I haven't eaten yet today, but when I do I am going to go in wide eyed and alert and give a sincere focus towards channelling my inner Jewdy. I know he is in there. Right smack dab in the middle of my heart.
Location: His mother, who is a lovely lady, had a c-section
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Late in the afternoon on a wednesday last July I was chillin at the crib IN LAS VEGAS and my stomach gave
a growl, letting me know it was time to eat.
I rolled out of bed and kicked winnie on the way to the bathroom and urinated all over the wall,
some spics will clean it while I'm gone so who fucking cares right, hopped in the VOLVO C70 COUPE
and burned rubber hell bent on taking some greasey chow to poundtown.
Just as I hit cruising speed on the highway I suddenly realized the situation had just gotten dire- I was
not only out of weed I also had drunk my last red bull. Fuck! Anyone who knows Las Vegas will tell you
the slop they serve ain't good enough for the spics and beaners who make it, so I have to be pretty
high or else I'll vomit all over the place.
I meet up with my dealer vegas1369 and score an eighth of super kushy dank weed and BURN RUBBER IN MY VOLVO down the strip, stopping by the local kwik-e-mart to pick up a fresh 6 pack of red bull goodnesssert.
<insert pic of redbulls and a pile of oregeno here>
Now that I'm good and blazed on super dank weed and feelin good I cruise on in to this local
mom and pop diner that might just be the last refuge for a white america loving dude like me can eat
without the putrid stench of mexicans and niggers singing my nose hairs.
Now, dont get me wrong, I have nothing against black people or mexicans, but I hate spics and niggers, you get me? I don'twant to be called racist, which I'm not. I don't hate any race of human beings on this earth, I just hate spics niggers and gooks and my hatred is justified I mean, if you've seen how they "live"
in their little communities you know exactly where I'm comin from.
This little diner is smack dab in spic central and in fact some faggot in a lowered impala nearly took the chrome off my bumper, how does he not see THE VOLVO C70 COUPE man? What the fuck???
I find a couple parking spots suitable for a man of my class and park sideways so these beaners know DON'T FUCK WITH THE C70 COUPE and walk in.
The waitress greets me with a polite smile and shows me to my seat at the bar. I wince as I have to elbow an elderly couple away from their slot machine so I can play. Who the fuck do they think they are? This is america! America is all about the next best thing, and being younger you'd think they realize WHO'S THE BOSS.
I order an all-american breakfast of eggs beans sour cream bell peppers with a tortila on the side (think it's called a whavos ranchairous or something) and get ready to stuff my face when this fucking nigger sits right beside me and orders some malt liqueor. At like 4pm! Wtf???
Angrily I sit in silence brooding that this fucking nigger (no offense to any black readers)has the nerve to be drinking a tall can right next to some really nice elderly couple just trying to enjoy las vegas and as I sit there eating my meal in silence.
I mean let's be real, we don't need any cotton pickers who the fuck said these clowns could stay in MY country? It just gets on my last good nerve having to look at these clowns with their pants sagging down to their knees and smelling like they haven't bathed since prison. I mean WHAT THE FUCK is America coming to???
After this *ahem* gentleman gets done with his drink he gets up to leave and I notice the elderly couple has finished theirs as well. The couple
has made their way to the slot machine at the other end of the bar and I just at that moment realize I haven't gotten my rent check yet. Normally
this would not alarm me (mom wires it when she has to) but right now I owe a couple people and I hadn't been able to feed winnie anything but peanut butter in weeks (not that she's complaining) and just as all this reality it smashing me in the face, I realized I didn't even have enough money to cover my meal.
Clearly this is no time for fooling around and as I frantically searched my memory banks for clues of what to do, I hear the sound of clanging change. It can't be- the old people moved over to MY chair BEFORE I paid and played on MY slot machine, and hit a goddamn jackpot!
Thankfully everything worked out in the end, and while I won't go into boring details the couple
basically admitted they shouldn't have sat in MY chair and split the jackpot with me. I made it back to california in a minivan and took winnie on a journey all up and down the california coastline. I even had enough to pick up gthis cool glock 9mm pistol to fend off any niggers and spics who try to get feisty.
Mike I would like a serious attempt at mastering Jewdonk's writing style. This isn't a open forum for ridicule and criticism. Jewdonk is intentionally humorous. You are not. Please try again. F.
Official Restaurant write a restaurant review in the style of an angry jewdonk thread
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