__________________
follow me on twitter @SweetBabyGrapes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Cobalina
Nat Sherman's are better than Dunhill's in every conceivable way
Quoted for Scooter. Give Nat's a try, just two packs, and I swear the next Dunhill you light up you will reflexively spit onto the ground. I literally did exactly that, as I walked back into my local head shop and exchanged the disgusting things for another pack of my beloved Nat Naturals.
Off topic, scooter, I was telling some of the chaps in the AIM circle jerk about Family international, and I was looking up some of their cartoons, and I found this gem..
It really blows my mind how stuff like Penn state and the catholic church get so much press, and this group of scumbags get off. I mean, they are COACHING their children in how to not co-operate with authorities about being abused. Systematically. It's so genius, and so ridiculously evil.
FWIW money does not nor has it ever bought anyone happiness.
It's worth very little when you say it because you've never had any. How Christian of you to imagine that your 'opinion', asserted without an inkling of sanity or logical justification, could be either valid or worthy of expressing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Been
prrrretty sure money would make me happy
Everyone is.
But show me an example of someone you believe is happy because they have money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rum Dick
tell that to the person who gets extra time with their loved ones or tell it to the loved ones who get extra time with the person
Kidneys still have to be failing as a pre-requisite = pain relief / pain 'relief' reverse freeroll.
Let me put it this way; if you made the kidney fail, knowing you could provide the spare kidney, you could appear to be a hero worthy of...LIFE-long gratitude (which has monetary implications, as well as the high prospect of generating other 'valuable' Christian illusions like respect, gratitude, reverence, social status, deference or even...love). I'm not saying that if your kidney is failing, the doctor or someone who benefits from alleviating your suffering / prolonging your life is causing it to fail.
But you'd have to be an idiot not to understand the definition of conflict-of-interest. It's what can happen to humans who have been made to be confused about their own best interests.
I am almost never conflicted these days. For most of my life, I have literally lived decades in perennial confliction because I was confused. I can see value in ways 99.9% of people cannot see; I see the angles, I see the opportunities to exploit, I see where I could take advantage and so, I lived a life of frustration because I wanted to believe in people so I opened myself up...like a target for predators. I paid a very heavy penalty; over a decade of misery - but only because it seemed clear that I was playing sub-optimally.
I was playing sub-optimally; but only because humans are very, very confused about their own best interests. Trust those who want you to trust them (as opposed to being horrified at the suggestion that they could want or need such an insulting thing), Believe those who want to be believed (why would anyone honestly want or need such a thing?), Love those who want to be loved (as opposed to wanting what is in the best interests of those they care about; and if you love someone, their best interests are served by your getting as far away from them as you can) - and you will pay a heavy penalty for being so confused about logic.
Unconditional love? You'd still love someone who tried to kill you? Who would want such a terrifyingly insane thing. Who would need to be loved, unconditionally?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby Wong
yes it fucking does you idiot. do you know how fucking happy i would be if i woke up one day and my back and knees didn't hurt?
Pain relief /= Happiness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLACKDANIELS
back on topic while money may or may not make you happy not having any will surely make you sad
There is no maybe about it. Money Will Guarantee You Misery if you are human. We live in a world of screams which has been manufactured by those with money, needlessly. They were just in denial about their misery so they manufacture a Demand for what they can Supply. The American Dream is a rolling scam.
Or to put it more bluntly, they make you sad because they're not happy.
Almost all the suffering in this world is created expressly for one, single purpose. Price manipulation; or more correctly, the manipulation of Perceived Value. To sell someone something that they don't need, you have to create the illusion of necessity. It's really sweet when Mattel does this with Barbie dolls. It's even sweeter when Power does this with Money.
Don't get me started on Land. But don't worry, you totally own whatever you can convince yourself you own. I own the entire world as much as you own the land your house is built on. Neither of us has a standing army, though; so in reality, we don't really own jack shit. So what I do, as the owner of the entire world, is let everyone use it rent-free. I'm not always happy about the way billionaires USE it (they use people in a similar way, and that way is UP); but like I said, I don't have a standing army and with no vassals willing to kill or die for me (no one sane will ever have Power) or for illusions I create with Protection Rackets and Lies and Fear, there's very little I can do about it.
Very Little should not be confused with Nothing. It's funny that everyone gets the two confused. I can do a little. I'm doing it. I'm not going to tell you to do it. I'm going to explain why it's in your best interests to do it, and then it's up to you whether you want to be sane or insane. I'm not going to say Please (vomit); I'm not a filthy mother convincing you to eat your greens as a personal favour to please me. Act in your own best interests or don't, morons.
Compare and contrast with Motherhood, and Christianity. I don't shift the goalposts on your acting in your own best interests (if you're confused).
That's how everyone got confused about 'Good' v 'Evil', and Selfishness (the only true Nobility).
______
Back to the market that is the Supply and Demand for Money; if you had a billion dollars and you walked into McDonalds, how would anyone know you were any different from any other rube in the 'fast'-food line? If you were happy, that would be just what you would want. Happy people want nothing to change. If you were unhappy, you'd be angry. Unhappy people change things.
There is nothing wrong with this; it's perfectly logical and sane. But if your perception had been corrupted by emotional pollution, to the point where you believed you were entitled to a little respect for your position (after all, you've earned it - or your daddy or your granddaddy or his pop or poppy did - collaborating with Nazis, perhaps [ahem] - war is very lucrative, it's just not profitable); when you change things, you will change them to be the way you believe they should be.
That's what the Golden Rule is all about. Pissing on the faces of others. For two thousand years, that stream of urine has been dripping onto the face of Humanity. Do not do unto others. If you are unhappy, you cannot force others to be miserable and win, by doing so. You'll just have beaten them.
Do unto yourselves, you fucking creeps. Stop telling everyone else what you would have them do. Do unto you, what you deserve. Tell yourselves the Truths you're in denial about. Your humanity, for one. You could start right there. Are you human or aren't you? You claim the former, but your actions suggest the latter. Make up your fucking mind and stop trying to play both sides of the fence. Be humane or stop calling yourself human.
"But how will that make me happy?"
Shut up. ME ME ME. This world has 7.3 billion of you. When you understand what that means, you will understand how appropriately valued you truly are. Hint: It's presently near zero. Your mother lied to you, I'm afraid. You create value by investing in those who will value you. You do not create value by exploiting those who are too trusting and tiny to be expected to have a clue.
Stop trying to change the world to suit your preferences, when you're unhappy. The problem, you Golden Urinating creeps, is with you. If you're not creating misery, then I'm not talking to you. So no, imbecilic Toddler, I am not being hypocritical. I'm telling those who are creating misery that it's in their best interests to stop Telling Others what to do; it's in their best interests to change themselves if they're confused, rather than create misery to please their insane moods.
Do unto yourself. Fuck that creep. He was just a dumb leech.
Of course, no one is going to listen to me. They don't want to be happy. They just want to be naughty. They don't realise they've been made to want to be mischievous. They don't realise almost all their preferences have been chosen for them, by someone else; communicated to them craftily by - uh oh - Power.
Do you know what a conflict-of-interest is? Stick around, I'll define it for you.
Power is eternally conflicted because it is an illogical contradiction. To achieve power, you must reduce humans into being stupid enough to give their power to you. So by devaluing humans, you can raise yourself up? By pushing everyone else down? I wonder where we'll all finish up?
Up? Or Down? It's going to go one way or the other.
Presently, we're going away from Sanity and simple game theory says this Insanity combined with finite resources is going to be settled that most religious of all ways, angrily. Emotionally. MAD.
It's mutually deserved. Boom.
Power will sooner destroy you than allow you to take your power back; not whilst there's still hope you can be manipulated into believing "the enemy" is those humans over there. In a world of nuclear weapons, that means Mutually Assured Destruction. It's the gameplay result of religious leeching and the insanity of 'entitled' morons who only ever negotiate when they're looking to screw you. It's the Christian Hijack. You will pay them or you will pay. "Let's be reasonable here." NO. You broke the rules. Who wrote the rules? Their exploiters, who they have gotten themselves confused with. They're exploiting you. Getting exploited. It's how exploitation 'works' in NAIA (Manila's international airport). People are so desperate to leave that country of horror, they know they can squeeze you. They squeezed $1000 out of me for a bag Royal Brunei charged me $90 in excess baggage to bring over (perfectly fair, I thought). $1000?
The Christian Hijack. I'd seen it before. I'll see it again. It's a terrifying thing, because it's pure insanity. You pay or you'll pay. Why? Because they can! That's why...you'll never want to go to their horrifying cesspool of Catholic exploitation ever again.
Unless you had a good reason. Like if you wanted a bride who knew how to be a good wife, and would be a terrible wife, a terrible slave and a fucking bucketload of misery because she'll be a little whore, won't she? It's funny that imbeciles think they can buy humans when all they can buy is some naughty Toddlers who have to be kept in line with Sticks and Carrots (more Stick, for the prettier ones - on account of competition for Carrots). The older sister of a child prostitute I'd already slept with (in my 'defence' [the single apostrophes are because I don't need one], I knew neither that she was a child or a prostitute because she was neither when she was with me) put the hard sell on me. Kinda turned me off, really. Poor little kid.
Back to sexual exploitation. Playtime over. Time to make some money. Mother isn't going to feed herself, you know. Do you know...why humans have been reduced into beings of misery which create beings of happiness they must make miserable (in order to feel needed)? We are a mimicking species. When I was learning (from a blank slate, almost) how to be 'normal' at 14, I terrified some kids with my mimicking them. It creeped them out. But then only because I was their age. They'd have been as chuffed by the compliment as they should have been, if I was their little brother rather than a (vaguely unsettling) 'mate'. It's "Do as I say", not "Do as I do."
The Church is a little 'confused'.
Humans don't do what they're told. The writers of the Jesus protagonist knew that. The NT was written to exploit anyone who wasn't capable of being told what to do. If they fall for the NT's idiocy (and I'm not talking about falling for the ludicrous 'sweet' but for the 'value' of the lie used to deceive), it was written to exploit them.
Humans do what they see others do. They see Jesus telling imbeciles what to do, non-stop. So they tell imbeciles what to do, non-stop. Imbeciles ignore them or they'd literally be dead. Peer pressure will sort that Truth out for you, or maybe you didn't have any 'friends' trying to kill you? Not intentionally. Just unaware of the consequences of their taunting you to be "a man" (which you could be forgiven for thinking, in their mind, was equivalent to "a dead boy"). I didn't have a sense of Self, but I had a sense of Self-preservation which is unfortunate. One without the other is unfortunate. Later I had a sense of Self, but no sense of Self-preservation. You really need both, or you're screwed. I didn't have a sense of Self for long.
______
Logic dictates that, as resources dwindle whilst Demand only sky-rockets, there is going to be increasingly 'rationalised' wars fought over the remaining [insert resource here]. It will be a religious fight, like all fights (sane people don't fight, they negotiate to find the Pareto optimal solution - insane people 'exploited' that). But this fight will be especially religious because it will not be setup by Power v Power, as a ruse to fool vassals into accepting the dominion's restrictive 'necessity'. This fight will be for real. Power v Power, with the joke on everyone. It will be a fight for ownership of the land on which the 'precious' resources can be accessed.
The thing about owning land is that the Earth belongs to no one, really; but it sure as hell doesn't belong to whomever can squat on it by virtue of "might is right". Power is insanely religious. Sane people have no power, only the insane ever convince vassals to kill and die for them or their cause; so no one sane has ever owned what they were not deluded enough into believing was theirs (but in reality, will never be theirs; they just rent it from Power, at Power's pleasure). Power knows this, and Australians are all obsessed with buying into their own exploitation. When Truth hits them, they'll be conflicted.
Power is never stupid. It merely pretends to be.
_________
I'm vaguely aware, when forced to choose between Sticks or Carrots, one should choose C even if it means Sticks. I've seen where Carrots lead you, or at least, I've heard the darkness first-hand and I've the Heart of Catholic Darkness in the Catholic slum also known as greater Manila. You don't want to get sucked down that road of horror. You could find yourself fighting for those who exploit you, which - at least, on some level - seems dumb.
But to the shrewd who've been given the illusion of ownership of their "good thing" (i.e. the victims of the con tricked into propagating the con) will fight until the bitter end for the con's validity.
They'll have faith, like my parents. Faith that their shrewd lying to everyone, including themselves, is somehow in their best interests. You don't want to start lying to others, but lying to yourself?
No one is that stupid, surely?
I'm pretty sure I can prove that every mother in the world is doing it. Why else would they have children of their own? All that love to give, and 21,000 human children die every day. And these children are no good, why?
Watch a mother who spins that nonsense about love to give away lose their mind at being caught in a corner. They've put themselves in a corner with their moronic lying. They don't see it that way. It's funny. The only people who get offended are the most offensive people alive. They have a big problem with Truth. You can get attacked, quite viciously, by a mother protecting her cubs who's awfully confused about who they need protection from. She's raising little slaves to please her. She needs them to believe they owe her. She'll attack you for asking why orphans aren't any good for her overflowing love. Literally, they'll physically attack you, in some instances.
In the others, they'll storm out (ostensibly because you're 'rude'). I'm not sure anyone is ever rude, except to rude people. And I'm not sure it's possible to be the first offender, unless you're a mother. But I know for a fact that religion tricked men into imagining it could be shrewd to exploit women, for this reason. Afraid, they'll raise their children to live in fear. Before long, you have an exploited species.
The only people breeding new humans are either not qualified to be parental by virtue of their incapacity to practice "birth control" or they're not qualified by virtue of their refusal to address the open question that has never - not once - received an attempt at an answer: "Why are you making children of your own?"
Mothers will play stupid when you query why they're raising their children to please creeps. Mothers are very creepy. I sensed something was up a decade before I had a clue that I was far less unlucky than I had believed. Every mother who plans to have a child or children of her own, is looking to exploit them. I don't care how (un)convincing her denial is. Unless she can explain her motive, she's either insane or shrewd. There's no C. I'm choosing shrewd.
Those children are inherently displeasing. At best, they're mischievous. At worst, they're politicians or power-brokers. They're all so desperate to impress, they forget to be impressive.
It all comes down to how they were raised. Were they raised to be Self-less or Selfish? One impresses and doesn't care about Truth. One is impressive and cares only for Truth.
_______
Power is, by definition, a conflict-of-interest. Power's primary concern is holding onto power, or it would be snatched away or back. So Power's primary concern is in Keeping the Stupid Stupid enough to keep on believing it's in their interests to give their power away to Power. Power's secondary concern is in making the humans it has reduced into robotic imbeciles into something of value. But humans don't really have any value, once they've given their mind away. They become utilities to be used (and abused). And they get used, and abused; and then they have children and it all gets very sad and confused.
Mothers have power. Very little, on account of their exploitation by creeps (their mother, primarily; and all the men who played along with their dumb attempts to leverage concessions out of doing what they want to do). Girls just want to have fun; they're a lot like boys, in that way. And men. And Women. And sociopaths and creeps. Everyone wants to have fun, but no one is happy.
Gosh but do you think maybe somewhere along the line, things got confused?
When a girl who has been 'valued' by creeps her entire life, no longer has the capacity to convince a satisfactory % of them into 'valuing' her body for one disturbingly utilitarian use (jerking off is more fun than having sex with an emotionally-inflatable [and deflatable] blow up doll, and that's the Truth), she will become a Mother and if you cannot see why you're either lying or an imbecile. She's looking to be valuable. She wants to contribute. But if she's been "raised" by creeps, she'll have no value beyond her capacity to be used.
She gets used for sex.
Then used to breed dupes.
Power does this. Power needs stupid dupes to dupe into giving away their power, to Power.
But Power also cares about what it controls. So it will do things to raise the value of it's slaves; but never enough to make them realise they can free themselves. Power won't value that suggestion. Power wants valuable slaves, which means Power is a contradiction. It's pure recursion because you cannot be imbecilic enough to divide by zero and expect to win a logical victory.
Power exists when people have been reduced into slaves who give up their power en masse, to some form of a Protection Racket. It's almost always about fear. But it can be about love, if you're manipulative enough (like Gaddafi or a mother). But it's far easier to simply terrify dupes into believing they need you. Also, when they love you, their moronic Compassion can send you insane like Manny Pacquiao. The whole of the Philippines loves Manny so they all lie to themselves about wanting what is best for Manny.
This has been very tragic for Manny, for quite some time now. I've met him, twice actually; but then I didn't need to meet him to know that he lives to please Others and not himself. He's a Winner, isn't he? Winners are never happy. They're only ever (briefly) pleased. I've won a great deal, and I was never happy. At best, I was merely...relieved.
I would never have been competitive, otherwise. Happy people are not driven to compete. To promote themselves, they'll promote you. This is not exploitable. The insane see things differently. I know this for a fact. They were my friends. To promote themselves, they'll reduce you. I've been reduced so low, that without a damn clue about why everyone was so miserable or why I was miserable - I only wanted to have fun, but miserable people won't allow it - I escaped overseas. It was a instinctual reaction, made in desperation. I wasn't convinced the problem wasn't me. That's half the reason why I ran overseas. The other half is because when you're unhappy, you need to look for reasons why. It seemed I was not making others miserable, but they were doing a number on me. I tried to speak to them about it, I was ridiculed and then given a lecture on "sticking together".
So I left.
Manny needs to leave his wife. She's pure poison. As toxic as misery gets. She's a product of religious exploitation, as pure as any I've seen since the CoG. Might is right, in an insane world. But might is never right. Period. If it were right, it wouldn't need to be powerful. It would just make the convincing case. If you want to make the most unconvincing case in the world (that others should die, or suffer, to please you); then you need Power. Manny's wife has been brainwashed by Power into thinking her job is to keep Manny miserable. She's performing, admirably.
Manny does whatever she tells him to do. Marriage is a contradiction as insane as any. Humans are social creatures, so let's isolate them into private pockets of misery and call it "marriage". When they wish to part, we'll scream "What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder."
It's brilliant, because who gives a toss about what a woman wants? No one, in an insane world. In a sane world, no one ever does anything they don't want to do. It is vomit-inducing how often a girl will assume she has to sleep with me because she owes me. I've paid, haven't I? Of course I have, one way or another, but then I'm not paying for misery. Prostitutes were a huge piece of the puzzle. When I put the horrifying pieces together, and finally understood why sex and fun and girls and suffering all got mixed up into [Misery], I understood.
This world is comprised of sociopaths and narcissists, almost exclusively. They're happy for others to suffer to please them. But they'll never be happy. They'll merely be (idiotically) pleased, intermittently; like Mrs Pacquiao. Her husband is now back under her control. Thank the JEALOUS LORD for having the good sense to make divorce against the Laws (of both God and Man). She is undoubtedly so imbecilic, she believes that little Trick is in her favour. It allows her to control her husband into not wanting to embarrass himself publicly by divorcing her after he embarrassed her publicly, by impregnating a girl named - perfectly hilariously - Princess. Manny's two daughters are also royalty. A princess and a Queen, in fact; at least, in Manny's eyes. It's perfectly harmless, right?
Prepping children for Reality, with idiotic Fantasy? What harm could it do. Every human being is special.
That's not entirely true. Every human being could be special, but if you reduce them into believing the universe revolves around them...they're going to be valued for their capacity to please others with their body. Their insane mind can be their children's problem, to deal with later; and here we are, dealing with it. Billions of 'special' VIPs, all more important than each other, almost all of whom are intrinsically valueless (if only because they believe their opinions are valid for no other reason than that's simply the way they - in their specialness - feel).
Their opinions do not have the value of whatever ridiculously minuscule fraction of a % "everyone's opinion is valid" [1 in 7,300,000,000] works out to be. Their opinions are worth so much less than that. Their opinions are never valid. They're illogical. They're unjustified and unjustifiable. Their opinions are unsustainable. Every religion is a pretext used by those who wish to leech. They do not wish to contribute. They will take what is yours and it will be God's Will and Your Fault for not accepting the Will of God (aka them). The victims of religion can produce, but nothing really of value. Power is a scourge that devalues all the way down the Pyramid Scheme of Misery.
The best value you'll get of a reduced human is someone like Manny. Bred to please, suffering and confused. Embarrassing himself in public. But then he's not very good at orating, he's kinda shy. He's almost un-opinionated, really. Manny just wants to have fun. When he gets vocal about an insane 'issue', you can bet your ass he's being prodded. Manny has Won so much, from scratch; it's really quite tragic how little Happiness he's permitted to have. Zero, if it were up to the creeps who believe they own him; his wife, her filthy priests, the entire country. They love him, don't they?
So they own him. Well, that's how the Confidence Trick works. If you're falling for it, it's for you.
Manny falls for it. Poor Manny. He's terrified of losing, just like every Winner in history. But you can push exploitation too far, and when that happens, your Winner can snap. He might start talking about how he has lots of gay friends and actually loves gays, but God has to kill them for their filthy preferences. God literally does have to do shit like this.
You must suffer or you'll never get close to God. Only suffering makes someone that confused. If you're wondering, Manny does not - I repeat, does not - have many gay friends; unless he's lying about how he feels. So he's lying, unless he's lying. And that, pretty much, sums up religion.
It's illogical. And provably so. Only children are really capable of getting 'converted' by the insanity.
If you believe God is capable of turning gays (and anyone near them) into a sulphuric ball of emotional rage-induced fire (look what happened to Lot's wife, for having Empathy), you wouldn't hang out with them. And they wouldn't hang out with you. So why is Manny embarrassing himself, with moronic lies?
For the same reasons you lie to imbeciles, when you're trying to impress them. He's trying to impress the creeps who he wants to please. His wife. Her filthy, hate-mongering priests.
You won't impress anyone your moronic lies don't fool but then you're not trying to. I've never been fooled, except by myself; when I believed it was in my best interests to overlook that little sociopathic habit of humans.
Lying. It's as black and white as the association of "dark" with "evil". The night is not evil. That's merely when Evil people used to conduct their religious business. The night is where you see Humans being humane. Having fun, as much as they're permitted to; what with the necessity for fear and guilt to be associated with doing so, as perceived by creeps obsessed with control.
During the day, the Creeps reign supreme. The slaves race around like rats, whipping themselves to get to their important exploitation, their important next opportunity to be lied to by a manipulator, their next BIG moment in a life of petty insanity. They kill each other by their hundreds of millions racing around in cars with the capacity to do 240kph and they've been conditioned to want to go fast (vroom) and they crash because they're "being naughty" and no one understands that the technology to speed-limit vehicles has existed for 40 years (or perhaps even since the days of Henry Ford). But gosh, the government spends so much effort telling you not to do what you've literally been programmed and setup to do. It's great for business, and that business operates on the engine room of slaves kept miserable and confused.
You cannot exploit your way into value. You cannot reduce the happiness of others, in order to be happy. You cannot create suffering to avoid misery. At best, you will be temporarily pleased. At worst, you won't understand why nothing - NOTHING - pleases you anymore.
Press Show to read about how I fought the Law (without realising it) in Silom. And almost died (or imagined I did, which is effectively the same thing).
"Perhaps you're dipping your beak into the wrong bowl of exploitation? Come with me", the creeps in Silom (Pat pong) will tell you (or something to that effect). They know where the ladies that will please you can be found. The ironic thing is I wasn't pleased or displeased by the 1000 girls who were literally dying to please. Literally. Dying. I was mildly horrified, but then I've no interest in what is intrinsically worthless; I was interested in getting KFC and I was displeased at having my dick snatched at by mischievous male prostitutes.
Then I was displeased at being physically wrestled across the street by Spam, who seemed certain I needed help finding ladies. I can find ladies in any city on the planet. What I'm struggling with finding, is fun. This is a world where humans suffer to please. Which makes humans with empathy horrified. I know who is into that sort of thing.
Sociopaths, and narcissists. It would make perfect sense to them. Your suffering to please them, I mean.
Something frightened me into my room, where I didn't come out for days and almost died of fever (or the imagination that I had one). I was delirious, with something.
In my mind, it became a matter of life and death (or more accurately, I believed I would die if I didn't put the puzzle together; but once I'd put it together, I could die in peace - I wasn't thinking all that exceptionally) to figure out the caper of the salesmen who pull you off the sidewalk in Silom to show you where the ladies are (but then if you don't get pulled off, you don't want to come looking for me - I'll embarrass you, I'll know you would have looked pleased). The human mind, in denial, is an amazing and terrifying thing.
The horror at the insanity and the insulting belief that I could possibly need a stranger's help to find "a lady" in Silom (when there are a thousand or two lined up literally using every emotionally-manipulable face they can muster, in their desperation to get you to choose them from so many)...it was too horrifying. Too insane. I ran away, to my room; where I got sick, or imagined I got very sick. I believed I was about to die, therefore I was about to die. If I believe I don't have the capacity to drink water, I'm going to die very quickly.
As the fever soared, my mind was fighting a losing battle against time to solve this mystery. What was this insanity on the street? What did these imbeciles WANT? Ostensibly, to help me. I didn't need their help. Not even a blind man would need the help of a stranger to find a lady in Silom. Yet these gentlemen made a living out of doing just that.
Nothing made sense.
They seemed so perfectly sane, in creepy and insane ways; they were so...understanding and respectful of my insanity (which would be on display not when I'd swing out at them, trying to kill them - I knew they'd be too quick, and I knew they would be too quick for me to avoid learning a lesson about Thai kickboxing the very hard and unnecessary way - I knew I couldn't hurt them, I knew they weren't allowed to hurt me; so nothing about my swinging at them was insane, not when they'd pull me off a street with 1000 half-naked child/childlike prostitutes "to find ladies").
My insanity would kick into gear after I'd swing at them. I was trying to taunt them into doing what I knew they wanted to do but were prohibited from doing and the reason it's insane is because I'm very good at making people lose. I think this was my sub(bish)-conscious motivation, because I'd simply had enough.
These creeps (so considerate and inconsiderate, simultaneously; so polite and imposing at the same time, so Catholic really) were giving me shivers like no creeps I'd seen since the CoG, where love for children gets all mixed up with hate and that's a hazardous environment for children. Hah. They literally breed children to exploit. Manipulation isn't their strong suit; they're social retards who are obsessed with sex, so basically, they're Catholic.
And these creeps in Silom were giving me flashbacks of more horrifying times. All that genuine love (for your money) and hidden hatred of you (for having what they wanted) percolating into flashes of dark Truth I'd induce by emotionally-manipulating them into feeling shame for not doing what would kill them (i.e. kill me). I knew they wanted to. I would make them want to.
I stared them down, egging them on, reducing them to feeling worthless. I'd spit at them and in their suffering under the scorch that is my scorn, I very nearly induced my own 'murder'-suicide. I saw the yearning, the desire, the emotion defeating reason in their eyes. I managed to induce insanity to (an at least, momentary) triumph over sanity (or at least, self-preservation); but I couldn't make it stick. Their eyes would blur as their amazing powers of self control wrestled back control and I knew I'd failed when their eyes would go cold. They'd apologise, back in control. They were wrong, would I forgive them. "Fuck no! Die, scum."
But I had lost by then, and I knew it. They were back in control. 20-30 seconds would pass and they'd move in again. Same guys. Grabbing and pulling me off the street, ostensibly, to find ladies (in Silom). They were killing me.
We were playing this insane game for almost a week and then I couldn't play anymore, so I didn't leave my hotel room. They were too good. Clearly not demented, almost - terrifyingly - smooth. My attentions turned to the issue that I knew was the main cause of my fury, these "ladies" I ostensibly needed help to find. In Silom, of all places.
Where else would exploitation be?
When my fever looked certain to kill me, I remembered the event that had sent me scurrying. I realised I had already been told the Truth. I just didn't want to accept it, but Spam had grabbed my arm and I'd landed a hard blow on Spam's wrist. Spam leapt back, but this was a different Spam to the usual ones. He was bumhurt, he literally thought he was helping me. The others despised having to help me through "my process". Your process. Not mine. If I wanted to do something, I'd just rationalise it.
Except for when I couldn't. I'm no different to retards. I wanted to solve the puzzle which had already been solved for me. So I fought fever, or an imagined fever, and got dangerously close to dying of thirst but then I remembered what had happened. Spam, bumhurt, leaned into me to tell me a Secret. He was surprised that he needed to tell me. He thought I knew. He thought once he explained, I would rush off with him. He was no longer bumhurt about his reddening arm, he understood.
I was just confused. He leant in and explained it all to me by telling me the exactly identical thing he told me when he grabbed me and started pulling. The penny dropped. As it turns out, I would have needed help to find "the ladies" in Silom. Oh they're easy to find; just signal your displeasure with the washed up 16-20 year olds, lined up in their hundreds or thousands along the street.
Spam would see my displeasure and know I was a discerning gentleman. Unhappy with all this 'happiness'? They understood. I was after something a little more...delicate. They would help me. I didn't need help. I wasn't looking for sex in Silom. I'm a moron who got Silom confused with Sathorn, when I was looking for functional internet (my TrueCorp flagship building's internet hadn't been the advertised 50mbps (short by ~48-49) since I moved in, but for the last two months before I moved out, it was short by the full 50 and I couldn't even get a callback from True. So I bounced around hotels, and almost died in Silom.
True story. But I have no idea about this fever, it might have just been imagined. When it broke (amazingly, once I'd solved the puzzle I'd already been given the answer to), I weakly staggered out into the 5:30am darkness and peace, with every intention of reaching the 7/11 across the street or dying, trying. I drank some water, ate a sandwich and mustered the strength for the return journey with 5 waters and 5 sandwiches. I felt quite healthy, and the thought struck me that the belief only 12 hours earlier (that I was going to die) may have been at odds with my present reality. I was chuckling to myself when I saw a little boy (maybe 7?) fast asleep.
I had no intention of waking him, but gosh. This is not a good world for children (did you know 21,000 die per day?) but there are few places worse in the world for children, than the main street in Silom. But shrewd children trying to survive will feel otherwise. Who knows, maybe some 'lucky' ones come out the other side.
Maybe Humanity is 'lucky' that they don't. I don't know these things. I only know what I know, and I know that I was never stupid enough to be that sort of helpless. I'm a Whore just like any child in this world of Child Exploitation, but I've never been a stupid Whore (except when in love). This child was dead, or as good as dead, and there's nothing really that can be done for him; so I turned back to my hotel's direction when I saw he had a little, peculiar hat on his head. I quickly realised it was a large McDonalds cup, upside down and balancing miraculously on a peculiar tilt. I came forward to investigate this new puzzle.
This one was (relatively) easy to solve. It was 'stuck' to his head, with dried milkshake. I had a feeling he didn't do that to himself, so I put two and two together and I think I understood the scene. Some funny, funny guys. They're just having harmless fun, really. Comedy is subjective but then if you did their comedy to them, they'd not find it funny.
So it's not really all that subjective, is it? It's objectively funny when the prank is on someone else. But when they're getting punked...watch out. Special humans get really emotional when you make fun of them. I used to make fun of them for that reason; it was a pure power play, preventative really. Emotional humans with delusions of grandeur and respect are bad fucking news. I'd assert superiority over them so that they feared / 'respected' me. I used to this so often, I forgot why I was doing it and started doing it to non-threats. I just enjoyed it. I became a bully and just like that, I lost what little self-respect I had left.
These were demented bullies, probably grown men; drunk and laughing and one of them stuck a milkshake cup to this homeless boy's head. Disgusted, I instinctively went to knock it off his head, when I thought better about crouching down next to a sleeping homeless boy in Silom. Blushing, I shot to my feet and in short time, I'd covered enough distance to feel safe. Uninvolved. Uninterested.
And I stopped and did something I've never done before. I screamed as loud as I could, in public. I no longer cared what the public's opinion was. I knew their filthy caper. I knew what their "raised eyebrows" at Empathy is all about. Their whispers. Their suspicion. Suddenly, they give a fuck about the boy? No one in the world gave a fuck about that child, and no one gave a fuck how loudly I screamed. It felt pretty good. It was a couple decades in the making.
I walked back to the boy and placed a couple sandwiches and a couple bottles of water next to his head, then took one back of each which I felt guilty about but the 7/11 was a long way away and I'm lazy so I exchanged the sandwich and bottle for 100 baht (which seemed fair). And I knocked the cup off his head. He didn't even stir.
The kid is going to die, he's probably dead already. There was nothing I could do for him, he's a moron hanging onto life. He's not going to live long, in this world of exploitation; I don't think. But then I think I know why 21,000 children die per day whilst billions of mothers with "too much love to hold in" feel compelled to make children of their own. It's the same reason why guys having too much fun to be convincingly happy feel compelled to bully a sleeping 7 year old homeless child. It's the same reason why the creeps who don't care about the boy will suddenly pretend to care, at your noticing what they don't give a fuck about. Or want to fuck. But then I repeat myself.
This is a fucked up world but my mimicking days are over. I don't give a fuck what "the public" asserts. The public is a bunch of filthy.fucking.Creeps.
The public needs laws to tell them how to behave and how to be humane. Or how not to be, but "reverse psychology" trips up a lot of Toddlers. It's very confusing. I don't need laws, I have Empathy. I suffer when your children suffer to please. I don't care who they're suffering to please; stop making them suffer you fucking creeps.
They're not going to be able to please anybody if all they want to do is please.
Spam leaned in and whispered the Secret of Silom Spam to me, but then it's possible it was only 'hidden' for the 'benefit' of people like me. Out of sight, out of mind. And that makes it 'naughty', to boot. Spam had grabbed me and dragged me, claiming that I would want his help to find ladies who pleased me in Silom. I doubt you'd be able to find a person capable of pleasing me in Silom. But needing Spam's help? It's unlikely. Spam leaned in and explained what he was doing, in a whisper that told me everything. He leaned in and explained, "I know where to find ladies."
I looked around at thousands of girls dying to please (impossibly unpleasant, for a human; for a creep...? Only a discerning gentleman would be displeased) and I ran for the 'safety' of my hotel room. No room service but I can hazard a guess the reason for that is linked to the reason they allow 20 male prostitutes to practically occupy the steps of the Hotel. I'd have to go outside with the gay prostitutes, all of whom are confused in a way that made me wonder how many I'd have to kill before they realised it is not - I repeat, not - cool to snatch at my junk. I mean, indefinitely. One imagines there is going to be a Tipping Point, at some point. How many snatches? I didn't know. I was getting worried. They didn't seem to understand I wasn't playing.
They would giggle at my polite requests they cease and desist. 10, 20 snatches later, I wasn't polite anymore. Another 10, 20 snatches and I was threatening lives with an intensity that frightened me. But in them? I could only induce flirtatious giggling. They'd seen it all before.
But I was in a different kind of closet.
Mine was more Disney than Christian. But closets are closets, you don't want to hide in them.
It's time to come out, you filthy faggot-in-denial.
If you're not a filthy faggot-in-denial, you wouldn't have gotten offended. Sike.
________
Some of you, if any of you could read, would be booking a ticket to Thailand. That's a mistake. The Philippines is where you want to fuck children, child-fuckers. Catholicism is entirely about the exploitation of children. Who else would buy into the insanity that is "humans are meant to suffer"?
Wrong question. The right question is, "What kind of human would sell such an insulting lie?"
I think you know the answer. Look in the mirror.
My self-esteem had dropped so low, I couldn't look in a mirror for years. I got back to my hotel room after doing literally nothing beyond a token gesture for the little boy, but it was no longer a lie. It was no longer charity. I was healing after a long time of being made to be confused about my best interests. I looked in the mirror and I wasn't happy. But it felt good to be able to look at myself without my eyes dropping instantly.
I guess you could say, I felt pleased.
_______
That boy is probably dead and child prostitutes are probably still pleasing creeps who don't know how to have fun. Those creeps become displeased with 16 year olds who are dying to please them. You can push the boundaries of sanity if you wish, but then you could try a brave, new strategy. You could try being human again?
You could start by not giving a fuck about what the creepy public claims to think. Their opinions are the most invalid sentiments in the universe. They worship their exploiters and sneer at phrases like "One Humanity". They should be put down like the sociopathic vermin they are. Any human understands what "one humanity" means. Empathy doesn't pick and choose who to feel sorry for, or when. If you're human, a human suffering cannot please you. The suffering of a human will be shared by you.
If it does, or if it isn't, I think we both know what you are. You're a sociopath-in-denial. You feel Empathy, selectively. How 'curious'. There are billions of you. This is what humanity has been reduced to. Denial of our inhumane acts.
But then who, or what, is accusing you? Maybe you should listen to those who judge you, even if they're inherently hypocritical? Only a creep would fail to understand how creepy the advice of the filthy Creep (who asserted that everyone sins, except for Him) truly was when he said "Judge not, lest ye be judged."
The only people who fear being judged are those who know they've been naughty. Or perhaps more telling, those who know they're going to be.
But they just can't help themselves! *teehee*
______
Humans are not meant to suffer. They're meant to be happy. But you have to invest in value for that to happen, and everyone is making a run on the bank of sanity which makes investing in children of your own seemingly insane. That's not an argument for exploiting children. This is merely a species hell-bent on reducing humanity into screaming robots who are never happy.
And less and less capable of pleasing anyone, let alone themselves. All they can think about is themselves. So suit yourselves, imbeciles. If yall were only interested in pleasing yourselves, intelligently; you'd be happy. But in a reduced state, imbeciles feel pleasure is attained at the expense of Others. They force and coerce people into doing things that they don't want to do. So no one is happy.
And ROFL @ you morons. The joke is on you.
No one is hardly pleased anymore, either.
That's the problem with being a retard. You've been retarded. Breed children, and you'll retard them as well. It's the transference of emotional degradation (idiotically) believed to be wisdom by the Caring and Compassionate (but so exploited) Mothers of Humanity. Their stupidity and their fears, their corrupted perception of Values, their denial and their propensity to believe deceit is their friend (how else will they be presentable?) - all their emotional corruption - has been transferred onto their children because they're humans-in-denial about...everything. They believe their homespun insanity is Wisdom. They also believe it's crafty to emotionally manipulate Others into pleasing them. Every mother is a Christian, basically; they do what they want to do and then they tell the 'beneficiaries' of their unsolicited imposition that they've benefitted, somehow.
It's why they have children of their own. You can't run that moronic Confidence Trick on an orphaned Child of Humanity. "I gave you life." Nup, that won't work.
Not only will it not work, but if you legitimately gave an orphaned child a shot at life you wouldn't need to play the Trick. They'd probably just exploit themselves, in gratitude; if you knew what you were doing. But mothers don't have a clue, really.
They just "wing it". Hey, it's worked so far! They must be onto something wise and good.
This has been very tragic historically, for our mystically-inclined Humanity. We have become less and less humane, as a result. We've literally been forced to become narcissists and sociopaths as a result of the exploitation and manipulation of Empathy, that most human and natural of all emotions. It was supposed to protect us from exploitation, but some creeps urinated in the stew. The Domino Effect is the Creepiest Societies imaginable. Gosh, they're all so polite.
Creeps who exploit empathy impose their filthy insanity onto everything. They get offended. Or they pretend to. Hard to know, isn't it? That's why it's easy to know you shouldn't give a fucking rats about offending the sensibilities of the senseless. Their problem. Give them the time of day, and they'll never become sane.
They'll just kill fun and make everyone as insane as they are.
Only the Insanely Corrupted would literally be so stupid that they would think it makes sense to exploit. Take candy from babies and you will make them cry. Take their food away and you'll make them scream. Then when you give them some piecemeal, they'll be so grateful they'll love you.
You know, if they were stupid. So it stands to 'reason' that they should be made to be as stupid as possible.
I understood what was going on in the CoG, with children. I wasn't falling for that dumb shit; I never signed up for any of it. I was a prisoner of my unlucky birth, which meant I was a prisoner for as long as those who hijacked me out of peace to exploit me were able to prevent me from making good my escape. But sometimes the simpleton children would be humane, and not wanting to see me suffer for my 'wickedness' in refusing to be grateful for crumbs, they would attempt to convert me to The Light.
It's very dark, the end of the road, for that Light. I had no wish to travel that road so their compassion affected me in a very profound and disturbing way. A very conflicting way. I would get annoyed, because I was confused about how I felt. Did I not care or did I care about their welfare? I believed I did not. But if I did not, why would their attempts to convert me to (in)sanity make me feel...guilty? I didn't want any bullshit responsibilities; I was flat out surviving.
My DNA was telling me "Narcissism isn't in your best interests. Life is not a battle one can fight alone."
My DNA was also screaming "Save yourself."
Both are sane and not remotely counter-intuitive. If your intuition has been corrupted by the Abrahamic religions, the above two IDENTICAL messages from our DNA speaking to you, might sound something like:
"Narcissism isn't in your best interests. You're going to need to learn how to fake Empathy, in a way that can Convince Others that you genuinely feel that way."
"Save yourself, at the expense of Others."
It's all about Self, really. I'm just more Selfish than you've ever been. You're a sociopath if you feel selective Empathy. Only sociopaths mourn 9/11 or plan to have child of their own, for example.
Humans mourn the 21,000 human children who have died every. Single. day since 11/09/01. 100 million human children, or so? If you do not value anything you don't own, you wouldn't understand what the hell I'm rambling about. Sanity sounds insane, to the insane. Logic sounds illogical to imbeciles who are so stupid, they cannot counter logical proofs as simple as "eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth" [2 + 2] = Justice (0). Or Insanity x 2 (4). Sense sounds like nonsense to the senseless. Thoughtful introspection sounds emo to the emotionally-damaged, who scream their feelings at anyone who will listen. Brilliance sounds ill-advisable, to the shrewd. You cannot save the exploited from exploitation they have bought into.
I mean, not unless they really want to be Selfish. But who is ever Selfish enough to understand the value in 7.3 billion humans when all they can 'think' is one thing.
ME.
ME.
ME.
It's not all about you. It's all about me. And my best interests are served by making you more valuable and less miserable.
I hardly give a rat's ass about you, in all honesty. Not in your present state. I literally couldn't get emotional about whether you lived or died.
Linear Mode
