Originally Posted by
nextlevelshit
I dunno about handling or not handling my liquor, when I used to drink I drank to get fucked up. Not all drinkers do this.
There is no such thing as "responsible drinking" for the same reason there is there is no such thing as "responsible cutting". It's not a question of moderation, it's a question of not poisoning yourSelf.
They're so fucking creepy when they suggest 1 glass of wine per day might (I've seen no evidence presented in support of this assertion) have health benefits which would, at best, be minuscule. Of course they don't sell bottles of wine or liquor in single servings so much as in 40 standard drink servings that sit there taunting you.
Fingers crossed you're never stressed or have a bad day or just feel like you want the pain to go away, amirite? Fingers crossed you don't have a bottle of wine which hasn't been properly decanted and risks going bad unless you drink it.
It's all so fucking creepy, it's as transparent as a loud fart in an elevator with only two people. Who could be the culprit, a mystery for the ages.
Originally Posted by
Statutory Ape
My mom was telling me he wouldn't change it even after her informing him of my 4-5 total meals eaten WEEKLY and total withdrawl from society bar none.
You're literally too stupid to read the succinct and explicit and unambiguous solutions I advise. She's not your friend. Why do you believe her insulting lies to you? The question mark is for you.
Aaaaaand this was also the period in which the "control Mike" horror started. Among other things my mother forced me to vacuum and clean backrooms and mow- TIMED. And the time she decided on- 20 minutes each, not a second less.
My bathroom takes ~3, so I remember being a kid NOT playing with friends but sitting on he floor of my bathroom, finished, trying to mentally clock the time, letting water run in the sink for a while. She would catch me doing this and SCREAM at me, and-it gets better- I WOULD HAVE TO START OVER AGAIN. ANOTHER FULL 20 MINUTES CLEANING A CLEAN BATHROOM
And yet you trust her when she claims it was the doctor who screwed you. Her word against the doctor who is paid by her? Hmm. How stupid are you exactly. No question mark.
BUT THIS TIME, WITH HER STANDING OVER ME SCREAMING
And so lets add vacuuming 4 rooms another bathroom the kitchen front and back lawns 20 minutes a piece is a couple hours. But there were times I tried to skimp ~20 seconds without meaning and my chores easily took 2-3 days of pure teeth clenching screaming internal type horror.
I can't say I miss my childhood. anyone else care to chime in?
What would be the point when you're too stupid to read.
Originally Posted by
Statutory Ape
She knows to a certain extent the damage she has done-because I TELL HER EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.
And what purpose does this serve, you imbecile?
You think I'm a pain on the forum? I've been on her for a while now, she only recently apologized for leaving my dad, a good man, for a drunk JUST LIKE HER SHIT FATHER.
Well as long as she imagines or pretends to imagine to feel bad, that's all that matters right.
She has done to me what her mother did to the loser uncle I have- over loved him, to the point he was never able to fend for himself.
You know what I think of people who blame cycles for their continuation of their insanity? I've told you already.
You break the cycle.
Or you interrupt the potential to create victims, permanently.
I am not far from that reality at all....but to your point, she never did this maliciously, she wanted to PREVENT the very thing she caused by being insane and wielding too much power.
Do you think that I have motive to lie to you?
Do you think she has motive to lie to you?
How stupid are you really. No question mark. Learn how to do motive. Or kick along.
Your point is not only valid, it is thought provoking. May I ask, if you might share- HOW THE FUCK DO YOU CONVINCE WOMEN TO SEE THIS SHIT? CUZ I'VE TRIED BUDDY, AND THEY WILL SCRATCH AND BITE BEFORE YOU TAKE AWAY FAUX REALITY AND DANCING IDIOTS ON THE ZOMBIE BOX
You don't, you imbecile. If she doesn't want to remedy her actions, you need to put her out of her misery or just get the fuck away from her toxic poison. Are you doing either? There's the answer to your insanity.
I'VE ABOUT HAD IT WITH YOU AND THIS BULLSHIT DRIBBLING AMAZING SHIT WITHOUT MAKING A CLEAR PRINTABLE VERSION REPLETE WITH DIRECTIONS FOR DISPENSING IN A CROWDED ROOM
I cannot write. I swear to god Steerpike's 'brutal' truth was the Truth I needed to snap out of the delusional idea that I could write but hadn't been able to do so for various reasons. I know where I got this delusional idea from. Vassals who fell on their face when I achieved things they could only dream of and they were trying to exploit me for 'secrets' which don't exist. I have insight but then if you're not prepared to do the work, of what value is my assistance?
WHY DO YOU DO THAT? IT'S SICKENING TO TRY AND EXPLAIN THIS STUFF TO PEOPLE, THINKING I SOUND LIKE YOU, BUT I SOUND LIKE ME WHO'S TRYING TO SOUND LIKE YOU, AND PEOPLE NOD AND WALK SOMETIMES.
Because I can do anything I set my mind to do, but I would not be sane to imagine I could write like le Carre or DASSK, and they are saying what I am saying in ways more brilliant than I _could_ be capable of. So why would I try with the knowledge that to expect to succeed when they are not succeeding with capacity I am not capable of matching, could somehow be rational or sane?
I WISH YOU WOULD WRITE A BOOK OF FIVE, AND I WILL TYPE THEM. TODAY SOUNDS LOVELY, YOU UP FOR IT?
I mean it.
I will write Mai's story as best I can. It is the story that has the capacity to change the world, or it would if people wanted to be sane. Or it would if someone like le Carre or Jacobson could write it for me. I will write it as best I can and it will be decent but it will not impact vassals in ways le Carre cannot impact vassals with Truth. le Carre saved me but then I wanted to be happy and sane and understand what caused my suffering.
Many people claim to want this but they are lying. They just want magic solutions which don't exist; especially when they already know everything. Yes, the insanity hasn't gone unnoticed by me. Very little insanity does, except my own; for that, I need people to point it out to me. You haven't the capacity to fucking do a damn thing. When I say I need people pointing out where I'm drifting away from the Central Logic Base, I mean I need people who have the capacity to make a logical case.
Make a logical case and I will always come back home to Sanity and Ration and Reason. I have always done this and always will be capable of doing this, because I _want_ to be Correct. I do not want to be _thought_ to be Correct. The difference between me and the world is so vast, I'm literally a freak. It took me a long time to understand that no one else really wants to be Correct. They just want to scream.
I have self diagnosed as such via online personality tests (which 100% of the time end up giving me a "danger danger" outcome, which i of course ignore, having no capacity to treat the situation.
You aren't helping. I had BPD, and then? I have a few decades of what to look forward to? Trust that I would much rather bite a bullet than even another month of my life, to this point.
There is not a mental illness which isn't caused by structural chemical damage which cannot be unimagined. It is imagined. How can you not understand that you can unimagine it? You're not even interest in trying. All you're interested in is screaming. You will need to silence yourSelf soon if you cannot address the Borderline Personality Disorder which is so clinical you would have to be a candidate for some kind of case study; or I suppose they have so many clones like you they're flat out just trying to wring their hands at why the electricity shocks to brains like yours cannot fluke success.
You're not even interested in trying. You need to silence yourSelf or you will suffer. I have power you cannot imagine because I will never show it unless I have to. But when the time comes, you will learn the horror of Power when you refuse to take control of yourSelf. That's when you give your tiny power to people like me and mark my words, you will scream. I'm not threatening you. I'm informing you.
Is there something in my writing and evidence presented in support of who I am that leads you to believe I'm capable of bluffing? Try me. I'm unemotional either way. I do not impress mySelf when I exercise power but if exercised for humane reasons, I can make that happen for you.
bravo, you managed to tell me what I knew at 18 sleeping on the floor of a crack house, which was STILL BETTER THAN LIVING ANYWHERE NEAR MY MOTHER. She's wronged me, ok, so? I can't take time back, why blame her and be mean? What good's it doing anyone?
You lie so much it's just disgusting and a waste of time trying to communicate with you.
Originally Posted by
Statutory Ape
She knows to a certain extent the damage she has done-because I TELL HER EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.
You're so batshit insane with your lying I don't even know why I'm supposed to be dishonest and pretend that you are capable of warranting staying alive.
my time and emotions are better spent not vilifying anyone, IMHO.
Shut the fuck up. Your lying is so insane you should beat your stupid face until you become sane. I dunno. I'm not one for electro-shock therapy but I'm starting to understand a little bit how doctors who don't have answers to insanity like yours are desperate to try anything.
Originally Posted by
Statutory Ape
She knows to a certain extent the damage she has done-because I TELL HER EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.
You imbecile, I want to drag people down 'with me' did you say? wow.
That is literally all you do when you scream your misery into the world and make your excuses and ignore the brilliant sanity some of the finest minds on the planet are giving you by sheer fluked luck. Which you do not convert into anything beneficial for you.
show me ONE single time a person has said not only "this is the problem" but also "HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO TO FIX IT"
Oh you fucking worthless shell of a shell of a (have you ever been human?). I never present problems without at least a proposal for a solution. You're just too stupid to be worth the oxygen you breathe.
Your mother raised you with Fantasy knowing full well you would face-plant when you hit reality. You cannot cope with Reality because you were not prepared to cope with it. But that's not the entire story. You were maliciously setup to ensure you wouldn't cope with it. That way, you would need your Protection Racketeer of a mother.
You need to get so far away from her, that you never speak or think or feel her poisonous toxic evil at all, if possible. Or you can stay close to the leech. No one cares except for her.
I am always left with that 'minor detail' and confounded-self cure BPD? ADHD? Depression??
I'm very nearly ready to pull the plug on you. You're so fucking lazy and worthless, you're a disgrace to Humanity. WORK YOU FUCKING LEECH. GOOGLE SOME FUCKING ANSWERS. I SPOON FEED YOUR STUPID FACE AND YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT BEING HELPED.
Help yourSelf or help yourSelf to peace. Get a rope. Fashion a sturdy knot forming a noose. Affix one end to an overhanging beam with a chair underneath. Place noose around your neck after climbing onto the chair.
Then take one small step for yourSelf and one giant leap for Mankind. It literally doesn't matter. Either / or will work.
growing tired of this, and you, very quickly
Oh no. Will you stop remunerating me for my brilliance?
I have known that for some time.
You don't know fucking shit unless I tell you. You have no fucking idea about the power of minds. Do I really need to remind you what I have proved, at risk of feeling creepy, but which is necessary because this is a world were imbeciles like you claim things you cannot verify because they are demented lies.
Who else is involved in ME besides you?
I'm not involved with you, you fucking imbecile. Your emotional insanity distorts everything. When I say I'm conducting social experiments on you, it's for the sake of Humanity. You're a worthless lab rat but only because you refuse to graduate to becoming a hamster. If you could and did, you would reach Phase 2 of my social experiments. There are literally more phases than your hobbled mind can comprehend. You're stuck at Phase 1. I'm not failing you. I'm conducting an experiment that is akin to dissecting a frog to find out why it refuses to jump out of the pot which is placed on a slow boil.
If you think that means we're involved, you should watch a YouTube video of the biology experiment of dissection. You're the frog. Is the frog involved with the dissector? Idiot.
You disgust me at times, please refrain from classifying yourself a human being. I find it insulting.
There is no one that I am aware of who is more humane than I am, with the exception of David Cornwell and Aung San Suu Kyi. I live every day in anticipation of adding more names to that list.
You are incapable of producing anything but screams. I'm dissecting you but you should know what happens at the end of the experiment. You will rest in peace or you will be silenced. You will not be examined indefinitely.
Linear Mode
