Like a month ago I was too lazy to pluck my eyebrows so I resorted to paying for sex with my credit card inside as opposed to paying for sex with my credit card outside. I was quite chuffed [if a little nervous] to organise a private date with this lady named Pontip.
At $80, she was a steal I decided. I probably got $80 worth out of the deal by the time she arrived. At which point, she looked not so much like the girl above but more like this:
I have been more impressed. Than I was then.
Ashamed at having been so craftily hornswaggled by such a rare Internet Scam, partly to make myself sound cool on another forum but mostly because I did not honestly see how I could get caught, I claimed that Pontip actually showed, signing off with "$80 sfo niggers"
I had to do some quick fucking thinking to keep my e-rep when - almost unbelievably - some little jerkoff goes:
Originally Posted by little jerkoff
And I was in a tough spot. But I quickly said "no shit little jerkoff that's why when the nasty one showed, I so fucking owned myself. sfo?"
No one really bought it, but awkward plausibility can really save the day.
This story has a happy ending though, because after reading about Miss Luana, I thought she would appreciate a funny and helpful email and maybe she would send me some naked pics and who knows, cyber in time perhaps with my credit card. Then something like love could happen. All the balls are in play basically.
I knew I had to be funny straight out. You only get one chance to make an impression on a porn star's clerk. After a couple hours and 14 drafts, I decided this was putting my best foot forward:
there's a Bangkok hooker site using your pics and listing you for $110/hr.
http://111hot-babes.escort-site.com/photos.phtml [your pics are 2nd from bottom of the page and your name is Pontip]
I think, if I were you, the most insulting thing about it all would be the price. $110? Should be $1110. imho.
See how I made like a super subtle compliment that was also sexually loaded and maybe even suggestive? I've been reading about the Art of Flirting.
After like 3 weeks of refreshing my email inbox, I was ready to give up hope. When she responded with:
Hey Jonny,
Thanks for the heads up! Wow, it's funny that they couldn't think of a better name than "Pontip."
I appreciate you letting me know about this. Hope you have a great day! Happy 4th of July!
XOXO,
Luana
http://missluana.com
But it sucked cause I received it on July 5 due to time differences.
Also I didn't think that it was funny that her name was Pontip cause it sounded very believable to my credit card. But despite this, you can cut the sexual tension, and I need to capitalise, but I don't know how I can follow up my amazing opener.
Lightning doesn't strike twice. But if it does, I can tell you one thing....
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