Religion blurred the line between Sanity and Insanity by making it 'naughty'. And now morons are in a race to shoot themselves in their own faces; driving the line of 'acceptability' younger and younger. Go into a Ratchada pyramid altar to Thailand's exploitation of "pretty" and there are fucking 11 and 12 year old babies. I have seen them! My instinct was fury, because these fucking girls. I understood it's hard for them, most of them being single mothers etc. It was only when I tried to work out which of the washed-up whores could even be old enough to be the mother of these children sitting in the corner of the room that I started twitching a little bit.
"Surely not."
"No. no no no no way. Hah."
"Wouldn't that be horrifying. But you're really too cynical these days."
This is what I was thinking, looking around for the cleaner who should NOT have brought their daughters to work with them. I was looking at them, looking around, looking for someone or some way for this to make SENSE - when the manager of the place saw me looking and got dollar signs in front of his eyes.
You need to understand, almost no one pays them a second thought. They're not fuckable. Humans aren't pedophiles; pedophilia is INSANITY. But then this is a very religious world and they are there to capitalize on insanity. Or as the manager of this Ratchada multi-level brothel in Thailand's illegal sex industry labeled it...those with a "discerning eye for ladies".
Maybe I should get him to write Mai's story.
Thais are horrifyingly pragmatic. Way - WAY - too pragmatic to be sane, but they're merely meeting the market with supply for what the victims of religion demand. It's expensive. I was surprised. I couldn't speak so I had to listen.
20,000 baht. It was like 3000 for stunning girls. 2000 or 1500 for washed-up 22 year olds and shit. 20,000 for an unfuckable child. Pedophiles will say these things are subjective; we're all entitled to an opinion - but if I say your mother is going to love riding on my...I know what pedophiles think about opinions. It's not subjective. You cannot fuck children. They're unfuckable in the way Harley's dog wasn't fuckable.
If you think it's 'naughty' or fun, I guess you can do whatever the fuck you like but it doesn't mean your opinion is valid.
I was accidentally very shrewd. The manager mistook my horror for shrewd negotiation skills. I literally stared at the girls without blinking. He negotiated with himself, going down to 10k at one point before a 'second' pedophile joined the fun and games; at which point the manager went back up to 15k and settled on 13k as his final price. I never engaged him.
The pedophile was shrewdly deciding whether he was willing to part with that much money for one of these two children. He had his eye on the slightly older one, but he was very courteous. Very polite. He understood, I was there first. He didn't want to jump the gun whilst I was still deciding. He was quite charming, really. I was trying to breathe.
I got there. I'm a survivor. I cracked a joke. It wasn't a very good one, but when everyone is having fun, anything you say is funny.
"13,000?" I whistled. "And she'd be about 13?" The manager confirmed she was - indeed - 13. I have no doubt she would be 11 or 15 had I 'confirmed' either. For her part, she never said a word. She just stared at me, without blinking. Willing me to blush, and turn away. I can play chicken. I can even crack lame jokes whilst playing chicken.
"13 for 13." I turned to the pedophile, who was clearly willing me not to take her. He wanted her so badly, but of course; etiquette precluded his being rude. "It's a bargain", I said to him. "Only 1000 per year!"
It wasn't a very funny joke. Actually, it's not funny at all. But you should have heard the laughter. They were bent over double, clapping me on the back and I lost the game of chicken.
I want to blame the filthy touching but the truth is, I was simply outclassed. I was never going to win there and it's not like I could just stand there, staring at her all day. I'm a busy guy. I've got things to do. People to see. Places to go. But mostly, I couldn't just stare at her all day as the most horrifying creeps in the world ran their hands over my back at my 'hilarity'.
She was a little punk. She didn't even blink. I wished the pedophile 'luck', he thanked me graciously; I shook the manager's hand and walked out. They were still chuckling softly - and I'd wager anything she wouldn't have broken that glare - as I opened the front door to the mega-brothel and walked out into the scorching Ratchada sun.
It was two in the afternoon. The restaurants were packed with the lunch crowd. The police kept a vigilant eye on the busy Huay-Kwang intersection from their watchtower, about 40 yards away. I strode past them confidently, remembering I needed to grab some clean glass unless I wanted to tilt myself attempting to clean one of my used ones. Have you ever cleaned a meth pipe? It's a real bitch. They're not really disposable but I just throw them away after use because you can poison yourself with alcohol and housekeeping will clean horrifying filth like human excrement, sweat-soaked grimy sheets covered in semen, blood, vomit, snot and other things you don't even want to imagine and they'll do all that and more for you with tender sympathy and gentle care. Well they would if you were 'generous' with your tips, but I know how shrewd you are. But housekeeping would be uncomfortable and even horrified if you begged them to clean a glass pipe for you; what with the filth of a junkie's lips at one end and the blackened smudge left by an open flame at the other. I understand their position and fuck if I'm going to clean that shit so I skipped past the police officers and turned onto the main road in Huay-Kwang to pick up 'disposable' pipes in bulk.
There are a number of stores selling meth pipes and and other ingenious illicit-drug smoking aids along the main road which turns into the Huay-Kwang night market bazaar. At night. I was momentarily confused until I realised, of course, the specific store I was looking for was never going to be open that early in the day. I wonder if the early pedophile birds get the juiciest worms? It stands to reason; after all, this is a "who comes first, gets served" kind of world.
Would it be rude to have an issue with the fact that pedophiles help themselves to all of the worms? You know why a 22 year old prostitute is washed up, in Thailand? It's funny, really; you'll never guess.
It's because they're WASHED UP whores.
By the time a child in the sex industry is fuckable, she'd have been fucked over a thousand times. The 17, 18 year old stunners in the luxurious and dignified establishment I had only just departed - after relaxing with a drink and sharing a few laughs in good-natured camaraderie with other wealthy and distinguished gentlemen - the premium-tiered 4000 baht girls; they've been fucked thousands of times already. They go home after six customers a day, if they don't want to work overtime; and they don't take holidays. Not even at Songkran. That's the busy season. That's a joke, of course.
Girls as pretty as those teenagers are busy every day of their life. There is time for relaxing, when you're dead; or when you are dying, I suppose. Fucking faggots and intravenous drug users. Fucking junkies and queers giving everyone their monkey-fucking AIDS.
But you can do maths, right? You're not as stupid as you look, I'm assuming. Run the maths. 6 x 365 = 1 year. They're 17 or 18. They've had sex thousands of times by the time they're fuckable. I just think it's unfair, is all. Pedophiles are WINNING the game!
I'm hilarious, really. Of course no one wins, at all. That moronic buffoon pedophile who thought I was hilarious; he has to play demented games with himself. There was no purity or innocence that girl. Her precocious was 'enjoyed' by some 'lucky' man, roughly one thousand customers ago. Or didn't you understand what all the staring was about?
No one can win. Do you know what it's like to have sex with a human who has literally been bred for sex and nothing else? Thais have perfected the future. They're so far ahead of you, it's hilarious. They're decades in front. Go to Thailand and you'll see the future of the entire world, happening now.
My stomach lurched as I realised the stores I wanted to reward with my custom couldn't be expected to open that early in the day. And whenever I play chicken with child prostitutes, I have to smoke shortly after. It's just my routine. Cursing the early hour and knowing it would take me an hour to clean blackened glass, I spun around in the middle of the street to head back to my hotel across the road.
I dipped my head to the officers, who were enjoying their lunch and watching a football match in their air-conditioned digs. Not a bad job, being a Thai cop. But they do a pretty damn good job, in reality. Pragmatism is the hallmark of intelligence, and Thais are the most pragmatic people in the world. The officer who caught my gaze as I walked back past their tower quickly dabbed his mouth with his handkerchief before responding with a respectful - but very relaxed - two-finger salute before turning his attention back to the football as I waited for the lights to change to the legal colour for road-crossing.
I may be a discerning gentleman, widely considered to be hilarious and unfailingly courteous to all; but I am not above the law. The law is there for my safety. Law & Order is not just a popular American TV show, you know. The officers and I watched Bolton sweep upfield for a minute or two, whilst I waited for the traffic light system to register the absence of danger in order to "give the green light" - you might say - to my walking ten yards across the empty road. There weren't any cars, as far as I could see - which is pretty far, a kilometer or so - but what if were cars! Did you think about that? If there were cars, driving the way cars drive - it's so fast! - and I went toe-to-toe with them fighting for the same piece of the road, I might wish there were laws that protect me from fighting with motor vehicles. I know what you're thinking; you're thinking you're too smart to fight motor vehicles moving at near-death-defying speeds (not near enough, for some - LOL). But you wouldn't be thinking that if you weren't paying attention one day and broke the law. You could DIE for doing something that stupid. Why are you in such a hurry, bigshot? Why can't you just wait for the law to tell you when it's safe?
It's people like you that ruin the whole system for the rest of us; and if it were up to me, I'd have those officers throw the BOOK at you.
The law is there to protect you. From you. And knowing you, that's a lucky thing for you.
The computerised traffic light system looked left to the sensor in the road on my left, then looked right to the sensor in the road on my right, and then back to the left again. And then back to the right. It does this non-stop, I'm just slowing it down for you so that you can understand. Also, I want you to understand how long I was waiting for the computers to realise that it was SAFE. When the computer realised there weren't any cars which might prevent my walking 10 yards safely; it gave any surprise cars that weren't there yet the RED light (just in case one came flying out of nowhere) and it gave me the GREEN light because it was my turn to be king of the road.
Well I would still die, of course; if a car broke the law. But that is why it's important for us all to work together on not breaking the law. One criminal like you could destroy faith in the entire pedestrian crossing system.
And before you know it, people are looking both ways again like they used to do in the old days before we learned how to trick technology into doing our jobs for us. No one would trust the computers to tell them when it's SAFE to walk across roads. All that head-swiveling. And being forced to make judgment calls. With your bad judgment?
It would be anarchy.
People like you ruin things for everyone. If it were up to me, I'd throw the BOOK at you until you learned to respect and obey the law. If you didn't want to play by the rules, and couldn't be taught; there should be a three-strike system before compulsory sentencing takes care of the likes of you. In a perfect world, I mean.
That was about how long I waited, but then I've been unfair to you. I got to watch Bolton move upfield before turning the ball over (which might never happen in a football match again) before I got the green light to legally cross the empty road. You have to read about it. UNFAIR. No pictures! Just this wall of text.
But suck shit. Life isn't fair, BUDDY. Some of us are born with red hair ROFL. Can you imagine being that unlucky?
They would probably get rejected even if they had 13,000 baht to INVEST on FUN. Snicker.
When I got the green light to legally walk, I was nervous. At any moment, the officers might turn to look and make sure I was doing it right. Concentrating hard, I placed one foot in front of the other because that is the correct way to begin a legal road crossing maneuver. I then placed the other foot in front, which is the textbook technique and before I knew it, I was able to breathe a sign of relief. I had done it. I had safely walked for ten yards across the empty road.
The hotel was still 40 meters away though. So I took a cigarette from my pack with the government warning on it; letting me know that smoking kills.
Like I care?
It's nice to know the government cares, though. Whenever I smoke, I think about Malaysia. Isn't that annoying how you think about Malaysia whenever you smoke a cigarette? With any luck, it will be. I always think about Malaysia because smoking is against the Qur'an - just like banking (no usury) - but religion is subjective. Maybe Allah meant what he said. Maybe he meant the opposite. You don't know he didn't mean the opposite. We all have a right to our opinions, unless we're drug mules.
Then you have the right to die. Because how else will you LEARN?
Take ecstasy tablets into Malaysia and you could fucking die. Well they have to kill you because ecstasy is dangerous. In like 2002, this girl who was too stupid to drink water got hyperventilated. AND SHE WAS TAKING ECSTASY.
Ecstasy is against the Qur'an. The only deaths from it in Malaysia are victimized drug mules. 60% of people smoke though. But the government warns them not to.
What more can the government do? Babysit them through their entire lives? They do their best to do that, but at some point you gotta take responsibility for you.
I laughed about Malaysians because it's like 70% secular ROFL. I know. Soon to be 0% secular. But how? Let me tell you.
Malaysians are just like you.
Religion doesn't interest them. And no one wants to be rude. Everyone has a right to their opinion, don't they? They do. If you disagree, your opinion doesn't matter.
Well, we'll see what the Morality Police have to say. They are volunteers who are sick of the law lackadaisical attitude to your being a shitty Muslim and not following the Qur'an's rules.
"But I'm not Muslim."
#thingsthatnooneeversaysinaShariastate
I had a smoke because I was bored. Then an hour later, after I'd cleaned a dirty piece of glass, I had a smoke because I'm sick to death of creeps.
And I'm sick to death of you.
---------------------------------
The joke's on pedophiles, of course. It's also on you, but mostly; it's on pedophiles because they chase illusions of innocence. This is what drives them. That and the 'naughty'. But mostly, they don't like WASHED UP whores that are 17 and have been fucked by thousands of different men. So they pay top dollar to get in first.
Or near enough. Within the first thousand is widely considered to be pretty good.
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