****Official skatz brag/fail thread about how many ladies you've had sex with****

[rum dick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sonatine

Can we delete this thread now?

Initiate sipowicz...form of blissful unawareness.

[rum dick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by VaughnP

Cliff notes. She blew me. Was too tight for me to get it in and stay hard with semi whiskey dick, since she insisted on a condom. Unfiltered premium content. Rofl

Wait wat? She made you wear a condom for a blowjob???

Comments

19 yo are so uptight these days

[anatine]

the protocols of sipowicz will be engaged.

[VaughnP]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rum dick

Wait wat? She made you wear a condom for a blowjob???

No, I was fucking out of it by the time we got around to the fuckening - started the night off with a double shot of Fireball at some bar, literally did go bowling pounding beers the entire time, ended up somewhere else taking Jager Bombs, ended up in a hotel pounding beers again. Anyhow, even though she was wet as can be, the condom worked against me the moment I put it on. This girl was like one finger tight ---- Never happening without a steel erection, especially when I am an 8 of 10 drunk. I barely knew her, so I just laughed it off and insisted she blow me, which she did. . . twice that night and once early this morning before I bailed.

I did however technically get it in for a moment, so yes, one more to the count. A kind of literal rum dick situation.

Anyhow, those Trojan Bareskin condoms aren't worth a fuck for anyone reading this. Avoid at all costs.

[Bobby Wong]

when your alcoholism prevents you from fucking teen sluts you should at least think about cutting down a little and working the first 4 or 5 steps of an addiction program

[Behemoth]

I concur with Dr. Wong. If you're too drunk to "smash" hot teen pussy, what's the point? And I'm going to ask you a question. 2002-2003. Do you remember it?

[Hillbilly Jim]

so you still had whiskey dick in the morning or are you a huge faggot?

[gay sex]

literally before even looking i could tell these horrible tags were behemoths\

LITERALLY

[VaughnP]

Rofl I was drinking until 4:30am, slept for an hour and a half, woke up, complimented her on her blowjob skills, and she happily showed them off again. I was in hangover hell and still intoxicated, so I honestly didn't even feel like pursuing it, and I thought the whiskey dick thing was still possibly an issue. She was a talented cocksucker, so I did some quick calculations and decided that laying there and letting her do her thing was the optimal move. Get serious with your early morning energy expenditure efficiency.

Pussy isn't so rare, brahs. You guys should get out more.

[gay sex]

ronald were gonna need you to calm down