also can we talk about how doordash is just brutally abusing drunk people

[gay sex]

its essentially 20 dollars for me to order a quesadilla right now that is fucking insane but im gonna end up paying it in like 30 minutes

[Bobby Wong]

so i think we start a business called discount dilla delivery and promote it with a lot of charts about our superior dollar to dilla ratio to appeal to the stonk rubes, double dillas after dark to appeal to the fats, we got a couple undocumented brown people whomping them up at a central location, a bunch of "independent contractors" out there just pissing in cups and fucking up their own vehicles delivering them, and we make a killing.

then once that's established and the public is accustomed to an all-dilla delivery service, we start a competing business called god's dilla that caters to a higher end clientele, you know the type who wouldn't be caught dead ordering a discount dilla. and we charge them the same $20 a dilla that gare's paying now, only we don't have to give a cut to doordash because we already have our own fleet of drivers. and here's the kicker, it's the same dilla made by the same brown people at discount dilla. now we're making money coming and going.

[anatine]

whoa whoa whoa your dollar to dilla ratio is what exactly?

[Bobby Wong]

[Bobby Wong]

and if you want to buy a case of dillas and make a half-hearted attempt to pretend it's for some kind of work meeting but you really can barely bring yourself to change out of your bathrobe to put up any kind of pretense anymore, we don't judge

[VaughnP]

Gare, what's your monthly DoorDash total averaging at this point? I think I broke 1500 in January, and that's with Midwest and Texas food costs.

[Bobby Wong]

gare investing in a hog-on-demand delivery service called boardash

[anatine]

im working on a smoredash joke thats going to be absolute fire.

[Bobby Wong]

i'm heavily invested in a landscape plant delivery service called shrubhub

[gay sex]

sorry for missing out on this shrubhub would be an absolute hitter joke for us in 10 years when were like 50 and sonatine is 73