your absurd christmas present

[rum dick]

almost everyone gets one. sound off on what yours was this year.

i'll go first - a william henry "one of a kind" knife (tine probably knows about these). basically it is a garish handmade pocket knife that comes in a nice wood box. very cool looking and all but i'm not a french aristocrat and it is about useless for self-defense and the perfect size to lose if carried around so basically i got 6"x3" less desk space for christmas.

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

almost everyone gets one. sound off on what yours was this year.

i'll go first - a william henry "one of a kind" knife (tine probably knows about these). basically it is a garish handmade pocket knife that comes in a nice wood box. very cool looking and all but i'm not a french aristocrat and it is about useless for self-defense and the perfect size to lose if carried around so basically i got 6"x3" less desk space for christmas.

sell it on ebay

if the person who gave it to you asks, it was the perfect size to lose so you lost it

[gay sex]

green tommy bahama tie preeeeeeeeeeeeeeety sure my aunt hates me

[gay sex]

or hates decent taste BABOOOOOOOOM BITCH ill tell her about that burn in the thank you note that im never gonna write

[rum dick]

i got a turd brown tommy bahama shirt...yah because nothing says the tropics like a shit shirt. the kindle fire hd and the awesome gifts i gave other people saved christmas but it was still a close call.

[rum dick]

sell it on ebay

if the person who gave it to you asks, it was the perfect size to lose so you lost it

sounds like something an immoral thief would say. taking it under advisement regardless

[limitles]

almost everyone gets one. sound off on what yours was this year.

i'll go first - a william henry "one of a kind" knife (tine probably knows about these). basically it is a garish handmade pocket knife that comes in a nice wood box. very cool looking and all but i'm not a french aristocrat and it is about useless for self-defense and the perfect size to lose if carried around so basically i got 6"x3" less desk space for christmas.

Duct tape that baby to the end of your assault rifle and you'll be the talk of the projects.

[rum dick]

oh and i almost had to brain a german shepard that charged me on the golf course. was playing night golf and apparently "rio" dug a hole under his fence and decided to go for a stroll. guess he didnt like the slice i hit in his direction because he came running up and snarling in my grill. had a five iron in one hand and a coors light in the other. we came to and understanding before anyone got hurt. once he calmed down he was a decent enough dog. even shared some of my beer with him while we waited for his owner.

[rum dick]

sorry les...left my assault rifle in texas. all i have with me are some shotguns and a few pistols.

[rum dick]

also willie and les lets try to stay on topic here....what absurd gifts did you get this year?

[gay sex]

ahem in civilized society we call that twilight golf david

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

a shirt that said 'the hardest part about a zombie apocalypse is pretending you are not excited"

that was two sizes too small

[gay sex]

photo evidence now william

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

http://i.imgur.com/8uIc6.jpg

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

is white castle open today?

i need answers

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

and Lipitor

[Bobby Wong]

willies mom got a mink stole

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

seriously, i think my brother meant to give that to his son but just went with it

[rum dick]

willie and gare would get eaten five minute into the zombie apocalypse. bobs life would stay about the same.

[Bobby Wong]

True story I gave my sister and her boyfriend his and hers machetes for zombie preparedness

[rum dick]

gare twilight golf is the time between one and half to two hours prior to sunset and just after sunset. night golf is golf played well after sunset with LED golf balls on a regular golf course (not a night time course with stadium lights like verdugo hills). i know youre on your umpteenth jug of scotch but do try and keep up.

[gay sex]

rofl how dare you bring verdugo hills into this literally learned to play golf there when i was 9 and they still make maybe the most underrated burger in all of los angeles

[gay sex]

also im changing my vote from the tie to pumpkin butter i didnt even know i got this

[Bobby Wong]

seriously, twilight golf is something the woateles clan enjoys because the green fees are discounted and all the caddies have gone home so nobody will piss on your door handle when you carry your own bags

[Bobby Wong]

whereas night golf typically involves drunkenness and whores

[gay sex]

pumpkin butter innnnnnnnn the hizzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaay https://twitter.com/realneverstop/status/283793747026780160/photo/1

[Bobby Wong]

Lol, I've taken the road trip out to intercourse pa many times, it's right down the road from blue ball

[gay sex]

i find that disturbing

[USC]

Shout out to verdugo hills! Played there a bit back in the day with my buddy and his little brothers.

Didn't get any absurd xmas gifts this year. Merry xmas to the skatz homies.

[gay sex]

oh look who straggles in the guy who has like 97 cousins but didnt eat a porkchop till he was 26


ur on notice bruh

[Bobby Wong]

if you've got a little sense of adventure you can take a ride down the Hershey highway on the way back

[gay sex]

too soon

[USC]

Pork chops suck gare.

[gay sex]

AVERT UR EYES BABY JESUS HE KNOWS NOT WHAT HE SAYS

[Bobby Wong]

I received a Belgian waffler and a velour bathrobe and 4 pounds of bacon from 3 separate people and I think it's about time to put all of those to use and I would totally post a pic of it but I don't think I really have any suitable toppings for Belgian waffles and I know gare would heap scorn upon me

[USC]

Mmm bacon

[nextlevelshit]

Someone gave me house shoes size 11. I can't fit in a size 11 shoe. WTF.

[Willie McAboutThatLife]

Someone gave me house shoes size 11. I can't fit in a size 11 shoe. WTF.

subtle

[rum dick]

More like honda shoes size 11

[boomroasted, bro]

I received a Belgian waffler and a velour bathrobe and 4 pounds of bacon from 3 separate people and I think it's about time to put all of those to use and I would totally post a pic of it but I don't think I really have any suitable toppings for Belgian waffles and I know gare would heap scorn upon me


UMM MORON, YOU GOT ALL THAT BACON.

[limitles]

Literally afraid to open this. Stocking stuffer, sadly wasn't meant as a joke.

What worries me most is the $1.25 Dollarama price tag is part of the packaging...not a sticker

And the past due date is 2018

http://i1112.photobucket.com/albums/k500/fatsiano/51094BB6-5370-4D3D-908B-6D1B8B33A0CE-5321-0000065FC6F30EEC.jpg

[sʇןɐs ɥʇɐq ɥsıʞɹnʇ]

The only thing I got for christmas was a $20 gift card to starbucks.

That's right, one gift just one shot from my family not to get me something terrible and that's the only thing they could come up with.

Anyone here wonder why I hate the world so much?

Didn't think so.

[rum dick]

Christmas is about giving not receiving you tard

[rum dick]

Literally afraid to open this. Stocking stuffer, sadly wasn't meant as a joke.

What worries me most is the $1.25 Dollarama price tag is part of the packaging...not a sticker

And the past due date is 2018

http://i1112.photobucket.com/albums/k500/fatsiano/51094BB6-5370-4D3D-908B-6D1B8B33A0CE-5321-0000065FC6F30EEC.jpg

Les you're gonna need to take one for the team and open it and report back.

[rum dick]

If you survive then an invite to IST awaits