I have been shaving my balls for 10 years

[God Damn Wiggers]

FACT

[SkyNigger]

I have shaved my balls once and they were very presentable after. But it was far too much effort to ever consider repeating.

[blake]

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/8/obama_bump.jpg

[Vwls with one L dammit]

I prefer completely shaved, but it is a lot of work.

[gay sex]

i was gonna make a pm exchanging joke but i didnt have the energy

[blake]

would have probably been inappropriate

[USC]

when shaving the gooch area, be sure to stretch the skin so it is firm and shave in an east-west motion. that is my tip of the day.

[Vwls with one L dammit]

You boys have it rough in the skin stretching department. Balls.

[blake]

I have shaved my balls once and they were very presentable after. But it was far too much effort to ever consider repeating.

http://www.skatzpoker.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=6&pictureid=59

[gay sex]

rofl

[mama luigi]

first time i shaved my balls my mom barged in on me and queered the deal

[mama luigi]

so does anyone know how to repair a scrotum/

[Vwls with one L dammit]

Scotch tape and love?

[mama luigi]

im the hundreds of domains redirecting to sonatinepoker.comEaBL-esZHb8&=1

[mama luigi]

im the hundreds of domains redirecting to sonatinepoker.comEaBL-esZHb8&=1 and the fact autoplay doesnt work there and im also this post

[Statutory Ape]

i was gonna make a pm exchanging joke but i didnt have the energy

YOU DO KNOW HOW YOUR PM BOX WORKS

[Statutory Ape]

YA BUT

JdxNs4KfdDM

[SkyNigger]

so does anyone know how to repair a scrotum/

Whatever you do, don't go to church until you get it fixed.

Leviticus 21:20.

Leviticus 21 King James Version (KJV)

21 And the Lord said unto Moses, Speak unto the priests the sons of Aaron, and say unto them, There shall none be defiled for the dead among his people:
2 But for his kin, that is near unto him, that is, for his mother, and for his father, and for his son, and for his daughter, and for his brother.
3 And for his sister a virgin, that is nigh unto him, which hath had no husband; for her may he be defiled.
4 But he shall not defile himself, being a chief man among his people, to profane himself.
5 They shall not make baldness upon their head, neither shall they shave off the corner of their beard, nor make any cuttings in their flesh.
6 They shall be holy unto their God, and not profane the name of their God: for the offerings of the Lord made by fire, and the bread of their God, they do offer: therefore they shall be holy.
7 They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God.
8 Thou shalt sanctify him therefore; for he offereth the bread of thy God: he shall be holy unto thee: for I the Lord, which sanctify you, am holy.
9 And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire.
10 And he that is the high priest among his brethren, upon whose head the anointing oil was poured, and that is consecrated to put on the garments, shall not uncover his head, nor rend his clothes;
11 Neither shall he go in to any dead body, nor defile himself for his father, or for his mother;
12 Neither shall he go out of the sanctuary, nor profane the sanctuary of his God; for the crown of the anointing oil of his God is upon him: I am the Lord.
13 And he shall take a wife in her virginity.
14 A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife.
15 Neither shall he profane his seed among his people: for I the Lord do sanctify him.
16 And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,
17 Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
21 No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the Lord made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
22 He shall eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy, and of the holy.
23 Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the Lord do sanctify them.
24 And Moses told it unto Aaron, and to his sons, and unto all the children of Israel.


They printed 8 billion copies of this filth for children to read. Don't offend them.

[rum dick]

just trim and make them presentable folks

:this

[rum dick]

But seriously ive never understood why that mad monk rubbish was not edited out of the Bible. I mean if Leviticus isn't a propaganda cockblock I don't know what is. First time I read it I was seven years old and was like wait....what. by the time I got to Job the whole thing was ruined and I demanded a refund from God. Which im still waiting on. Btw - God, I'm not saying your untrustworthy or your credit is bad, but for, err, convenience's sake why don't you send that refund in the form of a cashiers check.

[Steerpike]

rofl quoting the bible now, how low can you go?

[SkyNigger]

But seriously ive never understood why that mad monk rubbish was not edited out of the Bible.

Not to take away from the blistering intelligence (where we stated the Obvious) of our younger and saner selves; but what I couldn't solve at seven I have solved (I am pretty certain, at least) at 29 / 30. Very brief period between drinks, where I almost noosed half a dozen times (on account of my winning).

They cannot redact because the Evil is not an uncomfortable by-product of the Lie (like that sick beat they had when the world turned out to be a sphere when God had imagined the geometry he created to be a little more flat than spherical); the Evil is the first five punches of their Mortal Kombat WINNING combo. They'll drill that combo so gratuitously, everyone will just end up screaming.

They cannot redact the Evil in the Bible because without the Evil and the Evil which morons (who think Jesus is wise when children out-think him all the time) believe is the Sweet, there wouldn't be any Bible left to swear on.

The first five books of insane screaming is the corruption of pure minds that couldn't ever imagine such evil on their own. They need to be introduced to it. With the warning not to do it, of course. Before they're capable of doing anything as insane as killing the father of what would have been a tasty niece to breed with.

But Cain wanted to breed with his mother.

I dunno, it's all kind of fucked up but in Cain's position I think I'd have been telling Abel some homespun Mills & Boon erotica, whilst simultaneously pointing out to Mom how he's looking more like Dad every day. Get him up on Mom. Come back for the child down the line? Or something. Probably, I'd just do a murder suicide cause... No species needs to survive that badly.

I think I've just realised Cain was a failed hero, actually. He just stumbled 1/4 way into heroism. Most of us don't even get that far.

Still, it's a great story to tell to children, don't you think? I asked my 'Mom'.

"Why? What's the lesson here?"

"Don't do it."

My Mom gave me that look that Mothers have when they know they've spawned a blemished one. It made perfect sense to her. What was she going to do with me. I'm probably lucky we didn't live near any flowing rivers.

[SkyNigger]

Actually scratch all that noose.

I just remembered I am supposed to be writing a brilliant story about Thailand. If I only had a...literary technique.

The OT's horror is the communication to vassals to get on the Winning Team, STAT.

HATE HATE KILL MURDER RAPE DESTROY SCREAM FIRE HATE

Then they turn to vassals and say "Hey guys which team yall on?"

Vassals fucking effectively crashed the planet in their reckless rushing to the Insane side of the spacecraft. They know God is insane. He's mysterious. But they're on His team. And together, they will obliterate you. hahah.

It's domestic terrorism campaigns. Much like 9/11 and every campaign every state has run, since Westphalia. Vassals respond to fear in predictable fashion. They follow ManU, don't they?

The Thai media were too terrified to report on it, but the WikiLeaks Cables paint the story pretty good. For a year prior to the May riots, the Red Shirts had been running riot through the Red Shirt heartland, which needed more heart. Cue destruction, beatings, insanity - mob violence on anyone or anything who even said "We need to do something about this. This is insanity."

They'd burn your house in front of you and throw you inside it if you had a problem with their opinion. They'd rape, viciously beat, kill a few here and there. But mostly they just burned, because fire...

Fire is cool. Vassals want to be on the Side of Fire. That's a Winning Team.

And I opened up my window on 18 May 2010 and I gasped. Fucking vassals. Universal amnesty. Troops assigned to protect them from angry reprisals from the fellow Thais they'd ruined and bankrupted. Bus companies commandeered to transport them all home in luxury.

Nah. They had a job to do. Snivelling little beasts. Fire is so fucking cool.

I opened the window believing it was over, but no. Bangkok was in flames.

http://www.xtremeteamonline.org/uploaded/dieselberg_bangkok_burning_5192010.300.jpg?1274365 905

[SkyNigger]

You have no idea how much you have to pay for meth when a Thai Army operating for 10 weeks on the strictest RoE the world has ever seen (if you just took the bloody beatings rather than fire in defence, you'd probably be safe; but no guarantees) finally had their restrictions lifted.

Abhisit called a nationwide curfew.

The Thai Army got their "Shoot to kill" orders.

I heard the shots ring out all night, but it was never going to be enough. I was worried it would be one too many. 20,000 that nigger squeezed out of me with his whiny emotional opportunistic extortion. He only had to dodge his way 8 clicks to my apartment. 20,000 baht on top? I fucking hate coercive monopolies.

Then he wouldn't leave for like two hours because he was scared. He wanted to camp out till the morning. What a pussy. I kicked him out but don't worry.

I was the mother of a tiny little boy on his first day of school. Helping him out with that fear of his.

I told him to be brave.

[rum dick]

Did he help himself to your stash during his two hours of cowering?

[SkyNigger]

Did he help himself to your stash during his two hours of cowering?

I offered but he was strangely focused. It was almost like he was already high on something.

Comments

Rum Dick:
you're the brave one, woulda been easier to say stay, but the kid never woulda learned about independence

This is so true. I had not realised I was leading by example. I will have to remember to correctly revision the history of that night of terror when I next relate the story of my heroic bravery.

[SkyNigger]

Do you concur with my theory though? Not the first one. The more correct, second one.

The OT's horror is the communication to vassals to get on the Winning Team, STAT.

HATE HATE KILL MURDER RAPE DESTROY SCREAM FIRE HATE

Then they turn to vassals and say "Hay guyz which team yall on?"

It's gotta be that, surely?

Whatever their reasoning is, it's pretty dark. Because not wanting to redact Numbers 31 and some of the Leviticus really opens up chinks in their armour one would fancy driving China through, but they're not even BUDGING an inch.

I really think I'm onto something with my Terror Campaign bullying / intimidation of vassals Theory.

[rum dick]

simpler times folks. simpler times.

[blake]

i miss vwls

[gay sex]

skatz poker where like half of our original posters are dead or chased off the internet by todge