JODY HILL: OFFICIAL SKATZ BLACK JESUS

[anatine]

also lol at how lindsey lohan "was totally professional and knew all her lines" for the finale.

[gay sex]

That was absurdly great, best final season for a comedy ever and maybe one of the top 5 finales of all time

[anatine]

Setting aside all hyperbole, the only comedy series finale I can imagine that pips it was The Larry Sanders Show.

[VaughnP]

You guys are really setting the bar high. I plan on watching it when I get home later, and wish I wouldn't have even opened this thread. Because if I'm thinking it's top 10 but not 5, I'm gonna be disappointed. Though none of us basically agree on anything besides good food and a general disdain for 408mike, I always trust you fags when it comes to humor.

[Steerpike]

there is no 'us' vaughn, it's time for you to stand on your own 2 feet and crutches for once

[Militant Quacks]

wow looks like pike and vaughn have broken up for good this time

[Steerpike]

look at James Willmott-Brown over here

[Militant Quacks]

over where ?

[gay sex]

Probably outside some terrified girls window

[VaughnP]

Pike just can't accept the fact that it's over.

[VaughnP]

And I still haven't had the chance to watch this. I somehow met a legitimate half Mexican half Polish girl I have been in too deep with the last two days - finally took her home. I mean like her grandparents came fresh off the Polack boat, I just can't get over it.

[VaughnP]

Literally eating pizza, french fries, tacos and some kind of weird mini jalapeno poppers. French fries and garlic butter sauce whatever the fuck is disgustingly good.

[anatine]

Homeland Season 1 really started to slide downhill.

Im already unimpressed with Season 2 and I havent started it yet.

Season 3 is making me furious and I barely know it exists.

[gay sex]

hope ur ready for a heaaaaaaalthy dose of dana big guy, cuz oh its coming

[anatine]

yeah i was shocked at how furious i was that dana survived the first season until i realized it was because i wanted him to die.

i just dont take it seriously any more.

also the tradecraft is ludicrous.

[gay sex]

not sure where we are on you calling dana a him bro

[anatine]

rofl i thought dana was the dad, which is a symptom of me finding him so profoundly irritating.

dana reminds me of maybe from arrested development. so there's that.

[gay sex]

oh sweet naive baby tine dana is about to aids all over ur life if you give this a chance, MULTIPLE STORY ARCS

[anatine]

really tho sorry about that i feel terrible.

[anatine]

also hows this for real talk, claire danes face is mucho fucking retarded.

[gay sex]

just know shes mad at her dad and shes not gonna take it anymore, its like late season dexter terrible writing, or vintage run hoser its on that tier

[gay sex]

im going the other way and i think danes has enough of a masculinity about her to kind of make the character work

[gay sex]

would have liked to see the brittney murphy snl spoof version god rest her soul

[gay sex]

the bottom line is the shows aids and were trying to justify our showtime subscriptions and theres really nothing we can do

[gay sex]

im making the call and cancelling and if i ever feel a twinge cuz of sho boxing, i will see what theyre doing on demand and chromecast it

[anatine]

OH DANA, EVER THE PRECOCIOUS MURDERER

[anatine]

hahaha im about 2-3 eps from closing out season 2 and either the writing is fucking terrible and obvious or the writing is even more terrible and obvious, depending on what type of "plot twist" they turn the stimied attack into.

[Hillbilly Jim]

And I still haven't had the chance to watch this. I somehow met a legitimate half Mexican half Polish girl I have been in too deep with the last two days - finally took her home. I mean like her grandparents came fresh off the Polack boat, I just can't get over it.

thats called a chicago special

[VaughnP]

This is a sad bump. One, a reminder that there will never be any new episodes, two, I'm pretty sure that girl died.

[Hillbilly Jim]

tequila and polish vodka is a deadly combination

[VaughnP]

This was a weird time for me.


About a year before this I had the craziest dinner of my life. It was a post pool party dinner for a friend's 21st birthday - a ridiculously attractive blonde girl. There were roughly 20 people that ended up at a nearby Cheddars, most of them intoxicated. It was a Saturday night. The birthday girl has a sister who was 18 or so at the time, so there were multiple underage drunk kids tagging along still. When we were finally seated, we waited over an hour, the staff didn't ID anyone.

So here I am sitting with a table full of drunk kids ordering drinks. We somehow ordered food, and in between the hour and a half it took to get served, people kept getting drunker, like to the point of puking at the table stupor drunk. Out of nowhere one girl who's sitting to my immediate left starts insulting another one sitting across the table for no reason, calling her everything she can think of in near incoherent slurred words, the other girl says something back, and boom it's on. Cat fight imminent. Each girl was from a different set of friends that didn't really know each other. She throws her drink at the girl across the table. Sitting to her immediate left is another girl from the opposing group, she says something to the chick that's going crazy, crazy girl stands up, and punches start flying and hair starts getting pulled. People from all around the tables get up to break it up. The guy sitting to my immediate right and I try to get out of the way, I get accidentally punched in the face by the crazy girl that started it as the guy to my rights wraps her up and pulls her away.

The punch did no damage. They get her to calm down pretty quickly, and somehow no one in the Cheddars that works there noticed what happened. The place was packed. A group of four guys that knew the crazy girl walk in. Two people already there rush the crazy girl outside, and literally at that moment the food arrives. There's still commotion but it settles down for a second as the food is being tabled by five different waiters. They obviously butchered the orders, no one wants to even eat it. Even before the fight no one cared about the food because of how long it had taken. The guys who had just showed up started talking shit to another group as soon as the wait staff walked away, some people attempt to eat their food, me being one of them, but apparently we're in for round 2. Roughly 5 minutes pass, a round of beers comes out, and food that was forgotten shows up. Words were exchanged between the two groups and suddenly food and drinks go flying. I get out of the way again, but the flying food has now turned to flying chairs. A few of the guys tried to rush each other, one of the tables pushed together gets flipped over and now plates are being thrown. We were in a separated area for large parties, but at this point 50+ people, including the entire staff are just standing there watching, the waiters are literally joining in on the WORLDSTAR! screams. It ends in a stand off with 5 dudes holding chairs as weapons. I remember a black guy from one side trying to use a sort of break dancing fighting style move to get close to the other side, but somehow no one got hurt. Those of us that were neutral just stood there appalled by what had just transpired. People are laughing, and the worst wait staff in history is asking if anyone got it on video. People are still yelling "PUT THAT SHIT ON WORLDSTAR". Everyone rushed out without paying but a few of us, myself included. No cops were called because of the whole serving minors thing. I had left a party at my close friends to attend all of this and was going back, so I actually requested a to go box. In the hour we were waiting to be seated I chatted up the hostess, a Jewish girl, and was talking with her about what just happened as I waited for the check. I've known her ever since.

The point of that story is the girl sitting to my immediate left who started everything died in a car crash not long before the post in this thread, the guy who stopped her sitting to my immediate right died in a car crash not long after the dinner. I've been close friends with multiple people who attended the dinner since childhood, including the birthday girl. This night is always brought up, especially because of the guy who passed away. I wasn't close to him, but many I know were. It freaks me out to think about it.

[Hillbilly Jim]

shout out to the brazilian breaking out capoeira on some honkeys

[VaughnP]

I couldn't remember how to spell it correctly, but that's what I was going to type.

[Hillbilly Jim]

wow look at this racist kickapoo acting like he doesnt know how to spell honkey

[VaughnP]

Thanks for totally ruining my night with this bump, Jim. Also, as for the half Polish chick, I only saw her once after that post. Not sure of the particulars, but some kind of accident.

https://i.ibb.co/gywZX5Z/birthday-dinner.png

[Hillbilly Jim]

vaughn aka red river rat (thats his kickapoo name) has ptsd yall