The truth about Alien: Covenant

[anatine]

OK FEW thiNGS HERE SO BUCKLE UP

1) ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE MOVIE.

2) DANY MCBRIDE IN SPACE, UGGGGHHHHHHH

3) REALLLLLLLY BAD MOVIE. LIKE BAAAD. IT IS HARD TO IMAGINE THAT THEY SPENT YEARS AND I MEAN YEARS AND YEARS HASHING THIS FILM OUT.

[anatine]

THATS IT IM DONE

[blake]

i was literally about to rent that tonight. still might cause i tend to like awful things but now maybe john wick 2

[anatine]

its just... amateurish. its so fucking hamfisted and sloppy and obvious. none of the shocking twists and turns are shocking. the pacing is awful. the science is straight retarded.

and it answered virtually none of the big picture real questions they fired up in prometheus for example.

[blake]

i decided to just watch modern family reruns

[anatine]

youre playing pretty good. pretttty... pretty good....

[Militant Quacks]

promethius was good sad to hear this sucks

[blake]

defenders just came out on netflix, which i'll probably binge watch this weekend

[anatine]

promethius was good sad to hear this sucks



the problem with prometheus was bad science and terrible decisions, and covenant seemed to embrace that theme and multiply it by real honest to god stupidity.

[gauchojake]

Danny McBride in space is a solid point

[anatine]

also so we are clear the entire plot for the first 20 minutes of covenant literally makes absolutely no sense at all.

[anatine]

like in the other movies there was this very deliberate invisible hand guiding everyone and everything, eg the evil corporation making sure the ship 'stumbled' across a distress beacon in Alien, that sort of underpinning is entirely out the fucking window here.

[anatine]

god i hate covenant.

i so rarely feel this way but i genuinely wish id never watched it.

its literally 2 or 3 big money scenes that someone wanted to make with a shitty movie hastily slapped together to prop them up.

[anatine]

also the timeline is supposed to be

- Prometheus
- Covenant
- Alien

But without a movie between Covenant and Alien there is zero point zero logical continuity between Covenant's final scenes and Alien's opening scenes. Which is hilarious considering I hear Ridley Scott would chew off his own fingers before using them to direct another Alien film.

And to be clear its not like it was some giant monumental challenge to develop continuity between them, they just couldnt be assed to do so.

[Hillbilly Jim]

i thought the covenant was about a group of witches fighting a bear

[gauchojake]

I think I'll watch it tonight.

[anatine]

i thought the covenant was about a group of witches fighting a bear



bruh youre thinking of revenant

[Hillbilly Jim]

pretty sure i know what the word coven means bro

[gay sex]

I tried defenders episode one is so fucking boring it also feels weirdly cheap on the production front

[gay sex]

Well talk about Chang and modern family reruns and how just shameful that is at a later time

[gauchojake]

Skatz seems like the place to be for the latest in network television and movie rentals

[blake]

:dealwithit

[Hillbilly Jim]

Skatz seems like the place to be for the latest in network television and movie rentals
also the #3 cichlid discussion forum and #2 grinder discussion forum in the world

[anatine]

awful movie.

[gay sex]

It's too bad we lost the only talented Scott brother should have been u Ridley

[anatine]

The difference between Covenant and Resurrection is Resurrection accomplished the entire plot arc of Covenant in the first like 5 minutes of footage.

[blake]

I tried defenders episode one is so fucking boring it also feels weirdly cheap on the production front

Update: still have not watched alien covenant and defenders turned out to be pretty good

[anatine]

pivoting to Narcos in 3... 2...

[gay sex]

never finished sesaon 2 did 3 episodes of the new season and its good

[gay sex]

i take that back its great i basically love the clothes the cars the set design wayne knight bitching about not being able to smoke on planes so far so good

[anatine]

its not without its charms

[anatine]

http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/bg/Clare+De+Chenu+WLwgFxFpIbLm.jpg

shout out to wayne getting lap band and pulling some mid-tier ass.

[boomroasted, bro]

I BET SHE ENTERS THE BEDROOM NAKED AND SAYS "HELLO NEWMAN".

[Donald trump]

Covenant was terrible. I regret watching it.