The true purity of a man's character can only be accurately tested through the fires of diversity.
It is a source of pride to me that I am known for apologising the 4 times in my life where I was mildly wrong. It takes a big man to apologise. It takes a bigger man to steal one's opponent's pet cat, kill it and then post it to the house addressed to his daughter. In Easter wrapping paper. Then take pictures of the child leaving her school and leaving them in his mail box. No words. Just pictures of your nemesis' daughter leaving her school alone. You do this, you win. 78% of the time, every time.
As easy as that would be for me to do for the 39th time - I chose to apologise instead. My Character, the essence of my Soul and tangible Value I present to the Human Race, all having been purified by the fires of diversity, came out 8% pure. Which shits all over Australian cocaine going through the same purity testing process. Which is sold for $400/gram.
At $400/g - I am worth more than Cocaine. Wait. I'm dyslexic. who cares. I have a big wang.
At $1xxx/oz - I am worth more than 24 carat gold bullion. I have no fucking idea if that is true. It's completely irrelevant to the point I'm trying to make....
Capital punishment in our societies is under-utilised and this is a fucking tradgedy. You could make tear-jerkers about this fucking shit. For example, all designers, marketers, truck drivers, their families, their children's teachers and tutors - everyone involved with concept to mass release of Crocs footware should be summarily executed.
Snow famers. Actually best to lock him in the Bastille.
Every person that spent > / = $1 on watching movie 2012. Every person remotely aware of the movie being made. Round them all up. Summary executions. Stand them 4 deep to save on rounds. We're a Green Globe now.
Oh yes, calling you a bigot was out of line when I know for a fact you respectfully jerk to Negroe Pornography. And some Bestiality [S / V Williams bros].
Also, upon further investigation into the issue [Christians loving cock], I'm mortified to admit I was wrong. Christians do - in fact - love the cock. Actually, it seems [*preliminary investigative report] that being Christian makes you 3.8x more likely to suck cock. I apologise for not realising this. And I was out of line for calling your investigative reporting "bigotry".
Also, your daughter has a late Easter present I just got around to sending...sorry for it's delay. Yes it was for 2009 Easter. I just has some chocolate shit in it that wasn't refrigerated. We ate it. I put saffron in my wet fried rice earlier and the children threatened to talk to The Man about some misunderstood and complicated child sexual encounters. But there are two sides to every story, and the pedophiles in our extended family have not had their versions heard yet.
Anyway, as your daughter is already a porky, a few old chocolates won't harm her. You can let her open it alone - it's harmless.
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