ur a fat sexual deviant though, SHOUT OUT TO JAMES CARRICO
Funny you should mention jewdy....my thoughts on the relevancy are as follows:
He points his finger at Tine without A SHRED of evidence that Tine is anymore more than a funny as hell internet personality, and when it becomes very obvious he has some skeletons in his closet, he runs from them.
Why run Marty? Secrets are only catholic until you stop letting them be that way. I was wronged growing up too, shit happens. No one fucking cares, truth be told, and really (this coming from a person who has felt the same pain) you stand to gain a lot by just coming forward with the truth. Whatever happened HAPPENED A LONG TIME AGO, do not let it poison you.
The world laughs while you ridicule Tine, but I know you are dying inside, rotting away, while people like Bob hunt you mercilessly day and night. Why? Because YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. You treat people like shit. And it's that rotten core of yours to blame, right down to the ooey gooey middle, under all that you are, a black mass is corroding you from the inside and it has a name, and that name is -SHAME-
Get rid of it, be a new man, today -could- just be your day. Your life isn't over yet, try to live a little, by letting the past DIE.
Hmm....Either my memory is better than yours, or you have been baiting me time and again. Which is it?
My memory is solid. You're confused about who you told this story to?
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Either way Jesse was/is the name of a guy
Never heard of him. When and to whom did you relate this Christian story to? It wasn't to me. It would have accelerated things, is all. The boys' father's horrifying insanity.
And yes, the reason the screamers need to be silenced is because everyone is born Sane. But Insanity is viral. Sanity is not viral. It's very hard to make the emotionally-corrupted sane again.
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Then one day, someone on one of my forums makes an off-hand comment that I am probably gay, and I say to myself "heh fat chance, how can I be gay whan I've never had the slightest interest in men?"
That's not the definition of "gay", by the way. A gay man is attracted to men. Of course I couldn't care less if you're gay or not, because I'm sane.
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but what about jesse, and what you did? or did you FORGET?...
You were victimised by Christianity's evil. Just like the boys were victimised by their father. Who was almost certainly victimised by...
Evil is viral. Victimisation is not hereditary though; it's not at all ironic nor is it coincidental that the Holy Bible drills "heritage" so aggressively. The sins of the father, are the sins of the son. Ask the Bible, it will tell you how to abuse your children. And it will tell others that the children victimised by abuse are "icky" and will almost certainly continue the cycle of abuse. This is not supported by logic. Every study conducted on this issue has been corrupted by imbeciles who don't understand the following.
Victims of religion are likely to raise ignorant children.
Victims of religion are likely to abuse children.
Victims of religion breed children.
If a victim of religion's victimisation of their parents refused to be ignorant, and refused to become a permanent victim; that child is not going to grow up insane.
It's not funny how this imbecilic world gets simple things confused. Morons find 'patterns' everywhere they look...for patterns. If they looked for a different pattern, they'd find the different pattern.
All sane people care about, is LOGIC.
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A voice literally hissed that in my back of my mind, and suddenly a flood of repressed memories came forward. Not at all pleasant, and without warning I suddenly felt shame like I never experienced in my life. I had something to be ashamed of, I had something to hide.
Isn't it cute how religion made the entire world think that about the shame inflicted upon them as children, and about the confused things that they did as a result.
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I hated myself, I wanted to die. And so I set out to kill myself, without meaning to.
I did this after I realised what I'd done with girls and with poker. I hated myself. It was never my thing. It was never what I wanted to use my mind for. I was no better than everyone. I was worse because I was brighter. It was my job to look out for those who couldn't look out for themselves and what did I do?
Mind games. Exploiting religious disparities. For sex. For money. The screaming of the former almost killed me. "You know I don't do this? I literally never do this! I'm not that type of girl."
The latter almost made me kill the screamers. Begging. It's disgusting.
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On the outside I was a "normal" person, at least by day, but get me alone and with enough cash to purchase booze and/or hard drugs and I was literally tempting fate every single night for years. And years did go by...
There is no such thing as 'hard' drugs. It's incorrect and spreads misperceptions used to exploit innocents. They're all poison if they're toxic. They're all poison if they're polluted with additives (which is what Prohibition is all about). They're poison if they're misused or used stupidly or dangerously (take too many sleeping tablets and let me know how you go).
But every single drug in the world (with the possible exception of alcohol) can be medicinal. Street MDMA (which was close to pure, or the testing kits said so; these were the years before the government clamped down on the safe ingredients to control the market more efficiently) cured my PTSD. I had almost zero empathy by that point. I was a very dark, very driven, frightening little genius. If you fucked with me, and if it was worth my time and if I could not solve it in a more optimal way, you could have died. I'd have lost not a minute's sleep. I was not here on Earth, I believed, to fuck spiders. I valued other people in ways that you wouldn't want to be negative value. That could become no value quickly. I was very disturbed. Of course, you would have thought you were my friend. Everyone thought that. Hah, I hated so many people who thought that.
I took MDMA when I was 17 or just 18 maybe. I felt empathy for the first time in many years. I had PTSD and I was cured it without my realising it. I was in denial of course because I was fine. My drug use was recreational. Hah. You could have died for suggesting otherwise. That would be a hint too late for you, and too late for everyone. My PTSD fury & anger at those who frustrated me with their inability to keep up dissipated. Years later, I discovered that's what MDMA was chemically designed to do. And it's one of the reasons why the government made it illicit.
Poisons can fuck you up though. My point is that 'hard' drugs don't exist. Medicines are toxic if misused and they're toxic if they're not medicine but substitutes sold as medicine.
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Fast forward to recently, and essentially I have come to grips with what happened, but more importantly, with a new set of eyes, I have realized the truth- the truth YOU delivered me to- that the past is what it is, it does not change me, or anyone, it does not define me, or who I am- UNLESS I LET IT.
Sanity.
You can hold onto your misery if you _need_ it to validate you, but those who understand Self don't let the misery of others define them.
Who you are and what you do is not what happened to you when you were defenceless. What the hell were you going to do? Fucking religion. They'll tell you something very different, it could sound like this: "You don't have to feel bad. That was not your fault."
Hah. They should die for their endless filthy shit.
"Why would I feel bad? Why would you try to assert that I even could?"
They know what they're doing. They're the vilest horror shows alive. It's a cute trick of religion to drag the evil out. I couldn't tell anyone I grew up in the CoG; I knew they would hold it against me. It wasn't remotely who I was. That wouldn't have mattered to creeps. It's who the emotionally corrupt imagined I would be. It's that Christian Compassion of imbeciles who assume "That would have really fucked me up." So they FEEL their shame onto you, "You must have really been fucked up. You're fucked up."
I wasn't. But let enough creeps do their insanity and it's infectious unless you understand exactly what's going on.
This world needs to MADE to keep their emotional insanity, and the insane ways they FEEL, to themselves. Those who cannot be sane and are unable to keep their insane emotions to themselves, need to be placed into permanent peace. No exceptions. No excuses. PEACE.
Religion has been disturbing the peace for thousands of years. They're the ONLY disturbance of the peace.
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That's the damned truth I have been seeking this whole time.
I know how that feels.
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jesse by the way was abused by his family, his older brother (who set the house on fire trying to commit suicide) was I think the worst hit.
Of course he was. Children are not born insane.
Everyone knows this.
Everyone likes to pretend they cannot understand the implications of "children, who have clearly been abused". It's not always their parents but 90% of the time, you wouldn't have to proceed past them or a close relative or in-law to find the culprits.
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And the real kicker- their father was a priest, a mormon (I believe mormon, though he might have been baptist) fucking priest.
Of course he was.
MLK was a Baptist minister. He abused millions of Americans who identify with being "coloured" or "black" or "African-American" or noose. It's largely MLK's fault that they do.
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I am almost sure the father and uncle abused jesse and his brother,
Of course he would have. He didn't think Jesse was cuter.
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and then the buck was passed on to me.
Buck is not the right word, but yes. That's how the virus works.
There is not a pedophile on the planet who hasn't been exposed in some way to child molestation. Even if it's a vivid reading of some Bible passages which - helpfully - introduce these sorts of things. Propping up the corruption, so to speak. A booster shot of the Original Sin.
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What happened to me, given my nearly eidetic memory and the fact I CAN'T REMEMBER MUCH, just bits and pieces (which are very much more than enough)
Yeah the details aren't ever really important. It's funny that creeps would obsess about them, though. People I told about the CoG (in time) would obsess about the details. I would tell them, they would press. I didn't really understand why they were so interested until I realised they didn't believe me. They weren't interested in any of the interesting things I told them. They only wanted to know one thing, and I told them and they didn't believe me. It's like they were convinced it was their job to catch me in a lie.
They knew I was lying. How? They couldn't tell you. They just FEEL these sorts of things.
They knew it was their job to drag a 'confession' out of me. Confession? That's how they FEEL about these sorts of things.
* Ramble here about batshit crazy girls or, I guess I could just say, girls.
They would have these ridiculous shrewd / circumspect / cynical / disbelieving looks on their faces that were so horrifying, on so many levels, oh.my.god. I was sane, more or less. Meaning, I was not a sociopath; I had no interest in hurting anyone.
But they thought my childhood must have made me a dangerous sociopath. They were trying to force this 'confession' out of me. I thought that was very ironic. They were determined to prove it. I thought that was ironic because they're not very bright. If I was a sociopath, their fucking shrewd insane filth would result in their deaths.
I explained this to a couple pairs of idiotically-raised and meticulously-plucked eyebrows who wanted me to know "they weren't buying my story". A couple girls who were making me regret proving I was cool with it. Their insanity will make you appear to not be cool with it. They force you to lie about things you don't give a fuck about; just to avoid their insanity at your proving that you don't care enough about it to lie about it.
Their fucking shrewd. I would look at these moronic faces imagining they were Sherlock Holmes and I was effectively pointing out that they were being really idiotic. If what they were trying to suggest was true, they'd be in _so_ much trouble because we were alone. I was just pointing out they had nothing to worry about so they were being ridiculous trying to force me to admit to something that would be "Uh Oh!" for them if it were true and they got what they wanted. Hah.
You can't tell someone who you're rescuing from drowning "Don't worry. You're not going to drown". They will hear the word drown and lose their minds and maybe make a liar out of you. They might kill both of you in their panic. You can't explain to a moron that you're not dangerous when they have it in their shrewd mind that you are. Once they heard my telling them why they were being ridiculous, they didn't become sane nor did they realise I was sane. They lost their fucking minds like a drowning imbecile who panics at hearing the word "drown". They knew I was a sociopath all along. They now realised the predicament they were in. They literally thought I was going to kill them. This is an insane world.
The horror on these imbeciles faces. It's so degrading. I'd just leave, exhausted.
At which point, they'd yell at me or text me ordering me to leave and not come back.
........? This insanity happens all the time. It's the religious screaming of tortured narcissistic dead people.
If you happened to miss it, "leaving and not coming back" was what I'd already done. They knew that. They would text me after I'd left to tell me why they had to tell me to leave and why I was not to come back. The why? Because they said so, that's why.
They were just warning me. This is what the insane do. They think it would make the difference between my coming back or not. They'd order me not to even think about it. Or...? Or else.
Who knows what the morons are thinking, but I see this insanity all the fucking time. It's out of control with girls. You could go to any dating site in the world and I guarantee you'll see so much of this insanity you could make an argument (in a sane world) for 7 billion glasses of Kool-Aid. Well that won't work but you know.
You'll see shit in the profiles of girls trying to impress guys (one assumes that's what the first impressions thing is about? who the hell could know with these imbeciles) that is horrifying. Stuff like "No players!" or "If you're a creep, then don't even think about it" or "I hate LIARS".
That's all good and well but why are they telling the world these things? If I was insane, I would try not to open with it. Do you see any advertisements for "Only players need apply" or "Creeps welcome" or "I only wanna get involved with LIARS"? I'm not sure what's going through their demented minds, but I'm pretty sure of one thing.
They're fucking insane.
You understand why advertising that shit is insane? If you do, you might be in the 5th percentile of Sanity. 95% of people don't understand why you shouldn't scream your insanity to the world of prospective romantic options. All those are perfectly normal sentiments to hold, probably almost universally held. So why people think it makes sense to state them? To what possible end?
They're just making extra sure, OKAY!?
But how? They only thing they're ensuring is the opposite of what they want. Insanity like the above will make sane people will give you a wide berth. Creeps lick their lips at your idiotic warning them not to fuck with you. It's literally a beacon, these imbecilic girls are advertising. You'd be challenging creeps, attracting them.
Warning them not to do it OKAY? You've been hurt before and you are sick of it OKAY!? YOU GOT TO TREAT GURLS WITH SUM RESPECT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH U GUYS SRSLY.
I'm not going to respect them. I just want to get the fuck away from girls who start up with this ordering around. They cannot dictate to what they cannot control. Which means it's insane for them to imagine they can. Only creeps will play with insanity like this. If I stay, I will play, they will FUCKING lose really badly. No one can win, of course. This is not a game anyone wants to play, but only the especially stupid imagine it's in their best interests.
They believe they can protect themselves from a world of creeps. They're think they're letting creeps know, they're not to be trifled with. Whilst they're letting creeps know they can be trifled with. They will demand you treat them with a some fucking respect or...
You know what the "else" is. Or else they won't split their legs. I've played this game before. I gave them R.E.S.P.E.C.T. I had no problem with insulting them. They believe they have earned it.
But this is not how respect works. Demand people act like a creep and only creeps will comply. Sane people won't be interested. Creeps will fuck you and leave, disgusted at themselves and blaming you.
Creeps hear this insane ORDERING THINGS AROUND THAT YOU CANNOT BE INSANE ENOUGH TO IMAGINE YOU COULD ORDER AROUND screaming that people do and process it all very differently. Creeps will lick their lips and think "Dear Diary: Jackpot."
The above is just some thoughts on this world of creeps. I'm not entirely sure how I got onto all of that. But this is a world of creeps, is my point. It's worth keeping it in mind, especially with girls. Give them the power to scream you insane and by god they will. You don't want to give them the power, is my point. Don't give them the authority to adjudicate on your value. They will use their insanity against you. It can only bother you if you're still emotionally incapable of understanding what's going through their insane minds. The above might have value, in that regard. I dunno. Pity them. Or kill them. But optimally, feel nothing.
This is not a catchphrase to remind yourself of every day like "think positive". You should "feel nothing" as in "if you are feeling their pain, you're not there yet". The only way insanity can hurt you is if you don't understand why it's happening. If you value their opinion, then their insanity can infect you.
Children don't understand anything. They love the insane and value their opinions. This is tragic, really.
They get infected so easily.
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I think i'd rather not know..
You should have emotional ambivalence, as an ideal. It's not you. It doesn't define you. There isn't any emotional scars unless you want there to be or can't get around why you've been brainwashed to imagine there could or should be. It's all in the mind. It's all religion. It's all their corruption, designed to create pain, to smash your face into the gravel and make you scream in suffering. They'll be there, to pick you up (after having tripped you).
"There, there, precious. You don't have to feel bad.". This is what they'll tell you. You can if you want to, but you don't have to feel bad.
The correct answer is, "How the fuck could I?"
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Strangely enough, and this was an eye opener for me, jesse called me randomly when I was 26, at my mothers place having lunch. Told me he was working at a volkswagon dealership selling cars, asked me how I was doing. Without even meaning to I small balled the conversation and took it to another room and asked him point blank if he remembered what happened in his garage? did I imagine it? His response: "I try not to think about it"
It wasn't who he was.
No one who hurts other people is being who they are. They've been damaged and confused. If it's in their mind the scars have been imagined. They can unimagine them by understanding why bad things happen to children.
It's religion. It only ever has been their disturbance of the sane peace.
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He tried not thinking about it, as I did, meaning he really never wanted to do it in the first place.
Religion tells their victims to suppress bad memories and try only to think of the good.
Gosh. But isn't that exactly what a pedophile would say? You can assess every religious value in this way. Try to imagine you're a pedophile and whether the value would be something that you'd try and sell. Religion was the Original Pedophile. Everything they advise (all the 'sweet') is transparent in this way.
Silence is golden.
Suffer in dignity.
If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.
* Ramble here about the vile lizard priests here in the Philippines and their 'concern' for the President's mental health; the horror of 'charity'; the Golden Urination of reframing, moving goalposts towards insanity; ESPN's aggravated racial assault on Jeremy Lin, the filth of assumed 'offence';
You should see the horror of the Catholic priests here in Manila. They all have their own columns in the paper, their own TV shows, they're respected for their opinions and they will give their opinions on everything they hate regardless of whether or not their demented vile sleaze has been solicited. That won't stop them. Jesus Christ said: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
They know if they were a cunt like the President (who won't pay them because they're the enemy of sanity and decency), they would have it coming to them too. So they express their 'concern' for him. They're so concerned for his mental health. They just want to help. They're worried for his sake; could it be the stresses of the Presidency? They'll just hypothesise. Could it be his "bachelor lifestyle"? (He doesn't really have one. They're just speculating because he's not married. Neither are they, of course; this got amusing when a reporter kept hassling him for an explanation for why he wasn't married - because everyone knows he's at the age when he really should be married - their priests tell them this. Aquino goes something like "I'm thinking about joining the priesthood", and the entire press hall erupted with laughter at the obvious joke. Oh my god the columns of the priests in the paper the next day. They were not happy about that one. They wanted to explain why they didn't think he was suitable. It got pretty ugly but then that's religion for you. It's ugly because it's insane). But the priests really only want to help. He doesn't need it but no good dead is intended for anything other than to punish. They express their concern for his mental health on the front pages of national newspapers. And they give him pieces of unsolicited advice that have helped them when they were stressed. Mothers passing away, during natural disasters etc when they knew they needed to be strong but were not certain they were up to the task. (You get the implied 'subtlety' I'm sure. It would seem they were up to the tasks? Oh they wouldn't even have noticed. Yes, yes they would guess they were. Now that you mention it ROFL). They're all just trying to help. They tell the President, "Your bravery should be commended but it's not worth having a nervous breakdown over. You don't have to carry the entire nation on your shoulders Ninoy."
You know, he's not a child?
That's just how they treat everybody. If you have a weak mind (and shitty parents), it's how they make you a child FOR LIFE.
But you must understand, when people are trying to give you unsolicited help against your wishes, you must appreciate what they're trying to do. It's what Jesus told everyone to do.
It hasn't been solicited but then that's the KEY to all of religion's horror.
Unless it's in your best interests, every _single_ unsolicited emotional expression of concern for your emotional health or mental state is an ATTACK. This world got its stupid face played. No one understands who they need to kill. When they need to kill. Why they need to kill. And how they're going to get destroyed if they cannot wake up to those who scream unsolicited pain non-stop. THE PRIESTS NEED TO DIE. WHO THE FUCK ARE WE KIDDING.
They invented unsolicited caring and giving. It's the imposition of emotional insanity.
If someone comes up to you and wants to engage you, you are within your rights to KILL them if the reason they bothered you is not in your best interests. HOW ELSE WILL THEY LEARN. Oh they will apologise. They honestly thought you'd be interested, or interested in hearing them lie to you. They all need to die. Who are you kidding, world? Letting them live is insane.
Selling something? They need to die.
Giving free stuff away? They need to die. Because why?
Jesus Loves you? That's why? They need to die.
Sharing their opinion with you? Have you asked for it? They need to die.
Trying to help you? Do you need any? They need to die.
Trying to tell you how you should feel? They need to die.
Telling you what you shouldn't be doing? Are you hurting anyone? They need to die.
Giving you their personal approval or disapproval? Do you ask for sleazy compliments or request illogical, emotive, unsupported views (not to be confused with criticism, which is always good; it's the critical thinking that distinguishes between insanity and valuable Truth)? They need to die.
Want to fuck you? Why would they imagine you would want to? Looks like they dreamed as big as their fucking ass. They need to die.
They want your help? With what? Money? Why? If they can't make a compelling case to you, and I will make children make a compelling case (I admit, I'm very easy to be made a case to when they're innocent) but I'm not remotely fucking interested in giving money to retarded kids who still love their parents and can't even say "I'm hungry. My parents are supposed to feed me. They're disgusting wretches. You need to feed me. I'm not asking for a favour, I'm telling you this is what you need to do. I'm human. You're human. This is what humans do."
I will explain to them that I already knew that. Then I'll feed them. It's what humans do. But I will warn them if they say "thank you", I'll take the fucking money back and they can go hungry instead. It's not a fucking gift I'm giving them. I make them understand what charity is. Well, I give them the first domino.
The first sane domino. It's in my best interests for humans to be sane. I'm not generous. What an insulting suggestion.
Religion changed the goalposts everywhere. They changed "sanity" into "generous" or "charity" or "saintly" or "benevolent". Fuck this horrifying shit. Mother Theresa was one of the most filthy whore wretches that ever lived.
I'm none of those Christian things. I'm not even "good". I'll watch a child die before I give them money, if giving them money is a really DUMB thing to do. And if they can't even state the truth about their parents when prompted, giving them money will be a really DUMB thing to do.
Some children don't want to say it. I make them say it or they can fuck off. If they're not convincing, I continue to explain the truth. I know it's not the solution, but it could be the start of one in their lives. At the very least, it's an option for those who are bright enough to avail themselves of options. Sometimes that's all you can do; just give people the option to see the Truth.
The reasons I do this would be obvious to a sane person but horrifying to the emotionally-insane. The victims of religion believe that every exploited child should still love and respect their parents. They're so vile. They would be horrified at my trying to cut the emotional links between exploited children and their exploiters (who were victims of religion as well, obv).
I know their parents were the victims of religion. I don't give a fuck about them. Almost every parent in the world is a victim of religion. It's not a mitigating excuse for breeding misery. Without a sense of Self, it's understandable why you'd want to suck the life out of the living with your emotional poison and pride and beaming pleasure at being pleased (and displeased) with your little rugrat who just wants to impress you. But there's no logic in why you FEEL that way. You'd just feel that way if you were a creep.
If you can't explain why you do the creepy things that you do, there's your proof. There's no need to feel shitty about it. If you're a parent reading this and realising you've been lying to yourself (and pretty much 100% of parents are doing that), just register it, accept it and become less insane. Becoming more sane is always better than the alternative.
But victims of religion who breed victims for the express purpose of staying alive, like the wretches of Catholicism here...oh.my.god. Christians would be horrified that I'm making children see the truth about those they LOVE. They'd say horrifying shit like:
"Don't you understand their parents come from disadvantaged backgrounds? Don't you understand the culture? Do you have any decency, at all? You cannot even feel empathy for their unfortunate position? How dare you make their children lose respect for them; it's not the parents' fault that they're poor."
I understand their disadvantaged noose in ways anyone who thinks they have a clue cannot comprehend.
I understand what "culture" is all about and what this "culture" is all about in ways anyone who thinks they have a clue cannot comprehend.
I'm the most decent person I know because I'm the most Self-serving person I know.
I haven't a shred of empathy for those who've jumped the fence and started creating victims as a result of their victimisation. I would chill a spectator with my callous laughing at their screaming in agony. Are they trying to stay alive? I'll ridicule them and laugh at them dying, kicking their filthy hands away as they reach up desperately begging for food. You can't have your cake and eat it as well. Are they trying to get to peace? I wouldn't be laughing then. That...will be a test of my decency. It's a tough spot, but only because everything in this world has been structured against decency. You creeps are just too dull to realise how horrifying true this is. Everything has been meticulously structured to ensure ongoing suffering. Look around and you'll see the truth. Look at the Law. Look at how hard it is to help people who don't want to suffer in agony, to not have to suffer any longer.
The suffering isn't a byproduct of religion's horror.
The suffering is their endgame.
I hope if I'm tested like that, I'll be unemotional and uncorrupted enough to do the decent thing. This world gets so horrifying around dying & pain.
"It's not their fault they're poor."
Anyone who says that is so far past corrupted, they pretty much just need to die. It's Golden Urination. The unsubtle (but you all suck so badly at subtlety it would probably seem subtle to you) smearing of their insanity onto you.
If you're thinking "but it isn't their fault that they're poor..?!"...just...urinate into a glass and drink it. Or kill yourself. Or fuck off. Or figure it out.
The Golden Framing of things so obvious, they shouldn't ever actually be asserted. And yet, they're asserted. How peculiar. But never in a sane way. Just that 'slightly' insane way. To assert something in shock because you don't understand something but you're shocked - just shocked! - that I can't FEEL the same idiocy as you, is one of the most insulting things you could ever do. The victims of Religion already know everything, you see. I will do something that they don't understand and in my entire life, I could count on my fingers how many times someone has failed to understand something I've done and STOPPED. to THINK. before spewing their insanity at me as if I could somehow need their explaining the obvious to me. They just smear their faeces onto you. They're incapable of thinking something like "Jonny probably knows this obvious thing. So if he's asserting otherwise...This position is not at all like the rest of his positions. I wonder what he's saying here."
Nah. That would be too much to ask. They know you've just lost your mind.
And it used to horrify me, because if I had to count the instances of instant Urination, I wouldn't have enough fingers for a single day. I didn't want to be intelligent. I wanted to be STUPID because I believed stupidity was the only way you could be happy in this world of demented imbeciles. But there is one way to remind me how of the religious disparity that is the gap that separates our respective intelligences - and that is to urinate Toddler insanity. It's not patronising. It's insanity. People are demented with definitions.
It would be patronising if I was a student and the urine was coming from a teacher. I have to teach you the definitions of words but I'm not sure you know what many English words are supposed to MEAN. I understand some of you didn't understand the definition of the 3-letter word "say" in the thread where the instructions very clearly used the word "say" in a very unambiguous spot. You might think it's nothing, and maybe you're right. It would depend on how many other three-letter words you don't understand the definitions of. We'll be in trouble when you're down to two-letter words.
Have you considered the possibility that you are not fluent in English? Don't feel bad. 95% or more of native English-speakers cannot speak even conversational or pidgin English. You can't have a conversation with them or read their fucking text messages. It's not just texting. It's how they think and write. They're not using shortcuts because of character limits or for speed. Those things are moot now. That's their capacity. I only just figured this out.
How do they get by? That's a very good question. But I think I have a rough idea?
They keep their mouths shut so that people assume they're a fool.
What? It's better than opening their mouths and PROVING it...!?!!
Imagine what people would FEEL about them. Imagine what people would SAY about them. People would talk, make fun of them, ridicule them.
But people are doing that already?
"I know why do people have to be so MEAN?"
"Why can't we all just treat each other with R.E.S.P.E.C.T?"
"Would it kill you to be POLITE?"
Yes, actually. It would. Politeness has killed hundred of millions. That's how it goes, with deceit.
How mean people are to you will only ever be a reflection of how mean you are being to yourself. It's all in your imagination.
Give imbeciles the power to hurt you and they will hurt you because they're little, snivelling, emotionally-corrupted Toddler creeps.
Give no one the power to the help you, and you will remain a little, snivelling, emotionally-corrupted Toddler creep.
Getting offended at the MEAN the MEANIE MEANT you to FEEL is...the insanity is beyond anything I can comprehend. If the INTENT of someone is to make you feel pain with their words, why would you believe their words could even be true? Unless you've been giving someone the power to hurt you, tsk tsk. Is it someone close to you, and you know it's true?
Why would you let them get away with saving up their truth to hurt you?
This is what lying so save the feelings of those you lie to, is all about. They're setting you up to smash you into the gravel. I've always been creeped out by the ostensible reason. It's too insane. I think I understand the horrifying reality now. You lie to people with 'sweet' pleasantness (for their sake) so that you can slam them on the ground and knock their existential Self out cold. Then you can exploit. It's genius.
I know how you snivelling little Toddlers feel. If this is above your head, then you're too stupid to be optimal at playing the Catholic Game. It's not a smart game to play, it's pure insanity. But if you're stupid and playing it, Uh Oh! You're on the wrong side of the worst kind of Religious Disparity. Your goose is cooked.
If the intent of someone MEAN is to hurt you, you'd have to be batshit stupid to imagine that you've been hurt. They're trying to hurt you, virtually. If you get hurt, you're batshit insane. How could you be that stupid, unless...
Unless you're lying to yourself, and you want to keep lying to yourself and the MEAN person is being RUDE and not letting you do what you want to do.
The only people who can even get 'hurt' in their minds by MEAN words are people who are lying to themselves. If you called me "a filthy yellow slant-eyed Chink", I would laugh. Not because I'm (relatively) clean...ish. Not because I don't have yellow skin. Not because my eyes aren't slanted. And not because I'm not Chinese.
I would feel zero emotion because the person is trying to make me feel imaginary pain.
The only way I could get offended is if I was filthy, AND felt shitty about it. Or if I had yellow skin, AND was embarrassed about having jaundice. Not sure how that could be possible but yeah. Drinking alcohol poison is kinda inherently embarrassing I suppose but I'm not drinking alcohol poison trying to make people like me and so that everyone knows I'm cool. I'm not a stupid child anymore. Are you? I don't think there's another way to have yellow skin but if I thought I had yellow skin, I would know I'm lying to myself. I would get a new mirror. Or stop listening to the mirror that told me I had yellow skin. The only way I could get embarrassed about having slanted eyes would be if I valued having huge stretched open wide eyes. I'm fairly ambivalent about eyelids or eye socket design; I'm just making one of the most important points you'll ever read about offence. The only way I could get offended about being called a "Chink" would be if I thought my being identifiable to some people as Chinese made me an inferior human, somehow.
Unless I was emotionally insane AND lying to myself, I could not possibly get offended at the slurs of those who are trying to make me imagine pain in my mind.
Anyone who asserted that I even COULD get hurt, would be asserting that I am insane and would be over the line that denotes the sanctity of their life. If I told someone to stop their filthy, unsolicited 'protection' of me - and they ignored me and just continued to assert I could be insane - I would be in a tough spot if I was Jeremy Lin. Because anyone like that needs to DIE for their heinous sleaze. But how do you kill ESPN when ESPN is trying to kill you?
ESPN is asserting that it is _natural_ for Lin to be insane. Lin wasn't insane when the Linsanity started. He wasn't insane when the racism started. You can't get offended at people calling you racist slurs and simultaneously function. You understand? Lin wasn't insane. He would have been exposed to racism all the time. It didn't bother him. He wasn't stupid. He knew racists were stupid. He was driven to succeed. Why the fuck would he care what insanity thought of it? Shit couldn't bother him. Aside from his Christianity, that kid was fucking emotionally sane. I couldn't believe it when the racism started and saw his early reactions. They were the sanest reactions I've ever seen to this kind of shit (which is really non-stop; you probably just don't notice when it's not GLOBAL NEWS STORY NUMBER ONE: EVERYONE IS BEING MEAN TO JEREMY. STOP BEING MEAN, EVERYONE. ASIANS ARE PEOPLE TOO! THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO! LET'S ALL BE NICE TO JEREMY OKAY?!
Quote:
While there is certainly no excuse for this behavior, it should be noted that Lin’s handle on his heavily scrutinized Xanga page from 2004 was “Chinkballa88.†That doesn’t exonerate ESPN for its idiocy, but it’s at least worth it to consider that Lin has like heard much worse and called himself similar slurs.
There's a pretty good excuse for that behaviour. The Insanity Plea.
It's well-noted that Lin was sane, correct.
Exonerate the insane? What the...
Again, it's well-noted that Lin was sane. So why are you still talking about his feelings? Why was everyone talking about how they imagined he must be feeling?
You're all a bunch of fucking creeps, that's why. You just wanted to cut him down to your tiny size. It was about power. Get some. Yeah teehee. The insanity of the emotionally-insane is just...
If no one has been victimised, there is no crime. Someone just peed their pants. Make them apologise to themselves if you want to, or grab a fucking towel. Why would ESPN insist on apologising to Lin even though Lin has said "It's not a problem. Let's talk ball."
ESPN are owned by Disney. That's your answer. It's a question of MOTIVE. Disney fucks toddlers. ESPN fucks toddlers decades after they were made to be toddlers for life. Professional sports is 100% exploitation of misery, selective bias, gamblers fallacy and lies lies lies wrapped up in delightfully slick wrapping paper and sold to children who, in some instances, die trying to get to where Lin was when he realised what the horrifying deal was. You can't win in this world. The insane will just scream at you because they're in pain.
You know how many times Lin said "It's not a problem. Can we talk ball?" only to be RUDELY IGNORED by those determined to make it a problem for him?
Lots.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ESPN
"We are conducting a complete review of our cross-platform editorial procedures and are determining appropriate disciplinary action to ensure this does not happen again. We regret and apologize for this mistake.â€
It's not a crime until you plead guilty. They just kept on pleading guilty to a crime that they were asserting Lin should be emotionally hurt by. He said he wasn't. They just kept apologising anyway. I was horrified.
They had to keep on apologising to him. So heartfelt. They had to keep on feeling bad for him. "Naughty naughty naughty. Poor Jeremy, everybody. Take a good long look at yourselves. It's funny but think about how you are making Jeremy feel. This is unacceptable and naughty behaviour. You all being really very mean to Jeremy."
It's not offensive. It's insane. There's a difference. One is urinating on Jeremy. The other is urinating on yourself. Keep telling people that they're being naughty and they'll keep doing it because they're fucking Toddlers who know they're just so darn incorrigible. They can't help themselves, just look at their filthy proud-as-punch smirk.
In the image above, the top 5 news stories are Lin and three of them are highlighting the unacceptability of 'offensive' racism.
Why is it offensive again?
"It's mean. It's hurts your feelings, in your imagination. That's why."
But what if I'm sane and don't give people the power to impose their emotional insanity onto me? It can't be mean then can it?
"It's still unacceptable. And we've very sorry for the pain we have caused you and intend to keep causing you."
ESPN just kept on apologising, it got ridiculous. Do any of you even remember this? The entire media was doing this racism thing, driving the racism thing. Do you think you could stay sane with the entire world screaming their insanity at you when you're telling them to stop feeling bad for your sake because you don't actually feel bad that you are Chinese?
Kid held out longer than anyone could have imagined. But no one can hold out against insanity that is driven that viciously and purposefully. None of this is accidental, is my point. You'd be too stupid to live if you thought it was all a big misunderstanding. I'm telling you this is what their emotional corruption is all about.
It's a weapon for them to use if and when they decide that want or need to. And they will hammer away with that weapon until....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lin
“They’ve apologized and so from my end, I don’t care anymore. You have to learn to forgive, and I don’t even think that was intentional.â€
There you go. They won. They cracked him; probably with the help of his exploiting church. Game over.
I don't know how feasible this would be to say considering ESPN is probably not someone a professional ball player wants to make an enemy out of but I'd be interested in hearing someone sane one day something like:
"They keep apologising and it's really creeping me out. It's like they're trying to force me to be hurt? I'm not hurt. I wish we could all just play ball but if you're trying to make me suffer, this isn't the way to go about it. Please don't go about it the right way yall. But I don't know what ESPN is doing. Do they? It's really rude how they just ignore me as if I'm not in a position to know how I feel. They're really out of line. I'm not the victim of insanity you're trying to imagine I could be. Imagining that racism has victims is how you promote racism. You can keep ignoring me but when I say "hey it's no problem, let's play ball" why do you want to keep promoting racism? Why does ESPN keep imagining I should be the victim of racism? That's the question you should all be writing about. I don't think this is about me; I think it's much bigger. Maybe billions of times more important than one guy, don't you think?"
It's just Christians moving goalposts with their corrupt emotional assertions.
"It's not their fault they're poor!"
"Oh my god Jeremy we're so sorry for offending you. It was unacceptable and we're cleaning house. Everyone's getting fired except the racist unnamed creeps driving the show of pain."
Christians, conquering the world with their filthy insanity and sleaze. They'll ignore your right not to be drenched in their emotional sleaze, they'll ignore you telling them to cease and desist, they'll ignore everything you want because they want to drench you in their Golden Piss.
The KEY to everything is in the unsolicitation, the unprovoked assault and the endless ignoring your of preferences. Tick tick tick? KILL THEM.
_______
Quote:
Jesse was "passing the buck" of shame he felt on to me. And thus this made me suspect to do the exact same thing someday, against my will. If I refused to ever face what happeend, it would have continued to bring me shame, and someday I might have been in a spot to "pass the buck" and done something unthinkable.
Suppression causes the danger. If your suppression is the result of imagining there could be shame in being a victim, then you'd be a ticking time bomb. A religious grenade. For what it's worth, I fell for this dumb shit. I made the mistake of giving a creep the power to hurt me and bang. It was a psychiatrist with a string of letters after his name in lieu of a logical argument and I was 14 and had 2 months of school under my belt and I fell for it hook line and sinker. I was reading some article and out of nowhere it turns into a thing about child abuse and this creep with all these ludicrous letters representing qualifications that made me go "wow" said "It's inevitable that the victims of child abuse will struggle with their inner demons for life" or some fucking dumb shit.
There was something in my childhood I was suppressing and I hadn't felt any pain or even cared about it until that point when my little mind went into overdrive and I was too bright and introspective for my own good. My logic was that it must be something horrifying if I can't remember it and suppressed everything more horrifying than the shame. This was my logic, sigh. I couldn't work out what it was for a couple uncomfortable minutes so I assumed all kinds of horrifying things and went about NEVER thinking about it for the next 15 years.
Ah. That's not actually how suppression works. I believed I was at risk for pedophilia. But I was never going to GO THERE. Hah. I went there when I was 29 and had the courage to go where logic should have told me I had nothing to fear. The thing about pedophiles is they are not in the closet like gays except maybe for your 'benefit'. They will have child porn everywhere; they will KNOW they're attracted to "women children"; they will dabble.
I thought I might be gay from the age of 14 to 22 so for 8 years I was homophobic until I finally got the courage to test myself for "gay". And laughed.
I thought I might be a pedophile from the age of 14 to 29 so 15 years I tried not to think about anything which preventing me from realising something funny. I wasn't attracted to children. I never had been. Whoops.
The shame I remembered quite correctly came flashing out when I finally WENT THERE. I was 8 or something. I was ashamed because I couldn't save anyone except myself. Sometimes I was trapped and I hated hated hated the victims for putting me at risk when I was at risk and then when it was safe I hated hated hated myself for hating them whilst they were getting victimised. It was silly. Nothing to be ashamed of. I was like 8 and kind of a hero - or stupidly over-confident / brave - so more or less the same thing. Not worth feeling shame over, it's mildly embarrassing at worst.
This is a religious world and you will SUFFER unless you're onto their fucked up shit.
Quote:
I have decided to move on with my life, and like this post, just saying it is what it is, and ending here.
It's impossible to move forward if you're always looking back. Dumbest little proverb or whatever, but it's Truth and that is so rare in this world any brevity that is true seems almost poetic.
My memory is solid. You're confused about who you told this story to?
Never heard of him. When and to whom did you relate this Christian story to? It wasn't to me. It would have accelerated things, is all. The boys' father's horrifying insanity.
And yes, the reason the screamers need to be silenced is because everyone is born Sane. But Insanity is viral. Sanity is not viral. It's very hard to make the emotionally-corrupted sane again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zzP29emgpg
That's not the definition of "gay", by the way. A gay man is attracted to men. Of course I couldn't care less if you're gay or not, because I'm sane.
You were victimised by Christianity's evil. Just like the boys were victimised by their father. Who was almost certainly victimised by...
Evil is viral. Victimisation is not hereditary though; it's not at all ironic nor is it coincidental that the Holy Bible drills "heritage" so aggressively. The sins of the father, are the sins of the son. Ask the Bible, it will tell you how to abuse your children. And it will tell others that the children victimised by abuse are "icky" and will almost certainly continue the cycle of abuse. This is not supported by logic. Every study conducted on this issue has been corrupted by imbeciles who don't understand the following.
Victims of religion are likely to raise ignorant children.
Victims of religion are likely to abuse children.
Victims of religion breed children.
If a victim of religion's victimisation of their parents refused to be ignorant, and refused to become a permanent victim; that child is not going to grow up insane.
It's not funny how this imbecilic world gets simple things confused. Morons find 'patterns' everywhere they look...for patterns. If they looked for a different pattern, they'd find the different pattern.
All sane people care about, is LOGIC.
Isn't it cute how religion made the entire world think that about the shame inflicted upon them as children, and about the confused things that they did as a result.
I did this after I realised what I'd done with girls and with poker. I hated myself. It was never my thing. It was never what I wanted to use my mind for. I was no better than everyone. I was worse because I was brighter. It was my job to look out for those who couldn't look out for themselves and what did I do?
Mind games. Exploiting religious disparities. For sex. For money. The screaming of the former almost killed me. "You know I don't do this? I literally never do this! I'm not that type of girl."
The latter almost made me kill the screamers. Begging. It's disgusting.
There is no such thing as 'hard' drugs. It's incorrect and spreads misperceptions used to exploit innocents. They're all poison if they're toxic. They're all poison if they're polluted with additives (which is what Prohibition is all about). They're poison if they're misused or used stupidly or dangerously (take too many sleeping tablets and let me know how you go).
But every single drug in the world (with the possible exception of alcohol) can be medicinal. Street MDMA (which was close to pure, or the testing kits said so; these were the years before the government clamped down on the safe ingredients to control the market more efficiently) cured my PTSD. I had almost zero empathy by that point. I was a very dark, very driven, frightening little genius. If you fucked with me, and if it was worth my time and if I could not solve it in a more optimal way, you could have died. I'd have lost not a minute's sleep. I was not here on Earth, I believed, to fuck spiders. I valued other people in ways that you wouldn't want to be negative value. That could become no value quickly. I was very disturbed. Of course, you would have thought you were my friend. Everyone thought that. Hah, I hated so many people who thought that.
I took MDMA when I was 17 or just 18 maybe. I felt empathy for the first time in many years. I had PTSD and I was cured it without my realising it. I was in denial of course because I was fine. My drug use was recreational. Hah. You could have died for suggesting otherwise. That would be a hint too late for you, and too late for everyone. My PTSD fury & anger at those who frustrated me with their inability to keep up dissipated. Years later, I discovered that's what MDMA was chemically designed to do. And it's one of the reasons why the government made it illicit.
Poisons can fuck you up though. My point is that 'hard' drugs don't exist. Medicines are toxic if misused and they're toxic if they're not medicine but substitutes sold as medicine.
Sanity.
You can hold onto your misery if you _need_ it to validate you, but those who understand Self don't let the misery of others define them.
Who you are and what you do is not what happened to you when you were defenceless. What the hell were you going to do? Fucking religion. They'll tell you something very different, it could sound like this: "You don't have to feel bad. That was not your fault."
Hah. They should die for their endless filthy shit.
"Why would I feel bad? Why would you try to assert that I even could?"
They know what they're doing. They're the vilest horror shows alive. It's a cute trick of religion to drag the evil out. I couldn't tell anyone I grew up in the CoG; I knew they would hold it against me. It wasn't remotely who I was. That wouldn't have mattered to creeps. It's who the emotionally corrupt imagined I would be. It's that Christian Compassion of imbeciles who assume "That would have really fucked me up." So they FEEL their shame onto you, "You must have really been fucked up. You're fucked up."
I wasn't. But let enough creeps do their insanity and it's infectious unless you understand exactly what's going on.
This world needs to MADE to keep their emotional insanity, and the insane ways they FEEL, to themselves. Those who cannot be sane and are unable to keep their insane emotions to themselves, need to be placed into permanent peace. No exceptions. No excuses. PEACE.
Religion has been disturbing the peace for thousands of years. They're the ONLY disturbance of the peace.
I know how that feels.
Of course he was. Children are not born insane.
Everyone knows this.
Everyone likes to pretend they cannot understand the implications of "children, who have clearly been abused". It's not always their parents but 90% of the time, you wouldn't have to proceed past them or a close relative or in-law to find the culprits.
Of course he was.
MLK was a Baptist minister. He abused millions of Americans who identify with being "coloured" or "black" or "African-American" or noose. It's largely MLK's fault that they do.
Of course he would have. He didn't think Jesse was cuter.
Buck is not the right word, but yes. That's how the virus works.
There is not a pedophile on the planet who hasn't been exposed in some way to child molestation. Even if it's a vivid reading of some Bible passages which - helpfully - introduce these sorts of things. Propping up the corruption, so to speak. A booster shot of the Original Sin.
Yeah the details aren't ever really important. It's funny that creeps would obsess about them, though. People I told about the CoG (in time) would obsess about the details. I would tell them, they would press. I didn't really understand why they were so interested until I realised they didn't believe me. They weren't interested in any of the interesting things I told them. They only wanted to know one thing, and I told them and they didn't believe me. It's like they were convinced it was their job to catch me in a lie.
They knew I was lying. How? They couldn't tell you. They just FEEL these sorts of things.
They knew it was their job to drag a 'confession' out of me. Confession? That's how they FEEL about these sorts of things.
* Ramble here about batshit crazy girls or, I guess I could just say, girls.
They would have these ridiculous shrewd / circumspect / cynical / disbelieving looks on their faces that were so horrifying, on so many levels, oh.my.god. I was sane, more or less. Meaning, I was not a sociopath; I had no interest in hurting anyone.
But they thought my childhood must have made me a dangerous sociopath. They were trying to force this 'confession' out of me. I thought that was very ironic. They were determined to prove it. I thought that was ironic because they're not very bright. If I was a sociopath, their fucking shrewd insane filth would result in their deaths.
I explained this to a couple pairs of idiotically-raised and meticulously-plucked eyebrows who wanted me to know "they weren't buying my story". A couple girls who were making me regret proving I was cool with it. Their insanity will make you appear to not be cool with it. They force you to lie about things you don't give a fuck about; just to avoid their insanity at your proving that you don't care enough about it to lie about it.
Their fucking shrewd. I would look at these moronic faces imagining they were Sherlock Holmes and I was effectively pointing out that they were being really idiotic. If what they were trying to suggest was true, they'd be in _so_ much trouble because we were alone. I was just pointing out they had nothing to worry about so they were being ridiculous trying to force me to admit to something that would be "Uh Oh!" for them if it were true and they got what they wanted. Hah.
You can't tell someone who you're rescuing from drowning "Don't worry. You're not going to drown". They will hear the word drown and lose their minds and maybe make a liar out of you. They might kill both of you in their panic. You can't explain to a moron that you're not dangerous when they have it in their shrewd mind that you are. Once they heard my telling them why they were being ridiculous, they didn't become sane nor did they realise I was sane. They lost their fucking minds like a drowning imbecile who panics at hearing the word "drown". They knew I was a sociopath all along. They now realised the predicament they were in. They literally thought I was going to kill them. This is an insane world.
The horror on these imbeciles faces. It's so degrading. I'd just leave, exhausted.
At which point, they'd yell at me or text me ordering me to leave and not come back.
........? This insanity happens all the time. It's the religious screaming of tortured narcissistic dead people.
If you happened to miss it, "leaving and not coming back" was what I'd already done. They knew that. They would text me after I'd left to tell me why they had to tell me to leave and why I was not to come back. The why? Because they said so, that's why.
They were just warning me. This is what the insane do. They think it would make the difference between my coming back or not. They'd order me not to even think about it. Or...? Or else.
Who knows what the morons are thinking, but I see this insanity all the fucking time. It's out of control with girls. You could go to any dating site in the world and I guarantee you'll see so much of this insanity you could make an argument (in a sane world) for 7 billion glasses of Kool-Aid. Well that won't work but you know.
You'll see shit in the profiles of girls trying to impress guys (one assumes that's what the first impressions thing is about? who the hell could know with these imbeciles) that is horrifying. Stuff like "No players!" or "If you're a creep, then don't even think about it" or "I hate LIARS".
That's all good and well but why are they telling the world these things? If I was insane, I would try not to open with it. Do you see any advertisements for "Only players need apply" or "Creeps welcome" or "I only wanna get involved with LIARS"? I'm not sure what's going through their demented minds, but I'm pretty sure of one thing.
They're fucking insane.
You understand why advertising that shit is insane? If you do, you might be in the 5th percentile of Sanity. 95% of people don't understand why you shouldn't scream your insanity to the world of prospective romantic options. All those are perfectly normal sentiments to hold, probably almost universally held. So why people think it makes sense to state them? To what possible end?
They're just making extra sure, OKAY!?
But how? They only thing they're ensuring is the opposite of what they want. Insanity like the above will make sane people will give you a wide berth. Creeps lick their lips at your idiotic warning them not to fuck with you. It's literally a beacon, these imbecilic girls are advertising. You'd be challenging creeps, attracting them.
Warning them not to do it OKAY? You've been hurt before and you are sick of it OKAY!? YOU GOT TO TREAT GURLS WITH SUM RESPECT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH U GUYS SRSLY.
I'm not going to respect them. I just want to get the fuck away from girls who start up with this ordering around. They cannot dictate to what they cannot control. Which means it's insane for them to imagine they can. Only creeps will play with insanity like this. If I stay, I will play, they will FUCKING lose really badly. No one can win, of course. This is not a game anyone wants to play, but only the especially stupid imagine it's in their best interests.
They believe they can protect themselves from a world of creeps. They're think they're letting creeps know, they're not to be trifled with. Whilst they're letting creeps know they can be trifled with. They will demand you treat them with a some fucking respect or...
You know what the "else" is. Or else they won't split their legs. I've played this game before. I gave them R.E.S.P.E.C.T. I had no problem with insulting them. They believe they have earned it.
But this is not how respect works. Demand people act like a creep and only creeps will comply. Sane people won't be interested. Creeps will fuck you and leave, disgusted at themselves and blaming you.
Creeps hear this insane ORDERING THINGS AROUND THAT YOU CANNOT BE INSANE ENOUGH TO IMAGINE YOU COULD ORDER AROUND screaming that people do and process it all very differently. Creeps will lick their lips and think "Dear Diary: Jackpot."
The above is just some thoughts on this world of creeps. I'm not entirely sure how I got onto all of that. But this is a world of creeps, is my point. It's worth keeping it in mind, especially with girls. Give them the power to scream you insane and by god they will. You don't want to give them the power, is my point. Don't give them the authority to adjudicate on your value. They will use their insanity against you. It can only bother you if you're still emotionally incapable of understanding what's going through their insane minds. The above might have value, in that regard. I dunno. Pity them. Or kill them. But optimally, feel nothing.
This is not a catchphrase to remind yourself of every day like "think positive". You should "feel nothing" as in "if you are feeling their pain, you're not there yet". The only way insanity can hurt you is if you don't understand why it's happening. If you value their opinion, then their insanity can infect you.
Children don't understand anything. They love the insane and value their opinions. This is tragic, really.
They get infected so easily.
You should have emotional ambivalence, as an ideal. It's not you. It doesn't define you. There isn't any emotional scars unless you want there to be or can't get around why you've been brainwashed to imagine there could or should be. It's all in the mind. It's all religion. It's all their corruption, designed to create pain, to smash your face into the gravel and make you scream in suffering. They'll be there, to pick you up (after having tripped you).
"There, there, precious. You don't have to feel bad.". This is what they'll tell you. You can if you want to, but you don't have to feel bad.
The correct answer is, "How the fuck could I?"
It wasn't who he was.
No one who hurts other people is being who they are. They've been damaged and confused. If it's in their mind the scars have been imagined. They can unimagine them by understanding why bad things happen to children.
It's religion. It only ever has been their disturbance of the sane peace.
Religion tells their victims to suppress bad memories and try only to think of the good.
Gosh. But isn't that exactly what a pedophile would say? You can assess every religious value in this way. Try to imagine you're a pedophile and whether the value would be something that you'd try and sell. Religion was the Original Pedophile. Everything they advise (all the 'sweet') is transparent in this way.
Silence is golden.
Suffer in dignity.
If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.
* Ramble here about the vile lizard priests here in the Philippines and their 'concern' for the President's mental health; the horror of 'charity'; the Golden Urination of reframing, moving goalposts towards insanity; ESPN's aggravated racial assault on Jeremy Lin, the filth of assumed 'offence';
You should see the horror of the Catholic priests here in Manila. They all have their own columns in the paper, their own TV shows, they're respected for their opinions and they will give their opinions on everything they hate regardless of whether or not their demented vile sleaze has been solicited. That won't stop them. Jesus Christ said: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
They know if they were a cunt like the President (who won't pay them because they're the enemy of sanity and decency), they would have it coming to them too. So they express their 'concern' for him. They're so concerned for his mental health. They just want to help. They're worried for his sake; could it be the stresses of the Presidency? They'll just hypothesise. Could it be his "bachelor lifestyle"? (He doesn't really have one. They're just speculating because he's not married. Neither are they, of course; this got amusing when a reporter kept hassling him for an explanation for why he wasn't married - because everyone knows he's at the age when he really should be married - their priests tell them this. Aquino goes something like "I'm thinking about joining the priesthood", and the entire press hall erupted with laughter at the obvious joke. Oh my god the columns of the priests in the paper the next day. They were not happy about that one. They wanted to explain why they didn't think he was suitable. It got pretty ugly but then that's religion for you. It's ugly because it's insane). But the priests really only want to help. He doesn't need it but no good dead is intended for anything other than to punish. They express their concern for his mental health on the front pages of national newspapers. And they give him pieces of unsolicited advice that have helped them when they were stressed. Mothers passing away, during natural disasters etc when they knew they needed to be strong but were not certain they were up to the task. (You get the implied 'subtlety' I'm sure. It would seem they were up to the tasks? Oh they wouldn't even have noticed. Yes, yes they would guess they were. Now that you mention it ROFL). They're all just trying to help. They tell the President, "Your bravery should be commended but it's not worth having a nervous breakdown over. You don't have to carry the entire nation on your shoulders Ninoy."
You know, he's not a child?
That's just how they treat everybody. If you have a weak mind (and shitty parents), it's how they make you a child FOR LIFE.
But you must understand, when people are trying to give you unsolicited help against your wishes, you must appreciate what they're trying to do. It's what Jesus told everyone to do.
It hasn't been solicited but then that's the KEY to all of religion's horror.
Unless it's in your best interests, every _single_ unsolicited emotional expression of concern for your emotional health or mental state is an ATTACK. This world got its stupid face played. No one understands who they need to kill. When they need to kill. Why they need to kill. And how they're going to get destroyed if they cannot wake up to those who scream unsolicited pain non-stop. THE PRIESTS NEED TO DIE. WHO THE FUCK ARE WE KIDDING.
They invented unsolicited caring and giving. It's the imposition of emotional insanity.
If someone comes up to you and wants to engage you, you are within your rights to KILL them if the reason they bothered you is not in your best interests. HOW ELSE WILL THEY LEARN. Oh they will apologise. They honestly thought you'd be interested, or interested in hearing them lie to you. They all need to die. Who are you kidding, world? Letting them live is insane.
Selling something? They need to die.
Giving free stuff away? They need to die. Because why?
Jesus Loves you? That's why? They need to die.
Sharing their opinion with you? Have you asked for it? They need to die.
Trying to help you? Do you need any? They need to die.
Trying to tell you how you should feel? They need to die.
Telling you what you shouldn't be doing? Are you hurting anyone? They need to die.
Giving you their personal approval or disapproval? Do you ask for sleazy compliments or request illogical, emotive, unsupported views (not to be confused with criticism, which is always good; it's the critical thinking that distinguishes between insanity and valuable Truth)? They need to die.
Want to fuck you? Why would they imagine you would want to? Looks like they dreamed as big as their fucking ass. They need to die.
They want your help? With what? Money? Why? If they can't make a compelling case to you, and I will make children make a compelling case (I admit, I'm very easy to be made a case to when they're innocent) but I'm not remotely fucking interested in giving money to retarded kids who still love their parents and can't even say "I'm hungry. My parents are supposed to feed me. They're disgusting wretches. You need to feed me. I'm not asking for a favour, I'm telling you this is what you need to do. I'm human. You're human. This is what humans do."
I will explain to them that I already knew that. Then I'll feed them. It's what humans do. But I will warn them if they say "thank you", I'll take the fucking money back and they can go hungry instead. It's not a fucking gift I'm giving them. I make them understand what charity is. Well, I give them the first domino.
The first sane domino. It's in my best interests for humans to be sane. I'm not generous. What an insulting suggestion.
Religion changed the goalposts everywhere. They changed "sanity" into "generous" or "charity" or "saintly" or "benevolent". Fuck this horrifying shit. Mother Theresa was one of the most filthy whore wretches that ever lived.
I'm none of those Christian things. I'm not even "good". I'll watch a child die before I give them money, if giving them money is a really DUMB thing to do. And if they can't even state the truth about their parents when prompted, giving them money will be a really DUMB thing to do.
Some children don't want to say it. I make them say it or they can fuck off. If they're not convincing, I continue to explain the truth. I know it's not the solution, but it could be the start of one in their lives. At the very least, it's an option for those who are bright enough to avail themselves of options. Sometimes that's all you can do; just give people the option to see the Truth.
The reasons I do this would be obvious to a sane person but horrifying to the emotionally-insane. The victims of religion believe that every exploited child should still love and respect their parents. They're so vile. They would be horrified at my trying to cut the emotional links between exploited children and their exploiters (who were victims of religion as well, obv).
I know their parents were the victims of religion. I don't give a fuck about them. Almost every parent in the world is a victim of religion. It's not a mitigating excuse for breeding misery. Without a sense of Self, it's understandable why you'd want to suck the life out of the living with your emotional poison and pride and beaming pleasure at being pleased (and displeased) with your little rugrat who just wants to impress you. But there's no logic in why you FEEL that way. You'd just feel that way if you were a creep.
If you can't explain why you do the creepy things that you do, there's your proof. There's no need to feel shitty about it. If you're a parent reading this and realising you've been lying to yourself (and pretty much 100% of parents are doing that), just register it, accept it and become less insane. Becoming more sane is always better than the alternative.
But victims of religion who breed victims for the express purpose of staying alive, like the wretches of Catholicism here...oh.my.god. Christians would be horrified that I'm making children see the truth about those they LOVE. They'd say horrifying shit like:
"Don't you understand their parents come from disadvantaged backgrounds? Don't you understand the culture? Do you have any decency, at all? You cannot even feel empathy for their unfortunate position? How dare you make their children lose respect for them; it's not the parents' fault that they're poor."
I understand their disadvantaged noose in ways anyone who thinks they have a clue cannot comprehend.
I understand what "culture" is all about and what this "culture" is all about in ways anyone who thinks they have a clue cannot comprehend.
I'm the most decent person I know because I'm the most Self-serving person I know.
I haven't a shred of empathy for those who've jumped the fence and started creating victims as a result of their victimisation. I would chill a spectator with my callous laughing at their screaming in agony. Are they trying to stay alive? I'll ridicule them and laugh at them dying, kicking their filthy hands away as they reach up desperately begging for food. You can't have your cake and eat it as well. Are they trying to get to peace? I wouldn't be laughing then. That...will be a test of my decency. It's a tough spot, but only because everything in this world has been structured against decency. You creeps are just too dull to realise how horrifying true this is. Everything has been meticulously structured to ensure ongoing suffering. Look around and you'll see the truth. Look at the Law. Look at how hard it is to help people who don't want to suffer in agony, to not have to suffer any longer.
The suffering isn't a byproduct of religion's horror.
The suffering is their endgame.
I hope if I'm tested like that, I'll be unemotional and uncorrupted enough to do the decent thing. This world gets so horrifying around dying & pain.
"It's not their fault they're poor."
Anyone who says that is so far past corrupted, they pretty much just need to die. It's Golden Urination. The unsubtle (but you all suck so badly at subtlety it would probably seem subtle to you) smearing of their insanity onto you.
If you're thinking "but it isn't their fault that they're poor..?!"...just...urinate into a glass and drink it. Or kill yourself. Or fuck off. Or figure it out.
The Golden Framing of things so obvious, they shouldn't ever actually be asserted. And yet, they're asserted. How peculiar. But never in a sane way. Just that 'slightly' insane way. To assert something in shock because you don't understand something but you're shocked - just shocked! - that I can't FEEL the same idiocy as you, is one of the most insulting things you could ever do. The victims of Religion already know everything, you see. I will do something that they don't understand and in my entire life, I could count on my fingers how many times someone has failed to understand something I've done and STOPPED. to THINK. before spewing their insanity at me as if I could somehow need their explaining the obvious to me. They just smear their faeces onto you. They're incapable of thinking something like "Jonny probably knows this obvious thing. So if he's asserting otherwise...This position is not at all like the rest of his positions. I wonder what he's saying here."
Nah. That would be too much to ask. They know you've just lost your mind.
And it used to horrify me, because if I had to count the instances of instant Urination, I wouldn't have enough fingers for a single day. I didn't want to be intelligent. I wanted to be STUPID because I believed stupidity was the only way you could be happy in this world of demented imbeciles. But there is one way to remind me how of the religious disparity that is the gap that separates our respective intelligences - and that is to urinate Toddler insanity. It's not patronising. It's insanity. People are demented with definitions.
It would be patronising if I was a student and the urine was coming from a teacher. I have to teach you the definitions of words but I'm not sure you know what many English words are supposed to MEAN. I understand some of you didn't understand the definition of the 3-letter word "say" in the thread where the instructions very clearly used the word "say" in a very unambiguous spot. You might think it's nothing, and maybe you're right. It would depend on how many other three-letter words you don't understand the definitions of. We'll be in trouble when you're down to two-letter words.
Have you considered the possibility that you are not fluent in English? Don't feel bad. 95% or more of native English-speakers cannot speak even conversational or pidgin English. You can't have a conversation with them or read their fucking text messages. It's not just texting. It's how they think and write. They're not using shortcuts because of character limits or for speed. Those things are moot now. That's their capacity. I only just figured this out.
How do they get by? That's a very good question. But I think I have a rough idea?
They keep their mouths shut so that people assume they're a fool.
What? It's better than opening their mouths and PROVING it...!?!!
Imagine what people would FEEL about them. Imagine what people would SAY about them. People would talk, make fun of them, ridicule them.
But people are doing that already?
"I know why do people have to be so MEAN?"
"Why can't we all just treat each other with R.E.S.P.E.C.T?"
"Would it kill you to be POLITE?"
Yes, actually. It would. Politeness has killed hundred of millions. That's how it goes, with deceit.
How mean people are to you will only ever be a reflection of how mean you are being to yourself. It's all in your imagination.
Give imbeciles the power to hurt you and they will hurt you because they're little, snivelling, emotionally-corrupted Toddler creeps.
Give no one the power to the help you, and you will remain a little, snivelling, emotionally-corrupted Toddler creep.
Getting offended at the MEAN the MEANIE MEANT you to FEEL is...the insanity is beyond anything I can comprehend. If the INTENT of someone is to make you feel pain with their words, why would you believe their words could even be true? Unless you've been giving someone the power to hurt you, tsk tsk. Is it someone close to you, and you know it's true?
Why would you let them get away with saving up their truth to hurt you?
This is what lying so save the feelings of those you lie to, is all about. They're setting you up to smash you into the gravel. I've always been creeped out by the ostensible reason. It's too insane. I think I understand the horrifying reality now. You lie to people with 'sweet' pleasantness (for their sake) so that you can slam them on the ground and knock their existential Self out cold. Then you can exploit. It's genius.
I know how you snivelling little Toddlers feel. If this is above your head, then you're too stupid to be optimal at playing the Catholic Game. It's not a smart game to play, it's pure insanity. But if you're stupid and playing it, Uh Oh! You're on the wrong side of the worst kind of Religious Disparity. Your goose is cooked.
If the intent of someone MEAN is to hurt you, you'd have to be batshit stupid to imagine that you've been hurt. They're trying to hurt you, virtually. If you get hurt, you're batshit insane. How could you be that stupid, unless...
Unless you're lying to yourself, and you want to keep lying to yourself and the MEAN person is being RUDE and not letting you do what you want to do.
The only people who can even get 'hurt' in their minds by MEAN words are people who are lying to themselves. If you called me "a filthy yellow slant-eyed Chink", I would laugh. Not because I'm (relatively) clean...ish. Not because I don't have yellow skin. Not because my eyes aren't slanted. And not because I'm not Chinese.
I would feel zero emotion because the person is trying to make me feel imaginary pain.
The only way I could get offended is if I was filthy, AND felt shitty about it. Or if I had yellow skin, AND was embarrassed about having jaundice. Not sure how that could be possible but yeah. Drinking alcohol poison is kinda inherently embarrassing I suppose but I'm not drinking alcohol poison trying to make people like me and so that everyone knows I'm cool. I'm not a stupid child anymore. Are you? I don't think there's another way to have yellow skin but if I thought I had yellow skin, I would know I'm lying to myself. I would get a new mirror. Or stop listening to the mirror that told me I had yellow skin. The only way I could get embarrassed about having slanted eyes would be if I valued having huge stretched open wide eyes. I'm fairly ambivalent about eyelids or eye socket design; I'm just making one of the most important points you'll ever read about offence. The only way I could get offended about being called a "Chink" would be if I thought my being identifiable to some people as Chinese made me an inferior human, somehow.
Unless I was emotionally insane AND lying to myself, I could not possibly get offended at the slurs of those who are trying to make me imagine pain in my mind.
Anyone who asserted that I even COULD get hurt, would be asserting that I am insane and would be over the line that denotes the sanctity of their life. If I told someone to stop their filthy, unsolicited 'protection' of me - and they ignored me and just continued to assert I could be insane - I would be in a tough spot if I was Jeremy Lin. Because anyone like that needs to DIE for their heinous sleaze. But how do you kill ESPN when ESPN is trying to kill you?
ESPN is asserting that it is _natural_ for Lin to be insane. Lin wasn't insane when the Linsanity started. He wasn't insane when the racism started. You can't get offended at people calling you racist slurs and simultaneously function. You understand? Lin wasn't insane. He would have been exposed to racism all the time. It didn't bother him. He wasn't stupid. He knew racists were stupid. He was driven to succeed. Why the fuck would he care what insanity thought of it? Shit couldn't bother him. Aside from his Christianity, that kid was fucking emotionally sane. I couldn't believe it when the racism started and saw his early reactions. They were the sanest reactions I've ever seen to this kind of shit (which is really non-stop; you probably just don't notice when it's not GLOBAL NEWS STORY NUMBER ONE: EVERYONE IS BEING MEAN TO JEREMY. STOP BEING MEAN, EVERYONE. ASIANS ARE PEOPLE TOO! THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO! LET'S ALL BE NICE TO JEREMY OKAY?!
There's a pretty good excuse for that behaviour. The Insanity Plea.
It's well-noted that Lin was sane, correct.
Exonerate the insane? What the...
Again, it's well-noted that Lin was sane. So why are you still talking about his feelings? Why was everyone talking about how they imagined he must be feeling?
You're all a bunch of fucking creeps, that's why. You just wanted to cut him down to your tiny size. It was about power. Get some. Yeah teehee. The insanity of the emotionally-insane is just...
If no one has been victimised, there is no crime. Someone just peed their pants. Make them apologise to themselves if you want to, or grab a fucking towel. Why would ESPN insist on apologising to Lin even though Lin has said "It's not a problem. Let's talk ball."
ESPN are owned by Disney. That's your answer. It's a question of MOTIVE. Disney fucks toddlers. ESPN fucks toddlers decades after they were made to be toddlers for life. Professional sports is 100% exploitation of misery, selective bias, gamblers fallacy and lies lies lies wrapped up in delightfully slick wrapping paper and sold to children who, in some instances, die trying to get to where Lin was when he realised what the horrifying deal was. You can't win in this world. The insane will just scream at you because they're in pain.
You know how many times Lin said "It's not a problem. Can we talk ball?" only to be RUDELY IGNORED by those determined to make it a problem for him?
Lots.
It's not a crime until you plead guilty. They just kept on pleading guilty to a crime that they were asserting Lin should be emotionally hurt by. He said he wasn't. They just kept apologising anyway. I was horrified.
They had to keep on apologising to him. So heartfelt. They had to keep on feeling bad for him. "Naughty naughty naughty. Poor Jeremy, everybody. Take a good long look at yourselves. It's funny but think about how you are making Jeremy feel. This is unacceptable and naughty behaviour. You all being really very mean to Jeremy."
It's not offensive. It's insane. There's a difference. One is urinating on Jeremy. The other is urinating on yourself. Keep telling people that they're being naughty and they'll keep doing it because they're fucking Toddlers who know they're just so darn incorrigible. They can't help themselves, just look at their filthy proud-as-punch smirk.
In the image above, the top 5 news stories are Lin and three of them are highlighting the unacceptability of 'offensive' racism.
Why is it offensive again?
"It's mean. It's hurts your feelings, in your imagination. That's why."
But what if I'm sane and don't give people the power to impose their emotional insanity onto me? It can't be mean then can it?
"It's still unacceptable. And we've very sorry for the pain we have caused you and intend to keep causing you."
ESPN just kept on apologising, it got ridiculous. Do any of you even remember this? The entire media was doing this racism thing, driving the racism thing. Do you think you could stay sane with the entire world screaming their insanity at you when you're telling them to stop feeling bad for your sake because you don't actually feel bad that you are Chinese?
Kid held out longer than anyone could have imagined. But no one can hold out against insanity that is driven that viciously and purposefully. None of this is accidental, is my point. You'd be too stupid to live if you thought it was all a big misunderstanding. I'm telling you this is what their emotional corruption is all about.
It's a weapon for them to use if and when they decide that want or need to. And they will hammer away with that weapon until....
There you go. They won. They cracked him; probably with the help of his exploiting church. Game over.
I don't know how feasible this would be to say considering ESPN is probably not someone a professional ball player wants to make an enemy out of but I'd be interested in hearing someone sane one day something like:
"They keep apologising and it's really creeping me out. It's like they're trying to force me to be hurt? I'm not hurt. I wish we could all just play ball but if you're trying to make me suffer, this isn't the way to go about it. Please don't go about it the right way yall. But I don't know what ESPN is doing. Do they? It's really rude how they just ignore me as if I'm not in a position to know how I feel. They're really out of line. I'm not the victim of insanity you're trying to imagine I could be. Imagining that racism has victims is how you promote racism. You can keep ignoring me but when I say "hey it's no problem, let's play ball" why do you want to keep promoting racism? Why does ESPN keep imagining I should be the victim of racism? That's the question you should all be writing about. I don't think this is about me; I think it's much bigger. Maybe billions of times more important than one guy, don't you think?"
It's just Christians moving goalposts with their corrupt emotional assertions.
"It's not their fault they're poor!"
"Oh my god Jeremy we're so sorry for offending you. It was unacceptable and we're cleaning house. Everyone's getting fired except the racist unnamed creeps driving the show of pain."
Christians, conquering the world with their filthy insanity and sleaze. They'll ignore your right not to be drenched in their emotional sleaze, they'll ignore you telling them to cease and desist, they'll ignore everything you want because they want to drench you in their Golden Piss.
The KEY to everything is in the unsolicitation, the unprovoked assault and the endless ignoring your of preferences. Tick tick tick? KILL THEM.
_______
Suppression causes the danger. If your suppression is the result of imagining there could be shame in being a victim, then you'd be a ticking time bomb. A religious grenade. For what it's worth, I fell for this dumb shit. I made the mistake of giving a creep the power to hurt me and bang. It was a psychiatrist with a string of letters after his name in lieu of a logical argument and I was 14 and had 2 months of school under my belt and I fell for it hook line and sinker. I was reading some article and out of nowhere it turns into a thing about child abuse and this creep with all these ludicrous letters representing qualifications that made me go "wow" said "It's inevitable that the victims of child abuse will struggle with their inner demons for life" or some fucking dumb shit.
There was something in my childhood I was suppressing and I hadn't felt any pain or even cared about it until that point when my little mind went into overdrive and I was too bright and introspective for my own good. My logic was that it must be something horrifying if I can't remember it and suppressed everything more horrifying than the shame. This was my logic, sigh. I couldn't work out what it was for a couple uncomfortable minutes so I assumed all kinds of horrifying things and went about NEVER thinking about it for the next 15 years.
Ah. That's not actually how suppression works. I believed I was at risk for pedophilia. But I was never going to GO THERE. Hah. I went there when I was 29 and had the courage to go where logic should have told me I had nothing to fear. The thing about pedophiles is they are not in the closet like gays except maybe for your 'benefit'. They will have child porn everywhere; they will KNOW they're attracted to "women children"; they will dabble.
I thought I might be gay from the age of 14 to 22 so for 8 years I was homophobic until I finally got the courage to test myself for "gay". And laughed.
I thought I might be a pedophile from the age of 14 to 29 so 15 years I tried not to think about anything which preventing me from realising something funny. I wasn't attracted to children. I never had been. Whoops.
The shame I remembered quite correctly came flashing out when I finally WENT THERE. I was 8 or something. I was ashamed because I couldn't save anyone except myself. Sometimes I was trapped and I hated hated hated the victims for putting me at risk when I was at risk and then when it was safe I hated hated hated myself for hating them whilst they were getting victimised. It was silly. Nothing to be ashamed of. I was like 8 and kind of a hero - or stupidly over-confident / brave - so more or less the same thing. Not worth feeling shame over, it's mildly embarrassing at worst.
This is a religious world and you will SUFFER unless you're onto their fucked up shit.
It's impossible to move forward if you're always looking back. Dumbest little proverb or whatever, but it's Truth and that is so rare in this world any brevity that is true seems almost poetic.
i like your new avatar, is that the girl who you said used to work in a gogo bar and ended up becoming a big star ?
either way more pics are needed.
I don't know if she's a big star but she's popular on facebook.
she does a lot a lot of modelling but I think she loses her money in projects with creeps; she's always doing some new project or another after some moron convinces her it's a winning idea but what do I know.
I haven't spoken to her in awhile actually; she thinks I'm a moron. maybe because I'm a moron. I was supposed to meet her at 7 for dinner literally under my hotel but I'd just gotten back from KL and my phone was flat and I thought I had heaps of time. She only called once at 7:25 and I didn't get a word in. It's so retarded because I'd missed my flight the day before in KL because my phone was an hour slow. She was tilted, but obv I'm not in a position to be standing girls up; I'm just a dysfunctional fuckup.
She was cool or I thought she was and I flippantly said something about my friend saying that she used to work in Nana (I didn't mean it offensively obv), she got cut and claimed there's some girl that looks like her that used to dance at Nana "cause she gets that a lot". Sigh. dumb lie. We haven't spoken since.
She's f cute though.
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also when are you moving back ?
Within 24 hrs.
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i miss the place but not sure if i could live there long term as i would likely make a big mess of myself.
These things pan out pretty predictably. You'd get over the chaotic pretty soon and settle into a more lazy routine. I struggle to get out.
I discovered a sense of rote fairly quickly after moving to BK, which actually felt safe and reassuring, helping to offset the knowledge that in the event of any legal issue whatsoever I would find myself in a literal cage with Nigerian and Iranian ice smugglers due to my immigration status (or lack thereof).
That said I dont really drink for all intents and purposes and it seems thats a huge catalyst for honkies getting in over their heads there.
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