myself to stay busy and keep working on ideas to make myself financially solvent. At the same time, I am desperately trying to figure out how I can repair my shit reputation.

At one time my word meant something and I was not relegated to being the joke no one wants anything to do with. It's killing me and quite frankly, I realized last night almost everything I say that's out of line, crazy, insane etc is, on a much deeper level, me attempting to make myself seem relevant. A power grab, if I have my psychology right.

It's shameful to say the least.

Tine I said some out of line things about you and the cold hard truth is that, manic or not, disorders or not, whatever, there is no excuse for my actions.

Rum same to you, I called you mini hitler and some kind of elitist when I have proof of neither. In fact, you banning me a week ago set me off and despite all the weird hostility, I have benefited tremendously. Apologies and a solemn thank you from team SBG.

Tapper I meant certain things in the PM I sent you, some of which was supposed to be in your interest to protect you (lol? me protecting you, THAT'S comedy) but my motive was, of course, to drag you and gary with me to another forum. While manic I just lose grasp of reality 100%. Not sure how you feel about me, what I said, and possibly you don't give a shit, but really truly there was good motive deep down. It was just dramatically overshadowed by my standard sociopathic manipulation bullshit that comes from left field. I don't know what to say other than thank you for being in my corner and throwing me some love respect and solid advice.

Cobson, I was under the impression you tried to screw Gary over somehow, but once again I for whatever reason decided to poke my nose in other people's business when I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF ANYTHING as far as facts go, nor did any of it have anything to do with me. And yet, I got angry and hurt and suddenly I was flipping out over the whole thing...that didn't even involve me in the first place. An apology would be moot, I am pretty sure you don't give a shit anymore about anything I do or so or my well being, but man to man i disrespected you and I am sorry.

Gary I realized this morning you also do not want me here, I am pretty sure I made you look bad and kept keeping me around despite the majority wanting me gone. Thanks for being in my corner and I wish you the best.

Scooter, I pretty much knew a month or two ago you'd put me in the rear view and I tried just about everything I could think of to make some kind of positive dent in our relationship but it's all been a waste of time. I fucked up and know the black and white truth is that I do not deserve your friendship, your time, nor your anything. I would like to let you know I am doing much better (depending on the time of day or something? I can't figure this mania out for the life of me, but it ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS happens at night, if that makes sense. during the day I am cool as a clam, as the day drags on I lose touch and get weirder and weirder. Wish I could solve that, for the time being my workaround has been to stay off the internet at night and it seems to be working pretty ok. Even if I am not online, i sit around paranoid and dwelling on various things, it's never ending...) I wish you the best.

All in all....I really shit the bed here. I miss you all and remember some good times fondly but there's something about this forum that just does not jive with my mental short comings. It's really depressing, mostly because I was really attracted to the idea that I might stand shoulder to shoulder with the collective geniuses here but either I am not cut of the right stuff or the timing was bad, for me. I am 50/50 as to which it is, probably both. I just burned inside for acceptance, trust, respect, to have intelligent funny people acknowledge me as an equal instead of the garbage short bus mike that everyone came to know me as.

Funny thing is, I should never have strove to become accepted, as if I needed to accomplish it or solve the puzzle of my non-acceptance, I should have just performed adequately and not worried so much. Consistency would have gone a long way...

Hate being me right now...

Grapes

[MistaCobalina]

I
Funny thing is, I should never have strove to become accepted, as if I needed to accomplish it or solve the puzzle of my non-acceptance, I should have just performed adequately and not worried so much. Consistency would have gone a long way...


That was pretty much my message to you the whole time when you were pming me about the issue. As the great Dr Franknenfurter once said, don't dream it, be it.


I don't know if you're on a mood stabilizer, but you should consider it.

[Statutory Ape]

Also Scooter I wanted to offer something useful to you, I have been experimenting with using Ephedrine HCL to treat my ADHD and it's been working rather well. I am taking 1 primatene tablet (supplying 12.5mgs ephedrine hcl and some expectorant, I pay no attention to the expectorant tho) every 4-5 hours and it's working rather well.

I have tried this in the past and it's never worked as it tends to trigger relapses. This go round however, things are going smooth. I am not getting high nor any euphoria from the ephedrine, not getting all amped up and such, and I am guessing (at best) my abstinence from yayo (been close to a year now, will be in october) and/or my abstinence from alcohol (couldn't say exactly where I am at with that, but certainly had fewer than 5 drinks the last 2 months or so) or possibly having regained my sense of Self i seem to be taking things much more in stride, neither getting super high nor super low.

Still have this pesky losing tough with reality stuff to work out, but I am doing worlds better thanks largely to you. I hope my advice can help get you on the right track as well. The substance you are self medicating with can be dangerous, even for a super genius like you, and I would much rather see you taking some ephedrine and putting some work into making the best of it as opposed to the alternative.

Do it for yourSelf, what kind of role model can you hope to be for your siblings high and strung out all the time? Getting off that stuff will do worlds for your mind body and social perception, and that's just the start of it.

You may not want to face the truth but meth does cause a LOT of irreparable brain damage, it's literally killing you. As a person who cares about you I would like to ask you to give the ephedrine a go for at least 30 days. Just a month, one single month, what have you got to lose? You lose nothing but potentially could gain a LOT, money for starters (ephedrine is dirt cheap).

If you want to self dose the half life of ephedrine hcl is about 6 hours, 2-3 for sulfate if that's all you can get. You want to dose on the half life always, I take my doses slightly more frequently because I've been taking ephedrine 15 damn years now and have built a tolerance to it.

If you can source out ephedrine hcl on the cheap without the expectorant that would be better but I wouldn't worry about it either way.

If you want to dose similar to what you have been using, I would surmise something on the order of 25-40mgs ephedrine hcl every 3-5 hours would be more than adequate. Also it's usually supposed to be taken on an empty stomach but some people prefer food. Yes, food, that crazy stuff you have been avoiding for so long.

On ephedrine, you can actually eat, which would be a real blessing for you. Your medication combined with malnutrition, smoking cigarettes, not sleeping....I mean, you are essentially destroying yourself at the fastest rate humanly possible, please realize this. There is no if's and's or but's, you are putting yourself into an early grave and doubling or tripling the rate at which you age. The effects are subtle when young, but fast forward 15-20 years and you will see the damage you're doing now and will likely regret it.

Never too late to change John, in fact Today would be a great day to get off your medicine and onto something more agreeable to human life. While you're pointing in the right direction, it's also a great time to make some changes in favor of being healthier and living longer.

I'm here to answer any and all questions you might have about health, fitness, gaining muscle, losing fat, vitamins minerals and all that jazz.

Regards

[Statutory Ape]

That was pretty much my message to you the whole time when you were pming me about the issue. As the great Dr Franknenfurter once said, don't dream it, be it.


I don't know if you're on a mood stabilizer, but you should consider it.

Thank you for the advice and I am considering it.

Have you ever heard of what I am describing, becoming manic at night almost every day? Is this some kind of hormone thing? It's been going on for some time, years at least. Doesn't seem affected by much of anything, drinking drugs sleeping or lack of it, you name it, my upstairs just cycles over and over again to normal in the am, weird by midday, sometimes completely manic and out of touch with reality by evening. It just needs a catalyst, something anything to set me off and I am GONE.

It's depressing, to say the very least. BPD does not mention anything about this, not how I am suffering it anyway.

In the short term, can vaughn rig something to ban me every day after like 5pm till say 7am? As odd a request as that is, I would have saved a good dozen meltdowns by now if it had been in place all this time. Life is a learning process...

[Statutory Ape]

I thought you were joining the Navy?

$1800 away unfortunately. The probation dept denied my petition for record clearance because I owe some fines totaling the above amount. The judge told me her hands are tied, pay the dmv and come back, there are no workarounds I am aware of. I already petitioned Traffic Court to have the fines waived or reduced to no avail.

Essentially I owned a 1991 integra, blue, and some lady smashed into my parked car the night before my Anatomy final. Car totaled, farmers dragged their asses with the dmv and refused to send them proof of correction so I could handle the tickets (all three tickets are for expired tags, I had financial problems and then, when I actually had money, I no longer had the car, farmer's took possession)

I even tried submitting all the documentation I have showing farmers bought the vehicle from me as proof of correction and the judge cared not.

As much as it sounds like I am, I am NOT complaining right now. The adult probation dept actually denied my petition and strangely moved to have it taken off calendar. They went so far as to not send the judge docs stating I had served them (I did in person, as I did the district attorney) and that alone almost derailed my court appearance. I had to sit in court 30 minutes while they called probation and determined I was telling the truth.

The judge dished out the biggest blessing ever in granting me a stay of 90 days to put together the $1800 to pay the dmv, show probation, go to court, get disposition for an old (1998) case changed from guilty to dismissed. The navy will be pleased, I can move forward (though I have some opportunities I am working on which probably greatly overshadow what the navy has to offer me, first solid anything with decent guaranteed money I am taking and never looking back)

I have declared war on my poverty stricken lifestyle, I can take it no longer. Don't call me greedy, I am no such thing, but I just can not lie down and accept being broke destitute and exploited more often than not.

[MistaCobalina]

I dunno, it's something you'd have to talk to a specialist about, Unipolar Mania is pretty rare as I understand it.

[gay sex]

grapes of course i want u here u are bright ball of joy

[Statutory Ape]

Hey Scoots I hope this makes your morning- I baled hay for my folks yesterday and was actually paid for doing it (a first)

My step dad came and got me from my room across the street (moving OFF the back patio and into a room I paid for, can't tell you how good that feels!) and asked if I would move hay.

Reflexively I said my baling policies had changed and I no longer work for free (I literally saw an image of your text telling me "I do not bale hay for free, but those are only my baling policies. Do as you wish" or something similar. It stuck with me, I never even considered the option of asking for money for my labor. I am so used to just work work work, take whatever they give you (essentially exploitation) that it was actually hard to ask for anything.

He shrugged and said he'd throw me $10 an hour, which I am fine with. He even bought me a quarter pounder (with cheese) for lunch.

You gave me some courage and inspiration in that passing comment, it was and is genius and I have to admit, this not being exploited thing is rather empowering.

Thank you.

[Bobby Wong]

do you just not fucking get it mike? scooter does whatever it is scooter does, and he's an eccentric millionaire. you're abusing truck driver wakey-wake pills and sleeping on your mom's porch. don't you fucking dare come on scooter's site and try to tell him how to lead his life. if you absolutely must be online for some reason, these are the type of sites you should be visiting:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/lab/

http://www.sccgov.org/sites/ssa/Pages/County-of-Santa-Clara-Social-Services-Agency.aspx

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

[Statutory Ape]

I dunno, it's something you'd have to talk to a specialist about, Unipolar Mania is pretty rare as I understand it.

JFC IS THIS ME

"So far, this discussion has been based on a viewpoint that puts a very positive spin on the manic aspect of bipolar disorder. However, as I said at the outset, there is another perspective that argues that full-blown mania in and of itself is incredibly debilitating. Some of the controversy may result from considering different points in the progression of a manic episode.

In the early stages of a manic episode, a person may seem to be more social, active,talkative, self-confident, insightful and creative than usual. [absolutely agree] But as the episode unfolds, common symptoms include extreme irritability YES, overreaction to stimuli TO SAY THE LEAST, difficulty understanding what is going on, poor judgment, blaming others for things that go wrong, and loss of touch with reality, in some cases including hallucinations and delusions (2). YES I WOULD SAY THAT ABOUT DESCRIBES MY EXPERIENCES WITH MANIA RATHER PERFECTLY.

One bipolar sufferer described the state of mania in the following way:

"The fast ideas become too fast and there are far too many...overwhelming confusion replaces clarity...you stop keeping up with it -- memory goes, infectious humor ceases to amuse. Your friends become frightened...everything is now against the grain...you are Irritable, angry, frightened." <-----sadly, that's exactly what it's like for me...

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1840

Also my manic episodes do not accompany depression of any kind. I gyrate between healthy happy fun and grounded in reality to spinning out of control completely, unaware of what I am doing saying and how far out of touch I have gotten.

it happens fast dude, like if there's a catalyst that sets me off (tine tends to get the brunt of my bullshit mania because he messes with me GODFORBID I KNOW and, though his intentions are fairly innocuous, repeatedly he's trigged full blown manic episodes. Interestingly, I sleep them off) I can be full blown manic within seconds, not minutes, though the mania builds to a climax.

Any chance music is causing or might help this? I am open to any ideas at this point.

[gay sex]

ur black widow spider friend better not be a hallucination rogers

[gay sex]

or i swear to god.....

[anatine]

Its ok Mike, all is forgiven.


Unless this comic book deal doesnt go through.





Then I'll fucking destroy you.

[Statutory Ape]

Also, for the record, when I had health insurance I did try to get help.

When I had blue cross I went to a doctor and received prozac. No more or less, just fucking prozac.

When I had Kaiser a couple years ago I (after spending 8-9 weeks bouncing around) managed to see a psychiatrist who deemed me "type 2 bi-polar, nonspecific" and wrote me a script for lamictal 100mg, come back in SIX MONTHS.

I suspect I need a more intensive level of care than I have received and I am saying this because people tend to knock me, saying "WELL MIKE YOU NEED TO FIX THIS. THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO, THEY HAVE INSURANCE AND GO SEE A DOCTOR. YOU ARE LAZY AND LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY AND ARE WORTHLESS"

I went to several doctors and, so far, I've gotten a shitty anti-depressant and lamictal. I might think I could tell my psychiatrist the lamictal is worthless FAR SOONER THAN SIX MONTHS, but that might require them actually caring enough about me to move me along faster so that I might find something that actually fucking works and live a balanced, productive life at some point.

[gay sex]

its all about that cigna daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawg

[Statutory Ape]

Its ok Mike, all is forgiven.


Unless this comic book deal doesnt go through.





Then I'll fucking destroy you.

rofl he is very real, be patient.

[anatine]

http://i.imgur.com/m811T.jpg

[Statutory Ape]

Stop getting street poison confused with methamphetamine.

You smoke meth and consider that self medicating your ADHD if I am not mistaken (and unless a crate of semi-expired desoxyn fell out of an airplane onto your flat this is still true) so YOU are consuming "street poison"

What makes your position even less defensible is the fact THAT YOU FUCKING SMOKE IT. Fucks sake at least take it orally if you are going to claim it's medication. Eating it at least makes it close to desoxyn (I could whip together a recipe for an extended release if you like, it's not terribly difficult and methamphetamine does have very high oral bio-availability) presuming you have an adequate scale and cap it yourself or something.

Also, you are making no mention whatsoever of your inability to eat food regularly, you aren't exercising, you are smoking cigarettes (untold amounts of them) you don't sleep....I mean, you're a tweaker at this point. I want you to realize this and at least TRY to make a positive change please.

30 days, that's all i am asking. I will help you dose the ephedrine properly to mimic 5mg of desoxyn if that would help. I will also work on rigging together an extended release for street meth so that, if the ephdrine doesn't work, you will know you have something to look forward to.

What have you got to lose?

[SkyNigger]

I am making this post as acknowledgement that I have dug my own grave here, essentially.

I keep going manic for some reason, has nothing to do with drugs.

You don't know that it has nothing to do with meds or with the government's street poison. You don't know that it has nothing to do with air pollution. You don't know that it has nothing to do with pollen. You don't know that it has nothing to do with lots of things.

It's very unfortunate for this world that those who have a vested interest in making people insane successfully associate their insane victims with the governments' street poisons. They intentionally and maliciously get cause > effect around the wrong way.

Blaming your behaviour on drugs or going out of your way to point out that it has nothing to do with drugs is more or less the same fallacy.

I have said some spiteful, childish and disrespectful things to a good many of you and, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.

But we are not your mother, or your fellowship, your sponsors or your congregation. So...I'm going to go down to the pawnbroker with your apology and then I'm going to let it ride till I hit $0.01 or bust.

I cannot speak for the others but I'm quite sure they will frame it for posterity.

Though I do not deserve it, I am seeking forgiveness. If not now, at some point in the future would be fantastic.

No, you're seeking acceptance. You need to be a special kind of amazing to find it when you're looking for it. When you accept yourself, others may accept you. You cannot force yourself onto others or they'll despise your filthy urine.

Everything has to be focused inwards, but then I'm tired of repeating my (somewhat obvious, yet brilliant nonetheless) rhetoric.

I am desperately trying to figure out how I can repair my shit reputation.

You don't repair reputations. When you deliver value, you get a reputation for your consistency. When you deliver urine, you get a reputation for that. Reputations are valueless. They are merely something that happens as an irrelevant part and parcel of being known for delivering.

The only people who place value on reputations are those who want to exploit one when they get it.

It's very Christian, this obsession with reputation and respect. The only people obsessed with public opinion are those who are a horror show in private.

I realized last night almost everything I say that's out of line, crazy, insane etc is, on a much deeper level, me attempting to make myself seem relevant.

Yeah I don't think there's any need to call the sub-editors and put a hold on tonight's print run, with that disclosure. It is earth-shattering though. I've only been saying it for months now.

It's shameful to say the least.

Well it's cringe-worthy and embarrassing. For shame to be involved, you would probably want to have "grabbed power" or had a chance, at least.

Of course, power exists only where there is Trust and Love, Fealty and Unconditional Loyalty. You might be barking up the wrong tree, if that's what you're seeking. The median age of posters on this forum is not 3.

Scooter, I pretty much knew a month or two ago you'd put me in the rear view

You put yourself in the rear view. Like I said, I'm not your sponsor or your mother or your parish priest / minister. You have no value to exploit, and I don't exploit 'value' anyway. Those creeps will make you feel good whilst they exploit you, until they throw you out of their home on account of that aforementioned non-existent value. I just don't give a fuck.

That could have been very lucky for you.

I tried just about everything I could think of to make some kind of positive dent in our relationship but it's all been a waste of time. I fucked up and know the black and white truth is that I do not deserve your friendship, your time, nor your anything.

We don't have a relationship so yes, you are wasting our time.

Very few people on the planet 'deserve' my friendship but I am friends with many, regardless. I was not giving you my time. In what world would you imagine you'd be worth such a thing. It's a delusional world.

I was giving my Self my time. You don't 'deserve' my advice, but then I was not giving you the cold hard Truth for you. What that has to do with whether or not it has value for you, is irrelevant. My motives have never been to rescue you. Other, more relevant lives, are at stake.

I just burned inside for acceptance, trust, respect, to have intelligent funny people acknowledge me as an equal

Mike you're not in middle school anymore.

Funny thing is, I should never have strove to become accepted, as if I needed to accomplish it or solve the puzzle of my non-acceptance, I should have just performed adequately and not worried so much.

Yeah there are ~6 billion people who could say that, and it would be valid.

Also Scooter I wanted to offer something useful to you

I have neither solicited your demented advice nor am I interested in your offering your insane drivel. When I need help, I will ask for it. I have asked for help with two specific things on this forum in 2012 and no one has been interested in assisting with either. You want to help? Go do what I cannot. I have specifically requested help with two things.

When I need help, I ask for it. To offer it unsolicited is a moronic 'trick' that works on 4 year olds. Above the age of adolescence, it's grounds for being Rested In Peace.

I hope my advice can help get you on the right track as well.

We are not linked Mike. There is not a single variable that can be used to imagine we are comparable. You're a great deal like my insane sister; just a lot more insane. You are nothing like me.

We're at the opposite ends of every scale.

The substance you are self medicating with can be dangerous

Wait! What?

Tell me more, tell me more. Like, do you have a car.

I'm just joshing with you. Don't tell me what I already know. You know nothing. Connect the dots on what you should be telling.

I would much rather see you taking some ephedrine

Well I'll just pop down to the 7/11 and give your homespun advice a whirl then. Thanks Mike! You're a pal.

Do it for yourSelf, what kind of role model can you hope to be for your siblings high and strung out all the time? Getting off that stuff will do worlds for your mind body and social perception, and that's just the start of it.

I will fucking spend the hour to investigate how to ban you myself if you ever nauseate me again with your moronic, unsolicited advice.

You may not want to face the truth but meth does cause a LOT of irreparable brain damage, it's literally killing you. As a person who cares about you I would like to ask you to give the ephedrine a go for at least 30 days. Just a month, one single month, what have you got to lose? You lose nothing but potentially could gain a LOT, money for starters (ephedrine is dirt cheap).

Moron shut your vile Christian face. Where's the Desoxyn you claimed to have sourced months ago? Get me Desoxyn or shut your demented, imbecilic face.

On ephedrine, you can actually eat, which would be a real blessing for you. Your medication combined with malnutrition, smoking cigarettes, not sleeping....I mean, you are essentially destroying yourself at the fastest rate humanly possible, please realize this. There is no if's and's or but's, you are putting yourself into an early grave and doubling or tripling the rate at which you age. The effects are subtle when young, but fast forward 15-20 years and you will see the damage you're doing now and will likely regret it.

Mike you stupid fucking demented Christian imbecile, you know nothing about me. I am going to tell you about who I am and then I'm going to ban you, even if I have to do it myself.

This photo was taken today, for a visa application.

http://i.imgur.com/eGZYw.jpg

I am not suffering from malnutrition, Mike.

I sleep uncomfortably routinely; far more than I would like but then you know I've been retired since I was 26.

This is my g/f Mike.

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Zh20WVnVxCw/UBuEq8uw1bI/AAAAAAAABMY/pxkyLuaOkvM/s649/20120803_145712_1.jpg

She's a model. She turns heads, like...all of them. She turned mine.

This is my ex-g/f. She's like an 8 or 8.5. She's not a model; she's at uni.

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Fwza3o3LVq4/UAIZu7p-GYI/AAAAAAAABKA/KYxFlFSSJ4g/s649/IMAG0191.jpg

Never too late to change John, in fact Today would be a great day to get off your medicine and onto something more agreeable to human life.

Mike you're the most disagreeable human being I've ever had the displeasure of coming into contact with. You're not in the position to advise a heterosexual smack junkie giving BJs to faggots for hits. Your imagining that you are in the position to give me advice would be comical except, Christian sleaze isn't amusing.

It's nauseating.

I'm here to answer any and all questions you might have about health, fitness, gaining muscle, losing fat, vitamins minerals

You should wait by the phone.

It's depressing, to say the very least. BPD does not mention anything about this, not how I am suffering it anyway.

You have multiple xxDs. You don't want to neatly stitch it up like that. It's not going to be neatly stitched up because you have multiple Ds. You're batshit crazy. There is literally only one decent thing someone in your position would do, and you're not decent enough to do it.

Life is a learning process...

For some.

Others remain three years old for life.

[SkyNigger]

Hey Scoots I hope this makes your morning

Your insanity is horrifying. In what delusional world...

Do you think I'm lying in bed agonising over your imbecilic exploitability, tossing and turning and wistfully thinking, "Golly gosh, if only Mike could stop being one of the billions of imbeciles who are exploited by creeps who pay them with emotional currency, we could turn this whole ship around!!"

I'm not thinking that, Mike. I don't think about you at all except when I'm drilling Truth at your stupid, incomprehensibly moronic face.

My step dad came and got me from my room across the street (moving OFF the back patio and into a room I paid for, can't tell you how good that feels!)

Yeah I was pretty chuffed to move out of home as well. Of course, I was 14 not 32.

I literally saw an image of your text telling me "I do not bale hay for free, but those are only my baling policies."

Yes it was good advice Mike. Everything I say is generally pretty solid. I didn't 'give' it to you.

I give good advice to everyone because I'm Selfish and Sane.

I never even considered the option of asking for money for my labor.

Why would you? You want to be paid with love. It's why no one cares; but gosh I bet they sure pretended to. Free hay baling. What's not to LOVE?

I am so used to just work work work, take whatever they give you (essentially exploitation) that it was actually hard to ask for anything.

You're the most exploitable nigger I've ever heard of. But then you're lying through your deceitful teeth about finding it hard to ask for anything. You ask everyone for everything, non-stop. You're very demanding, actually. I'm glad I'm not your mother.

I don't know where in the Lord's Name I'd hide the body; I live in hotels. I've never asked but I don't think even my tips are enough to get a concierge to help with that sort of thing.

Then again, if I was your mother you would be sane.

You gave me some courage and inspiration in that passing comment, it was and is genius and I have to admit, this not being exploited thing is rather empowering.

Yes I certainly felt that way. But then I was 5 not 32.

Thank you.

You're not grateful. You're just attention-seeking. You want to show gratitude? Fuck off.

No I mean it would be great if you fucked off. I don't want to login to the Administrative Control Panel. If you're grateful, do something like that. I have enough fake gratitude to store, as it is.

Also my manic episodes do not accompany depression of any kind.

Hate being me right now...

You're just rambling your moronic lies again.

I am open to any ideas at this point.

No you're not. You just want attention.

that might require them actually caring enough about me to move me along faster so that I might find something that actually fucking works and live a balanced, productive life at some point.

Brain doctors are almost exclusively imbeciles. There is one that I have linked to or mentioned a dozen times, who is not (http://thelastpsychiatrist.com). But you're too lazy to read so maybe I'm being unfair to the imbecilic brain doctors.

Clearly, they have summed you up quite efficiently. I'm referring to calculations of value.

You smoke meth

I have never smoked methamphetamine in my entire life.

Stop degrading the world with your galling stupidity.

What makes your position even less defensible

Well it's just as well that I'm not defending my position.

You might even say I'm the one who disclosed my actions.

Fuck off. I've had it with you.

Also, you are making no mention whatsoever of your inability to eat food regularly, you aren't exercising, you are smoking cigarettes (untold amounts of them) you don't sleep....I mean, you're a tweaker at this point. I want you to realize this and at least TRY to make a positive change please.

You fucking imbecile. The world needs people like you to die but you're not decent enough to be decent. Humanity is going to have to get a lot more decent about dealing with the likes of you. But they can deal with your indecency.

I have no desire to.

What have you got to lose?

Mike you're doing that thing where you're confusing yourself with other people.

You're not who you look up to, Mike. You're bipolar which means you're on every opposite pole. I've warned you 100 times if I've warned you once.

You are the weakest fucking link that I've come across in 30 years of coming across weak links.

Goodbye.

[Statutory Ape]

Have you stopped smoking and switched to desoxyn and I just am not aware of it? Or are you orally administering? How much and how often if you don't mind me asking?

I skimmed your post a bit, hostile and full of malice as your picture would lead one to predict. When I actually read the thing and retort, I will add some pictures I snapped earlier as I'm feeling festive, like a party is on the way.

I really hate that you cannot tolerate ribbing jabbing sarcarsm or anything fun whatsoever. I can at least say I'm fun 72% of the time, with a shitty 28% crust of horribleness. You are literally anti-fun sooper serious 24/7

Lighten up sometimes, laughter is food for the soul.

I mean, you gotta eat sometimes kid.

[SkyNigger]

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/178324_469635296399576_877153261_o.jpg

[MistaCobalina]

Scooter, can I get a letter grade on my 408_Mike account, please.

[SkyNigger]

Mike the world would be fun if everyone like you had the decency to do the bleeding obvious thing and take your insanity (X) out of the equation.

People lie to you because you entertain them. You make them feel good by being an implausible failboat even failboats like Marty can stack up well against. They're not your friends Mike. They're paying you to keep on failing with love, every time.

Now stop distracting me whilst I rid you out of this equation. I don't need failboats around me to feel good about myself. I contribute to fun.

I cannot contribute to fun with people like you screaming your insanity non-stop. Any posts you manage to make before I either figure out how to ban you and / or close the forum down will be the last posts you make on Skatz.

There's a hint in there for someone who knows what they're doing. Ban this clown. I'm putting him down.

[Statutory Ape]

Do you think I'm lying in bed agonising over your imbecilic exploitability, tossing and turning and wistfully thinking, "Golly gosh, if only Mike could stop being one of the billions of imbeciles who are exploited by creeps who pay them with emotional currency, we could turn this whole ship around!!"

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-EPnHoAxx33M/UB_uU2Q6KSI/AAAAAAAABVk/XPLrPop74yM/s649/20120806_231726_3_bestshot.jpg

ladies and gentlemen...Scooter

And not for a second may you chastise me for discussing your personal habit, as if I am running amuck lambasting your golden reputation. You personally have said as much publicly dozens of times. You never (to this point) made any effort to hide it. If this some PR effort I am not aware of, please try not being so harsh when I do not have required information.

I tried to help, you shat upon me. Stellar guy you are.

Having second thoughts about reading your posts (usually a bad idea) and spending my valuable time retorting to whatever you wrote to me. You are just so stubborn, it's akin to micon's bed shitting in terms of raw natural talent.

Only usually his bed shitting doesn't come with condescending anger and venomous hostility, with a drab of seething rage on the side.

[MistaCobalina]

I resigned my Admin about a week ago scooter, or I'd do it. I'm sure vaughn would be happy to, in 2-5 minutes.


Also, you're an admin, you can do it if you want to yourself

[Statutory Ape]

I resigned my Admin about a week ago scooter, or I'd do it. I'm sure vaughn would be happy to, in 2-5 minutes.


Also, you're an admin, you can do it if you want to yourself

rofl but he doesn't care what I say, not at all...

come on scuter, what's bothering you?

[Statutory Ape]

He's a blasted site administrator, he can do as he pleases with any function of these forums. He just wants to have his way and not be challenged, ever, on anything, and if I happen to say something he dislikes, instead of actually engaging me with civility he throws a temper tantrum like oh I won't even say it.

If you want John I will block you and from this moment forward I will have you on ignore and never comment on anything you say nor respond to anything you say. Just green rep this post and as you wish it shall be done.

I would rather talk it out but that's me....

[Statutory Ape]

Also scuter damnit I used to read every single word of everything you posted, especially to me, but over time I just can't take the vernacular you use on the regular. It's harsh, makes me start skimming, and this means a large part of why I don't get your important messages and such are your own fault.

I mean a lot of what you say literally is gold, but the way you say it makes me manic, on the spot while I am reading it.

Are you the bigger man looking down on me, knowing my short comings and refusing to tone down the posts a bit?

Your posts make me MANIC, yet you despise me because I don't listen to you?

So, if you just talked to me with civility, I dunno...I might be able to listen?

[Bobby Wong]

Mike, why aren't you out looking for work or free mental health counseling?

[Statutory Ape]

Also if I get banned again, by anyone for any reason, at any time, I am never coming back. I am not being emotional, this is not a power grab nor my manipulative nonsense, I am being real. I've tried to make it work and I enjoy this forum, but I've past the breaking point. This site has proven to be unhealthy to me at times and I do not wish to go through the insanity it causes any longer if that's going to be the case.

[DankBlaniels]

I have asked for help with two specific things on this forum in 2012 and no one has been interested in assisting with either. You want to help? Go do what I cannot. I have specifically requested help with two things.


scooter i gave you some feedback when you asked for help with improving your writing style. also pike did the same. see we are a helpful bunch here at skatz so no need for you to shut the forum down.

i have thought the fact that you can pull the plug whenever you like and i wonder how hard would it be for the forum to be owned by all of us as a collective. surely we could all chip in for hosting costs to prevent us getting shut down when you get bored or die or whatever.

[Statutory Ape]

Mike, why aren't you out looking for work or free mental health counseling?

I obviously have work and free mental health counseling does not really exist.

Tell you what- for you, I will make an appt at valley med to see a psychiatrist and try to get some (not sure what) medication of some kind.

if it screws me over getting in the navy, i'll just take that as a sign I shouln't be in the damn navy (won't bother me at this point)

and I am also fucking pissed because scooter is an asshole and literally refuses to engage on equal footing. He always wants to play the game his way by his rules and if he isn't happy with it he throws a fit and acts very rudely. I wish you would speak up on this, but you and everyone else just ignore his insanity and it pisses me off.

All I ask for is civility from him and he's incapable of it, yet I have shown a lot of loyalty to the forum and any chance I get I try to help him any way I can, and he just says fuck me left and right.

That's an injustice if ever there was one and normally you stick up for people like me in situations like this.

What gives?

[Statutory Ape]

scooter i gave you some feedback when you asked for help with improving your writing style. also pike did the same. see we are a helpful bunch here at skatz so no need for you to shut the forum down.

i have thought the fact that you can pull the plug whenever you like and i wonder how hard would it be for the forum to be owned by all of us as a collective. surely we could all chip in for hosting costs to prevent us getting shut down when you get bored or die or whatever.

If the other problem he needs on is his inability to fucking smile, laugh at a joke, laugh at himself, not be super serious 24/7 or treat people with civility at all times (or even most of the time) God HimSelf can't help the man.

[anatine]

24 hour ban for thinking Scooter isnt perfect. Good day Mike, fix your fucking head and we will try again tomorrow.

[DankBlaniels]

having met scooter i can confirm he has no problem having a laugh and is definately not super serious

would have snap hung out again when i was last in bkk but unfortunately he was too bust dealing with all the catholic toddlers in manilla

[DankBlaniels]

mike you need to realise that scooter is basically the skatz equivalent of the king of thailand and criticising him can have very servere consequences

be grateful that tine was lenient with you this time and in future make a better effort to be respectful when speaking to his majesty

[MistaCobalina]

Mike has informed me that he is taking a nap from the forums in an attempt to get serious with his life, braj. I hope this is legit.

[MistaCobalina]

also, more like the King of Bi-land. AMIRITE?

[SkyNigger]

And not for a second may you chastise me for discussing your personal habit, as if I am running amuck lambasting your golden reputation. You personally have said as much publicly dozens of times.

I have never smoked meth in my fucking life.

Golden reputation? What the fuck are you talking about.

No question mark.

If this some PR effort I am not aware of, please try not being so harsh when I do not have required information.


I don't do PR.

Your stupidity is unacceptable.

I have given you the information in explicit terms no less than 8 times. You're just too stupid to be tolerable.

I tried to help, you shat upon me. Stellar guy you are.


Fuck off Christian. No one has ever asked you for help in your life without setting you up like the dimwit you are.

I resigned my Admin about a week ago scooter, or I'd do it. I'm sure vaughn would be happy to, in 2-5 minutes.

kk Vaughn or Rum Dick or whomever knows how to do it, ban this toxic fuckwit please. His insanity is unacceptably moronic.

Also Vaughn I got an email from the hosting site but my pw (or the pw I thought was my pw doesn't work) - rather than change it (and/or go to the effort of logging in), I thought I'd try and get you to look it up. snicker

Let me know if I need to do it. It might be important or something. God I'm a moron. I went to cut and paste it and discovered I have lost the capacity to read.

Dear John Vincent,

A new notification ticket (#1918393) was created in your account.

**********************************
Subject: Scheduled Maintenance on August 11, 2012
Account Link: General Inquiry
Category: Other
**********************************

Click here to login and view the ticket:
https://manage.ixwebhosting.com/index.php/cpanelhelpdesk.getFrmTicketModify/hd_ticketid/1918393


He just wants to have his way and not be challenged, ever, on anything, and if I happen to say something he dislikes, instead of actually engaging me with civility

Mike the only civil thing to do with you would be to Rest you In Peace.

If you want John I will block you and from this moment forward I will have you on ignore and never comment on anything you say nor respond to anything you say. Just green rep this post and as you wish it shall be done.

I would rather talk it out but that's me....

Talk it out with your Mother. I'm banning you. First person I think I've ever censored in 11 years on forums which I've made close to 100,000 posts. You're just that nauseating. It's time for you to fuck off.

Also scuter damnit I used to read every single word of everything you posted, especially to me, but over time I just can't take the vernacular you use on the regular. It's harsh, makes me start skimming, and this means a large part of why I don't get your important messages and such are your own fault.


Someone shut this fuck up.

Are you the bigger man looking down on me, knowing my short comings and refusing to tone down the posts a bit?


No. Marty is a bigger man looking down on you. I would have you die for Humanity's sake. But then I'd rather never hear your screaming at all. The sociopaths can deal with you. They're the reason you're allowed to 'live' at all.

Your posts make me MANIC, yet you despise me because I don't listen to you?

I would have to care a twig to despise someone. You're a bug Mike. A screaming mosquito.

So, if you just talked to me with civility, I dunno...I might be able to listen?

If you just killed yourself I wouldn't have to listen?

Also if I get banned again, by anyone for any reason, at any time, I am never coming back.

That would be the point dipshit.

free mental health counseling does not really exist.

Tell you what- for you, I will make an appt at valley med to see a psychiatrist and try to get some (not sure what) medication of some kind.

Uh oh. Look at that Bob.

Now you owe him a favour.

He did one for you.

and I am also fucking pissed because scooter is an asshole and literally refuses to engage on equal footing. He always wants to play the game his way by his rules and if he isn't happy with it he throws a fit and acts very rudely.

But you're not my equal Mike. You're no one's equal. Hetero prostitutes sucking dick for dependency reasons are above you.

It's rude to allow you to live but you're not important enough for me to do Humanity the favour.

any chance I get I try to help him any way I can, and he just says fuck me left and right.


I've met pretty girls who have never, once, been as stupid as you are. Not even when they were being ditzy intentionally.

[anatine]

In all seriousness, I looked up from a project 2 hours ago to see Mike making an earnest and contrite post about how hes clearly a slave to his mental issues and hes terribly sorry about being completely unable to maintain a logical response spectrum to online forums.

30 minutes ago I check back in and hes screeching at the site admin for ignoring him and abusing him in the same sentence.

And never mind the comic strip debacle, Im not even going to get into that here. I understand we are all romantics and want to believe Mike can turn it around but really, this is getting gruesome.

[MistaCobalina]

Excuse me a moment, but I think we need a DadBoner break..


Karl Welzein ‏@DadBoner
A modern man don't lead life by all the rules of some old bible. That's like readin' 'bout today's athletics in a 1981 Sports Illustrated.

[anatine]

That's the stuff.

[VaughnP]

Issue properties:
Issue Type: Other
Issue Category: Other
Problem Code: Notification

Details given:
Hello,

On August 11th, from 12:01am to 4:00am EDT (UTC-0400), we will be doing scheduled maintenance on the systems where your websites reside. Your websites and access to managing these sites may be unreachable during this period.

As with any high-performance equipment, it’s necessary to go in and do upgrades and preventive maintenance work on a regular basis. We always try to pick the slowest activity times so it causes the least interruption to you. You will not need to do anything before or after this maintenance period–although we encourage you (as always) to create backups of your sites regularly. If you’re not sure how to do that, contact us any time.

If you have any questions or concerns, please contact us via ticket, email support@ixwebhosting.com, chat, or phone 1-800-385-0450. You may also check for the most current information on our Status Blog: status.ixwebhosting.com

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The password is still the same. I've PMd it to you.

[MistaCobalina]

Mike sent me a message that he is concerned that Scooter is concerned about meth references mike made in his posts. He's willing to have any or all meth references edited out of his posts, as a sign of good faith. He also would like his ban extended for 72 hours, so he can remain productive, skatz poses quite a distraction for him.

[rum dick]

Water under the bridge grape. Water under the bridge.

[rum dick]

I'm still on page two btw

[rum dick]

Still on page two - ape don't take this place too serious. Yes, we are all super geniuses. Well except blankdaniels. In his defense he was born a super genius but drank himself average. Anywho the morale is chill out and don't think of anybody here like they're a God. However, you didn't hear this from me but sacrificing a raccoon in honor of skatz will probably get you an insta ist invite from gare

[rum dick]

Have you stopped smoking and switched to desoxyn and I just am not aware of it? Or are you orally administering? How much and how often if you don't mind me asking?

I skimmed your post a bit, hostile and full of malice as your picture would lead one to predict. When I actually read the thing and retort, I will add some pictures I snapped earlier as I'm feeling festive, like a party is on the way.

I really hate that you cannot tolerate ribbing jabbing sarcarsm or anything fun whatsoever. I can at least say I'm fun 72% of the time, with a shitty 28% crust of horribleness. You are literally anti-fun sooper serious 24/7

Lighten up sometimes, laughter is food for the soul.

I mean, you gotta eat sometimes kid.

Not true. Scooter can be and has been as goofy as any of us. You do realize that most of the time you're interacting with him it is because you posted something you consider serious and he then replies to it.

[rum dick]

Missing page 2 :(

[rum dick]

What are the two specific things?

[Bobby Wong]

I think it was three things. Scooter wanted a legal opinion relating to the childhood abuse he suffered at the hand of the CoG cult, advice on his writing, and to know where he could purchase a usb flash drive with a manual write protect switch.

[MistaCobalina]

So mike just sent me a huge private message on Donk down, where he quoted scooters post and made a bunch of replies to his post, and he wanted me to post them here. I had to put my foot down, I'm not going to be used as a conduit for mike to get around his banning. I think scooter might ban me too if I started relaying mikes novels onto here. I told mike that if he wanted to communicate with scooter, the best idea would be to tweet to him. But better still, don't communicate with him and take a break from the site for a while.

[Bobby Wong]

didn't he say just hours ago that he was never coming back?

[blake]

I think it was three things. Scooter wanted a legal opinion relating to the childhood abuse he suffered at the hand of the CoG cult, advice on his writing, and to know where he could purchase a usb flash drive with a manual write protect switch.

in fairness, scooter's request for help in the CoG thread was super vague, he started the thread by posting 20 news articles in a row and then asking something like "what should i do"? i honestly had no idea what the question was, not that it would matter cause i know nothing about austrailian law.

[Bobby Wong]

the only thing a victim can do within the legal system is to provide as much evidence as possible to the relevant prosecutor(s) and urge them to seek justice on your behalf.

the best way to improve your creative writing skills is to join a writers workshop at a local college and commit to learning the craft of writing in much the same way that you would learn a trade at a vocational school. recognize that artistry and inspiration have little place in the arsenal of the working writer, who is in reality just a skilled craftsman and able to better use the same tools that are available to everybody.

i listed several models of suitable usb drives and places where they could be purchased in an earlier thread.

[SkyNigger]

My memory embarrasses me. It would seem I am 50% of an ingrate. I have asked for four things, I now realise, for 50% return. I had forgotten about Steerpike's (and others) writing tips, and Bob's USB find (which is ostensibly in the post but then I only tend to get invoices arriving in the mail these last couple years - why, it's the darndest thing).

Blake, you and Rum Dick might want to read the thread again about the CoG. But I don't require the questions answered anymore. I only distrusted my conclusions on the day, due to my horrified emotional state. I know the answers now. But then I wasn't asking for much, was I? Asking for an "opinion" is suddenly an imposition?

And yall forgot what this symbol denotes:

?

Easy thing to forget really.

http://f.cl.ly/items/1g1m2S3k0D3a2r0E4515/Screen%20Shot%202012-08-08%20at%2012.26.03%20PM.PNG

The final thing was:

I need help researching a fact which should be ludicrously easy to ascertain but the two times I have seriously attempted to investigate cost me an LCD screen on each occasion.

In 2006, I was expelled from the University of Queensland in ludicrous fashion - I was literally pulled out of the middle of a lecture on Constitutional Law and expelled for "failure to pay tuition". I was in my third week of an ostensibly prestigious juris doctor program (Masters Law).

I was not 'insane' (i.e. I was not sanely suspicious) so I had no reason to question the circumstances nor cross-check the veracity of the story I was told.

"What reason could they have to lie to me?"

That's the question I have, to this day, never asked. Why would I?

I think it's a question that warrants asking. I was approved to be loaned the 6 figure amount (outrageously) charged by the UQ Law Faculty. Unlike all of you elitists, I grew up in poverty only Indian children exploited by shrewd pimps might be able to comprehend. "Slumdog Millionaire"? Hah. That was one of the most devious movies you never even realised was corrupting you. That kid was a fucking moron. In Reality, he dies or works as a slave to his dreams in a call centre his entire life. Rest assured, he will get a girl but he will not get that girl; not even if she's disfigured to make the idiotically implausible feel-good Disney poison a little more 'plausible'.

I am not an idiot like that imbecilic Indian work of fiction. I was the real deal. The genuine Slumdog Millionaire. But they will never make a movie about my life because a) it's not commercially viable to tell slaves-in-denial Truth; and b) they don't want you realising the Truth about your stupidity and your dreams and how lucky you are that you are not a 'winning' Slave. Very few slaves are ever that unlucky. I know a bunch of them.

But fuck Danny Boyle. But on the other hand, how do you make Trainspotting and then go on to make Slumdog Millionaire? One is Truth. One is putrid Poisonous Surreptitious Lies.

I can only imagine how that 'happens'.

So I will reserve hating on Danny Boyle because this is a world where people like Eddie Murphy (the funniest man alive, at one point) create magic like Delirious before doing something like Norbit (which you could be forgiven for feeling was evidence that Eddie had lost his "funny"). You'd be wrong, I suspect. He's still doing comedy. It's just not the comedy you're looking for. I doubt there are many who see what I think is going on, with Eddie. He's communicating, under duress; I'm almost certain of it.

You have no idea how often this pattern plays out. Someone goes up against Power with Truth. Suddenly they're producing deceitful poison. Over and over again, you'll see this pattern play out; if you're looking for it. So of course you probably see jack shit.

Or maybe you see as much as I do, or even more? Who would ever know with you creeps. Yall are very shrewd. You play your cards so close to your chests, you forget to splash the pot occasionally. You're not going to win with your shrewd Tight-Passive strategy. But then I'm not going to win either, because of your shrewd strategy. I see patterns. I connect dots. I bet you do as well.

The dots are horrifying, which is why I connect them for anyone who wants to see through the haze of 'sweet' Fantasy and Lies. I do this because I'm more shrewd than you.
_____

But anyway, though it's hard to believe, I did not manage to save $100,000 whilst working my way through child slavery and school. So I was funded for my juris doctor program with a government loan approved under the Masters component of HECS (Higher Education Contribution Scheme). HECS is effectively the Australian government investing in their slaves. It's basically low-interest or even zero-interest (but adjusted for CPI) loans for higher education. Almost all loans are repaid, obviously; via salary docking.

It's literally win / win but then that would depend on your 'philosophical' understanding of the role / function of government. Does an effective government want their slaves to be brighter than they really need to be? You know, how bright does a slave really need to be?

The Answer: [Chris Rock says it better than I can.]

DLKvYB7CeAY

HECS costs the government almost nothing. Almost all the loans are repaid over time. It's basically a no-brainer. It's terrible governance, really; Power isn't normally that stupid. The Vatican would be disgusted at such incompetence. I can imagine the Pope firing off an angry memo to the Australian franchise of the Westphalia™ brand.

"Power: You're doing it wrong."

But then maybe they did it right, in at least one instance. They approved my loan or there would have been no fucking point in even bothering with applying for one of the limited positions made available by UQ's Law Faculty for 2006. I applied, successfully; because I am the polar opposite of Mike. I then successfully applied for the fast-tracked juris doctor program because, as the polar opposite of Mike, I am a fucking machine and my undergrad grades were to die for.

No I literally mean that children exploited by their parents kill themselves all the time, because they're unable to get the grades that (hilariously) very nearly killed me a couple years later. But we'll get to that, shortly. First, you need to understand that the children commit suicide because their parents love them and want them to reach their full potential (which is only ever discovered the moment before they die). Unfortunately for them, or fortunately (who can ever really know these things), they don't have my conditioning. So they jump off bridges or swing from elevated heights having 'failed' their exploiters who love them enough to make them miserable and, ultimately, kill them.

It's a little funny, really. They literally die trying to get the grades I got whilst sleeping through the lectures I didn't miss altogether on account of my preference for getting high every other night and drunk every - single - night. It's not gallows humour. I'm bitter and a little jealous.

In hindsight, I think they back-doored optimality, oscillating under twirling fans after the shit hit the fan 3500 years ago (without anyone realising we're in a global feces fight). I think they're lucky fucks, really. I never get a lucky break like that; slipping off a chair with a professionally-knotted lanyard around my neck. I'd be too embarrassed to ask one of the sailors to help me out; the blushing glow of private school nerds I'd be forced to endure with good humour (as they milked their 'moment' for all it was 'worth') was bad enough. I mean, I'm bright enough to learn how to competently manage a Double Windsor, but then in a world of Mikes, why would I bother? But I'm distracting you from the dead children of Love. They're the lucky ones, but whatever.
____

Back to my not having the $80,000 or $100,000 or whatever UQ shrewdly charges students to endure three years of failed solicitors reading from law textbooks; yeah, I didn't have that kind of money lying around. My point being, who does have the money to be 'qualified'? Not I. But then the government was stepping in for the 99% of children who aren't unlucky enough to be born into money, so I took their loan and was 3 years away from graduating as a barrister with a very prestigious 'qualification.

UQ Law School is rather exclusive, as I was about to discover.

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-fsqHPO7VY60/T8yhFlq2yeI/AAAAAAAABX0/xWHlu9Pjego/s650/IMAG0010.jpg

Towards the end of my third week of 70 hr weeks (20 contact, 50 reading), it all came to an abrupt end. I read fast by the way; god, can you imagine DRK trying to plough his way through textbooks stacked up to my nipples (I'm 5'11") for the first year? Chortle. They don't care for "TLDR" hilarity in Law School. But then, aside from Bebo and Hi5 addicts, who ever does?

I was conditioned to work hard, being a product of the best of the best in a world of child exploitation. So I was actually half-enjoying it when the most inexplicable thing occurred. I never questioned a single thing I was told, until 2012 when I was given reason to start questioning everything.

In early 2006, in the middle of a lecture on Australian Constitutional Law, the professor was interrupted by the Rector's dogsbody (who was accompanied by a security guard). They wanted me to "step outside, and come with them"; this is in the middle of a lecture. With everyone looking at me, I asked what this was all about. The dogsbody (that filthy sleazy whore) gave me that Christian Compassionate look of pity that made me instantly believe someone had died. I feared the worst (one of my siblings) but hoped for the best (one of my parents). I wasn't all that impressed with the way everyone was looking at me in their shrewd way (thinking whatever the hell people think when a security guard-accompanied admin dogsbody says "I think it's best if we discuss this in private?"). I gulped, bracing for horror but trying to think positive (there are lots of people who I would laugh at learning they had come to a long overdue end). But I thought it was one of my siblings who died, so I quickly followed them outside where - ROFL - I was told I was being expelled for "failure to pay tuition".

I laughed. It was a laugh of sheer relief. This was nothing but an idiotic clerical error. I told them to take it up with the government, and turned to go back to my class. The security guard blocked my way. The dogsbody said something like "no you have take it up with the government"; and she demanded I give her my UQ student ID (which will not be issued unless your HECS loan is approved, obviously). Laughing, I handed it to her but I stopped laughing when she asked the security guard to escort me off the university grounds.

Like seriously WTF, it's the University of Queensland. It's not a military base?! You don't need an ID to be allowed to walk anywhere you want in UQ. It was the most inexplicable thing, but I was too FURIOUS at being the victim of some Centrelink moron's incompetence to dwell on how insane it truly was. I broke all kinds of speed limits in fury, racing to Centrelink in Fortitude Valley. There was some yelling to be done, but then my speeding was idiotic because my yelling had to take a ticket like everyone else.

After waiting in line for almost two hours with junkies, HIV-infected homeless individuals who don't have the decency to do the decent thing (they're a bit like Mike but they're not as disturbing as that demented freak), prostitutes that will let you do anything including punching them whilst you fuck them for $20 ("but not in the face, okay" - hah), and other degenerate victims of the creepiest fucking Society imaginable; my ticket number was finally called and I just started letting this minimum wage clerk have it. No one gives IT the way I give it. You might use two barrels. When I let someone have IT, two barrels are not sufficient.

I shred them like a Turkish soldier in an entrenched machine gut turret mowing down ANZACs charging up an exposed beach. But then this was no inexperienced 14 year old boy swept up in nationalism and patriotism and romance. I was up against a stone cold welfare pro.

Used to dealing with the insane every day, she was literally unbothered by my indignant outrage. Almost bored, she calmly looked up my file whilst I ranted in fury (perfectly understandable, but not justifiable; there's a pretty big difference). But I was so angry I could have killed whomever was responsible. I was certain this error was going to cost me an entire year; I run pretty bad when other people fuck things up.

But when she saw whatever she saw, her expression changed from one of "yawn another insane person venting" to "oh shit this poor kid, he's been screwed". I stopped yelling at seeing her expression change. And in the next 5 seconds, she drastically altered the course of my entire life. I could never have seen it coming.

She calmly told me there had been a mistake. I fucking knew that already. What I didn't know was, apparently, I should never have been approved for the loan. Apparently, the government had removed the graduate element of HECS when they handed down the last budget (so the 2005/2006 federal budget). Or in other words, apparently they weren't giving loans for Masters degrees anymore.

I didn't have $100,000 lying around. This had huge implications.

My world was spinning. I stumbled backwards, ashamed at my yelling at this poor lady. It was hardly her fault. This earth-shattering news seemed like something I should have known. I was embarrassed. How did I not know this? "I'm an idiot", I was feeling. I mumbled an apology for yelling at her and I walked out of the Centrelink in a daze. And that was that.

It was a pretty big deal because it broke me. I snapped and started exploiting disparities again. I made a couple million USD in the next few years, but I should have known better. I did know better.

The shock of being pulled out of law school was the final straw which signalled the end of a period of struggling where I had done all this below, and suffered a great deal more - just to get to Law school:

a) I fought the Power above the Law (the military, on it's way to War) and won an honourable discharge (made a little less honourable by their degrading it with their asserting that they're in the position to decide what is honourable and what isn't).

b) I very nearly starved to 'death' from being unemployable (in much the same way that Mike is unemployable but for every single opposite 'reason' - I was "overqualified" loll, but of course it took 80 pleas / demands / questions before a recruiting manager disclosed the Truth about motive, awkwardly). Humans are very shrewd but then I was not actually going to die. I was merely starving to death. With one of the sharpest minds in the country, rapidly deteriorating but seemingly getting sharper and sharper, I was days away from being very bad news for Society.

My baby sister saved a great many people from dying, but that's another story altogether. I was starving but I was not going to starve 'indefinitely'. I'm not Mike. I deliver. Society wanted me to deliver or die. I was not going to die. Bodies were going to start dropping through. I do not talk smack like a Christian, about what I'm going to 'do'. I just do. And I was days away from doing a lot of 'winning'. I was very sick, really. But I didn't feel insane at all.

I was feeling very numb, actually. I was getting very tired of Society's 'shrewd' refusal to disclose their motives for rejecting me for every conceivable job I applied for. Society really dodged a bullet. Or maybe thousands of bullets. I'm not a smack talker, unless I'm talking smack. I was not talking smack. I was very, very quiet. That's really bad for whomever is making me silent.

I don't fuck around.

But when my baby sister brought me out of the darkness and back into light, I changed my indignant tone to a more manipulative, pity-inducing plea and it worked. I got the answer I couldn't see, which no one (and I was asking everyone) would even give me a clue about. A manager awkwardly told me I was "overqualified" and within one second, I understood more than Mike has understood in 31 years of failing at life.

In disgust, I raced home and 'revised' my resume, tearing out like 40-50 pages of moronic crap like this shit below. I lied in ludicrously obvious but 'harmless' or innocuous spots, when rewriting my CV. I was suddenly "in the military, for awhile" rather than a RAAF Intelligence Officer & an ADFA graduate with non-stop Commandant commendations for military / academic performance, etc. I was vague about the reasons for leaving every job I'd left job except for the jobs which I didn't disclose. I left huge gaps in my employment history; inexplicable & unexplained periods of time just left...blank (of course I was working multiple jobs simultaneously the entire time, because I'm literally the polar opposite of Mike). I tore out all the stuff Society says should be in a resume (it's a bit like when your mother screwed your chances with girls, for life; by being a filthy creep who wanted you to be a sleaze because she only went for the 'bad' boys and that didn't pan out too well for her).

40-50 pages of shit like this was removed.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-9f6HvLXBSMY/T_9HwYAJkzI/AAAAAAAABJc/IKOMaP6quiY/s649/IMAG0177.jpg

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-bjn_dWq4IrU/UCIEheieosI/AAAAAAAABX4/WmIHVfYIiDU/s650/photo.jpg

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-5js-DD-O9IY/T_8-SuFSuVI/AAAAAAAABYI/LLXJQ48klfY/s649/IMAG0171.jpg

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-7LLwmoz4rE8/T_8-nZSdmxI/AAAAAAAABYM/U5S4z0PVz18/s649/IMAG0173.jpg

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-pqgd9zK1cfs/T_8_SFjvZuI/AAAAAAAABYQ/aPWJhWispa0/s649/IMAG0174.jpg

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-_2U3gZQBs8s/T_8_pakvuxI/AAAAAAAABYU/qIZmhtEY6Hc/s680/IMAG0175.jpg

It was one of the most brilliant things I've ever done. I was hopelessly lost. Shrewd imbeciles and their coy refusal to disclose motive were driving me insane. I was racing towards darkness and I was going to lose (of course - because you cannot win exploiting the imbeciles of this world) but Society and their imbeciles were going to get destroyed in ways that would make a lot of imbeciles imagine I was a Winner.

A lot of bodies were going to hit the ground. But it only took one word of semi-truth, and I understood what I was doing 'wrong'. One word which every shrewd creep was too embarrassed to admit. In this demented world, no one understands the importance of motive and the fundamental requirement to disclose yours, when prompted to do so.

One word; and so many lives were saved. I was overqualified. I immediately understood. I make this point because I've been lied to for 30 years. I was told Truth on so few occasions, I could literally list almost every single one of the 20 or so instances where someone went against the grain, in 30 years of being told tens of thousands of lies. You morons are not shrewd, is my point. Society dodged a bullet, in my example. But there are far brighter minds than mine who fall over the edge into darkness.

That's...really bad news for you shrewd imbeciles. But suck shit. You all deserve your slavery. You've been fucked in ways I only begin to comprehend and in ways most of us will never comprehend. How can you comprehend what brighter minds than yours do not comprehend for you?

80 failed interviews, no reason given for my 'unsuitability' for the position. Then one word of semi-truth. And the next two interviews?

"You're hired."

and...

"Here's a white shirt. You're on the clock. Go."

I kid you not. You understand why, of course? I did.

I was suddenly no longer 'overqualified'. I no longer represented a threat to the incompetent middle / junior management recruiters. When Power is especially powerful, it does shit like this. Well, on a scale of 1 billion to my 1; but then of course you realise I'm talking about the Vatican. None of you understand how Power 'works'. It's horrifying when McGee (one of the finest minds of his generation) cannot - get - how Power 'works'. I almost noosed in horror reading McGee and Gambowl get concerned about peons competing to be Power's figurehead. It doesn't matter whether Romney wears underpants on his head or imagines he's the Easter Bunny. You have heard of Dubya Bush, yes?

Power runs the world. Only imbeciles focus on Identity Politics. You're as dumb as the Burmese who imagine they need DASSK to free them. I'm as dumb as the Burmese junta who manufactured her iconic status. We're all dumb.

Power might be the dumbest of us all. How unlucky for us all.

c) I paid off a $50,000 'loan' (credit card overdrafts & unsecured personal cash advances) kindly lent to me by shrewd military credit unions who were trying to compete in a financial world of illusionary derivatives (i.e. irrational insanity). Insane bubbles, albeit brilliantly manufactured by the major financial institutions of the globe. One of the cutest tricks they pulled off was their purely intentional inflationary 'insanity'. Hey, we all make mistakes right? Chortle.

You do. They do, but then not in the way you or they realise. They're brilliant, albeit emotionally insane. They fuck you over as easily as Mike could rape a "woman child". That's the beauty of unregulated markets (hurrah for Capitalism, and the Invisible Hand which guides you towards Insults). It was a classic Christian Hijack which allowed governments to 'decide' the banks (who, you must understand, have ALL the money) could not be allowed to 'fail' (hah). You understand? The largest financial institutions in the world were ostensibly bankrupt; just ask them. Who knows where the money went? It's all illusionary hahah.

But you bought it. I listen to shrewd newspaper readers who imagine they have a clue, and sneer at those who are offended by the common-sense insult that is the giving of money away to Terrorists who have all the money and created the problem in the first place. Citibank and Morgan Stanley, Incorporated..they must be given money for free to SAVE them from bankruptcy. Hah.

Look slaves, it makes perfect sense. Just don't over-'think' it.
______

But back to my suffering from being a sucker guppy in a world of killer sharks. The interest I was being charged (11% to 16% compounded & calculated daily) for the 'privilege' of those unsecured cash advances were ruining me. But I don't declare bankruptcy; it's simply not in my character. I'm not proud of this. It's a handicap which was conditioned into me, unfortunately.

Unfortunately, I have dignity in an undignified world. I have decency in the most indecent world imaginable. I have honour in the most dishonourable den of filthy back-stabbing thieves imaginable. This is a bad beat story, I'm telling you right now. I had work ethic which was merely the product of 14 years of CoG conditioning. No one makes child slaves 'better' than that cult. They're the best in the fucking world at what they do. And what they do is what everyone in the entire world is doing.

It's quite impressive really. You have to RESPECT their optimality. You know, if you were Mike and into things like R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Whenever someone says "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", it would terrify them if they truly know how closely they skip along a very dangerous line; one I wouldn't personally want to skip along. I am all about Truth, but I'm torn when people whip out that cliche. I get conflicted.

Do I chop their limb/s off to teach them the Truth?

Or do I just kill them to show them the Truth they're failing to appreciate?

Dilemmas. I'm no good at those kinds of decisions, so (historically) I've just allowed them to continue spewing their imbecilic insanity and homespun 'wisdom'. I'm embarrassed about this. I'm in the process of working to remedy these personality flaws of mine. They preclude my capacity to be humane.

What doesn't kill you will not make you stronger. It will damage you, at worst. At best, it will kill you. There is no other possible result; but gosh! Isn't it just peachy to feel otherwise?

No. Much like dreams, 'white' lies and all 'sweet' deceit conducted for ostensibly conflict-avoiding 'reasons'; it is not peachy to preach or buy the insanity preached at you.

But because I was trying to be the Atlas holding up a small world of Mike-like leeches, I worked 18 hr days for 8 months until I was no longer in debt. I have never been in debt since. I have never not paid a debt owed in my life. I am presently owed hundreds of thousands of dollars, maybe half a million. I don't care that much, because money isn't the root of all evil.

90-95% tops. Not all evil. Money is what formerly good people (until they got their dreams) miserly hoard in order to create misery. They control Supply. They need you to Demand what they've been scammed into sacrificing their life in pursuit of. So they hoard to create misery and suffering. This creates miserable and insufferable humans out of children who only ever wanted to have fun but were prevented from having fun by this world of miserable wretches like Mike. And miserable winners at the other end of the scale to Mike. My point being, everyone is miserable and lying about it.

Perfectly sane children are brainwashed and conditioned to be obsessed with "greed" and taking 'advantage'. They're starved of "fun" and "happiness" to manufacture this obsession. It's all very sweet, and great for industry / commerce (not really though, because our consumption-obsessed Societies are not sustainable). But the real joke is on anyone who sacrifices their life in pursuit of money believing it will bring them happiness. All it will bring you (if you're the polar opposite of Mike, and not a filthy insane dysfunctional and lazy leech) is screams / misery. Sure, if you're Bob and somehow immune to screams, it can buy you haberdashery, bricabrac and various hobby materials / supplies and maybe even happiness, I guess - but then you're not Bob, so I wouldn't bet your life on it if I were you. You see, I did that once.

I won.

This was very unfortunate.

d) I lived on 2-3 hrs sleep a night for almost a year. I was working 18 hr days, and I'd lost my license for compulsive speeding the government could prevent for 50 cents per vehicle but that's bad for commerce. Your misery and suffering and deaths are good for commerce. Mike is more 'valuable' to the government than I am. There's an outside chance that freak will breed. If he rapes a "woman child", the Religious Right will want to kill anyone who dares to terminate that child's carrying the abortive result to full term. You should not be so confused about their motive. It's very sweet, really.

The government literally loves it when people like this breed.

http://media.nj.com/ledgerupdates_impact/photo/10943553-large.jpg

Fuck genetics. I have every 'reason' to imagine I should, but I will not bring slaves into this world of miserable sociopaths who feed on the defenceless because they're so god damn shrewd.

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-899cwn68d7Y/UCIWm-MQcmI/AAAAAAAABYs/MR6L1OQA1P8/s497/passporte.jpg

21,000 human children die every day. It's literally insane to imagine your genetics combined with your romantic interest/s are better than 8 million children who belong to Humanity but die in misery because you don't understand they have value.

I am worth less than nothing to a government or a religion. I am the polar opposite of Mike. He is perceived to be incredibly valuable by governments and religions. My value to those creeps is stupendously negative.

Yes. This is a shameless brag.

But 18 hours days and no license = 2-3 hours sleep per night because cycling from minimum wage job to below minimum wage (but cash in hand) job leaves 2-3 hrs for sleep. I did this for a year. My point is that I was very invested in my dream (to be a barrister who works for the defenceless in ways the incompetent also-rans who cannot get a job working for a 'respectable' law firm are incapable of doing, in their 'capacity' as government-'funded' jokes in the employ of Legal 'Aid').

e) I endured fuckloads of other shit (but this is getting too long). Shit like paying Chris Nyst (Pauline Hanson's barrister) 5 figures to represent my idiotic younger brother who knew better than me and ignored my strict orders not to get involved in my older brother's insane War against his ex-wife. After a decade of bitter Family Law hearings, where magistrates flip-flopped back and forth (and if you feel that is incidental, you are a fucking moron who knows nothing about the concept of conflict-of-interest) for a decade before things got violent. My 'little' brother is a very big man with a very small mind, and he knows everything so he never listens to reason. Ka-ching for barristers like Nyst and the legal 'system'; he was Guilty of course. Charged with Aggravated Assault by police who lose their faith in the 'system' within a year or two of realising the sick rigg, the trial went for two years. It should have been thrown out of court during the preliminary hearing. Yes, he was Guilty. Of course he was Guilty. But the police had no evidence, and they never pretended to have any. That's why the trial went for two years before a judge got tired and threw the case out (two years after Chris Nyst said "Zero % chance of conviction, so that means they're going to drag it through for 6 months or more."

I said something like "What? That makes no sense."

And Christ Nyst looked at me and blinked once, then twice and just kept on speaking. It's possible I've never felt as stupid as that moment. It was something like how I felt when this single mom I was sleeping with explained what "love" was to me, before I left her because she had a job to do and she wasn't doing it because of me.

He's pretty sharp, that Nyst guy. He knows the score. I know some of the score now, as well. You can know the score too. I've connected the dots for you.

That's really kind of my point, you know? You would know, if you knew the score. If everyone connected all the dots for everyone, we would all know the score. We would know more than we knew 3000 years ago. You know how far the human race has come in the last 100 years? Do you know how far we'd have gone in 3500 if the children of the Chosen Dead didn't kill all the Sane people who couldn't see their sociopathic violence and bloodlust coming?

How could you know? You know nothing. No one does. That's why I'm one of the smartest people alive. I know nothing.

That's my proof. It's called "logic". You are probably unfamiliar with the concept. But then of course, it's so hard to explain something to someone who already knows everything there is to know about Knowledge. What is left to teach them, when they already know how to do everything except stop being a miserable slave?

Mike knows everything. All his rhetoric about learning etc is called "lying". He's a lot like my mother, but she's not as demented of course. Mike never fooled me. My mother owned my fucking face with her lies and crocodile tears. I literally believed she regretted being the most evil beast alive.

Hah. She already knows everything. She was just fighting fire with fire. I threatened her, pulled off a bluff. She killed those I care about.

She didn't win. She just wanted me to lose. That's how Christians 'win'.
_________

Anyway, I spent 3 years of back-breaking slavery getting myself back on track after the RAAF contingent of the Coalition of the Willing got frightened about my subtle threats to get more vocal about the media ignoring French Intelligence and going with Dubya's FREEDOM Fries rhetoric instead.

3 weeks into Law, I was pulled out and told a story I never doubted the veracity of until this year. It should be easy to verify but my mind is an amazing fascination. I'm bright but sometimes, I'm so 'bright' I cannot find what I'm looking for because I'm afraid I won't like the answer. Your mind is very similar, by the way.

But I cannot keep breaking perfectly good LCD screens. So I need someone to find out if, in the 2005/2006 Australian Federal Budget, the graduate component of HECS was discontinued. This should be the simplest thing in the world to Google. I'm two perfectly serviceable LCD screens short, having gone nowhere. I have a feeling I know what that means.

The entire story sold to me seems implausible, really. Very few kids have (or have families in the position to spend) $100,000 for a graduate degree; but there are a great many children doing graduate degrees in Australia.

IT JUST DOESN'T ADD UP.

But the implications of it not adding up are...unfathomable. I cannot comment or speculate further until I can find out if this seemingly ludicrous story I accepted without the slightest cause or reason to doubt, is even true.

If it is not...

Hmm.

It would seem I am incapable of investigating this inexplicable peculiarity without smashing LCD screens in frustration. Kindly assist me with this easy Google effort before you tender your unnecessary, unsolicited and sub-sane 'advice', ostensibly for 'my' benefit; if you please.

You don't want to fuck around with your 'pity'. Get your emotional degradation away from me; I'm through with asking. I'm telling you I'm getting more and more humane every day. I could kill you and feel nothing; or at least, this is the goal.

I'm going to kill some Christian Compassionate creeps.

No offence to any creeps offended by the association.

[Bobby Wong]

Following the 2005/2006 reforms, post-graduate study became ineligible for HECS funding. However, the very similar FEE-HELP program was introduced at that time, and you would almost certainly have qualified for it. I find it unlikely that your university didn't have a student aid advisor who could have helped you with this at the time, and I frankly don't believe that the story of your expulsion is complete or factual.

[gay sex]

OY SOUNDS LIKE THEM COOZES WAS HOT TO TROT GOVNA

[gay sex]

ive been calling hendo a coozewagon lately and i really like it

[SkyNigger]

Following the 2005/2006 reforms, post-graduate study became ineligible for HECS funding. However, the very similar FEE-HELP program was introduced at that time, and you would almost certainly have qualified for it. I find it unlikely that your university didn't have a student aid advisor who could have helped you with this at the time, and I frankly don't believe that the story of your expulsion is complete or factual.

Just saw this now. Thanks!

Story is as complete and factual as I can manage, from my end. A great deal of the rambling above was theoretically intended to convey how monumental an effort it was to pick up the pieces of a 'conscientiously'-terminated career (thanks 9/11!) which, with no corresponding vocation in the civilian world, was effectively a 4 or 5-year wash. I also had $50,000 in unsecured loans subject to nearly credit card-grotesque compounding interest rates, so it was brutal to re-piece my life back together...again.

I successfully did that, albeit not without incurring monuental mental (and physical) trauma. I start school and I'm expelled in ludicrous circumstances and they're saying I need ~$ 6 figures for tuition. And I cracked. Another 3 or 4-year writeoff. I was broken, damaged goods. Unserviceable.

And for the first time in nearly a quarter of a century of determined struggling, I stopped. I gave up. I just forgot to do what needs to be done, after giving up.
_____________

If it sounds like I'm making excuses, it's because I am. I did a lot of fucked-up shit in the next few years, including harvesting a mil or two via the exploitation of religious disparities; but none of it was who I was. I don't bully those who cannot protect themselves; on poker tables or otherwise. And yet I did.

I don't leech. And yet I did.
_____________

Well it's a relief they weren't lying. Just incompetent. It would have been many months too late for whatever the hell FEE-HELP is; even if they had mentioned it (which no one did, because I stubbornly deferred in petulance - I didn't believe there was a 1% chance of amassing that kind of fortune in a calendar year but I remember the guilt and feeling creepy start of 2007 when I did have the money but the fire had flickered out). It would have been the same result if they had mentioned FEE-HELP for the next round; I'd have had to defer and get a job for a year, and I had nothing left in the tank. I'd been working too hard for too long on minumum wage. I was slaved out.

UQ's reaction makes sense. I don't really do 'advice' from student advisors; but it's not really like that - or it wasn't at UQ. The government pays them upfront. Students deal with the government and I had to sort out eligibility with Centrelink (welfare shopfront) as part of the application process. It was Centrelink that fucked up, they processed and approved the wrong paperwork. UQ were merely brutally cold and disinterested. They're not giving away shit for free (ahem @ the UQ Bookstore's idea of student 'discounts' - I'd just burned thousands on textbooks for the first year at prices which were scandalous) and I was taking up a fee-paying slot in that juris doctor program. Yeah UQ's behaviour makes a lot more sense now; they'd have been very unimpressed.

Thanks for finding that info for me. Whenever I'd try, I'd become dysfunctional with seething fury.

That's that, I suppose. Life is life, etc.

Mine was a pretty good effort, really; and top top second effort. And a decent but faltering third effort. Ultimately, all in vain but then you only live once and then you die. Makes no sense to fuck spiders whilst the fuel is there to burn. It's what it's there for. But when it's gone, it's gone. In early 2006, I was on Empty. I'd been running below E for awile. Should have done the decent thing, of course. Strangely, the option never crossed my mind and no Truth / Obvious speakers to point it out. Of course this is all retarded mitigating bullshit. There's no justification for what I did, in reality. I paid the price.

There's really no excuse for exploiting 'disparity'.

You can't exactly rationalise being a filthy leech.

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

now i know why 408wordsMike throws up these massive walls of text

he learned it from you scuter

HE LEARNED IT FROM YOU

http://static2.fjcdn.com/comments/I+_1c7c98281e3415e4840de06408c51ddb.jpg

[SkyNigger]

http://i.imgur.com/xYSrO.jpg

[SkyNigger]

he learned it from you scuter

HE LEARNED IT FROM YOU

Impossible.

That demented Toddler already knows all of Knowledge.

http://i.imgur.com/u0Dzz.jpg

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

Impossible.

That demented Toddler already knows all of Knowledge.

http://i.imgur.com/u0Dzz.jpg

he's copping your style cause he has a crush on you

please share the pm's where he asks you to check the box yes or no if you like him

[SkyNigger]

he's copping your style cause he has a crush on you

please share the pm's where he asks you to check the box yes or no if you like him

rofl I must have missed that one but my Public PM genius decade-late move was triggered by his noose.

Meanwhile, just outside my hotel...

http://i.imgur.com/iW7sj.png

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

rofl I must have missed that one but my Public PM genius decade-late move was triggered by his noose.

Meanwhile, just outside my hotel...

http://i.imgur.com/iW7sj.png

i spent at least 60 seconds trying to come up with a lady boy joke

I GOT NOTHING

[DankBlaniels]

fuck scooter thats not looking to clever but on the plus side you hardly ever leave your hotel anyways so are well prepared for having to stay indoors. what part of bkk is this i thought last time the floods were locaded in the outer suburbs.

[SkyNigger]

fuck scooter thats not looking to clever but on the plus side you hardly ever leave your hotel anyways so are well prepared for having to stay indoors. what part of bkk is this i thought last time the floods were locaded in the outer suburbs.

rofl no Bkk is flooded every year. It only becomes a "flood" when the deluge hits the inner city and the sand banks go up. The city is sinking but it won't be fixed because "democracy" isn't a functional political system. They'll just blame everyone and get 'surprised' annually.

This is Sukhumvit.

[nextlevelshit]

Did the school never try and contact you via other means ? They went straight to the school police/escort? It makes it sound like you had put up a fight in some capacity. (And no, not talking about physical.) For being such a smart guy, why would you put 3 McDonalds awards on your resume? Thats kinda bizarre. I mean, I suppose it shows you did a great job even as the bottom.. but it is also kinda kooky, don't you think?

Anyway, I read it. Keep up the good hard tweeked work. BTW, those writing workshops. I think they're kinda lame. I enrolled in one... It is full of wannabe writers who for the most part spit out lame tripe. You might find a couple decent writers who write a tale worth reading.. but mostly NOT. I would imagine by now there are websites aimed at the same thing.. with likely better writers.

[SkyNigger]

Did the school never try and contact you via other means ? They went straight to the school police/escort? It makes it sound like you had put up a fight in some capacity.

Security guard. Contracted from one of those huge human services training & job placement companies, no doubt; of the sort where you pay a nominal fee if you're an unemployable joke, they give you the bare minumum token training and then endeavour to pimp you out as a .

I may have ignored invoices which may have been requests / demands for payment, now that I recall; and there were some technical issues with some student xxx@uq.edu.au email accounts (which were in no way isolated to my account but I remember being tilted because I was prevented from logging in to change some morning classes to evening). The invoices (if indeed, that's what they were) = nonsensical. I might have imagined they were a CC or FYI sort of thing; I can't really remember specific details, I only remember emotions and I remember dismissing them (correctly) as being not requsite of my attention.

This isn't an error. The way high achievers acheive is by prioritising, and that is only possible in a functional environment. Not that it would have mattered one iota, but you can't very well waste time chasing up everything that seems peculiar. I was commencing Masters Law at a prestigious university; [I]everything seemed peculiar. It's a 70-80 hr / week degree; I just moved to a new city. A girl I'd loved for a year and a half was sleeping over. I kind of had a lot on my plate.
__________

Yesterday, I was wasting some time trying to gauge the degree of misfortune when the realisation hit me that I might have had my own OCD robotic functionality to 'blame'. When I'm functioning, I don't fucking dabble in (what I now know to be Catholic) insanity like procrastination. Because it's batshit insane. If something requires doing, it is provably insane to stall on doing it. There are no pros; just a fuckload of cons and the reason it's important to talk / think about is that it's a hallmark of slaves (i.e. humans being forced or coereced into doing something they don't want to do and which they don't believe is in their best interests, or no longer care).

If you no longer care about your own interests, then you are insane. You will have what they call a conflict-of-interest, because why are you alive.

But it's entirely plausible and perhaps even likely that I was the first person processed after the bullshit beaureacratic legislatory changes; either for QLD or for UQ or perhaps merely for Fortitude Valley Centrelink. And in this world of imbeciles / slaves who don't like their jobs, how else are they going to learn of such things? With Post-It Note reminders? Lotus Notes labels / flags?

You'd be kidding yourself if you believed otherwise. Almost certainly, this was some forgotten memo's 'work' and my functionality paid the 'price' for my perception being at odds with my Reality. And it certainly would not have been the first time. The early bird doesn't get the worm if the worm keeps hitting Snooze on the alarm because he or she is a Toddler who just doesn't want to go to work today OKAY!?

It's not that I even lost anything, really. I'd have just discovered the dark Truth about Law a lot sooner, and saved a great many people from suffering at my hands. They would almost certainly have sufferred at the hands of someone else, but that's not the point. I only care about me. That's tantamount to asserting that I care about the best interests of everyone (only imbeciles who have been confused about optimality wouldn't understand). So what I'm really saying is that I only obsess over what I can control. My only concern is me. And this negates one of the most common 'rationalisations' / logical fails made by humans who fail to act in their own and in Humanity's best interests; "if I don't do it, someone else will".

For being such a smart guy, why would you put 3 McDonalds awards on your resume? Thats kinda bizarre. I mean, I suppose it shows you did a great job even as the bottom..

The bottom is what I was applying for and being rejected from pursuing by shrewd managers who neither wish to compete nor do they want to be competitive, so they hire imbeciles who'll make them look bad instead.

I didn't say they were geniuses; and this is my entire beef with this vermin species reduced to insanity. All the 'shrewd' is batshit insane more often than not. It's Toddlers snickering because they know everything, snivelling at the more competent for being more 'fortunate' or sneering at those who play the game the brown-nosing rats are obsessed with playing (Toddlers hate getting out-played; this happens with love all the time) and, of course, screaming when they inevitably do get outplayed or face-plant on their own steam (like Mike - no one is outplaying that guy, his errors are truly unforced).

Of the four, screaming is the only one that can send a healthy mind insane. If you're affected by the other 3, it's too late.

BTW, those writing workshops. I think they're kinda lame. I enrolled in one... It is full of wannabe writers who for the most part spit out lame tripe. You might find a couple decent writers who write a tale worth reading.. but mostly NOT.

Yeah I've undertaken coursework before. Until this world understands why those who can do will do rather than teach (until teaching rewards at commensurate or better rates than doing), teachers who can do will be at a premium so rare their existence will be all but negligible.

That is not to say they have nothing I can learn from them; I obviously cannot write at all. I merely (occasionally) have impossibly valuable things to say. They can write without capacity to write anything either of importance or commercial value. They can teach me things I can probably learn more optimally from a textbook or w/e.

I don't always have anything worth saying. Sometimes my "incapacity" (which includes a high degree of apathy because I'm not limited via restricted...anything, except motivation) morphs with an emotional state like Contempt, Despair, Trauma, Bitterness etc etc (simultaneously); and then you get noose which isn't actually supposed to be posted - but after a certain amount of sleep deprivation, it's all "in the Hands of the Lord". Inshallah.

There is a great deal I could learn from those who cannot do but I could learn it elsewhere, if I believed there was a point. The point is I do not. There are those saying it better and being ignored; like David Cornwell.

And I will not be enduring the imbecilic 'criticisms' of a mind that lacks the capacity for critical thought. They will confuse me with someone who has a problem with criticism, and I'm choc-a-bloc full to capacity on skin-crawling, creepy irony. Eww. There's nothing as lame as an insane person imagining your dismissal of their insanity = you're insane.

[DankBlaniels]

rofl no Bkk is flooded every year. It only becomes a "flood" when the deluge hits the inner city and the sand banks go up. The city is sinking but it won't be fixed because "democracy" isn't a functional political system. They'll just blame everyone and get 'surprised' annually.

This is Sukhumvit.

sukhumvit road shit thats pretty hectic alright if you can be bothered to take some more pics would be keen to take a look. how long you expect this to go on for ? think its going to get any worse ? i was almost in a flood once a couple of years ago it looked like lake wakatipu in queenstown was gonna flood, but then it didnt. are you stuck in the hotel ?

[DankBlaniels]

sorry just remembered you are australian so to translate my rep i am suggesting you go buy some gum boots

[DankBlaniels]

also guess which song is now number one in liverpool ? on the plus side now you are stuck in your hotel at least you wont have to hear it everywhere you go.

[nextlevelshit]

Yeah I've undertaken coursework before. Until this world understands why those who can do will do rather than teach (until teaching rewards at commensurate or better rates than doing), teachers who can do will be at a premium so rare their existence will be all but negligible.


Workshops are different. In theory you laern just as much from your fellow students as they critique your writings. It was the only workshop I've ever taken. It is much like you posting on here for our feedback, but people are forced to do it as part of the class. Much different than relying on strictly the opinion on a sole teacher.