PDA

View Full Version : Can I get an expert in here ***ADVICE NEEDED***STAT***


sʇןɐs ɥʇɐq ɥsıʞɹnʇ
09-16-2012, 08:12 PM
Ok here's the scene, while dropping logs I feel the last one giving some resistance, I am not sure what to make of it, so I squeeze my sphincter extra hard and feel what I think at the time is the top of the turd effectively being severed from the main body.

I then sit on the toilet (this just happened btw, like literally just happened) for about 10 minutes in an atempt to dislodge the rest of the turd from whatever is holding it up inside my bowels trying everything from insanity sauce squeezes to jilted lover waves of squeezing followed by relaxing the muslces, but ultimately I give up to run down and sell a saw.

In the toilet I noticed the last piece was actually fairly even in tone and shape and it's size is really consistent with the pieces in it's immediate vicinity.

So the question posed- is there a turtle head buried up inside my rectum right now or is that a ghost turtle I'm feeling?

$$$Bonus$$$
When I stood up, immediately I noticed the feeling of pressure dissipate from my lower regions.

Suicide King
09-16-2012, 08:18 PM
:noose

sʇןɐs ɥʇɐq ɥsıʞɹnʇ
09-16-2012, 08:30 PM
Fascinating. As I seem to have literally nothing else to do right now, nothing to think about or listen to, I think it best I devote literally the rest of the afternoon to internal discovery. What kind of light can I get up in there do you think? I'm considering taping a small bulb to a bic lighter and wrapping it in saran wrap what's your take?

tony bаgadonuts
09-16-2012, 08:33 PM
:noose

sʇןɐs ɥʇɐq ɥsıʞɹnʇ
09-16-2012, 08:51 PM
OK I just realized I am out of astroglide can anyone recommend a suitable replacement?

Will jello work in a pinch?