Originally Posted by
Statutory Ape
I escape reality quite well, have since i was 8
Gosh but do you think maybe it's because someone (why, whoever could it have been) did not prepare you for Reality?
Gosh but do you think maybe it's because someone prepared you for Reality with Fantasy?
Gosh but do you think maybe they did this for a very specific reason? I don't think you should kill your mother. Because
justice is quite possibly the most stupid fucking illogic ever introduced into this insane world. You know where 'justice' came from, I hope?
Eye for eye, tooth for tooth. If you kill your mother for
intentionally and maliciously doing this to you, what demented purpose could it possibly serve?
But if you think she didn't know what she was doing
AT ALL, you'd be as moronic as every imbecile who loves their mothers because their mothers make them feel
special and make them feel
good.
They did this for a reason. It's the child slave trade. They raise children to please their exploiters and owners, rather than raising children to act in the child's best interests. The sheer irony of it all is that if they weren't stupid and vile enough to fairly demand humane neutering, they would raise their children to Selfishly act in the child's best interests. And lo! It would be in the child's best interests to care about the best interests of their mothers, would it not?
Religion fucked this world up so brilliantly and I've been dancing all around the bullseye I suspect I always knew on some level but it was too horrifying to accept. It's not implausible ignorance that makes every parent in the world breed human slaves instead of happy children. Well, it is. But that's not nearly the complete Truth.
The Truth is that they are implausibly ignorant AND implausibly evil. You want proof of this?
Grill a woman who's trying desperately to conceive her OWN child. Demand to know her motive. Refuse to accept the idiotically insulting lies she'll tender, as easily disproven as pointing to an orphaned Child of Humanity and demanding to know why the genetic code of every orphan on the planet is 'inferior' to what the mother is trying to produce.
Watch them become the most horrifying beasts on the planet. I've very nearly been tempted to put one or two down. They attack you like a cornered hyena with rabies. They attack you for gently asking them to provide you with their reasoning and their motive. They attack you because there's your answer.
They understand the concept of
mea culpa. Their ignorance is implausible but then they're not ignorant about why they are so desperate to breed rather than adopt.
Everyone is a victim of religion.
But some victims are so filthy, the only humane thing to do is rest them in peace, permanently. This includes literally every single mother who has no interest in loving an orphaned Child of Humanity.
I solved this horrifying mystery. I know why they have no interest in orphans. And so do you. Everyone knows why. If they adopt they cannot run their Confidence Trick line on the child. What's the line?
"I gave you life. You owe me."
This is why they must give birth to their OWN children. So they can trick the child into thinking they should be grateful for their violent kidnapping. It's human slavery. Yes, it's horrifying. But it's so easily proved.
They are imbeciles but that doesn't mean they're (remotely) innocent. They're the most evil wretches alive. You'd only understand this if you grill enough of them for their motives. When they attack you trying to kill you (literally), you'll understand the Truth.
That's why they don't use Logic to explain. My mother wasn't nearly as stupid as she has always pretended to be. I just couldn't imagine her degree of horrifying EVIL vile. She never gave her reasons. Not merely because she didn't have any but because she wanted her children to be stupid. She never gave her reasons when she had valid reasons. When she didn't have reasons for wanting to kill fun, that's why she killed fun. So that she could make her kids insane; refusing to give her reasons for wanting to kill fun. When they persist, that gives her the excuse to beat them.
It's all about imprinting. It's all about religion giving snivelling Toddlers ownership of the con.
It's all - and has always been - about Love.
Today has not been easy for me Tine. Yesterday, just YESTERDAY, I FIRMLY BELIEVED all the rubbish I so clearly and easily solved today. WHY IS THAT?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderl...ality_disorder
Borderline personality disorder
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a personality disorder marked by a prolonged disturbance of personality function, characterized by unusual variability and depth of moods. These moods may secondarily affect cognition and interpersonal relations.
The disorder typically involves an unusual degree of instability in mood and black-and-white thinking, or splitting. BPD often manifests itself in idealization and devaluation episodes and chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, issues with self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation. It is only recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) in individuals over the age of 18; however, symptoms necessary to establish the disorder can also be found in adolescents.
Splitting in BPD includes a switch between idealizing and demonizing others. This, combined with mood disturbances, can undermine relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. BPD disturbances may also include harm to oneself. Without treatment, symptoms may worsen, leading (in extreme cases) to suicide attempts.
There is an ongoing debate among clinicians and patients worldwide about terminology and the use of the word borderline, and some have suggested that this disorder should be renamed. The ICD-10 manual has an alternative definition and terminology to this disorder, called Emotionally unstable personality disorder. There is related concern that the diagnosis of BPD stigmatizes people and supports discriminatory practices.
Signs and symptoms
The primary features of BPD are unstable interpersonal relationships, affective distress, marked impulsivity, and unstable self-image.
Individuals with BPD tend to experience frequent, strong and long-lasting states of aversive tension, often triggered by perceived rejection, being alone or perceived failure. They may show lability (changeability) between anger and anxiety or between depression and anxiety and temperamental sensitivity to emotive stimuli.
The negative emotional states specific to BPD fall into four categories: destructive or self-destructive feelings; extreme feelings in general; feelings of fragmentation or lack of identity; and feelings of victimization.
Individuals with BPD can be very sensitive to the way others treat them, reacting strongly to perceived criticism or hurtfulness. Their feelings about others often shift from positive to negative, generally after a disappointment or perceived threat of abandonment or of losing someone. Self-image can also change rapidly from extremely positive to extremely negative. Impulsive behaviors are common, including alcohol or drug abuse, promiscuous and intense sexuality, gambling and recklessness in general.
Attachment studies have revealed a strong association between BPD and insecure attachment style, the most characteristic types being "unresolved", "preoccupied", and "fearful". Evidence suggests that individuals with BPD, while being high in intimacy- or novelty-seeking, can be hyper-alert to signs of rejection or devaluation and tend toward insecure, avoidant or ambivalent, or fearfully preoccupied patterns in relationships.
They tend to view the world as generally dangerous and malevolent. BPD is linked to increased levels of chronic stress and conflict in romantic relationships, decreased satisfaction of romantic partners, abuse and unwanted pregnancy; these links may be general to personality disorder and subsyndromal problems.
Manipulation and deceit are viewed as common features of BPD by many of those who treat the disorder as well as by the DSM-IV.
Suicidal or self-harming behavior is one of the core diagnostic criteria in DSM IV-TR, and management of and recovery from this can be complex and challenging. The suicide rate is approximately 8 to 10 percent. Self-injury attempts are highly common among patients and may or may not be carried out with suicidal intent. Ongoing family interactions and associated vulnerabilities can lead to self-destructive behavior. Stressful life events related to sexual abuse can be a particular trigger...
If you went through every single sentence I just quoted, I would be surprised if a single one didn't apply. The thing is, everyone has BPD to a degree.
That's the dark secret the "mental health" industry rarely admits. Everyone has almost every single disorder. The industry's 'professionals' try to pretend that humans can be sane and that things like ADHD and BPD are disorders when the reality is that everyone has ADHD and everyone has BPD; to a degree. Those who manage to hide their disorders, or adjust to living with them, or figure out a way to cope with them; is asserted (by the creepy 'experts') to be
sane. Those who cannot join the herd are asserted to be
insane.
There is literally not a single sane person on the planet. I doubt even John le Carre is 100% sane. I am not 100%. But compared to who I was when I was conflicted and torn between literally destroying everyone in order to be loved....vs....loving humanity and wanting to save them from those who destroy them wanting to be loved; well....the disparity between mental states isn't comparable.
But I was not nearly as insane as I became when, at 14, I ran away from the CoG's horror. In many ways I was arguably
pure because I was 100% focused on Self-survival, and I didn't credit the opinions of any of those demented imbecilic victims of molestation; so whilst I heard a great deal of evil, I saw very little and spoke none of it. I turned my eyes away and I played games with my mind to distract myself from what I heard and knew was happening. But I genuinely might have been one of the most sane 14 year olds on the planet when I ran away. The irony is hilarious.
Then I made the mistake I kept making until I was 29.
I started listening to those whom I did respect; pretty girls, 'cool' guys, teachers and parents of friends who only had my best interests in mind (ahem). Cue confusion. Lies lies and more lies. And by the time I was 29, I had had enough of fantasising about permanent pain relief. That shit was sealed, signed and delivered.
And then I saw Truth. Reality changing like a CGI'ed scene altering before my eyes as my mood crashed, terminally. That was the only clue I needed. The tonnes of bricks of understanding came crashing down on top of me like dominoes. In a three minute period of Truth, I learned more than I'd learned in 15 years in Society.
Because all these fuckers lie. All however many billion of them. There's a reason for that. They think it's shrewd. They're all imbecilic Toddlers who think they're too crafty to get caught. When they get caught, all they can communicate is their fear and their concern.
"Are you angry with me?"
"You must trust me. I promise!"
Idiots. I'm not angry. I simply don't care anymore whether they live or die. I walk away and they chase after me, assuming I'm angry. Idiots.
But almost no one helped me. In 29 years of interaction with thousands of people, I can count only three:
- my grandfather who tricked me into solving the 'conspiratorial' technology screwing up the numbers during ODI cricket series, in order to teach me maths
- Dr John Walker, the lecturer who taught me about sanity, respect and Self (he had so much Self, I spewed homophobic vitriol for two years and it didn't offend him - I was his favourite student, my hatred of what I didn't understand wasn't going to hurt him - he was sane!)
- Meen. Cute-as-a-button but the kind of button you'd want to rip and tear clothes off rather than waste time unbuttoning...three individuals sane enough to understand what having a sense of Self truly
means.
I've had good friends, many of whom left because I was unwilling to bite the bullet on the toxic poisonous close friends who were exploiting me and making me miserable because they loved me. But none of my decent friends really told me truth. They beat around bushes. They gave hints. This is all bullshit religious insanity. All it does is confuse everything.
Truth is truth. The whole truth and nothing but the Truth. The truth is always pure and always simple.
Everything else is a lie. I don't care how correct or accurate it might be; if it's not the Truth, it's a lie.
3 people in 29 years. 29 years of lies. Since Meen, only John le Carre and The Last Psychiatrist have given me any real insight. This is a world of demented exploitation and you need to do everything yourSelf. But then there are those who will help, but there is simply no capacity for them to do so if those they're trying to help do not want to be helped.
You have BPD. Probably the most acute case of it I have ever heard of or seen or witnessed.
I had BPD. It was getting very acute until I got a stay of execution by fleeing the leeches in terror and racing overseas.
Everyone has BPD. Everyone has literally every disorder, to a degree.
And people who cannot hold a torch to the intelligence which made me miserable for a quarter of a century have the nerve to suggest they know more than I do about the cause of all this emotional insanity. They have no other theories. They just know I'm wrong, in their gut. They don't feel it's religion to blame. They don't have an alternative theory.
It's just the way they feel. They've been led to feel that way.
You and Scuter want a real puzzle to solve, one that might benefit mankind (me specifically) please solve why a LOT of the time I am literally not living in reality, especially when it comes to real life struggles and hardships. I auto-run away from life without realizing it's happening to the point that I am literally suffering delusions. Some delusions are paranoid in nature, some make me feel much more in control than I am, smarter than I am, like things will "work out" as they always do.
I have literally already solved this and posted about it countless times, multiple times in direct response to you.
Your mother raised you with Fantasy knowing full well you would face-plant when you hit reality. You cannot cope with Reality because you were not prepared to cope with it. But that's not the entire story. You were maliciously setup to ensure you wouldn't cope with it. That way, you would need your Protection Racketeer of a mother.
You need to get so far away from her, that you never speak or think or feel her poisonous toxic evil at all, if possible. Or you can stay close to the leech. No one cares except for her.
But they haven't been, and I am getting fucked, and asking for help. Today I see with clarity the real world, where the fuck was it yesterday and the day before?
It was right where you weren't looking for it. It never moves. It never hides. It sits there and you only see it when you want to see it. I would wager a pretty penny that the only reasons you don't want to see it sometimes, is when some filthy creep has made you
feel good about yourSelf.
Please stop looking down on me for this, it is beyond my control at this point and that is the literal truth.
People don't look down on you. But if they cared to, they would be forced to. You don't want to grab the hands that will lift you up. You want to drag them down to you. Those hands are not going to reach down for you to lift you up when all you want to do is drag them down in gratitude for their nobly Selfish offer to pull you up.
No, you moron. That's your noose. You have been helped. Only you can help you. You're not valuable enough for anyone else to help.
I'm using you for various social experiments. That's impossibly lucky for you but you make a grave mistake thinking I care. I care about solving puzzles. If I heard you died, my emotional needle would react so subtlety you could be forgiven for thinking it simply hadn't twitched at all.
Once you understand things like this, you will stop asking for others to Help you and you will start doing something for yourSelf.
For the record, my attention whoring is a front, Tine sees through it (which is probably why I overreact to him) as does Scuter I am sure. It kind of goes like this- I am self destructing online and being unable to stop myself, I have become VERY frustrated.
You couldn't imagine how many people will read the above and think "huh?" As in, "Huh what did he think we thought?"
You don't fool people. Those who seek attention may never have fooled anyone in history but it's very hard to tell with imbeciles and their confusion. Attention-seekers have never fooled me; I knew why I was seeking attention, and I wasn't very pleased about it. But then if you think I'd ever be stupid enough to imagine I could want the attentions given to the insane who horrify, you'd be a fool. I sought attention in a somewhat more meritorious fashion.
Tine sees this and moves in (as a friend would do, I presume, but I don't know since I have no friends left hardly) and confronts me with REALITY. Reality is that I am my own worst enemy and solely responsible for my shitty situation and, additionally, skatz getting fed up with me and giving me the boot. It's all my fault.
Skatz giving you the boot should literally be on page 13 of your concerns. Almost all of which are your fault, but only because you refuse to accept that your mother was far more culpable than you will ever realise. But this whole 'fault' and 'blame' insanity...
Just more religious constructs of emotional pollution.
Now what's a protective creative mind to do hmm? Let the truth in and be unhappy, or make up something more interesting? A nemesis would be great, someone I can blame for everything that could not even remotely be plausibly his fault.
If you cannot understand why the Truth makes you unhappy, maybe you should kill your mother after all.
You want a nemesis? You need to be valuable enough to get one. You're so far below what would attract the interest of a prospective nemesis, why not go with the person who made you feel this way.
Ultimately my 'attention whoring' is really me screaming and crying out, internally, because my life has completely fallen apart
What a ridiculous delusional thing to day. Your screaming is because you have never had a sense of Self. Your life cannot fall apart when no one ever put it together.
She just made you think otherwise.
You could but you don't want to. Which means, you can't.
and it's all my fault. The emotions well up and spew out all over the place online. I am only vaguely aware this is real, today I have mental clarity, tomorrow my mind will be "protecting me" no doubt.
Protecting you from what? Convince her to tip the undertaker to hammer those nails in good.
And it sucks. Being me, I mean.
Yeah no one is going to fall off their chair at your disclosing such an 'admission'.
I'd apologize to Tine et al but as Scuter already pointed out, my opinion is not respected for shit and overall fairly worthless, so nothing I've done or said has hurt anyone, except me.
No I never said that. I said "apologies" are a demented construct of religion. They are an illusion with no value. Who gives a fuck how you feel? No one except those you are emotionally manipulating to thinking they could possibly give a fuck about your imagined feelings.
I never said your opinion isn't respected. I said no one gives a flying fuck about the insane because their 'opinions' are devoid of logical justification. They just express the way they feel, believing - in all their exploited insanity courtesy of their mothers - that their feelings are valid because they feel them.
That's idiotic.
You've merely been made to feel that way.
But yes, you cannot emotionally manipulate others into giving a fuck about your opinions unless they'd stupid and insane enough to value and respect you. No one sane will ever value or respect anyone.
They value and respect logic. They don't give a fuck about you, and they won't until you convince yourSelf to ditch this insane religious idiocy of "respect" and "valued opinion". Stop trying to imagine that either is possible and start making your opinions justifiable.
Sorry Self, please forgive me. I have fucked you over well beyond the point of salvation. We're just treading water until that heart attack on the toilet, aren't we?
Unless you're going to embrace the purity of logical justification for the way you feel, you'd be insane to wait for a heart attack. What would be the point of waiting for the director to say "That's a wrap" when there is no production underway?
Linear Mode
