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Old 05-17-2012, 05:17 PM   #81
Statutory Ape
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It's actually pretty clever I like to think.

I will gladly tell it, but I am doing so with a little faith you won't be a complete asshole about the whole thing because you haven't slept in who knows how long. Deal?

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  Thinking you could parlay my sneering into a promise to be insulting when reviewing non-existent content.
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Old 05-17-2012, 05:20 PM   #82
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But back to the story for which I have an introduction, a conclusion, 300 boring pages of brilliance I'd like to fit in but will probably have to cull; and this.

The argument. Without all the convincing, of course.

About the Thai riots / Red Shirts betraying the peace deal to stab everyone in the back on the night Bangkok burned 18 May '10.

I was getting flashbacks to my childhood. All the way back to when I was seven. I had read all about this very strategy. I had visualised it all.

All the seemingly insane and wanton destruction. But they have a purpose. Or at least, they have an aim. The screaming is the means to a very horrifying end. The arsonists are the screamers; they're communicating to anyone capable of fear.

"We are terrifying. We are insane. We will slaughter and kill anyone who doesn't join us. Are you with us or against us?"

If you're capable of being afraid, Thaksin's Red Shirt arsonists were talking to you on the night of 18 May '10. As all of Thailand reeled from the horror.

On the night of 18 May 2010 I was one of a tiny handful of people in the country who understood what Thaksin's screamers were doing.

I instantly recognised the pattern. I had seen it all before in my mind as a tiny child. I had not created it. It was not my intellectual property. None of the evil in the world is created by children. Parents are just too stupid to realise their children aren't bright enough to come up with that insanity on their own. More creative screaming horror shows put all that evil into a single book they give to children to read.

It's not very good. But it's very good at making people frightened. Uh oh. Imprinting.

Thailand's Red Shirts are imprinted to Thaksin and this isn't remotely insightful or even original. Other writers have noted the cult-like adoration of those Thaksin kills when CNN needs bodies. But I wonder how many of those bright fellows understand how the printing happened.

Long before 18 May '10. You only have to look at Thailand WikiLeaks cables. Every other one is talking about more Red Shirt horror. What was the media doing? They're doing what you're doing. They're shooting themselves in the foot by being afraid.

I'm afraid. But then, I dunno. Because do I want to live in a world where Evil wins ALL the time, because everyone is so afraid? I'm a wimp, and spiders and things make me shriek and I hate pain. But there is a outside chance for Humanity. It's really slim.

I dunno. It's just a hole in the game theory lockdown, calling the win for Evil. Don't forfiet. Think. Consider. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's worth getting finer minds than mine to consider? Who knows. It's a chance.

Newton's Third Law of Motion:
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

There is a threshold where the fear of domestic terrorist campaigns launched against the victims of the state will splash over fears of death. Or vice-versa. You get the picture. Actually, it's inevitable that Good will comeback. If there is any Good left .

That's what I'm worried about. It's what I was worried about on 18 May '10. I had read this plot. I'd understood the pattern. This was a set play. I'd see it from miles away.

HATE HATE BURN DESTROY KILL HATE ARRG SCREAM PAIN

Only the Thai Army will know how many filthy screamers got their cummupence that night and I heard the shots ring out but it was never enough. it was never going to be enough. Once the screaming starts...Evil wins.

And Evil won.

I knew it, I had the set play burned in my repressed memory. Once the screaming had died down. Next would come the 'sweet'. Yingluck. Adorable Yingluck. She's probably literally just trying to bring her big brother home.

I called it and others did as well but no one was listening. Now everyone's too confused and frightened to have a clue. Everyone's gone silent. Playing it shrewd. And slowly, though it's been heart-breakingly painful, I've watched history get revisioned every day.

YouTube videos missing.

Articles mysteriously published and indexed by Google, no longer online.

Evidence evaporating. Posting accounts closed. Outspoken voices for sanity suddenly deciding they have better things to do, than speak or write or fight.

Just vassals thinking 'smart'. When insanity is wrong, and powerful; it can be very dangerous to be right.

I don't know if my story can do anything. But if I could only tell it right, I know it could - do - something. It's Truth. And I'm 100% right about the HATE HATE HATE DESTROY HATE screaming of evil's pain.

Thaksin brought Western evil tricks to Thailand and owned Decency the way that Decency has been getting owned around the world by these tricks for thousands of years.

The Red Shirts are the Chosen People. They die just like the Chosen People. Gratuitously.

Thaksin is Moses. Leading his glazed-eyed slaves out of imagined slavery, into a land of milk and honey also known as Bangkok. They're going to wander around for a bit because the trick to successful politics is never to do your job. Had Thaksin done everything for the poor he 'wanted' to do, in the five years he had total power between 2001 and 2006; he wouldn't have a platform on which to run for power again. The poor are never going to get what they want because they're the joke on which the world runs.

It would have run a lot better, using Abhisit's welfare state game-card. I know how the Chosen People have suffered.

BURN HATE KILL BURN DESTROY HORROR HATE SCREAM.

All the vassals line up like lemmings on the side they're most terrified of, to sneer. He's THEIR father. They're imprinted. He's terrifying. They're powerless.

"And together, they will obliterate you." Hahah.

How is Abhisit or Sanity going to stand a chance against horror, this horrifying. It's so horrifying what they're doing, you wouldn't believe a human could be capable of doing it.

And you know Horror. They'll exploit that.

Cull nothing for the book, shorten down to 5 pages or so for the internet. The above is quite good.

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  You're not who I had in mind when I asked for feedback. We're full up on dementia for now.
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Old 05-17-2012, 05:38 PM   #83
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It's actually pretty clever I like to think.

I will gladly tell it, but I am doing so with a little faith you won't be a complete asshole about the whole thing because you haven't slept in who knows how long. Deal?

?

I don't believe you have any content.

You think you can play coy and leverage emotional assurances out of me?

Fucking Christians.
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Old 05-17-2012, 05:54 PM   #84
Statutory Ape
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Here is the gist. I'm not sure how to break this down, forwards or backwards, or give the plot right away?

Basically a guy (me) is going about his life, trying to make things happen for himself. The story starts out and he's on his mountain bike on a somewhat busy road, when some woman pulls out in front of traffic (blocking his progress in the bike lane) and the way she does it, she has no chance whatsoever of not stopping traffic, looks to her left and sees our hero and her mouth just drops open a little, and she sits there. She just sits there, having literally NO clue what to do, mouth hanging open a little, our hero stops dead in the road, and is just flabbergasted at this womans stupidity.

"MOVE!" he shouts, and suddenly a few car honks also sound off impending disaster, but the woman does nothing. Suddenly a *ding ding ding* flashing red light shaped like a person with a seat belt on alerts the woman that her seat belt is not on, waking her up from her stupor. She springs into action, clasping her seat belt, and suddenly she backs out further and is almost clipped by a mustang going the opposite way. She yanks the steering wheel like she's steering the titanic away from impending doom smashes the gas pedal and the minivan hurtles into action, crisis averted.

The gist of the movie is kind of this- the world is overpopulated, so to trim the masses it is decided to yank all the safety warnings and laws designed to protect stupid people. This is done in secret, and our hero goes back to normal life after the incident and suddenly, while out for a jog, sees people start killing themselves left and right, drinking bleach or stepping out in front of trains and what have you. He finds a man dead with an empty bottle of bleach next to him, and wonders "hey, didn't he know to read the warning label?" but upon looking at the empty bleach container, sees there is no warning.

And that's the gist of it- there is more to it, but basically the smart people who run things in secret decide to covertly remove all the safety warnings and labels and about 75% of the worlds population kill themselves off. Eventually at the end the world works perfectly and functions just fine because all the morons are dead.

It sounds sinister, but it's intended to be funny, but not overtly funny, more slapstick in nature.

I have also written what I have much much better, It's a work in progress. Open to ideas/suggestions, if anyone has any.

It could be quite funny I think.

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  You've never thought in your life. You've never *inspired* laughter, either.
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Old 05-17-2012, 06:23 PM   #85
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for the record, id write this for you but the offer is predicated on us hashing it out in person when i return to land of smiles (ha hhahahahaha) in about 10 to 16 months.
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Old 05-17-2012, 06:33 PM   #86
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for the record, id write this for you but the offer is predicated on us hashing it out in person when i return to land of smiles (ha hhahahahaha) in about 10 to 16 months.

My rough draft should be completed within 20-30 days, from there I have no clue what to do. I can't pay you, not right now, but things may change soon. I have a phone interview Monday for a gig in north dakota as an admin assistant...and I hope they don't expect me to wear a skirt or something. We will see. I wouldn't be against working something respectable out in person, if you actually saw enough potential, that is.

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Old 05-17-2012, 06:36 PM   #87
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I dont see enough potential.

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Old 05-17-2012, 06:37 PM   #88
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Old 05-17-2012, 06:37 PM   #89
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My rough draft should be completed within 20-30 days, from there I have no clue what to do. I can't pay you, not right now, but things may change soon. I have a phone interview Monday for a gig in north dakota as an admin assistant...and I hope they don't expect me to wear a skirt or something. We will see. I wouldn't be against working something respectable out in person, if you actually saw enough potential, that is.

The Land of Smiles is Thailand, you trailer trashed hick.

Read some time.

Or just keeping going with that gut feeling about things you embarrass yourself over.

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Old 05-17-2012, 06:45 PM   #90
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UH OH
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