I think it's great that VISA took care to trademark their innovative security measure. Imagine if they forgot! MasterCard could steal it and start up their own "Verified by VISA(tm)" campaigns. Then all hell would break loose.
Intellectual and slogan copyright breaches aren't to be sneered at, you know. If I have an idea, no one else is - permitted - to even think the same thing, for the rest of all of human history. I had it first. It's mine, even if the second guy had never heard of me; even if I was the second guy and the first guy sneered at filthy faggotry like intellectual copyright laws. You understand?
Snicker. You understand literally nothing. Let me teach you about Verified by VISA and why you should verify your VISA, STAT!
VISA could lose your credit cards, that's why.
1.5 million people were unlucky this week. How - exactly - I'm not as certain. Why wouldn't VISA be unlucky? Why was this even fucking news.Were you concerned your card/s were one of the 1.5 million? If you were concerned that maybe 16% personal interest rates which pays for your Zero Liability weren't high enough, then maybe you should have Verified your VISA? VISA fucking warned you, already. Jesus Christ.
Would you like to change your personal greeting? Go on, talk to yourself. Say something funny like "howdy pardner". What a riot..!
Some people say the credit card system is broken. I beg to differ. I remember the week everyone was getting their knickers in a twist over VISA and MasterCard joining the government-led offensive against the villains who gave “the people” information the government of “the people” wanted to keep secret – I gnashed my teeth at those WikiLeaks traitors. Heaven forbid, if you don't follow the rules, all peace could break loose!?
Still, rules are rules. This was the position of many of my friends, and WikiLeaks broke the rules. It’s important to obey the law, except when the law is against the law (as the law pointed out, helpfully, at Nuremberg).
Still, might is right (as might believes, when it is wrong and cannot make the case, otherwise). That’s why it’s dangerous to be right when power is wrong; why would power listen? Power watches its own back, and never debates nor is required to even make a convincing argument – what Power wants, IS the convincing argument! – and this is very unfortunate for Power.
Because Power doesn’t follow me on Twitter, one of my first tweets was celebrating the fact that I might not be able to support WikiLeaks with my money; but I could still use my credit cards to support the ingenious mass email marketers who deliver non-stop limited-time offers to my Junk email Inbox.
You can’t support WikiLeaks but that’s one (1) merchant. You can support Spam just fine (that’s thousands of merchants). It’s about perspective. My perspective was all wrong. A personal email from an unknown friend alerted me to the fact that I did not have enough ham to fill my girlfriend’s ham-pocket. I panicked, but thankfully – as it turns out – those who brought me this information had ham for sale. What serendipity!
Might I suggest you Verify your VISA? This way, you can support 99% of all merchants in real-time. You don’t want delays when you are accepting the FREE MONEY! online casinos want to give you. They just need a deposit, to prove that your children and the pick-pocket who took your wallet can enter in 13 letters and 19 numbers printed on the card, accurately. You can be losing within minutes!
If you want to withdraw your own money after playing, maybe the next day, maybe four months down the line, then there are some security checks. This is for your safety (and convenience). They will not process your withdrawal until you give them proof of where your children sleep at night, and high resolution colour scans of your passport, so they can Verify with VISA that you are not a criminal fraudster who has been losing your (the real you’s) money for four months. You needn’t worry, unless you get frustrated at some point during the 18 months between your supplying this info and them not paying you. They are licensed by the website of the Seychelles Islands Gaming Commission (they will get an office, when they exist) where all disputes are subject to the laws of the island (they will get a judge, if they need one). Look, they’ve never needed one; but you could be the first to fly to Seychelles for justice and force them to stay in London or Montreal where their servers are. Try not to imagine them laughing at you standing in a Seychelles hut alone with a drunk judge who’s buttoned up his Hawaiian shirt for the big day.
Maybe they lose their licensing in Seychelles, maybe they never had any because there’s no way to verify who in Seychelles received a manila envelope with their application ‘papers’. But worst case scenario, you fly to Seychelles for holiday, they keep your money and ‘move’ licensing to Malta Lotteries & Gaming Commission (a subsidiary of the UK Gambling Commission, and regulated by the EU).
All of this is for your safety, I explained to The Malta Times & to The Guardian (with screenshots of the relevant Acts of British Parliament and Malta and the legislation signed into European ‘law’ by those jokers in Belgium; every “responsible gambling” and “anti-fraud” law being breached, by literally everyone - except the VISA customers / victims). The EU has a Commission to assess breaches, a Court of Justice to adjudicate and decide whether they agree with you or not. That’s about it, as I understand the situation. They can ask nicely? When they form a standing army, and get nuclear weapons then they can do more; but until then they’re limited to bullying bankrupt states like Greece who want high-austerity loans. Free movement of goods & services because all of Europe is equal, but of course some are more equal than others.
I had a point, I think. Oh yes, unless I was so drunk I imagined it, I showed The Malta Times and The Guardian how their respective monopoly regulatory bodies were so corrupted it was farcical, but I was sucking eggs. They knew this already. Which means The Guardian is corrupt, I thought. But I should have known that already. Either way, breaking the law is not newsworthy when you write the legislation. I have no excuse for not knowing this, I have read the Bible and Moses pointed this out, smashing God’s commandments on the ground in fury.
Quote:
Exodus 32:19 Moses’ anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.
He's allowed to break the Law, you fucking niggers. You die for a 'mistake', and it's a mistake to be dumber than a - really dumb - dog. Which you are.
Moses can break the Law because he wrote the Law. God is pragmatic, and forgiving. Mistakes happen. Revise and rewrite. Zero liability, basically. And God said, via his Middle Man Moses so what actually happened was Moses said that God told him that it wasn't no thang.
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Exodus 34:1 Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first: and I will write upon these tables the words that were in the first tables, which thou brakest.
So Moses was chillaxed, because God is literally cool. No problem homie! Are you God's homie.
No, you're not.
Whilst I was drunk and couldn't remember the chapter and verse (I do not use Google excepting emergencies) I found this little pearl. The Bible on Everything, and Other Writings. Written by God hisself but fucks me around because I forgot God was a nigger who forgot he wrote about this story already, in fucking Exodus. I was lost in Numbers. So fucking embarrassing, I could just die! There's no fucking Law in Numbers! Except of course, for the fact that the entire Bible is the literal Word of God, so that's kind of the Law when God wants to be. But it's Deuteronomy where God forgot about Exodus. Nigger has Alzheimer's. What are you going to do?
God's Wisdom # 2243 / 23409:
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Numbers 14:18 The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.
Translated into English, that basically says that Miley Cyrus is a whore. This was my interpretation, in any case.
But yes, credit cards. Every online casino in Malta will Spam the globe's email accounts with their “FREE MONEY!” offers, and then make you jump a hurdle a 3 year old child can vault before they will give you fake chips to warm up with. Then they’ll steal your money, but if you want to lose it they are cool with that as well.
Maybe tomorrow, maybe in four months, maybe 15 deposits later you want one of your deposits back? And this is not something that occurs, often; obviously. But if you aren’t a gracious loser 100% of deposits, and instead press Withdraw, then they have some ‘hoops’ for you to jump through. Your card is Verified by VISA, and this is why they need notarised proof of address, passport and bank statements. Maybe they receive everything they need for identity theft, maybe they don’t; kindly send everything again? And again. One more time. Are you sure you don’t want to gamble in the meantime? They will wait on your getting them the docs, perhaps Google lost the emails? Thank you for your understanding. This is for your safety.
Remain cordial. They don’t have to pay you if you use colorful language. Read the fine print, which says – after 30 pages – that they can do absolutely anything they like, including – but not limited to – everything. If you don’t like the terms, you shouldn’t have deposited. This is a Polite Society for a reason.
Maybe you say “keep the money, you thieves” and then you will be embarrassed when you next go to buy more ham (for your girlfriend’s over-sized ham-pocket)? Or when you buy normal ham at Safeway. Credit card troubles. Happens to all of us, when we’re broke – or blacklisted by VISA’s online casinos.
Some people think the system is broken. I beg to differ. Maybe you pay for your penile extensions with cheques or money orders? I use Verified by VISA and MasterCard to get the secrets to extending my penis size INSTANTLY. I don’t mean to brag.
You won’t be able to support WikiLeaks, but why would you want to? Are they making penises bigger? I understand you can find a ‘way’ around the rules, buying Assange ‘gifts’ and things; but unless he can give me more ham STAT, my girlfriend is going to leave me for someone who can fill her ham-pocket. Perhaps, for Assange.
But if you want to shoot yourself in the foot, VISA and MasterCard are your best friends. Nothing is broken. The system is humming perfectly; as designed. There are dozens of innovative payment solutions for anyone who wants to mass email the world offers for FREE MONEY! and URGENT: Ham Deficiency Alert emails sponsored by Spam. And VISA. If you don’t like it, no one is forcing you to use credit cards. So what’s your problem?
It’s a free country, so long as you follow the rule. Might is ‘right’.
That probably wouldn't be as ridiculous as it's panned out, if only might were bright. But might isn't bright. Might isn't even intelligent enough to think more than a few chess moves in advance. Might is solid on “optimality” in a short term vacuum. But “sustainability”?
Might cannot act in might’s best interests. But you should go tell them that. I need my credit cards. Well no, I didn't have a girlfriend as it turned out. I was panicking for no reason. But I might find a girlfriend? And if I do, I will need my credit cards. A serious ham deficiency isn't likely to simply fix itself, is it?
But you probably pay for penis extensions with cheques or money orders. God helps those that help themselves, so God and I don't really have much time for you.
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And now, a word from your sponsors.
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Numbers 21:5 And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread.
6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
No water? What fucking pussies. Who gives a fuck if you have children who are thirsty. Don't complain. Jesus Christ.
True story.
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Numbers 21:35 So they smote him, and his sons, and all his people, until there was none left him alive: and they possessed his land.
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