You have to understand why you feel the way you feel to understand why you don't feel that way. This Tumblr wisdom is how Mike gets up in the morning imagining he's in control of his insanity, cause hey...
BRAND NEW DAY!
That's just the way he feels. He'll be screaming in pain very shortly because nothing - at all - has changed.
For filthy vile insane emotional screaming of batshit madness. 30 days. TBC from where the screaming bored me when he returns. What a fucking horror show.
Quote:
I respect the fact that you have no desire to go back and play, it is not my place to try and motivate you back,which is what I was doing. Why?
The evidence as I interpreted it said you were happier when you were playing and doing well than now, that's it.
I might be wrong, but I distinctly correlate that time period (when you were doing very well in poker) as being a high point in your life and the stories of girls and what not that you retold always seem much more positive and full of zeal and energy. The stories after seem hollow and somewhat melancholy in tone overall, like something is missing from your life. I realize who it might be, and if it's the loss of your girlfriend (I want to say Aun but I really don't want to guess and get it wrong, forgive me) that's made the difference I have this completely wrong and do owe you an apology for attempting to motivate you back into the game and moving past the setbacks that ended your time playing.
I just want to add that there is a lot of bullshit and negativity associated with poker and it's community, but underneath all the rubbish is a convenient way for you to make considerable amounts of money which has the capacity to benefit a lot of people. I thought and still think losses and squandering finances really killed your spirit, and I can understand that to an extent, but even if you lost 1mil usd either tilting or playing tired or just plain up against better players, yes that is 1mil that could have done a LOT of good but really, if you stopped playing altogether, those same people who might benefit are really losing 30-40 times as much, because you would have bounced back at some point and made up the losses.
Also you squander, you learn. You're a lot different than the person who played a while back, older, more experienced, and more planted emotionally. That's all I have to say on you playing cards, I really want you happy/successful
To be continued when the screamer returns from making me happy/successful. It's very important to him. He's so respectful.
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