fao gare - bradley v marquez

[gay sex]

what do i look like a mexican how would i know

also dave when u bring the big can of dole pineapple juice make sure you pour it into a seperate container CANT LET THAT SHIT OXIDIZE ON U BRUH BAR 101 BRUH

[gay sex]

also if anyone in here isnt watching the oregon washington game with gus johnson on the mic ur doing it very wrong right now

[Bobby Wong]

realtalk i have a vintage seltzer maker that i used to use for carbonating juices to make my alcoholism seem suave and genteel and now i cant even find someone to give it to, kids these days have no sense of class

[Bobby Wong]

you can even use it for huffing whippits and still nobody wants it

[gay sex]

i would take that in a second but im super lazy and literally keep like 15 club sodas in my laundry room at all times

[Bobby Wong]

i was a big tonic water fan, all that quinine has kept me malaria-free for years

[gay sex]

im too much of a pussy to handle tonic but when these are on sale 3 for 2 dollars i clean out the rack

[Bobby Wong]

one time i was over at some chicks moms house and there were two bottles of tonic water in the fridge and i was like alright, wheres the fucking gin, and she was all like i dont know what youre talking about, my mom doesnt even drink, and i was like bullshit theres nobody alive who drinks plain tonic water i know theres gin or vodka here somewhere and i tore the fucking place apart, but it turns out that the old lady really just drank tonic water and im an asshole

[gay sex]

i hope she was british or her grandpa built the panama canal cuz that is a really gross life choice

[Bobby Wong]

i think it was some sort of weight loss plan where you make sure you only have gross tasting shit in your house so you won't want to eat any of it