Amazing Sentence of the Moment Thread

[Steerpike]

Should you stumble across any amazing sentences as you traverse the intrawebs you are duty bound to post them here for perusal.

Our first entry is from the esteemed A-Train Crediddles:

'One notable effect of the published census results on the political debates of the time was that the percentage of "insane negroes" seemed to increase the further North one went, reaching catastrophic proportions in Massachusetts and Maine. Pro-slavery advocates pointed to this as evidence of the beneficial effects of slavery.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1840_United_States_Census

Paragraphs are also acceptable but don't take the piss.

[Steerpike]

The following sentence is the opening line of one of the greatest achievements in modern literature, At-Swim-Two-Birds by Flann O'Brien.

'Having placed in my mouth sufficient bread for three minutes' chewing, I withdrew my powers of sensual perception and retired into the privacy of my mind, my eyes and face assuming a vacant and preoccupied expression.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/At_Swim-Two-Birds

Doubtless you have never heard of this book but as it's soon to be ruined at the theaters by Colin Farrell you will probably scurry along there and gaze blankly at the screen whilst ramming fistfuls of popcorn and candy into your drooling maws.

WELL I CAN ONLY APOLOGIZE THAT IT'S NOT THE HANGOVER 3

You people make me sick...

[SoiledLinens]

premium content folks

[Hillbilly Jim]

is that a nonfiction book?

[blake]

Mr. Chow: You gonna fuck on me?

Alan: Nobody's gonna fuck on you! I'm on your side! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destroys cities! *Please*! This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants.

-The Hangover

[DankBlaniels]

mmPRQoOpB4A

[Hillbilly Jim]

The golf pro is reportedly dating Alyse Lahti Johnston, a 22-year-old, he's actually known since she was 7 years old!

http://i.i.com.com/cnwk.1d/i/tim/2011/03/22/Alyse_Lahti_Johnston_01_540x405.jpg


lol nice catch tiger

[SkyNigger]

"So why did he take the veil, as you call it?" she asked.

Her question filled me with a deep tiredness. If you don't know now, you never will, I wanted to tell her. Because he was footloose. Because he was a soldier. Because God told him to and he didn't believe in God. Because he had a hangover. Or hadn't. Because the dark side of him liked an airing too. Because he was Larry and I was Tim and it was there.

[MistaCobalina]

GOD DAMN IT SCOOTER. PIKE SPECIFICALLY SAID THIS...




Paragraphs are also acceptable but don't take the piss.

YOU'RE PISSING ALL OVER PIKE'S PRISTINE THREAD!!!

[Hillbilly Jim]

pics are fine though

[Steerpike]

'Legislation had been proposed in both the House and the Senate in Delaware to designate English as the official language.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delaware

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_35fIbLVrYhw/ScF4nfyid7I/AAAAAAAAAN4/e1fbQfd1g94/s320/coons.jpg

[Steerpike]

From the ridiculous to the sublime we move to the immortal words of Aeschylus and his Prometheus Trilogy. With inspiration taken from Hesiod's Theogeny, Aeschylus rewove the legend of Prometheus who stole fire from the Gods to give to humankind that they may save themselves from the wrath of Zeus.

Prometheus Bound was the first play and details the eponymous protagonist's initial thievery and eventual capture, his punishment was to be chained to a rock and have his continually regenerating liver pecked out every morning by an eagle.

The sun's rays insinuate themselves oleaginously over the horizon and I can feel Promethius's trepidation keenly as I wake from the couch that is my rock and my blurred eyes adjust to the flickering laptop screen that is my sun. I wonder what textual holocaust mine eyes will befall across the intellectual wasteland of our forums, the merest sift through the detritus of the IST brings the eagle's shadow upon me.

Prometheus Unbound is the second play in the Promethiia and could incorrectly be called a sequel and I have no doubt you will. Hercules, who you'll recognize from the Walt Disney movie of the same name, comes to the rescue of Prometheus and slays the eagle that has kept him in torment.

There were but eleven surviving fragments of this play, scholars have tirelessly scoured ancient manuscripts and pieced together that which they could, for the next generation to pass onto the next, thus forming a link back to when Prometheus himself first stole that burning ember and passed it onto us.

Prometheus the Fire-Bringer is the end of the story and is that most tragic of tragedies. Just one line, one sentence of this play remains intact and I offer it to you here, in this place, that you may read it and if, by some miracle, understand it, you might better learn your place in this universe of ours and your importance therein:

'Quiet, where need is; and talking to the point.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus_the_Fire-Bringer

[Steerpike]

'Qatar 2022 World Cup organisers have already proposed air-conditioned stadiums to stem the summer heat, but a forward thinking bunch - perhaps inspired by TV show The Simpsons - are taking it one step further by designing cloud-like craft that will hover between stadiums and the sun.'

Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/858999-simpsons-style-hover-clouds-to-block-out-sun-at-qatar-world-cup#ixzz1HeMmsjql

[SkyNigger]

Fuck you censorship. You can kill my rep but unless you cut off my supply lines, you cannot kill my fight.

But I'm sure the "air-conditioning" idea guy got lots of backslaps, jealous stares, and attention. he's considering upping his gambit with "Mach3Turbo AC" it's got legs.

[SkyNigger]

Sometimes censorship is not your enemy, though I would never go so far as to hazard idle small talk, if censorship and I brushed past each other on the street.

I try to be friends. He pushes me away. I know he hurts. But for how long. And my pain? does it not have a voice as well. and a right to be heard?

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

Thomas Jefferson, in an 1803 letter to WH Harrison on how to run game on injuns:

'As to their fear, we presume that our strength and their weakness is now so visible that they must see we have only to shut our hand to crush them, and that all our liberalities to them proceed from motives of pure humanity only. Should any tribe be foolhardy enough to take up the hatchet at any time, the seizing the whole country of that tribe, and driving them across the Mississippi, as the only condition of peace, would be an example to others, and a furtherance of our final consolidation.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_removal

[Steerpike]

"Stoke boss Tony Pulis is planning a bid for tough-tackling Galatasary defender Servet Cetin, whose nickname "Ayibogan" translates as "a man who could choke a bear".

http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Transfer-News-Stoke-are-tracking-Galatasary-defender-Servet-Cetin-article722747.html

[Hillbilly Jim]

yeah we'll see how many bears hed choke when that one crazy fenebache fan is all up in his face with a knife

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

"A male spotted hyena which attempted to mate with a female which succeeded in driving it off, eventually turned to its ten-month-old cub, repeatedly mounting it and ejaculating on it. The cub sometimes ignored this and sometimes struggled 'slightly as if in play'. The mother did not intervene."


"Since the early 1990’s, for example, young male elephants in Pilanesberg National Park and the Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Game Reserve in South Africa have been raping and killing rhinoceroses; this abnormal behaviour, according to a 2001 study in the journal Pachyderm, has been reported in ‘‘a number of reserves’’ in the region."


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_sexual_behaviour

[gay sex]

SHOUT OUT TO LESOTHO

[Hillbilly Jim]

UB pro Joe Sebok opted to make light of the situation, quoting on Twitter, “In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double. Don’t worry, be happy.” He then quoted the blockbuster musical Wicked and watched the movie “Point Break.”

[Steerpike]

The actor Michael Fairman has been declared a Suppressive Person and thrown out of the Church of Scientology.

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/04/michael_fairman.php

'He is not a Scientologist and has also participated in squirrel activities with a squirrel individual.'























































xMuvjLcuvTI

[Hillbilly Jim]

maybe he can go live with keith urban
he is rescuing scientologists one at a time

[behemoth old]

Hey Italian anti-defamation league, how about getting off your fat goomba asses and doing something eh?

[blake]

Hey Italian anti-defamation league, how about getting off your fat goomba asses and doing something eh?

http://i.imgur.com/NQcvw.jpg

[Harley]

"It’s like naming our murder weapons after victims of our crimes: Apache, Tomahawk… It’s as if the Luftwaffe were to call its fighter planes “Jew” and “Gypsy.”

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

"It’s like naming our murder weapons after victims of our crimes: Apache, Tomahawk… It’s as if the Luftwaffe were to call its fighter planes “Jew” and “Gypsy.”

this post is correct, but needs some sort of citation.

[Hillbilly Jim]

Americans are not aware of what the rest of the world pays for gas. We are a very big, inward-looking domestic market. We don't watch soccer, we don't watch French movies and we don't really care what the Europeans pay for their gas.

yeah fuck you europe

[Hillbilly Jim]

and skatz at you nerds paying more in tax then we pay total
geeks

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/52645000/gif/_52645452_petrol_304_2.gif

[Hillbilly Jim]

The elder Brooks was discovered on the living room couch with a plastic dry-cleaning bag around his head and a towel wrapped around his neck, Browne said. A hose attached to a helium tank was hooked up to the bag, he said.

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

look, bro, we all know your deal, so just affix the link you fagtard.

[gay sex]

you are 4 feet tall

[gay sex]

and no you wearing velvet blazers doesnt make up for it

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

look, bro, im not the one that's been emasculated by a loloboard.

[gay sex]

what

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

Sarah Palin and her recounting of the legend of Paul Revere:

"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed."

http://gawker.com/5808271

[SkyNigger]

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d55/Piisorn_es/Pretty02.gif

[SkyNigger]

His strength was improbable, Smiley reflected. One minute he was a thin, drooping boxer whose gloves were too big for his wrists; the next he had reached out and rocked you against the ropes, and was surveying you with Christian compassion.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
- le carre

[Hillbilly Jim]

Kabouter Wesley wants to fight with a mushroom and to smack his face. The mushroom, however, challenges him, saying "knock yourself out, I don't have a face anyway". The gnome who lives in the mushroom can't be smacked either because he wears glasses.

Kabouter Wesley orders a pizza calzone, but keeps getting rhino instead. Also it emerges that these rhinos are not allowed to drink coke.

[Hillbilly Jim]

A Connecticut woman who was torn to pieces by a berserk chimpanzee has received a new face in the third such operation performed in the U.S.

[Steerpike]

'When I write I have trouble with my tenses. Where I was tomorrow is where I am today, where I would be yesterday. I have a horror of committing fraud. It is all very difficult, the past even more than the future, for the latter is at least probable, calculable, while the former is beyond the range of experiment. The past is always a lie clung to by an odour of ancestors.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cain%27s_Book

[Tyde]

http://oi51.tinypic.com/10hpzqx.jpg

[Delaware'sWifey]

He comes up here once every few months and that is our routine is to head out and walk my dog for a few hours and just shoot the breeze.
For the record he is a brilliant math professor and has worked for NASA, IBM, as well as the NSA briefly. I have known him for 38 years.

[Hillbilly Jim]

http://oi51.tinypic.com/10hpzqx.jpg

thats a small cock imo

[blake]

thats a small cock imo

http://www.donkdown.com/forum/gallery/image.php?album_id=21&image_id=648

[Hillbilly Jim]

While in WCW, he was arrested during a flight from Japan back to the US when he got drunk on the flight and urinated on a stewardess. By Matthews' account in his book, he claims that he was so drunk that he could not remember the incident and woke up in a cell in Anchorage, Alaska

http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/williamregalwtf_61412.jpg

[gay sex]

jims a gay

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

I apologize for the length.

"The movement of more and more African Americans to Chicago heightened racial tension at Riverview during that time period, as well. One of the midway games that started out as a 'Dunk the Bozo the Clown' game in which contestants threw balls at a target that would release a man into a tank of water turned into 'Dunk the Nig**r' during the 1940’s. African American men were hired to sit in the tanks and taunt white passersby, who often would throw the balls at the African American in the tank rather than at the target... By the time the game closed, 'the men who lost their jobs were reportedly making over three hundred dollars a week in what was considered to be the highest-grossing concession in Riverview’s history.'"

http://whgbetc.com/home/riverview-park-history.html

[Hillbilly Jim]

i hecak wish that had replaced the bozo the clown show on wgn
that would have got huge ratings

[Hillbilly Jim]

i hecak wish that had replaced the bozo the clown show on wgn
that would have got huge ratings

[gay sex]

jims eating a freshly killed squirrel for lunch

[Harley]

This isn’t the first time Kings Of Leon have quit a show midway through. In July last year they cancelled a show in St Louis, Missouri after a pigeon shat in Jared’s mouth.

[MistaCobalina]

"Very recently, I’ve arrived, after much forethought, with a few conclusions about the what the internet, mass media, and human interaction as we know it, have been silently evolving into, right before our collective and unsuspecting eyes."

-tyde

[Hillbilly Jim]

Rebecca Black Opens Up About Bullies and Home-Schooling

The "Friday" internet sensation spills to Nightline about being home-schooled from being bullied too much after her hit song was released.

apparently people were trolling her and she couldnt handle the truth that she sucks

[Hillbilly Jim]

-zR1QFimaAY

[Harley]

‎"Donnie called up and said 'I don't hear the single'.. so that night I wrote Cherry Pie, sent it to him, he listened to it over the weekend and all of a sudden, the album's called Cherry Pie, the record's called Cherry Pie, the single's called Cherry Pie, Im doing cherry pie eating contests, the single's Cherry Pie ... and my legacy is Cherry Pie, everything about me is Cherry Pie, Im the Cherry Pie guy."

-Jani Lane

[Hillbilly Jim]

10-year-old boy in Bellingham, Wash., defends mom with BB gun, shoots attacker in the face.

[Steerpike]

Whilst this thread is obviously the best on the site it saddens me, because it reminds me how much better I am than all of you, which is why I had to leave in the first place.

goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood times tho

[Hillbilly Jim]

A security guard found another security guard sleeping at 1 a.m., punched him, and was hit with a shovel in retaliation.

[rum dick]

" i mean really, mistakes were made. thats a sailors life. see a doctor and get rid if it. dont trust whitey "

[Suicide King]

" i mean really, mistakes were made. thats a sailors life. see a doctor and get rid if it. dont trust whitey "

that was pretty amazing

[rum dick]

Sonatine get in here and accept your green apple accolades

[Statutory Ape]

The difference between rape and love is salesmanship

[Statutory Ape]

It's not rape, it's surprise sex!

[blake]

nitas gross old pussy is now named blueberry pancakes

[blake]

^^^^ official skatz motto

[gay sex]

dont try and subvert the pancake narrative blake

[blake]

Yeah bob, I'm bi-curious or whatever, I've heard it all before. To date Scooter is the only man I have ever been attracted and I'm not totally sure what that means but I don't feel overly attracted to men in general.

[gay sex]

WEVE GOT A RUNAWAY BLAKE SOMEONE INTER HIM INTO THE TODDLER FORUM

[Hillbilly Jim]

23.20 BST: Former Wigan goalkeeper Richard Kingson has signed for Cypriot club Doxa Katokopia following two years of footballing anonymity. The keeper had taken time out from the game to deal with personal issues off the pitch, namely accusations that his wife was a witch.

[blake]

i rubbed one out at some gay dude's house for a 10 sack not that long ago.

[gay sex]

why dont we all calm down here and pump the blakes

[gay sex]

also real my flight got cancelled for tomorrow SNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW DAY PEOPLE

[gay sex]

OH VIRGIN FLIGHT 121 how you will kind of not be missed also really look at my composition here just staggering in its majesty https://twitter.com/realneverstop/status/418944806220341248/photo/1

[gay sex]

the real annoying part is after dinner i was at the store and im like should i get some wine, noooo you have to be up at 5 am to get to the airport, AND NOW IM TRAPPED WITH LIKE ONE NEGRO MODELO LEFT and maybe 2 glasses of bourbon

[Behemoth]

Tags are fucking incredible

[Hillbilly Jim]

In softball, there is a not-so-secret credo: “No bow? Lesbo.”

[Hillbilly Jim]

Erle began his training late in 1967 when he studied Taijiquan with the Chinese man who was also teaching him about telecommunications.

[blake]

lil b obviously stands for lil bobson but he means that metaphorically cuz hes a giant mishapen ape

[Hillbilly Jim]

A heavyset man saunters up close, his speech slurred: "Big old titties!"

[Behemoth]

Welcome to fucking Deadwood

[VaughnP]

Confession: I haven't stopped listening to the Pogues since St. Patrick's Day --- THAT'S HOW WEIRD MY LIFE'S GETTING.

[VaughnP]

Somehow the Irish connection fired the recall in my mind of this thread and the line from that Irish book about putting bread in one's mouth. Let me find that.

[VaughnP]

The following sentence is the opening line of one of the greatest achievements in modern literature, At-Swim-Two-Birds by Flann O'Brien.

'Having placed in my mouth sufficient bread for three minutes' chewing, I withdrew my powers of sensual perception and retired into the privacy of my mind, my eyes and face assuming a vacant and preoccupied expression.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/At_Swim-Two-Birds

Doubtless you have never heard of this book but as it's soon to be ruined at the theaters by Colin Farrell you will probably scurry along there and gaze blankly at the screen whilst ramming fistfuls of popcorn and candy into your drooling maws.

WELL I CAN ONLY APOLOGIZE THAT IT'S NOT THE HANGOVER 3

You people make me sick...

Pike is overall awful, but when he's good he's great. That's the weird thing about those limeys.

[VaughnP]

TOZHwWFjb30

Fans of the Wire should remember this song. Just goes to show how goat the Wire actually is.

[gay sex]

horrible story walt also im out on hockeywives

[Bobby Wong]

Ah yes, so many headlines: falling asleep at the wheel and driving off a bridge; working for a premium-rate sex phoneline; getting engaged to a 17-year-old Estonian girl then calling it off a week later; going to prison for stabbing a family friend after losing a finger-pulling competition; and finding God . . . Nykänen seems to have been on a very public kind of slippery slope as far back as you care to go.

[VaughnP]

Bump.

Came across this while searching for another thread. Overall one of my favorites. Some of these old threads have 10s of thousands of views.

[VaughnP]

Also, I sincerely miss jiveturkeysuckafool. One of the best all time posters across the forums. He logged in as recently as last month.