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Old 11-23-2014, 10:26 AM   #31
Sonatine's hidden salami
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Originally Posted by DankBlaniels View Post
I hate replying to rep but in this case i will.

well thank you so very much for making mention of the fact that you are going out of your way to oblige us all with a response.

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This is one of the things that tilts me the most about your writing.

Ah, yes, do tell us all how you feel as quickly as possible.

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Often you will start telling a story then go off on a massive tangent, start ranting about the bible or whatever and then not finish the story.

Is that what he does"? How does that make you feel?
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It seems like when you write you dive right in there with a basic idea and then basically make it up as you go along. Maybe you need to make a plan before you start and stick to it.

SCUTER IS THIS TRUE? ARE YOU DIVING RIGHT INTO THINGS AND THEN MAKING IT UP AS YOU GO ALONG?

ANSWER THIS MAN, DON'T YOU CARE HOW HE FEELS??

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For sure i am not the best person to be giving feedback as i m not much of a writer as i lack the patience but that is my opinion. If you did decide to write a book about your life it would definately make interesting reading. I would certainly be keen to read it am sure many others would and not just those who know you through the forums.

frankly I am fucking stunned that this was not the work of a teary eyed 8 year old boy writing a letter to santa clause begging for a bb gun and for his brothers not to all die in japan or something...carry on, I suppose...

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Maybe a good way to try and get started would be to break your life down in to different stages and then start writing a little bit about each one.

yup
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Make sure you keep each chapter just about that subject and then add to them or change them later on.

you betcha

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Try to avoid coming across as preaching to the reader and just concentrate on your experiences.

maybe he does try? i'm just saying, is all...
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i rubbed one out at some gay dude's house for a 10 sack not that long ago.

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Old 11-23-2014, 03:36 PM   #32
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I RUN SHIT BEST BELIEVE
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i rubbed one out at some gay dude's house for a 10 sack not that long ago.

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Old 11-23-2014, 05:49 PM   #33
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jeremy lin is such a christian faggot, way to waste a harvard education you fucking moron
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Old 11-23-2014, 05:55 PM   #34
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Make me the happiest boy in the world Joel. Marry me and make me Ms. Robuchon. <3
 
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watching kobe go for 6 for 25 every night playing zero defense while making 25 mill a year will show him theres no god heeeyoooo
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Old 11-23-2014, 05:55 PM   #35
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Make me the happiest boy in the world Joel. Marry me and make me Ms. Robuchon. <3
 
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but seriously kobe thank you for all you do in tanking this team we need that top 5 protected pick yall
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Old 11-24-2014, 11:02 AM   #36
Sonatine's hidden salami
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but seriously kobe thank you for all you do in tanking this team we need that top 5 protected pick yall

I'm fucking speechless-you're a forum bot of some kind, aren't you? A computer program, some early AI experiment or something like that. not trying to be rude on purpose, just trying to convey how i feel through somewhat unimaginative media. mmkay?

okay
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i rubbed one out at some gay dude's house for a 10 sack not that long ago.

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Old 11-24-2014, 04:06 PM   #37
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Make me the happiest boy in the world Joel. Marry me and make me Ms. Robuchon. <3
 
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i cant even tell if this human grape is trying to sass mouth me or not
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Old 11-24-2014, 04:46 PM   #38
Bobby Wong
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gare just got sassed right out of his shorts yall
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Old 11-24-2014, 04:52 PM   #39
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Just giving you the business.
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