I know what you're thinking. He doesn't really need to elaborate on this, right? It's a man using his dick to flip another man. Do we really need context here?
Actually, you do, because this doesn't come close to topping the list of gross and amazing things that Joey Ryan, the dick-flinger in question, has done in a professional wrestling ring. This match, against Danshoku Dino, took place at DDT Pro-Wrestling in Osaka, Japan; it's one of many stops in his 15-year career, which also includes a run with Total Nonstop Action (TNA). His character has remained fairly similar throughout: liberal amounts of chest and facial hair, and a gimmick that's synopsized by the slogan in his Twitter bio, "Bringing sleazy back."
Which brings us to his trademark affectation, the Blow Pop. He almost always comes to the ring with one in his mouth and it almost always winds up in someone else's. Usually, that's by choice. But there are also the times when things go horribly, horribly awry and... well, undesirable things happen. Extremely undesirable things that, because we try to at least feign some decency around here, I'm not going to embed in video form. But you are welcome to click the relevant hyperlinks should you want to see the Blow Pop go up Joey Ryan's ass, down Joey Ryan's crotch and a collaboration with the wrestler Tommy Dreamer called 2 Guys, 1 Blow Pop that, in the greatest perversion of irony the world has ever known, took place at a promotion called Family Wrestling Entertainment (FWE). Again, what you do with those links is up to you; my hope, here, is only to create informed consumers, and maybe also limit liability.
I spoke to Ryan himself, in hopes of finding out more about the dick-flip, the defining Blow Pop incident, and why the hell he does any of this. VICE Sports: So, right off the top, tell me about the penis test of strength. Whose idea was this and how did you even discuss it getting put into the match? Joey Ryan: I have to give credit where credit is due—Danshoku Dino, who I was wrestling in the match, he plays a very unorthodox character, very homoerotic to say the least. Part of his offense is to inappropriately touch and grab opponents for the thrill of it, or maybe to throw them off their game a bit. He speaks very little English, but wrestlers can usually speak wrestling, so we understand something. So we're going over the match and he says 'Maybe I grab, maybe you no sell, because American cock so big and so strong.' So it was kind of his idea. We both play sexual characters so it fit with us.
We both employ a lot of comedy in our wrestling, we try to keep wrestling fun and light-hearted as much as possible. That was maybe the most ridiculous part of the match, but it wasn't the only ridiculous part of the match. There were a lot of interactions that were just as over the top.
I think there was a little bit of buzz going into us wrestling as far as our characters and our personalities... The Japanese audience maybe expected us to do something like this. Although it may be shocking to see, I think they expected us to maybe raise the bar comedically, as it were.
VS:Do you think that can ever work with an American crowd or strictly suited for a Japanese audience? JR: I think more important than where it needs to take place is who it takes place with. It's very character-driven. If it's my character wrestling with someone who does mat work, part of their strategy wouldn't be grabbing someone's balls. It has to fit the right personalities in the ring. VS: You're also known for your trademark Blow Pop. When did that become a part of your character? JR: It happened in TNA because, before that, I would sometimes smoke a cigarette [on my way] to the ring, because that's also very sleazy. I'll still do that at some lucha shows. But when I pitched the idea to the office, they were on the fence and were debating it until they actually ran it by the pyro people. They said 'No, no, no, you can't have anything lit on stage. That might set some fireworks off and that wouldn't be good for anybody.'
But I do like the image of an oral fetish to play with my mouth so I can look sleazy going to the ring. So I decided the Blow Pop was the next best idea. VS: What do you think is the peak Blow Pop incident? JR: Probably the most famous one is the one with Tommy Dreamer with FWE in New York. That got on TMZ, actually.
My thing there was getting the 'F' out of FWE. Me and Tommy Dreamer—he's not afraid to put things in his mouth that are known to be dirty. And he told me 'I want to outdo to everything you've done before, because I'm known for putting gross stuff in my mouth.' So probably more than any part of the match, we brainstormed how to make it as disgusting as possible. VS: So, why do you do this stuff? You can be plenty sleazy without it. JR: I like to be shocking. I like to be the most memorable thing people see on the show. They're going to see a lot of wrestling moves and great wrestling on a given show but they'll always remember the Blow Pop incidents and the ball-grabbing and things like that. I feel like as a professional wrestler, sometimes professional wrestlers try to make wrestling look as real as possible and emulate an MMA fight. And that's great and some people are really great at it. I feel like because the general public knows what a real fight looks like nowadays, I can use what wrestling has and real fights don't have and do over-the-top comedic that they can't see elsewhere.
I take the advantages we have as pro wrestlers. Instead of emulating something that already exists, I try to do the opposite and do something they can't see and get the audience emotionally invested in what I'm doing. VS: Do you think things like the Blow Pop and the penis test of strength have helped your career? JR: I definitely think it's helped. Not only it does it make me stand out on any show and be memorable to audience, it helps me sell merchandise. I can be colorful, I can be creative and people want to buy the shirts of people they remember. It's helped my career financially that way as well. It's put me in a position where I now I can be a booked against a girl in an intergender match or an old school WWE vet from the past. I can wrestle serious guys. I can wrestle comedy guys. It opens me up to wrestling anybody and makes me more valuable to a card where I can be plugged in anywhere. VS: I suppose you could argue it's putting your body on the line in a very different way. JR: If you think about it, this video that went viral probably did more for my career than a bunch of the bumps I've taken that have probably permanently damaged my body. VS: So, will the penis test of strength ever make a comeback, or is it a one-off? JR: I feel like it can make a comeback, but it has to be built to. It has to be teased, has to be hinted at. Now that everyone's seen it, they're going to expect it. So you have to build up to it and pay it off at some point.
This thread is gayer than that whole Chuck and Billy storyline circa 2002, which in retrospect was actually a pretty decent troll considering that they tricked GLAAD into being a consultant for it.
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Originally Posted by gay sex
LISTEN while youre busy driving your cocaine submarine, i was out here defending the idea that all star survivor is better against scooter who thinks its a bad idea, JESUS CHRIST YOUR JIMMERY KNOWS NO BOUNDS
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Originally Posted by neverstop in a PM
. . .
But whatever, yes I can be a huge canadian faggot and you can be terrible yourself but theres no reason we shouldnt be able to co-exist at the very least, ya feelz me??
'AMERICAN COCK SO BIG AND SO STRONG'
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