Originally Posted by
Apes of Wrath
You know this how?
I feel it in my gut? The one that doesn't laugh because you're not funny.
You pretend to be an expert at everything, but it's all in your head.
You just accuse me of pretending to be an expert after I say I cannot write. Mike, when the brain fails you gotta do the right thing. NO could sound like YES to you. You're loose, man. You gotta tighten it up and make a clean exit.
Sadly you are actually a very good writer
If only your opinion had value. Well I have one reader. Humanity needs me to be john le Carre but even john le Carre is not permitted to be john le Carre, so I think we can sign off on the species without adding to the emotional stew. I cannot fucking read some of the shit I write, so I'm pretty comfortable with the Obvious. Stop doing your filthy insulting degrading shit where you force my OCD to correct your insanity. I am okay with that, but in this instance it could get so creepy you would have to put on a wig and call me honey and tell me how you're doing your best under difficult circumstances and ask me to be less difficult before threatening me and then forgetting to wait for my response to the ultimatum, moving straight into This hurts me more...and I can see how this could get so much more ugly so much quicker than it ever needs to be. Stop correcting sanity.
Just stop. Breathing.
When you're not emotionally insane, you're able to be pragmatic and objective and unemotional and this affords you a capacity to be correct in ways you've never been able to afford. I am not a good writer. I am not interested in your filthy sleaze. I'm not even all that uncomfortable with it. It's not a big deal. It's only embarrassing when you're incorrect. You understand? You never have. Being useless is not a big deal. Being useless and imagining you're useful, is the Christian insanity suffocating the world. If you understood that you're useless, I would not be forced to 'argue' against my capacity as if I were fishing for more of your emotional vile.
Not only do I have two, I have shaved them once until they were very presentable.
Do you know why you do this John? Why you "stopped running" precisely where you did?
The things I know that you don't know and will never be in a position to illuminate for me, are - more or less - ordered sequentially under the heading
Everything.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO BALLS. It takes guts and courage to actually COMPETE with other human beings.
Well you might be onto something. Aside from this one time where I stood up to the hierarchy of an infamous religious sex cult for nine years without cracking once, I have lived a cowardly existence. By the way, no one else has actually done that in history, not even for a few months.
I ran away from that cult with 0 dollars and 0 cents and 0 education and 0 clothes but the rags on my back. I had 0 home and 0 clue and 0 prospects and 0 chance of success, rounded to nearest percentage. But I wasn't entirely destitute Mike because I had 0 of your self-harming drive. I had 0 desire to stay ignorant. I had 0 determination to imagine I needed to pretend to know things I didn't. I had 0 need to prove myself to anybody but me. I had 0 hangups Mike. I had 0 chips on my back. Which means it was only going to be a matter of time before it became a issue of dividing by 0 to find out how many of these I needed in my bank balance to be happy: 0. The answer, was far less than you'd imagine. It's closer to 0 than you'd think. Don't get excited Mike, you haven't backdoored your way into a win. I know that's what you were going for. You have a march back to 0 that would strike fear into the heart of Edmund Hilary. Why not take a rest and breathe 0 / min?
Also I could
read. So, unlike you, I had that. You do not read. You have no comprehension ability. You skim looking for another 'opportunity' to urinate. It's easy to confuse the two, when you guzzle urine and swill the Golden brew between your missing teeth.
________
I enrolled for my first day of school at 14. This required stones. It was a bad-ass state school Mike. I was an undersized, terrified kid. First day was Year 10. I knew so little, I couldn't understand the language being spoken. I spoke in the King James Bible English; the version you've never heard of because you have so little interest in your own religion it's comically terrifying. But these kids did not speak like King James' scholars. They were speaking something else, entirely. 3 years later I left to fly for the military, wowing grown men into getting horrifyingly creepy in their exuberant public raving. My creepy manipulation worked much better in private. Being selected to fly for the military is not as easy as you'd feel it would be, Mike; when you announce your intention to succeed. But before you talk about how you're going to match or emulate me, close your mouth for a moment and gargle the urine. Then spit it out and get back to me.
Spit it out Mike. Where is it Mike. Oh. My. God. Do not swallow your urine, you sick puppy. You're a catastrophe.
_________
Another time, I was going to be sent to WWIII, and I didn't have a legal leg to stand on. I was forced to wobble over that high rope on my testes. I said "No." A year later, they said "Yes." That took balls, Mike; of the stones variety. When you have stones, you are uncertain about the whole killing thing. When you have been cuckolded for your entire life, you can kill and splash your insane violence around, almost piously.
_________
At points in the journey from 0.01/0.02FL to 100/200NL, testicles were required.
But of course, poker is like alcohol. The highs are lame and the lows destroy you.
_________
If you have some experience in the medical industry or in radiology, you will recognise hard evidence when you see it.
_________
In conclusion, I have as many as two balls. I have even shaved them on this one occasion until they shone with a well-presented glossy veneer.
What I do not have, is writing talent that doesn't exist. I have no literary techniques to tell stories to vassals or to non-vassals (which are also known as vassals-in-denial). I only have the vaguest idea of literary techniques after reading a Wikipedia page following Steerpike's perfectly correct analysis. You've never done one of those. You wouldn't know what it feels like to be right, for once in your miserable existence of urine-swilling.
I am not a story-teller. Until I read that Wikipedia page, I had no idea you had to tell a story to tell a story. I imagine much like you have no idea you have to know something to advise someone.
If you did, you might be willing to put your work out there, see what people think, instead of wallowing in self pity alone and away from the civilized world.
What people will think is known to those who detail to them what they are to think, in the stories they read. I couldn't give a toss about whether or not creeps like my story, but if they don't like it they won't read it. If they won't read it, what's the point in writing it. I've lost you at "think", haven't I?
Your opinions are wrong. 100% of them. Stop having them.
You are smart, maybe too smart, and this is where it hurts you most
In the Philippines? Not only do I have no equals, I'm not sure there is another human in the country.
In Thailand? Not only is everyone effectively superior to me, but there are beggars who would sneer at you quite validly. No one likes a urine-swilling creep.
Who amongst your inner circle has as much money or is as intelligent and/or good looking as you? be honest.
Honestly, what the fuck is this filthy yellow drizzle bubbling out of the corner of your horrifying mouth.
Climb to the top of a tall building and do a backflip off it. What is the problem here? What's blocking your progress. What's the fucking holdup?
Like I redundantly said a few times too many, get the fuck out of thailand and make something of yourself. Or don't, I'm losing interest.
But no one ever asked for your 'opinion'. If someone was that stupid, they could find themselves trapped in a German romantic opera. "That damn Mike."
Luckily no one - possibly not even newborns in Thailand - would be capable of being that dumb. If they're superior to me, they're going to be lightyears above you. Look at the Thai stars, above you.
I have a tendency to dwell on things when I shouldn't, particularly when I have too much time on my hands. This can easily be misconstrued as "caring too much", which is an incorrect assumption.
Mike you are unemployable. Unfriendable. Insane. You're going to have too much time on your hands until you idly fashion the noose for your neck. What are you afraid of. Going to sleep?
What do you care, anyway?
I have simultaneous multipathed interests that I am pursuing in this matter.
Hardly any at all. I look for tough critics, people who will give me truth, not sweet nothings.
Focus on the light.
You have NO RANGE, NONE! It's charles dickens all the time 24/7 no laughs no humour no jokes no fun NOTHING! EVER!!! super serious and then even MORE serious and, when you haven't slept, you turn venomous and hostile, downright intolerable.
In short, you are not the most pleasant human being to communicate with, and that is me being VERY polite about it.
I thought it was because I had no balls? Now I have no RANGE? It's almost like you are saying that I cannot write. No, that would be insane. And you are sane. Does not compute.
Sadly you are actually a very good writer
I perceive the imperceptible and have a photographic, very nearly eidetic memory, do you really think I fail to detect sneering and sarcasm? Think about that.
I think you would miss Roseanne Arnold sitting on you.
Wrong. I have actually determined my biggest trigger, and i'd share that with you (i can promise you it would be fascinating for you) but---I don't like you anymore.
No Mike. Please. Give me another chance. I must have this information about you. I must. I just must.
Mommy?
It started with my not trusting you (at all) and now it's moved to a new dimension where I no longer like you, I don't trust you, and half the time I can barely understand you.
I cannot imagine why. I tell you to kill yourself in every post I write. What's more, I never lie. And you know this. I am 100% certain that you should do the right thing.
Where is all this hostility of yours coming from Mike? I'm just trying to help you be at peace. If I save a few Women Children, I will throw them back into the pond for Humanity. But first things first. We need to talk about how you're going to get off the pitch.
Talk to me Mike. Let's spitball our way through this.
Linear Mode
