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The Ape of Nanking
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: the grrrrreat outdoors!
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My dear Scuter, this is going to be formidable yet I am up to the challenge....so let's get started (from the end and not the beginning, as that's how your mind works- you know how to end a conversation, and that's when you make your point, so why bandy around that point with all the fluff? To distract me? Hardly going to work, though I can appreciate the effort- really, I do)
"They'd lose a debate with me because I'd ask them one question and they would know I can destroy all their lying about it by pointing to their feverish efforts which prove the obvious.
Are. You. Happy?"
Yes I am, but yet, no I am not... That is the honest answer m8...I am happy for having sought and found God, I am unhappy because of my iniquity in life and my inability to ever come close to walking with Christ, though I do try. I find it impossible to be truly happy while still alive on this rock for "cursed is the ground we walk upon", remember that phrase? Of course you do....
I digress- I am happy because I have followed my head and my heart and managed to satiate both yet in the process I have become unhappy. Both deserve equal elucidation and they shall receive in kind.
My head- has always said to me "How can one NOT believe in God? Look at the ORDER of all living things (sometimes referred to "Sacred Geometry"- a term meant for greatness yet bastardized into secular slang, the true abominization of our day) how can one view the unimaginable complexity of the human body and NOT believe a higher power created it? Study molecular biology my friend and perhaps you can do what both my anatomy and physiology professors BOTH failed to do- come up with a rational process by which such complexity could have evolved out of thin air (well not air per se, more like hydrogen helium and a few heavy metals plus a catalyst (heat usually) but that is beside the point). I was taught human anatomy by a man with a memory closely trailing my own and out of sheer disgust at the medical system he chose not to seek residency and instead taught for the sheer love of it. Even he, with advanced knowledge of body systems the average MD could hardly fathom, admitted to me (I directly challenged him) that it was impossible to explain how this all came about if not for God. He said to take it "On faith" isn't that ironic? I think it is very ironic myself...I received the same answer 6 months later from my physiology professor, having earned his Ph.D in Zoology from UC Davis (his main study was actually Fish Physiology, about as weird a human as you have ever met, brutally intelligent to the point of being an outcast) he too said to me "Michael I can't give you an explanation, just TAKE IT ON FAITH" Faith? Really? You mean it's ok to take an explanation on something as important as who or what created us on faith, just as long as it's the explanation HE is accepting of right? Anyway...
So my head has always said to me that the impossible complexity by which all living things (save viruses) exist today MUST not be have come about by random chance but by intelligent design. You admit as such here "Do I discount the existence of superior life forms? I would be STUNNED if there wasn't."
OH HO HO HO!!!! SO you DO believe in "God", don't you! Yes you do, you just refuse to admit it lest your belief be typecast along with the rest of the insane world. Am I right or am I wrong? God is a word used to quantize an entity capable of things we of limited by imagination can not effectively describe. What is God? Who is God? The answer is not given to us mere mortals and thus it is impossible to effectively answer either question BUT you believe the same thing I do- that there is a higher intelligence at play in the universe, the very fact that I am here typing this rather long message via this electronic medium is all the proof anyone really needs.
Why is this so hard for you to admit? You can have faith in God and not adhere to the same rigid ignorant beliefs the insane would force upon you you know-... or do you know....
And thus my head has always known the truth yet we do not see with our heads we see with our HEART and that took a while for me to come to grips with. My heart truly rebelled at the thought of a God as imposed upon us by theologens and scholars and I have searched for nearly 31 years to find the truth that would set my heart free . John 17:8 "For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me." You see dear Scuter, God is beyond our knowledge alone, we are far too removed from the heavenly Father to "just get it" but He DID send us a way to know Him, through Christ His son.
If you created an organism, let's say it took the form of a giraffe, and you wanted to somehow communicate with your creation, would you not send your message in a form your giraffe would understand? Of course you would. Your message, your WORD, would be in form and speaking in a manner they would understand. The only Word of our God we have to go by is that which was spoken by Christ, His messenger.
My heart was hard to win over mind you. Here you reflect on that topic "To be open-minded you need to be intelligent. To be open-minded, you cannot be a Christian in the sense that you believe the God of the Holy Books. You fail the open-minded test, miserably; right there. There is no point in insulting you by pretending that your position could have validity. You need to read your Bible and ask a lot of questions. You don't even need to ask the questions but I don't know how insane you are."
I am intelligent and also very open-minded. I arrived where I am now by my own choice and free-will. Having spent 29 years seeking God and finding nothing, I consider myself now blessed to have found that which I sought all that time. Was I open-minded, I scoff at the inference of ignorance. You will not find a more sinful person that I, memories of laying naked next to a naked girl with pornography lines of cocaine and empty tubes of astroglide and tablets of ecstasy laying about bear testimony to my "open-mindedness" in the past. Even then I knew better than to feel "happy" and if cocaine and ecstasy fueled sexual rampages can not make one happy than nothing on this earth truly can. I am not happy now but I have never been happier, if that makes sense, despite living a life in polar oppositeness to the debauchery toted as "living" by the mainstream and "sane" of the world.
"Let's start. You play if you want to. " ok
"Jesus said "If you do not forsake ALL that you hath, you cannot be my disciple." True "Unambiguous answer to a rich would-be disciple. There is not a Christian in the world who that is true for. And you are no exception. So why are you pretending to be a Christian when you know you're a fraud that cannot be Christ's disciple?" I am a disciple because I embrace both my love for Him as well as my inherently flawed humanity. NO ONE is perfect, lest they be God Himself and that is impossible. Only when a person can admit perfection is unattainable can they pursue it in earnest and with an open heart. Through Christ I work to be like Him, to get to know Him, always mindful of my imperfections inerrant to my creation as a man in the first place. We are all sinners, all doomed to hell, yet through Christ salvation is freely offered, if you but take His hand in fellowship.
"You don't really want to play this game with me because it's painful."Yes I do. "And I never lose."Yes you do, and have. "But then I never win either."Your choice. "And that's a pity because if I won, you'd win."Incorrect- if I win, YOU win friend.
"Christians have everything to hide. They're the most private people alive. Because they're setup to feel shame. You know what Christ told you nigger. So why are you pretending to be his disciple. Literally this shit is so simple whenever someone tells me they're a Christian I'm pretty much going to prove they want to fuck children if they engage me. If they don't, they prove it themselves." Sorry, not all who come in the name of God are pedophiles, though that might be your experience. I come in peace, so that you may know that which created you, and to show you that you can give thanks without feeling like a moron, or embarrassment or public ridicule. Can you think of a more righteous endeavor than simply being grateful and publicly giving thanks to the entity which CREATED life in the first place? I can't, but since you are "smarter than me" perhaps you can? Go ahead and try, I'll be waiting.
"7 billion people are trying to outwit each other, lying and stealing and maliciously attacking each other, raping and killing and violently assaulting, exploiting and manipulating and molesting literally everyone they can (which means, basically, they're limited to hurting those they ostensibly care about)...and they're doing all this trying to be happy." No, they are doing what all evil things do, happiness was never the impetus, survival and 'fitting in" are. Keep in mind we are ALL fallen and you will see the logic behind what I have been trying to tell you all along...
"Also, I have teeth." Seen worse "Like for real. I wouldn't want me to fuck with them." Fuck with me then. "I don't give a fuck about you." Out of fear of what you don't know but feel in your heart to be true only. "Occasionally, I've taken a nibble. Some psychiatrists are terrified of me. They needn't be. I'm sane and that means I have no reason to fuck with them. But almost every psych is a FILTHY CREEP. They're almost all criminals but the ones I've bribed were really dumb criminals. Because they think I would be exploitable. Hey they exploit people all day, how am I any different. I'm different because I understand how exploitation and greed works." Really? "Give someone an egg a day and they'll kill you for all the eggs. You know? That fable sums up humanity so fucking well. See those people that killed the golden goose were shrewd like you." Shrewd like me eh? So do tell, what do I have to gain by helping you? Or as you put it, what eggs of yours am I trying to steal? My righteousness is as filthy rags, as are yours friend. Helping you won't get me any closer to salvation, so why would I bother? Hmm......
"I could be one of the most exploitative creeps alive" You are gifted of that I have no doubt. "I'm not talking out of my ass. I used to be a creepy mother fucking sonnofabitch. I never wanted to be. The world made me that way when I emerged from the darkness that would have killed you, and I was more or less untouched."Sorry, I have endured through suffering and darkness you have not seen and believe me, nothing on this earth can kill me. Or hasn't yet, anyway...And you are not untouched by any stretch of the imagination, neither am I... "Not really, but I believed it. I was sensitive, I wanted to be friends with everyone, I wanted to have fun and contribute to fun. And an hour into my first day in school, I readjusted all that. I regret it but I don't really think I had any choice. This is a creepy world of snickering imbeciles who play games no one can win at." True. "So everyone loses. I was whipped into Damage Protection Mode and I next emerged from that Protective Self-Defeating Fear when I was 29. I was happy for 0 days in 15 years. Well one or two where I forgot myself and created magic. A couple days a year, if that. And usually artificially inflated anyway."
"Until you can make a coherent case for what you know or what you believe, you don't know shit." "Keep an open mind". ? What is this vile shit. What is it even supposed to mean. I keep an intelligent mind which means if you can make a convincing case for something, you're going to convince me." Here is what I believe- we are not the product of random chance but of creation by a higher power not easily quantized by human thought. Afterall, we are by definition limited, thus our understanding of the world around us is limited, and the world beyond our perception, well you get the idea. In essence, WE DON'T KNOW SHIT. However, God did present the truth to us, at least the small amount that is for us to know at this present time, and that which He has spoken He spoke through His only son, Jesus the Christ. Some I believe whole-heartedly, some I have to take on Faith, but that makes me no different than the atheists who also take the unexplainable on faith does it not? Yet my faith hinges on a desire to understand that which can not be understood with our given limitations, and thus I consider the pursuit of the divine something an open-minded person would choose, and not vice-versa.
"DO YOU HAVE AN OPEN MIND? Or do you have faith? The two are mutually exclusive." Ah but they are NOT friend, I have successfully proven as such above. Do read.
May God Bless you my dear Scuter, and may you know peace on this earth, now and always.
Mike
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