This is what happens when you force me to do content. Let's make it a lesson learned.
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Talking about today feels presumptuous as literally anything can yet happen. It feels like tempting fate and I don't subscribe to such bravado.
So I will always be talking about yesterday in any of these Dear Internet Diary efforts that your lack of content forces me to attempt. Also yesterday can include previous days that blur in my mind to 'yesterday'.
Yesterday was faggot. I was bored and had decided to continue my responsibilities in the delivering of Fair and Just Rep on Boreus [dish-style]. To my shock, I discovered the Master of Terrible had seen through my cunning plans to discredit his sleazy attempts to creep out his ugly female newcomers - and he had taken away my Rep.
I admired the play, but I was forced to react somehow. He could not be allowed to simply win again. It was at this moment my elderly friend gay sex demanded I return to Skatz. What seemed a ludicrous idea only moments earlier now appeared to have some merit. I asked the Magic Eight Ball if I should and she said "Maybe". I took that as a Yes.
Within my first 50 posts, I had tilted my friend Steerpike into demanding a 48 hour ban. Reasons are not yet known. I had tilted my friend Cobson into blocking me on Skype and threatening to block my PMs. Reasons are known and boil down to my fierce desire for validation when I win an argument [Cobson is a proud man from a long line of proud men with gigantic heads that hats simply tentatively balance on rather than sit (let alone fit) - he doesn't apologise and nor he should]. And I had tilted my friend gay sex into being in a bad mood. Reasons are known and largely resemble his seniority being exposed to all and sundry. I'm sure other people were tilted here and there but I cannot be expected to keep a running tally.
But what did I care? e-friends are like Monopoly money. You cannot rely on them to pass inspection when you attempt to barter them like real currency.
In high spirits [only possible when holding tentative or temporary leads in the sum total of Slot Tournaments that I know of on the Internet], I commenced some poker. Tilt ensued. Fags wouldn't play me. Then they would play 3 hands. Stop. Sitout 20 min. Play 10 hands. Stop. If their strategy was to wear down my Zen, they did so masterfully. Unfortunately for them, Zen is for faggots and I play hof when tilted.
Fortunately for them, 2009 woke up from it's slumber horny and made a beeline for my button.
I mostly played 25/50 and 10/20. Results were not to my advantage.
25/50 - 204 hands - loss 9387 units. 10/20 - 550 hands - loss 7874 units. Chuck in some Slots downswinging and I lost 20,000 units. Considering winning at poker doesn't put a smile on my dial, you can only imagine how filthy I felt losing this many units at such a faggot game. You wouldn't pay for lodging at Guantanamo.
To add faggot to the faggotry, I actually played [more or less] like god. But with 2009 against you, god is powerless.
Here are some examples [you make me do content, you pay the price]:
His play here is so similar to what I'd do it stings a little. I don't snap sets though, so in that sense, his line is clearly more optimal. But literally even his bet sizing is like deja vu and I can't shake the feeling I'm being cloned somehow. Beaten by a younger, luckier version of me...or something.
This hand was faggot cause I was literally about to head out to get this urgent scan I needed for the shipping company who are going to steal / break all my shit cause insurance is faggot. Like, I had one foot out the door and this faggot is so fucking bad I don't have the adjectives. I believe duomar sums it up best:
2 Comments Latest by duomarAce: Loooool u bumhunting loooooser
Like onestep, bums is what he hunts. And like onestep, he does not hunt them well. $-167,578 is his record on iPoker since Aug or w/e. That's not sustainable Terrible - he's one of the worst players of poker since Doyle Brunson. And to flop trips with him as I'm walking out on a errand ["mini-adventure for poor people" - Karen (Will & Grace) <3] left me feeling like my bum had been [successfully] goatsee'd.
Not much to say there except that NiceSevens is a total fag. Who actually, has some genuine talent. But he only starts playing well when he's not scared and that only happens when he's upswinging. He'll leave if stacked and play solid / very slick if he stacks someone. And he's only 3 stacks deep there because he stacked me like this a few hands earlier:
That's all my stack-offs for the entire day. 1 goes in the "Cooler Setup v World-Class Donk 2009 Standard" section. 4 go in the "2009 LOL Standard" section.
And I continue to be a poker Black Swan - $ for skill, the poorest talented player online - although the poor part of that is largely due to my savvy Investing Expense incurred learning the tricks of the Slot Tournament Industry....an investment which has already delivered the self-proclaimed title of "Best Slot Tournament Player in the World" but which will soon deliver mountains of United States Dollars in piles so large I simply will be too good for you all and will have to go snack on caviar with gay sex and ivey30.
I'm sick of slumming it with you good people - I guess is what I'm saying. But on the very slim chance Slots doesn't make me rich, I would beg you not to hold the above admissions against me. That would be unfair.
Not much else happened yesterday - that I can remember. Sent a 2nd attempt at contact to my jilted friend and was ignored a 2nd time. 1 unanswered attempt is my limit unless you're a cute girl who is unfortunate enough to be listed in my phone between 2-6am on a Sunday morning. So to contact him 2x with no response feels like I've pretty much maxed out my options - if Fake Delaware has nothing for me, I guess that...as the Inshallah-inclined say....is that.
I feel I should end this on a positive note.
Not sure what that even means, if it's not meant literally. And if it is, one is forced to wonder "Why?"
But ignore that. Ellen Page is smart / cute. That's about as positive as this mundane rigged world gets, I'm almost certain...
Also hof Admin, can we fix the time limit for the "last edited" message - like I just edited punctuation there and it looks like I've removed something that might have been "on 2nd thought..."
I rarely think once, let alone twice. And I dislike my editing to give the impression that I do.
Punctuation, on the other hand, is not to be trifled with. I subscribe to run-on sentences, and I don't know where ; - , and ... are best used so I use them interchangeably.
But full stops and apostrophes. I'm literally all over that shit. Except for the it's its stuff - that shit is dyslexic confusing and I don't care for it.
scooter, did you consider the possibility that you couldn't rep because you didn't post? neverstop instituted some kind of post to rep ratio. i don't know what the ratio is, but a bunch of us thought we lost our ability to rep, and once we posted, the rep box was back.
What I did today. Vol. 2
Linear Mode
