thinking man's guide to the coronavirus

[Bobby Wong]

Pretty much only tine and I are in a position to hide from it, and to pull it off would require maybe two years of isolation and a lot of masks and hand sanitizer and unappetizing survival food. Fuck that noise. The smart move is to contract the disease as soon as possible, receive treatment before the medical system gets overwhelmed, rely on youth and a healthy immune system to survive, and develop antibodies that prevent re-infection. After that it's nothing but deeply discounted international sex tourism and maybe a little casual profiteering while civilization crumbles around you.

[Bobby Wong]

it's bug chasing 2.0, y'all

[gay sex]

buttermilk with that 20 acre land nonchalance

[gay sex]

i also dont believe this thing can faze me at all though

[gay sex]

also tine is a peasant in terms of land owning compared to you and hes 60 so hes literally dying

[Bobby Wong]

yeah but tine got those walrus-like fat reserves to get him through the lean times

[Donald trump]

Actually the antibodies you would produce after initial exposure only help the virus kill you quicker the second time. The virus is being spread to kill off the sick the old and people dumb enough to smoke.

Sorry Wongerino, youre probably going to get sick and watch most of the people you know die horribly.

[Donald trump]

it's bug chasing 2.0, y'all

Not even funny as i knew a couple fagtards who were really into that whole mess of a lifestyle

[Donald trump]

Wong Mike is getting old I want to get the hell out of California I will tend to your crops and clean your house in exchange for someplace semi comfortable for me and Sammy to live.

[Bobby Wong]

lol no

[Donald trump]

I am actually very worried about Sammy
I have a backup home for him in case I die but the lady is 70something herself so what if she dies too??? i dont know what to do Sammy cannot survive out there in the wild....

[Donald trump]

This is frustrating if the virus plays out like I am expecting it to we are facing economic collapse and eventual restructuring of our entire civilization. I am not joking local businesses like the one i work for cannot survive too long if people stop going to work shopping IF MOST OF THEM DIE AND HOSPITALS AND MORGUES ARE ALL OVERWHELMED GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

everybody comes sniveling to the government to step in and keep the lights on and before you know it our capitalist economy will be a fading memory. This piece of shit virus is threatening our entire way of life WONG I EXPECT MEN LIKE YOU TO HAVE BETTER ANSWERS WHAT AMMI SUPPOSED TO DO???? Hide out in the fucking woods??

This sucks!

[Bobby Wong]

you should quit doing drugs and get a job and move out of your moms house

[Donald trump]

Scared to death coworkers are telecommuting i just spent all that i hath on cat food and litter and im sending mike to live with his daughter for a couple months

[Donald trump]

Wong my cat plays fetch and you can see your own reflection practically walking across my floors

Just sayin

[Donald trump]

Knowing I might die soon i just hit walmart for a wiring kit so i can hookup this amp and sub i found on the freeway mere hours after silently wishing for such a thing

Who says God isnt listening hmm?

[Donald trump]

you should quit doing drugs and get a job and move out of your moms house


My mom and I do not speak you should know this already

[Bobby Wong]

maybe you should quit the drugs and patch things up with your mom and move back into her house and then get a job and move back out of her house and then talk to her like once or twice a week on the telephone

[Donald trump]

She moved to lodi area miles and miles from any city so that wont work. If she gets sick maybe but then my life will be in shambles anyway

[Bobby Wong]

oh, well there's definitely no jobs in lodi, you should probably just keep doing meth

[Donald trump]

I am probably going back to work as an electrician. Its somewhat mind numbing work but uh....yeah its super boring work. I should have put that california framer you told me to buy to better use than just kicking my hammer addiction off. I really wonder how i manage to consistently make horrible horrible decisions...

[Bobby Wong]

you're not smart enough to be an electrician

[Bobby Wong]

if you got off the meth and quit lying all the time, you might be able to get a job at walmart or an amazon warehouse

[Donald trump]

Yes youre right I was lying about being an electrician. I have so much to gain by impressing you and your dupes here at skatzpoker. I was just so desparate for validation - you have no idea.

[Donald trump]

Ah now I remember why Todd outed you. Its because youre a fucking weirdo and an asshole and you will only come around when you can hurl insults from seclusion, never willing to stand on equal ground with the next man. And I was right about scuter gay sex and a couple others being your dupes. Respect for the craft, but thumbs down on you as an actual person.

[Donald trump]

You would not beat Todd in any kind of testnmeasuring IQ or general knowledge trivia world history. Music you probably have most people beat. You think so highly of yourself yet i bet you never allow yourself to really be tested. Certainly not tested in such a way others might learn of your shortcomings and inadequacys.

[Bobby Wong]

maybe a roofer, you wouldn't even have to quit meth to do that

[blake]

this is the thread that brought me back to skatz

[anatine]

honestly it has everything

[anatine]

i keep waiting for the government to tell me now is the time to stop getting pizzas delivered but since they dont say anything im too nervous to order one.

[Bobby Wong]

Tom Hanks not only took my advice but improved on it by getting sick in Australia. He'll receive exceptional medical care, and when he's recovered he'll be that much closer to all the discount sex tourism in southeast Asia.

[Bobby Wong]

In the meantime, Steve Guttenberg says he is rested and ready to step in and fulfill any necessary Hanksian roles and responsibilities.

[gay sex]

uh so yea the apocalypse is literally upon us trader joes was out of burratta im done people its over

[gay sex]

also devs on hulu is low key fire

[gay sex]

its no better call saul but its fire

[gay sex]

sorry and for the cheap seats I LITERALLY WALKED OUT OF THE STORE WITH VODKA CUZ LOL STANDING IN THESE LINES NO ONE CARED NOTHING BEEPED THIS MIGHT BE MY NEW THING daddy bear is becoming a fucking shoplifter

[gay sex]

i kinda want to go steal more now

[gay sex]

i mean besides ur hearts bless you robby

[gay sex]

the no burratta thing is an absolute nightmare though also what are you doing with ur elderly parents my mom literally hit a parked car the other day they dont pay for xm radio im legit worried

[gay sex]

I just stole another bottle of vodka but paid 90 dollars for 6 bottles of wine I can't help myself at this point I must steal

[VaughnP]

Honestly, I was wondering who should be at the top of the Skatz/PFA Coronavirus Dead Pool, and I see this thread has already touched on that.

But seriously - worst case scenario is a .6-.7% mortality rate with it almost surely being 5x-10x lower than that, possibly even more. Just start mega dosing vitamin C, high dosing vitamin D, avoid crowds, and there's not too much to worry about.

At least in terms of surviving the virus.

The more likely shit storm is if the hospitals become overran and how that will affect social unrest. These nightmare scenarios are 10x worse than the rest of the world's considering that we own more guns than all of them combined.

[VaughnP]

I'm from a medical hub city and am currently in another one. The vast majority of nurses and healthcare workers have children to worry about. Americans have a different attitude. If the shit hits the fan, I can totally see the RNs, MDs, NPs, techs etc. that I know having the "fuck it" mentality and simply doing what is in their own personal best interests and staying the fuck away.

[gay sex]

Shut up walt this thread is about looking people in the the eye while paying for groceries but you have vodka tucked in ur waistband

[gay sex]

Also if xbox live goes down there will literally be looting

[gay sex]

Also I stole the cheapest kind of vodka and an now realizing I might be dumb

[VaughnP]

Probably is the easiest time ever to shoplift.

But let's talk about the real issue.

Illinois and Ohio have ordered all restaurants closed for anything but takeout and delivery. How long until DoorDash, UberEats etc. are unavailable?

My path in life of Amexing my way to my own episode of My 600lb Life can't take it.

[gay sex]

Its soooooo easy to shoplift and has been making my grocery runs way more fun also westworld tonight

[VaughnP]

Like if people are standing in close quarters waiting for takeout, how did that change anything? I imagine every state will follow suit, and most restaurants will end up not even opening.

[gay sex]

I just know Aaron Paul is going to ruin it but I'm still all in

[VaughnP]

The first few episodes of The Outsider surpassed the entire Westworld series.

[gay sex]

KFC and taco bell will sustain us

[gay sex]

Have not been watching that but I paid for hulu and wanted the shield its incredible

[gay sex]

Like how that show even got made in 02 I want a bts on the process

[VaughnP]

Also, I've had a weird very mild dry cough and a slight nasal discomfort for a few days now. Not even joking when I say I might be infected. I keep telling everyone that there are likely a couple of million cases already, it's just much milder than the hysteria would lead one to believe.

[VaughnP]

Watch the outsider and thank me later. Slow burn through the first two episodes, but then it hits its stride.

[gay sex]

I'll fire it up but I can't deal with heavy drama

[VaughnP]

It's not so much a heavy drama as it is a supernatural mystery/thriller.

[VaughnP]

I've felt Ben Mendelsohn has been majorly under appreciated since Mississippi Grind, this show proves it.

[gay sex]

I was the original mendelson fan so nice try walt

[VaughnP]

I vaguely remember him being discussed but either way, he deserves more work.

And I'm willing to partake in the theory that 120+ proof alcohol will kill the virus in one's throat, so I'm in the process of picking up pizza and seeing what options are available.

[VaughnP]

Also, can we discuss the state governments getting involved in price gouging? The guys doing this are obviously despicable, but it actually controls the masses from depleting the supply further while still leaving those with the greatest demand an option to buy it.

[gay sex]

Uh real talk were betting on ping pong now