__________________
follow me on twitter @SweetBabyGrapes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Cobalina
Nat Sherman's are better than Dunhill's in every conceivable way
Quoted for Scooter. Give Nat's a try, just two packs, and I swear the next Dunhill you light up you will reflexively spit onto the ground. I literally did exactly that, as I walked back into my local head shop and exchanged the disgusting things for another pack of my beloved Nat Naturals.
Mike, your problem is you sit around and think up too many new problems. You need to work on the one you have. I have.. probably at least 5 signficant problems but I am all too lazy to count them up.. some serious, some not so serious.. some would make suburban people cringe.. but you don't fucking worry about them all. You're going into all this headfuck business, what is there you think you'll learn? Your mother sucks? Ok, well move on. Your worst part is you are dependent on her on some level. You need to put that behind you and then you can just ignore her. People suck. Your mother sounds like she sucks more than most. Well, what can you do? Nothing, but move on. How are you going to move on? By not spending time around her. How do you do that? By moving out from under her ceiling. So thats your current problem. Allt hese people poking fun at you and you taking this as serious doesn't do you a damn bit of good in moving in that direction.
You seem to mistake me for someone who follows "news" and tabloids enough to be familiar (on site no less) "octomom" and- not one more word shall I waste.
Well it was a huge national story. Didn't you ask the question to begin with ? You don't know anything about news, my bad and my mistake.
There is no such thing as "responsible drinking" for the same reason there is there is no such thing as "responsible cutting". It's not a question of moderation, it's a question of not poisoning yourSelf.
They're so fucking creepy when they suggest 1 glass of wine per day might (I've seen no evidence presented in support of this assertion) have health benefits which would, at best, be minuscule. Of course they don't sell bottles of wine or liquor in single servings so much as in 40 standard drink servings that sit there taunting you.
Fingers crossed you're never stressed or have a bad day or just feel like you want the pain to go away, amirite? Fingers crossed you don't have a bottle of wine which hasn't been properly decanted and risks going bad unless you drink it.
It's all so fucking creepy, it's as transparent as a loud fart in an elevator with only two people. Who could be the culprit, a mystery for the ages.
.
Everyone has their drug of choice. Alcohol has its bad and good side.
It is creepy to suggest 1 glass of wine. What the fuck does one glass of wine do to anyone worth drinking with ?? It is like asking someone to drink but not really.
Heavy drinking amongst heavy drinkers is a good time. If you disagree then you have not had the right friends. It is a rough drug, and a bit toxic at high doses. Causes depression the next day. I don't drink near as much as I used to. Me bringing up drinking was more just random bs than anything relevant.
Mike, your problem is you sit around and think up too many new problems. You need to work on the one you have. I have.. probably at least 5 signficant problems but I am all too lazy to count them up.. some serious, some not so serious.. some would make suburban people cringe.. but you don't fucking worry about them all. You're going into all this headfuck business, what is there you think you'll learn? Your mother sucks? Ok, well move on. Your worst part is you are dependent on her on some level. You need to put that behind you and then you can just ignore her. People suck. Your mother sounds like she sucks more than most. Well, what can you do? Nothing, but move on. How are you going to move on? By not spending time around her. How do you do that? By moving out from under her ceiling. So thats your current problem. Allt hese people poking fun at you and you taking this as serious doesn't do you a damn bit of good in moving in that direction.
You have it 110% on the money- I am really fucked being so close to my mother. It's exactly what she wants, and history proves she is incapable of both satisfaction and not going too far with her lust for power.
You are also right, as was scuter, in that getting away from this creepy woman is absolutely my #1, ahead of literally anything else. I wasn't super rushed until today tho, and right now in fact i have proposals on the table with my half sister dad and his niece, who's very nice and might give me the couch in living room.
Moving on is key, and I am trying to get better at doing just that but I don't know how, I have no answers, so right now I am staying on skatz poking around trying to get my mind at ease. It's the best I've got the next few hours, I am internalizing so much pain and frustration that i feel close to a breakdown of some kind.
i swear on my life that in many ways this period of my life is by far worse than anything I have ever imagined. The days I was living in the crack house I long for at this point. waking up freezing cold with no blankets and no couch, just floor, roaches mexicans and me. I thought it was horrible, and I wished for better days. "life will be good and worth living someday just hang in there" I told myself, alone as always. I would kill to be that happy again, I was enjoying life all things considered
I can feel this creepy calm not giving a fuck feeling of emotional death slowly wiping the colors of life out from my heart, like the world is just black and white, not fun, not anything but faggot logic and faggot real and all that scuter mumbo jumbo.
oh god i just want to disappear
__________________
follow me on twitter @SweetBabyGrapes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Cobalina
Nat Sherman's are better than Dunhill's in every conceivable way
Quoted for Scooter. Give Nat's a try, just two packs, and I swear the next Dunhill you light up you will reflexively spit onto the ground. I literally did exactly that, as I walked back into my local head shop and exchanged the disgusting things for another pack of my beloved Nat Naturals.
Everyone has their drug of choice. Alcohol has its bad and good side.
It is creepy to suggest 1 glass of wine. What the fuck does one glass of wine do to anyone worth drinking with ?? It is like asking someone to drink but not really.
Heavy drinking amongst heavy drinkers is a good time. If you disagree then you have not had the right friends. It is a rough drug, and a bit toxic at high doses. Causes depression the next day. I don't drink near as much as I used to. Me bringing up drinking was more just random bs than anything relevant.
The glass of wine per day theory is fucking rubbish, not one single doctor pre-med or professor on anything biology will argue otherwise.
Physically, the scant benefits are so vastly immeasurably outweighed by morbid risk that it is flat out irresponsible to advise anything but drink responsibly, at your own peril. You might see some benefit to arterial elasticity, kind of presumptuously saying "if arteries are more flexible, they are less prone to clots, thus less risk of blah and blah" but if my bio classes taught me anything about the human body, it's that the complexity of the human body's intertwined systems is so insane that making predictions based on as of yet unknown response variables (you don't know what they are until they pop in and say Hi! at the worst times, normally) is pretty foolish.
So that makes recommending people drink doubly foolish.
Jesus didn't turn his blood to wine for naught, he could have made milk water grape juice etc, but he chose WINE, and not by accident.
it's the poison of choice mankinds captors choose when shit gets pitchy and niggas know
so take away their resolve, piece by piece, until they don't know
simple
__________________
follow me on twitter @SweetBabyGrapes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Cobalina
Nat Sherman's are better than Dunhill's in every conceivable way
Quoted for Scooter. Give Nat's a try, just two packs, and I swear the next Dunhill you light up you will reflexively spit onto the ground. I literally did exactly that, as I walked back into my local head shop and exchanged the disgusting things for another pack of my beloved Nat Naturals.
The glass of wine per day theory is fucking rubbish, not one single doctor pre-med or professor on anything biology will argue otherwise.
Physically, the scant benefits are so vastly immeasurably outweighed by morbid risk that it is flat out irresponsible to advise anything but drink responsibly, at your own peril. You might see some benefit to arterial elasticity, kind of presumptuously saying "if arteries are more flexible, they are less prone to clots, thus less risk of blah and blah" but if my bio classes taught me anything about the human body, it's that the complexity of the human body's intertwined systems is so insane that making predictions based on as of yet unknown response variables (you don't know what they are until they pop in and say Hi! at the worst times, normally) is pretty foolish.
So that makes recommending people drink doubly foolish.
Jesus didn't turn his blood to wine for naught, he could have made milk water grape juice etc, but he chose WINE, and not by accident.
it's the poison of choice mankinds captors choose when shit gets pitchy and niggas know
so take away their resolve, piece by piece, until they don't know
simple
THe studies proposing that drinking in small amounts of moderation had quite a bit of data. I think it is pretty much accepted fact. It very well may not be the alcohol directly, it might be the socialization that goes along with it. You're not smarter than strong evidence, mike. It is a poison of choice because all it takes is rotting plant matter. It really doesn't get much more simple than that. All this alcohol controls the masses is bullshit. Idiots still sit around pissed off, they're just drunk on keystone light while doing it. THe beer isn't keeping them sitting around.
THe studies proposing that drinking in small amounts of moderation had quite a bit of data. I think it is pretty much accepted fact. It very well may not be the alcohol directly, it might be the socialization that goes along with it. You're not smarter than strong evidence, mike. It is a poison of choice because all it takes is rotting plant matter. It really doesn't get much more simple than that. All this alcohol controls the masses is bullshit. Idiots still sit around pissed off, they're just drunk on keystone light while doing it. THe beer isn't keeping them sitting around.
I never discounted that factors outside of the physical human body might not come into play and make the wine healthy, in fact it's a flavanoid that reduces inflammation within arterial endothelium that is the boon a person would seek, if I remember my anatomy.
But is the benefit wort h the drinking? That's something each person should figure out, not make assumptions with little data or logiic to defend their position.
Also, fwiw, there is another plant which has similar tonic like properties, but on the order of 20x the content of red whine. can you guess which I am referring? apple if you can.
__________________
follow me on twitter @SweetBabyGrapes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Cobalina
Nat Sherman's are better than Dunhill's in every conceivable way
Quoted for Scooter. Give Nat's a try, just two packs, and I swear the next Dunhill you light up you will reflexively spit onto the ground. I literally did exactly that, as I walked back into my local head shop and exchanged the disgusting things for another pack of my beloved Nat Naturals.
[quote=SkyNigger SO MIKE WHAT DO YO THINK OF MY KILLER DIAGNOSIS? [/QUOTE]
"A rather common view of MPD is given by philosopher Daniel Dennett.
...the evidence is now voluminous that there are not a handful or a hundred but thousands of cases of MPD diagnosed today, and it almost invariably owes its existence to prolonged early childhood abuse, usually sexual, and of sickening severity. Nicholas Humphrey and I investigated MPD several years ago ["Speaking for Our Selves: An Assessment of Multiple Personality Disorder," Raritan, 9, pp. 68-98] and found it to be a complex phenomenon that extends far beyond individual brains and the sufferers.
These children have often been kept in such extraordinary terrifying and confusing circumstances that I am more amazed that they survive psychologically at all than I am that they manage to preserve themselves by a desperate redrawing of their boundaries. What they do, when confronted with overwhelming conflict and pain, is this: They "leave."They create a boundary so that the horror doesn't happen to them; it either happens to no one, or to some other self, better able to sustain its organization under such an onslaught--at least that's what they say they did, as best they recall."
I feel nothing but numb, head to toe, have since yesterday. BPD is pretty bad and I am far worse off than I thought, aren't I? I know it's true and since yesterday it's been more of the same- memories come flooding back, I cry and sob in my hands, on the ground sometimes, standing or on the couch. i was built to fail ,and my engineer had to work her butt off for a very long time to crush my spirit and self confidence to the point I shrieked in horror and fled the scene.
this is what dying feels like I have no doubt. i knew it wasn't just the drugs because stopping them for months changed nothing
it was far more than the drugs, not just my unmedicated ADHD...not just any 3 things, I have a laundry list of things wrong with me, and no hope for grace...don't remember me like this, please,
__________________
follow me on twitter @SweetBabyGrapes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Cobalina
Nat Sherman's are better than Dunhill's in every conceivable way
Quoted for Scooter. Give Nat's a try, just two packs, and I swear the next Dunhill you light up you will reflexively spit onto the ground. I literally did exactly that, as I walked back into my local head shop and exchanged the disgusting things for another pack of my beloved Nat Naturals.
Do you think your emotive feelings can persuade. No question mark. You're insane. Shut the fuck up. You're a waste of space. 7.3 billion people in this world. You're in the bottom 1%.
Bottom 1% by what criteria? My clothes are nicer newer and more expensive than 99% of the world, I can speak read and write nearly perfect english with ease, i have a 2 year degree in biology with a fairly decent GPA, no missing limbs, no STDs, no kids and no wife or ex wife.
My credit is even decent.
oh, and I would never embarrass my friends by ordering sushi in public that starts with the fucking word CHICKEN
No you may not ever order sushi for me under any circumstances, not even a friendly gesture to make up for trying to kill me.
Quote:
You're literally too stupid to read the succinct and explicit and unambiguous solutions I advise. She's not your friend. Why do you believe her insulting lies to you? The question mark is for you.
I had a lot more to say, but why bother, you won't listen to any of it. You and my mother are so much alike and in so many way's it is absolutely horrifying.
Read slowly, what I hear coming from you is that not only should I abandon the little fake glimmer of hope I had coming from religion I should also, at basically the same time, come to grips with my abuses growing up (which were so bad I repressed them a solid 12 years,l just to keep from mentally imploding) and AND I need to accept my mental illnesses for what they are (with no and i mean NO possible means of treating any of it, I applied for medi-cal and medicaid and was turned away from both. I have a social worker who yawned while I asked her what the county could or would do for me, she gave me food stamps and $140 a month that I have to earn by working in a soup kitchen, and *nothing* else) and let's just be real thorough here, I need to also accept the bright neon signs of truth that my one last final bastion of sanctity that provided only the smallest ray of hope and sunshine, my mother, is not only not my friend, she is actually and always has been, my enemy.
MIKE, LISTEN YOU STUPID BASTARD, WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT ALL OF THIS TRUTH I AM BRINGING YOU?
I am a literal walking talking mascot for BPD, and if I doubt it, there are countless articles and web pages authored by Ph Ds abounding to reinforce it.
MIKE WHY AREN'T YOU DEALING WITH THIS???
precisely because you were right, you ignorant bastard.
MIKE I AM SO SICK OF YOU NOT LISTENING!!!!
bpd? you tell a man he has the most acute case of bpd you have ever seen that you cannot believe he is doing such a bad job of dealing with a reality so horrifying it's putting him back into "regression and survival" mode and you are angry that i am doing exactly what my mind has programmed itself to do?
what the hell is wrong with you? and what do you want/expect/desire me TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DO?
NOT CARE ABOUT ANY OF IT?
HOW DOES THAT DIFFER FROM NOT DEALING WITH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
WHAT PROGRESS HAVE YOU HELPED ME MAKE? WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING?
I was doing pretty good till you woke me ALL THE FUCKING WAY UP, so here is my game plan, I hope these actions somehow correlate with what "success" in my situation would be to you.
#1 Gain financial solvency and move as far away from my evil mother as I can, as fast (today?) as I can, taking any and all steps without stealing or hurting people to make it happen.
#2 Stop having an emotional reaction of any kind, to anything that happens, forever. Just be a rock that is never anything but.
#3 Wake up every morning and somehow look forward to this awesome world I am sitting in.
What else would you like sir? Muffins in bed with jam on the side? No emotional outbursts? Level 2? what's level 2? Here, I am past being hurt and upset that my mother stone cold fucked me to the point of dependency because she can't fucking help herself.
And there is a very big reason why I do not hold that against her. Postulate on that for ~5 minutes and you may understand why I am willing to give her some sympathy and not be so bitter. I mean, yeah i am pretty damned angry, but I also empathize with her, and I just need to find a way to solve my fuckedupness and become a viable stable human being.
That is the one thing I desire most in this world, over cars girls money sex drugs all the bullshit- I want my sanity (and with it, independency) most of all. I dont' want to be 408mike or the Ape, I want to be me, a normal person. Nothing special, nothing fancy, a subaru is as good as a lexus in my book, so long as I meet people and make friends and people on the internet, who are pretty fucking weird already, do not shriek in terror at the mention of being in a closed room with me.
Give me sanity or give me death.
__________________
follow me on twitter @SweetBabyGrapes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Cobalina
Nat Sherman's are better than Dunhill's in every conceivable way
Quoted for Scooter. Give Nat's a try, just two packs, and I swear the next Dunhill you light up you will reflexively spit onto the ground. I literally did exactly that, as I walked back into my local head shop and exchanged the disgusting things for another pack of my beloved Nat Naturals.
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