lol I ran a family of 4 off the highway in 2002, off into a ravine lol
It's pretty funny.
This is a pretty good story, actually. I’m probably gonna bounce around a bit, but if you niggers wrote stories like this, you could be vaguely interesting. Just quietly.
But it’s pretty funny, how I ran that nuclear family off the road. And into the Grand Canyon. Let me tell you about it.
The truth is, I had every right to feel hard done by because I was hungover and running late for my first posting at RAAF Edinburgh in Adelaide after graduating ADFA. Also, I dropped my cigarette and it wasn't about to burn my bare feet as I assumed - it was actually burning a golf ball sized hole straight through the rear passenger seat behind me. Obviously I was unaware of this at the time; but in later years, that rabbit hole down to the springs gave me lots of opportunities to tell a funny anecdote when people would get in the back seat and say "What the fuck? You've got a hole in your back seat."
Like, I already knew that.
But then I wouldn’t avail myself of the opportunities to tell any funny anecdotes. I would just get awkward and uncomfortable cause, you know; it would remind me about the day I ran a family of four off the highway and into a ravine in early Feb 2002.
They came out of nowhere; it was really kind of unfair. Just rotten luck, really. I'd written off the car I was driving only months earlier doing 170 km/hr in the pouring rain, driving from ACT > QLD drunk one night after my g/f dumped me. I literally might have been listening to Air Supply; but only semi-ironically because Van Wilder is god.
She didn't dump me so much as forget to tell me she "saw no point" in us continuing as I was going to Adelaide and she was about to graduate from Girls Grammar (high school). I honestly thought she was coming to Adelaide and that we were getting married. We clearly weren’t on the same page. I was confused, because if she "saw no point", why was I continuing to spend every night at her place? And why had I bought this stupid ring, I thought. What a little shit.
She wouldn't be drawn into a discussion about any of those things, or anything. She wasn’t interested in talking. I felt I was owed some explanations and shit or something but she didn’t want to talk about it. So we didn’t.
She lived pretty far from ADFA, but I would race over in my modified Celica that Aleks Strikis could get up to 235 km/hr but which I couldn't get over 205 km/hr (much to my embarrassment). I mostly cruised around 160 km/hr because my Speedometer was 0-260km / hr and the median speed was 130 km/hr so obviously because I'm a better driver than the median (heck, I was effectively going to fly jets for the RAAF) I cruised at 160 km/hr, unless I was in a hurry.
I would make sure I'd slow down for the spots where there were Fixed Speed Cameras and I never got a speeding fine in Canberra. Of course, SA wasn't nearly as cool about speed as the Feds; I lost my license (twice) in the following year (2002) courtesy of Random Speed Testing - in SA, the scum just hide cameras in ridiculous locations and you just get a letter in the mail showing a photograph of your vehicle and the speed you were going with a $800 fine or whatever. Revenue-raising fucks.
It wasn't a big deal, though; I had 12 points which meant I could afford to get a few snaps before I'd have to slow down. But I was a VIP with important things to do and it's a long drive to Glenelg as you can see.
I don't know what that 55 min is all about lol, it never took me more than 30-40 min obv; except for this one time when this girl who could deep-throat (only one I've ever met) was doing her thing and I was high and it took us like 2 hrs to get from Adelaide to the base. I knocked over a red post office box on the way, but that didn’t really contribute to the time of the journey. I was just all over the fucking road (and off) for 40 km.
Later, that girl killed herself. Hung herself in her room, her little sister told me. I don't think it had anything to do with me. I was straight up with her from the start, I didn't want a g/f but for a Sunday Girl she was tops. The night before she killed herself, she met my new g/f and I coming out of a club and it was awkward because when I said I didn't want a g/f, obviously I meant she wasn't hot enough. I was just polite though, so I just told her I didn’t want a new g/f. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
Pretty sure she understood. She was cool enough about it, even - distant, or distracted; or pretending to be. She was cool. Right up until she killed herself, I guess. It probably had nothing to do with me; I hadn’t called her in weeks. I only felt bad because I initially thought it was a lame trick; to get her sister to call me with such a grizzly emo prank - but then I saw the Obituaries and there was an emo poem I guess she wrote, about love and death or some dumb shit. It was a pretty good poem, but a little tragic really.
I didn't go to the funeral. I wouldn't have known anyone, so fuck that. I felt bad because I might have laughed when her sister called. I thought it was a dumb prank. I couldn’t really remember and it’s not like I could call her sister and ask; that would be rude. Plus, they probably had more important things to do than worry about my neurotic face. I left them in peace. Well, you know.
When your kids kill themselves; it pretty much sums up how tight a parent you are, doesn’t it? It’s funny when parents are confused, telling each other they “did all they couldâ€.
That was probably where they went wrong.
Anyway, I lost my license pretty quickly to SA’s hidden random speed cameras but then I got it back like in 3 months with 6 points so I hardly even noticed the stress - obviously I just kept driving without a license, but it was moderately stressful even though I’d never been pulled over in my life. And it’s not like I even had a choice, so I tried to think pragmatically. Am I supposed to - not - leave the base for three months? There was no public transport. Am I going to run to the City? Hah.
I tried doing that once, albeit in the reverse direction after the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, where I’d ditched my friends after meeting this Jewish chick who was - fucking - insane. She'd been a Lieutenant or a Captain in the Israeli Army and she could throw a punch. I’d given her shit about something silly a couple times at the concert and she’d drilled me first with a jab that kinda rattled me and then a tight uppercut into my kidney that I mistakenly thought had killed me, for a moment.
I thought she was taking me home but it turned out she was sleeping in her friend's Kombi, to whom she barked out an order upon waking, which I guess amounted to “take a hike†in Yiddish; Hebrew, maybe. Her friend just acknowledged, and obeyed. No complaints or stalling or even a query. I guess she didn't like getting punched. Fuck knows where she was going to go; walk around the city all night? I briefly went to say something, but then I didn’t like getting punched either. So I didn’t.
This Israeli Army Officer wanted me to hit her and shit during sex; choke her neck and pull her hair and weird-ass shit like that - because lots - I mean, lots - of girls are into that shit. I'm kinda squeamish so I'd be like "nah, I’m good - no really" and then she'd instantly turn me into a liar with a punch for being a "whiny bitch". It’s true. I am a whiny bitch. She was starting to annoy me a little with the domestic violence - but she was pretty hot so I let her beat me up and tried not to get cut about it.
I was pretty high, and somehow we started talking about the Palestinians and she was explaining how it was really sad; that they all have to die. I thought she was being rhetorical or melodramatic, and I laughed and said "yea but those two year toddlers must be a chore".
And she turned to look me dead on, and said, "Oh, it's absolutely horrible. No one wants to kill them. But you need to understand, it's Us v Them.â€
She paused, momentarily. Then her face brightened.
“Have you seen an Israeli toddler? I want kids one day."
And then she stopped, awkwardly; having realised what she said. Or more likely, who - or what - she was saying it to. I don’t think she’d slept with a lot of non-Jewish guys before. Or she wouldn’t punch so hard. Soldiers can probably take that shit. I was just a fake officer, who flitted in and out of the Mess without actually doing much of anything, aside from a lot of drugs. And 17 year olds. Some 16 year olds. But they all had fake IDs so I was covered.
She couldn’t have kids with me, even if she was sane and I wasn’t a whiny bitch. I hope you understand why. Sophie made her choice, and Sophie cannot choose someone like me. It’s always the children who never get to choose.
But that was just adding 20% to the horror, which was - basically - that she really did mean they all needed to die. To be fair, they probably think much the same thing. It's a nasty situation, but then US geopolitical strategy since WWII hasn't been as stupid as empire-building. Hah. They're geniuses, they just go in and support an underdog and then leave once there's a full-blown armed conflict / uprising / rebellion. They don't put out spot-fires so much as start them all; but it's good for US arms manufacturers and probably has all other kinds of advantages that are classified for the national interests / CIA.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure Israel - as in the nation-state - was (is) a part of all that. It makes perfect sense. Throw them in there, sit back and watch the fireworks. And ever since they gave them nukes (or put the convincing goss out that they did - I’ll believe nukes exist when I see the mushroom cloud; until then, they’re as likely to be bluffing I reckon), the US disposition towards Israel has been nonsensical. Almost callous, even brutal.
The US armed Israel’s enemies in the Gulf, then shook their heads apologising for their “neutral†status as the guys they armed started rolling their brand new US-supplied tank divisions into strategic positions - clearly attempting to choke off Israeli access to the Straits. Israel were all on their own with the US arming their enemies and they were game-play-screwed. Egypt and Jordan, Syria and Iraq - and a host of other Arab nations - all licked their lips and Nasser declared the imminent destruction of Israel was in the post. He had every reason to believe this.
But Israel had other ideas. Hurrah for the IAF, but I'll literally never understand why they haven't made a movie about the Six Day War already. Because it’s the finest war in history; just reading about it gives me an erection. If you know nothing about the Six Day War, you should read about it, because Israel was sfscrewed. But then the entire IAF was shipped into the air on a wing and a prayer in an all or nothing gamble based on potentially bogus Intel but - unlike most wars - when Israel goes to war, it’s for the marbles. All but 12 of the IAF’s 200 aircraft were scrambled and they flew in low over the sea and they caught those dumb Egyptian fucks eating breakfast. Almost the entire Egyptian Air Force was destroyed on the tarmac. 338 Egyptian aircraft destroyed for the loss of only 19 Israeli fighters; which gave Israel the guaranteed W when they were staring down the barrel at annihilation. Israeli civilians had been steeling themselves for occupation. Things were very, very bleak.
Israel was going to get destroyed in a ground war. Jordan, as the USA’s guy in the ME, had hundreds of bright and shiny US M48 Patton tanks, M113 APCs, a US-mechanized infantry battalion and a paratrooper battalion trained by the new US school. Egypt had a lot of muscle, and their soldiers were veterans of the Yemen Civil War. Syria weren’t there to fuck spiders, either. They had some serious military assets as well.
But the IAF caught the entire Egyptian Air Force napping like dumbazzes on Day 1 of the War, as tensions were mounting towards the inevitable war. Moronic vassal buffoons. Then the dumbest War in history was fought, for Six Days - to save face, I suppose. But seriously, the Egyptian and Jordanian armored divisions got rolled so cruelly; all those divisions put into play by that moron Nasser, literally for no possible game-play outcome but heavy losses. What with the IAF controlling 100% of the sky, unchallenged. Why even put your tanks into play there? Pretty sure it was about saving face. Because Nasser, upon learning basically his entire AF had been destroyed (lol - imagine being that messenger), lied brazenly to King Hussein in convince him to “cast the die†- telling him that a returning squadron of Israeli fighters showing up on Jordanian radar were Egyptian bombers en route to bomb the crap out of Tel Aviv. And he did the same thing to Syria, claiming the entire IAF had been destroyed.
But when the IAF took out 2/3rds of the Syrian Air Force later that day, they realised (lol) that this could not be true.
What a ridiculous farce. What’s the point of lying to your allies there? 100% domestic saving face bullshit. What a moron.
Towards the end of the war, a petulant IAF then attacked the USS Liberty with napalm, tired of being lied to by their ‘neutral’ US allies but also perhaps with good reason not to want it monitoring their comms. 34 sailors were killed, a couple hundred wounded. Separate US and Israeli investigations concluded it was an error, but no one really believes it was a mistake. All the evidence presented in favour of it being a mistake is basically riddled with holes and unexplained erasures, blank silences where responses to pretty important questions have been deleted etc. The two nations combined to cover-up the fact that the IAF was ordered to destroy the ship, knowing full-well it was the USS Liberty and the US Secretary of State Robert McNamara recalled US sorties scrambled from nearby carriers sent to defend the vessel.
The most likely of the theories I’ve read was that the USS Liberty was deemed - correctly - to be a security risk by the Israeli Cabinet, who were under no illusions about having been left to fight a war of potential annihilation alone. They were well justified to be hostile to a creepy intelligence vessel, which the USN was lying about the location of. They tried to get the USN to remove it but when they refused, the IAF was given the order to take it out. The US shrugged cause, whatever. Just some expendable sea vassals.
The Thais taught me about saving face. They're big fans of it. You can have a mistress, and your wife either will or won't mind. But if she doesn't mind, she'll fucking mind if you don't let her save face; i.e. just don’t bump into your mistress whilst you're having dinner with your wife, or ever mention her in your wife’s presence. But everyone can know you have a mistress and that's okay. Just ne'er the two shall meet, and of course you never talk about it. Faces saved!
Oh, the only problem with face-saving is that if your wife does mind; she can't really confront you cause like, that's not face-saving is it? Exchange "wife" with "me", and that's how I began to appreciate the ‘brilliance’ of face-saving. Being lectured in indignant fashion by a furious g/f you've just caught cheating for embarrassing yourself and her by bringing it up, is an experience that should have been more hilarious than it was. And would have been but this girl's name was Aun. And Aun = Pain (official translation).
But anyway, the American military never saves face. They'll just go careening in, take their hits or dish out some shock & awe. Fight a one-sided battle for Freedom, like last year when NATO brought Sharia law Freedom to Libya; or slug out an extended bloody campaign of attrition like that debacle in 'Nam. Before retreating, in 'defeat'. But not before napalm'ing the shit out the place, cause Charlie is a sneaky fucker who hides in villages with naked children. Well, they'd have been better off naked when the napalm hits you know what I mean? lol
Love that photo. It's a crack-up. Look how terrified that dweeb is on the left. Smaller kid behind him isn't all losing his wits when everyone around him is losing theirs. That kid is a man, my son. Or maybe his little brother or mom is back there. Whoops. US troops are chillaxed. They'd have seen napalm's work before. 'Nam.
The US military never hangs around with any real purpose except to take out some centralised power source. Then they kick along, leaving carnage to fight chaos and / or fury in their wake.
My point being is that the US military does this intentionally. They aren’t interested in empire-building, so much as building their own personal empires and networks. The empires of politicians or shadowy types dictating to politicians. But then these guys aren’t moronic or anything, obviously there's a - purpose - to the madness. Well, they are moronic but they don’t realise they’re being moronic. They think they’re being ‘crafty’ and ‘shrewd’. But then you think much the same thing for very similarly idiotic reasons, on a much smaller scale.
But as a result of US military intervention, the globe has been hopping with armed conflict for a long time now which is really good for business. The CIA is mixed up in a lot of shit as well, supporting anti-US revolutionaries that used to confuse me (actually, the US supporting anti-US sentiment had always made no sense until I realised this fact about US foreign policy - and promptly discovered I was like the last person in the world to ‘work it out’). But take Pakistan, for instance - billions of $ shipped to politicians who whip up anti-US sentiment? Whilst the ISA, effectively funded by the US taxpayer, ships Intel to the Taliban - some allies, huh? But then they know the score.
Speaking of the Taliban, I'd like to poll the parents of US soldiers killed or wounded by the Taliban under the Bush administration to get their reaction on the whole negotiation and treaty process, because the Taliban aren't Evil anymore? I guess not, NATO forces have been bribing them with huge cash payments for ages to get the body count down, but then I could have told them that was going to backfire cause obv the Taliban would just buy weapons with the money whilst they wait for a more - opportune - time to kill US soldiers. Now the US literally has to negotiate cause the Taliban is armed to the teeth and as strong as ever.
Also it wouldn’t serve any purpose for US forces to be dying in Afghanistan 100 years from now, so they have to leave at some point. Probably from the US national interest PoV, that point would optimally be at some point before going in there. But regardless, never in history (at least since the illusion of the sovereign-nation-state, circa the signing of the Treaty of Westphalia where the Holy Roman Emperor [i.e. Vatican] parcelled out all the vassals to Europe's insulted, warring, offending Dukes) - never in the history of the illusion that is the 'sovereign-nation-state', has a foreign horde of vassals been able to occupy a nation of patriots.
I mean, you can't count Vichy in France because there was like the non-existent Free French invented by de Gaulle, the crafty genius. But the truth was, literally no one in France got killed by the Germans because the Germans wanted to bring their superior culture to the world, which they would then administrate. They had no motive to destroy. They had no motive to kill anyone, really; except the Jews, but then Hitler was saying what he had in plan for Europe's Jews literally from 1932 so they had a lot of time to run and didn't.
But then I like it how no one talks about - why - the Jews were 'caught' napping in their ghettos. I guess the UK and US already had enough Jews. Bad luck, really; for the Jews and the ghettos. So they got burned there by the UK and the US, but then my puns are as terrible as the Polish resistance was futile. Compare Poland and France, if you will. Poland was full of heroes, and the Germans couldn't understand. Moronic Reichstag-tripping imbeciles high on nationalism; they literally couldn't work out why Poland would imagine its dumbazz culture was going to be a viable culture other cultures would want to embrace. Did they even have plans for world domination? The Germans were just confused.
The Polish culture isn't all that superior to any culture, really. The Poles just basically want to be left alone, with their culture. It was hardly superior, and if you'd met any Poles (like my WWII lecturer) you'd understand. So the German soldiers were horrified at the fierce resistance of the Polish Underground, so they just kept upping the stakes on the - deterrence.
1:1, 2:1, 10:1 and even 20:1 I think (I don’t have the heart to look it up - I think it might even have been 50:1 towards the end). More and more German soldiers fell to 'terrorism'. But 20x as many Poles. lol. You can't reprisal your way to occupation, you'll just create more patriots. Vassals be imprinted and shit.
Russia had lots of patriotic vassals. 38 million, if I remember correctly, got slaughtered in the most hilarious Front in all of War History. Like the Blitzkrieg v the Russian Winter has been done to death, and you can say what you like about Napoleon and Hitler and history repeating itself, but I don't care nearly as much as I care about what Hitler's plans were supposed to be, once he took Stalingrad and St Petersburg (Leningrad) and Moscow. Literally WTF, was he planning on occupying the Urals?
There's nothing on the other side except suicidal vassals, and those Nips were Allied already. Well, Axis already.
Pretty ridiculous that the Allied Powers would choose that label. Confuses the shit out of things. Like the fact that Finland were Axis, i.e. Nazis. lol. Finns hate history. You have to keep reminding them, or else they’d forget.
But basically, 38 million Russians died to...preserve the Russian "way of life", I guess? What I want to know and never will, is how many were killed by Russians when they thought better of running straight into the entrenched machine guns of attrition (the Germans were sandbagged in, with supply lines cut all the way back to The Reich's HQ) only to learn a lesson no vassal ever gets to learn twice, when they were cut down by the machine guns of attrition manned by their comrade officers (to be fair, it's not fun being under siege - people get so hungry they start eating their babies and shit - literally, people do that shit; I'd probably just pass on the main, and have twice as much dessert but I've never been under siege so we all might be baby-eaters until we crash in the Andes and find out what - stuff - we're made of).
Or our buddies will.
But it's not all doom and gloom. You can't take out that many men from a Dude v Girl equation, and not come up with Gtfo. I don't need to show my working, Russia had so many girls who weren't getting any, they had to close the (Iron) blinds to stop American dudes looking in and realising, "Cold War? Fuck. That.â€
And you would. Russian girls are...unable to speak English, but I still proposed to like a dozen of them, and I was 100% serious. I'm a sucker for exuberance. Thankfully they couldn't understand a word I was saying, because vassals who can speak with other vassals become problematic vassals. And I'd suck in a Russian winter. I'd be a whiny bitch.
Anyway as we all know, Russia is full of patriots, and drunks. No homeless people in Moscow though, which is always good for a giggle because Russia is not like a Welfare State lol. So next time you see a beggar, think about how beautiful Moscow is during a Russian winter. They get to wipe the slate clean.
Beggars are the worst.
But like seriously, there's being unlucky (losing your shit or whatever and going bankrupt) and then there's being UNLUCKY (losing your shit or whatever and going bankrupt in Moscow in Spring). Five months yo, start hustling. Everyone is hustling in Moscow, even the kids. I literally saw homeless people pregnant. That's optimism for you right there.
Obv I was there in Summer (it was sfhot I got sunburned) but if you pass out in a park - which I used to do all the time, cause drinking...you don't really have a choice when you're a child, not if you want to be cool anyway; you better quickly become okay with blood poisoning and passing out or you're going to struggle, because Society explains to children how it's not cool because kids aren’t - OLD - enough to drink. Which makes it cool, until you're old enough. Society warns kids! But you know kids, they just don't listen. They know they're not - allowed - to do it, which is why they're not - deterred - from doing it. Do you understand the Law?
Parents of children don't. Children are always trying to grow up too fast. Boys get blood poisoning at 13. Girls get STDs from creeps at 13. Circle of life, and no one has a solution - what more can be done, once you outlaw something? Put your foot down twice as hard? Ground her till high school is over? You can't occupy a child's mind with your edicts and rules and telling them they can't have fun doing the fun adult things you do; not until they're "old enough". They'll just know they're old enough.
I was drinking, wasn't I? Old enough.
She can split her legs, can't she? Old enough.
lol @ parents and Society. So 'hapless' and 'confused' and 'perplexed'.
...but you don't want to do that dumb shit in Moscow, at least not during Winter. You pass out in a park drunk in Winter and you won't wake up with bowels you hate for saving your life, in embarrassing life-saving fashion; you'll just be dead. In like 2 min or something, as your blood rate slows. Good game. At least, this is what they warned us in Moscow, and I was like "what retards would sleep outdoors in winter, or even go outdoors drunk" and the first thing I thought was "bums and their booze" and then I asked what homeless people did during Winter and no one said anything at dinner for like 25 min, and I thought I was going to be asked to leave a couple times.
Nobody likes unpleasant things.
Except, the US military / CIA. That's like, their entire thing. And they are pros. Every military or covert operation is literally designed to destabilise. It's genius. Other morons try to bring their superior culture to ungrateful shit-holes like Warsaw and can't understand why the patriots don't “think better of it†when you kill their women and children in reprisals.
You can't occupy a nation of loyal vassals. Literally every vassal can tell you that. But still, the US pretends to 'try'. Before signing peace treaties and accords and agreeing on 38th parallels.
But without the US, there would be no Taiwan today. And that would be a fucking tragedy.
I supposed they'd just be Chinese but then maybe not cause if you're so moronic you feel compelled to extenuate your bloodline, you're not liable to want a fucking girl. Seriously. A strong sturdy boy to carry on your proud family name is what you're going to opt for. You’ll just pass on the girls, until then. And shhh it's purely random that none of your strong sturdy boys can find a bride. Where are the girls?
Unlike the missing choirgirls, I can tell you the answer for China's mysterious male>female ratio. The girls are in the dustbins of history. One child policy; as if you'd want a girl? It's funny. They all have boys without realising there's going to be blood when there isn't enough girls to go around. But guys are cool, they'll just settle for a peasant girl sold to them by her parents from a a nearby country which has been destabilised by the US. This literally happens, a lot. But they agree on terms fair and square, between the child and her relatives so I don’t know what all the non-hubbub is about, really.
Except the girls have some kids and then run away, usually back home. Hilariously. Leaving behind broken homes and shit, broken hearts. But this is what happens when you buy love. I should know, I’ve tried.
Still, I've written to the Taiwanese government to warn them not to let those YouTube vids get onto Baidu. It could be Game Over for Chang Kai-Shek and Co. As if you could even blame the sons of One Child China. It was their parents who were the moronic vassals; hardly their fault there isn’t enough girls to go around, is it? And Taiwan had a different - kind - of breeding policy. It's going to find a happy medium, one feels; in a reunited China. The war will help as well, with the male>female ratio. But they'd better not smoke any of those banging girls, or I will write a furious letter in condemnation. In English.
Because there are six times as many people learning English in mainland China now, than there are people in England. Vassals not as dumb as they sound.
But yeah, nationalism for Taiwan was always going to be an experiment in redundancy. China was always going to take back Taiwan, eventually. The US has always known that. China plays long-ball.
The US plays long-ball with reverse short-ball. It's been working quite 'well' for the US, but then Americans often get themselves confused with the US. As in, whose interests are being served by napalming children.
But from thirdworldtraveller.com I got this information which is - almost entirely - verifiable (at least, I got tired of verifying it about 50% of the way through and hadn't found anything remotely controversial yet). If you get bored, just imagine how many people died per line. Well, it won't help with readability but it will make you feel guilty for skipping it.
----------------- US Empire-'building' since WWII
China 1945-1949: Intervention in Civil War, taking the side of David v Goliath obv. Creation of Taiwan.
Italy 1947-1948: Intervened in elections to beat those Commies fair and square. Capitalism hurrah! :berlusconi
Greece 1947-1949: Intervention in Civil War, causing an upset win for the neo-fascists. Well, the left was opposing. Better be dead than Red. Many Greeks would, quite frankly. They want to declare bankruptcy but they're going to learn a lesson learned by some States way back when. Those whom God hath brought together, let no man tear asunder. This world doesn't handle rejection well. Greece is starting to get on the Union's (i.e. Germany's) nerves. That's - historically - a mistake, in Europe.
Philippines 1945-1953: US nixes the leftist Huks, gets to build their military bases creating sfhot Eurasian girls (so like 1/4 Spanish, 1/2 American, 1/4 pot luck Asian). Philippines gets Imelda Marcos' shoe collection and tyrant after tyrant - all supported by the Catholic Church of course, which never gets involved in politics. They just rally for God in Manila. Against? Poor people, is the technical answer. Officially, God doesn't have enemies lol. The political rallies are just to praise his name. 2 million the other day, just for God. Dumb vassals rallying against themselves.
But then, that's what - God - is all about, innit.
Albania 1949-1953: Attempt to overthrow Commies by supporting neo-fascists. Failed.
Germany 1945-1961: Meddling in East Germany, forcing the erection of the Berlin Wall in 1961. A lot of people don't realise the Wall wasn't a WWII construct.
Iran 1953: UK/US overthrow the democratically-elected PM who stupidly tried to take back control of the nation's oil from the Brits. Unlucky dumb-ass play for Iranians. The UK/US gave them the Shah, who gave the US and UK 40% each of the nation's oil by way of saying "cheers!"
Iranians haven't smiled since 1953. Pretty sure it's against the law, anyway. But I can't read the Qur'an so I'd literally have to take their word for it. With "it" being whatever interpretation they've taken from whatever verse they've decided to - interpret. I <3 religion. But vassals are pesky without a Reason for Suffering.
Guatemala 1953 onwards: Fighting the Commies, except the Commies had no interest in Guatemala. "Social democracy" is close enough to Red to be dead.
Middle East 1956-1958: Attempt to overthrow Syrian government, failed. Landed 14,000 troops in Lebanon to support their man in the ME; and to send a message to Jordanians that Jordan be their other man in the ME. Attempt to overthrow Egypt's Nasser nationalists, failed.
Indonesia 1957-1958: Sukarno was a Commie sympathiser, so the CIA supported anyone who wanted to have a crack. Some military officers with ambition said "aiight" but Sukarno said "nup". Lots of fighting, but lol @ caring about Indonesia or Indonesians. This story pretty much sums up Indonesians:
You remember the tsunami right? Killed a million or some shit. Just poor people so w/e. But it was ages ago, like 2004. In Indonesia, kids are just coming home now. lol
Cause like, kid washes up on your beach you're going to "Dear Diary: Jackpot" yourself a free kid as well. Don't lie, free child? Who wouldn't want one. Woody Allen?
Wrong.
Great story, though. Triumph of the human spirit. Indonesians are...filthy.
Quote:
Q. What do you like doing?
“I just like staying at home. Sitting.”
lolz.
Quote:
(Her father, talking about the woman who went from Islam > Cargo Cult in 5 seconds, seven years ago. One gets the feeling this poor girl can't win.)
“I want to meet her, I want to say thank-you, I don’t want to see her arrested or punished. If she loved my child and looked after her then I would never have seen my daughter again. Because she was cruel to her my child she found her way home. For that I am thankful. I don’t have any feeling of anger or need for revenge. Instead I feel grateful that she was cruel to my child so that she has come home to us.”
That pretty much sums up parents for you, right there. Blistering logic. God I love people.
Guyana 1953-1964: Turned Guyana into a shithole for dubious reasons. thirdworldtraveller.com suggests Guyana's economic model was a threat to "The Invisible Hand" - which is funny because I was literally 17 when I suggested "The Invisible Hand" was the biggest threat capitalism faced but I almost fucking failed Econ 101 on Day 1 so I pulled my moronic insightful ass into line. Felt vindicated when - surprise! - The Invisible Hand failed to regulate greed in a competitive environment. Keynes and I knew the score. lol @ Detroit but then I wonder if they hated the Commies before they became the benefactors of Socialism? Probably.
Probably still hate Commies; those Unionised vassals.
Vietnam 1950-1973: Learned something new, didn't realise Ho Chi Minh wasn't a Red through and through, who knew!
The slippery slope began with siding with ~ French, the former colonizers and collaborators with the Japanese, against Ho Chi Minh and his followers who had worked closely with the Allied war effort and admired all things American. Ho Chi Minh was, after all, some kind of Communist.
He had written numerous letters to President Truman and the State Department asking for America's help in winning Vietnamese independence from the French and finding a peaceful solution for his country. All his entreaties were ignored. Ho Chi Minh modeled the new Vietnamese declaration of independence on the American, beginning it with "All men are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with ..." But this would count for nothing in Washington. Ho Chi Minh was some kind of Communist.
Twenty-three years and more than a million dead, later, the United States withdrew its military forces from Vietnam. Most people say that the U.S. lost the war. But by destroying Vietnam to its core, and poisoning the earth and the gene pool for generations, Washington had achieved its main purpose: preventing what might have been the rise of a good development option for Asia. Ho Chi Minh was, after all, some kind of communist.
God damn Reds. Stirring up shit. You seen Blast from the Past? Top movie. I could have gotten Alicia as well; I like to think. But then my bunkered down parents weren't like Brendan Fraser's. Our bunker was more...sharing.
Cambodia 1955-1973: Overthrew the Sihanouk government in a coup, letting everyone's favourite Utopia>via>Slaughter visionary Pol Pot take over. lol @ the Cambodians, but I hear some academics took up rice-farming so quickly their students were confused. "Where's teacher?" lol. Kids are funny, sometimes. School's out, Cambodia. For Summer, or indefinitely. Whatever you like but if you come back you die so...
The US supported the Khmer Rouge rogues diplomatically and with arms, cause those pesky nerds don't just shoot themselves you know. This isn't a US high school we're talking about.
Congo / Zaire 1960-1965: Minerals. Assassinated the PM. Created Civil War, which tends to get especially Gettysburg when Africans do it. Gave Mobutu the reigns. Ouch. Unlucky, Congolese niggers.
Brazil 1961-1964: Overthrew democratic Commie-sympathiser. Installed tyranny. Brazil "didn't look back" at Cuba, became US ally instead.
Dominican Republic 1963-1966: Heavily involved in Bosch's government, did nothing to help him when military said "we could have that". When the exiled Bosch organised a peoples' revolt, US sent 23,000 troops to crush it. He must have stepped on some hawk's claws.
Cuba 1959 onwards: They got funky 50's cars in Cuba. And 'naughty' cigars. That's all. It's a fucking hole. Damn Reds.
Was a pretty cute trick how Castro emptied his prisons onto the US, but. Lebanon did something similar to Australia when the ALP needed to gerrymander a blue-collar seat which was getting confused about its working class roots, but no one talks about it. I don't complain. Lebanese-Australian girls might be the hottest girls on the planet. Even hotter than Russians. I got to kiss one once. Her b/f then came over and patted me on the back. He was pretty cool, but then he was pretty high.
I was pretty high until reality hit. Lebanese girls are - saved - for Lebanese boys; who attempt to explain their position on equality to me, in brothels. Imagining they're Scarface. I literally will never understand why people give drugs to hookers. I guess it's part of the charade.
I give drugs to hookers. But hookers love me.
Indonesia 1965: Finally machinated the end of Sukarno. Suharto coup took over. A million extra-judicial killings; 5000 of which were at the behest of the US Embassy. You wouldn't want to have been favoured by a girl or something, when the extra-judicial stuff starts. Girls love being fought over. They're all 13, more or less.
Chile 1964-1973: Overthrew Marxist Salvador Allende by supporting military coup. Unlucky for Chile. 'Lucky' for multinational corporations.
Greece 1964-1974: CIA-instigated coup 3 weeks before the reelection of the popular liberal government in 1967. PM Papandreou was something of an Obama-rhetoric sort, it would seem. Little too Red for comfort, quite frankly. Well not him so much, he was anti-Commie. But his son wanted out of NATO so...
East Timor 1975-2001 (when Australians got all teary-eyed, at what they'd done, without ever realising it - Xaxana Gusmao, poor fellow, gets the Red Carpet treatment in Australia as our man in Timor whilst trying to not make an international scene over the fact that the East Timorese only got dragged into WWII courtesy of Australian troops who plonked onto the island; and that was bad luck for the Timorese. They're still paying for it, but they got Gusmao who's gonna get his ass killed by Australian mining magnates if he doesn't be a good BOY soon re: offshore oil deposits - he's hustling, and haggling, trying to do his thing for the Timorese who 'elected' him but we all know he's our man in the face of Indonesian pricks. I learned Bahasa Indonesia basically to fuck up Indonesian pricks. Two years, 2nd best speaker in class, spoke to some Indonesians who couldn't understand a word I was saying. Turns out some academics wanting a job had taught us "textbook Bahasa" instead of the language Indonesians speak on the street. Whoops. I can still swear though.
"Apakah anda makan burung saya."
That's supposed to be something like "you wanna eat my dick?" but no Indonesians have ever responded except with confusion; i.e. not the offence I was going for.
Anyway, in 1975 the US and Australia just let Suharto run riot in East Timor, killing those stupid secessionist morans with US rifles. Australia could have told them to cool it, but we didn't want a left-leaning Cuba on our doorstep so...200,000 dead. Of 700,000 total pop. lol..!
Nicaragua 1978-1989: Reagan's "Freedom Fighters" (the Contras) burned down schools and medical clinics, raped, tortured, mined harbours, bombed and generally functioned as intended; a massive pain in the ass for the Sandinistas and their half-assed (courtesy of Freedom) attempts at economic and social reform.
Grenada 1979-1984: Invaded Grenada in 1983. Fears of "another Cuba". Pretty fucking dumb to lean left if you're near the US, morans. Of course, it's pretty fucking hard to ignite a revolution and take control without selling some form of Vassal Power ideology. What a hilarious cocktail of fuck.
Libya 1981-1989: Qaddafi had ambitions, and shit. Lion King of Africa, the vote of tyrants proclaimed. The US weren't going to put up with that shit. Lockerbie never really understood why they were dragged into it. The US killed Qaddafi's daughter, you moronic kilt-wearing vassals. Whoops?
No donuts today, lads. A quarter of a century later, NATO brought Sharia Freedom to Libya and reunited father and daughter, awwh.
Panama 1989: US bombed the shit out of Noriega, their drug vassal in Panama. A lesson for Guzman’s Sinaloa but vassal drug lords always overplay their hands. Even when they don’t.
Iraq v Iran War: Played out a ‘stalemate’ for Saddam. Even the US Navy got to get some. That was a great war, chemicals and vassal wave attacks and all sorts of rarely-used techniques to slaughter vassals. Saddam was their man, as everyone knows. Their man was a bad-ass nigger; but funnily enough, despised by Al-Qaeda with bin Laden calling Saddam "a boozing buffalo" or something likely impossibly denigrating in Sharia.
Here below is a basically the entire - point. Of war. $1 trillion losses? More like $1 trillion profits amirite? Vassal costs? lol. What nigger book-keeping techniques are you using? It’s worth a little mustard to get your game on.
Quote:
(Iran decides to invade after Iraqi invasion was successfully repelled)
Under the slogans "War, War until Victory" and "The Road to Jerusalem Goes through Karbala", Iran advanced. A tactic used in this advance noted throughout the world was the encouragement of heroism among young Iranian basij volunteers who launched human wave attacks on Iraqi positions. The volunteers were inspired before battle by tales of Ashura, the Battle of Karbala, and the supreme glory of martyrdom, and sometimes by an actor (usually a more mature soldier), playing the part of Imam Hossein himself riding a white horse, galloping along the lines, providing the inexperienced soldiers a vision of "the hero who would lead them into their fateful battle before they met their God." The martyrs signed "Passports to Paradise" as admission forms to the Basij were called, given a week of basic military training by the Pasdaran, and then were sent to the front.
Unlike the fighting in Iran, Iraqi morale improved in 1982 when the Iraqis were fighting in the defense of their nation. Saddam had also more than doubled the size of the Iraqi army from 200,000 soldiers (12 divisions and 3 independent brigades) to 500,000 (23 divisions and nine brigades).
Saddam's efforts bore fruit. Iran had been using combined-arms operations to great effect when it was attacking the Iraqi troops in its country, and had launched the iconic human-wave attacks with great support from artillery, aircraft, and tanks. However, lack of ammunition meant that the Iranians were now launching human-wave assaults with no support from other branches of the military.
The superior defenses of the Iraqis meant that tens of thousands of Iranian soldiers were lost in most operations after 1982, and the Iraqi defenses would continue to hold in most sectors. During the advance on Basra, the Basij were used to clear the Iraqi minefields with their feet in order to allow the Pasdaran to advance.
In the Basra offensive (Operation Ramadan), five human-wave attacks were met with withering fire from the Iraqis. The boy-soldiers of Iran were particularly hard-hit, especially since they volunteered to run into minefields, in order to clear the way for the Iranian soldiers behind them. The Iranians were also hard-hit by the employment of chemical weapons and mustard gas by the Iraqis.
Awesome.
Supremely glorious.
Kissinger: “It’s a pity they can’t both lose.”
Gotta love Kissinger. He knows all about ensuring that everyone loses. Who wins this things? Spam? bah.
Afghanistan 1979-current: Anyone’s who isn’t a moran will know that The Taliban was the result of US meddling in the USSR’s Cuba. The CIA lured the Soviet military machine out, then armed the mujaheddin with Stingers, and the result has been lol. Everyone loses. Who wins?
El Salvador 1980-1992: US assisted in generating Civil War. Yawn.
Haiti 1987-1994: lol @ Haiti. Everyone gets raped in Haiti. The US-backed Duvalier clan ran Haiti into the ground, before the ground gave way.
Yugoslavia 1999: Bombing for peace.
But the Cold War...
The Cold War was a trick played on the people of the US and USSR by the US and the USSR, respectively. Aside from a muttered comment in passing from the second-finest mind I’ve ever come across (a Russian Naval cadet who saved my life in 2001, at a wank-job “Youth Insight” conference at the USNA; who stated something like “It was all a jolly good show” or something to that effect), I had never heard the slightest whisper or suggestion that the USSR wasn’t legitimately battling for the globe with the US when I landed in Moscow in 2005. And if you land in Moscow you will understand what I understood, instantly.
That country was no threat to the US.
It was all a ridiculous joke played on their own populations by power-hungry military and political traitors.
The Cold War was not in the best interests of American men and Soviet women. And that’s a fact. This is not to say it was in the best interests of American women or Soviet men, of course. I’m just saying...
It’s fucking ridiculous that morons get patriotic. It’s the most self-defeating of all sentiments, with the possible exception of envy. Patriotism > Nationalism > Racism > Self-exclusion. Shooting yourself in the foot, often literally. Especially for the boy soldiers of Iran. Fucking morons.
This world is so fucking creepy, and I’m such a moron; literally until last year the thought never struck me that this entire world not being able to communicate with each other was anything other than an accident which was taking a frustratingly long time to resolve. But then I have a History major and had never heard of the Treaty of Westphalia until I bumped into it one day recently on a Wikipedia link chase.
But then my denial is a powerful thing.
Because I already knew all the world's creepy dark shit already. I learned it when a Japanese AF cadet came to blows with our host (a USNA Midshipman), and it was positively blood-curdling. Everyone was shouting nonsense and I was the only one shouting sense. We'd all been lied to. And the smartest guy in the room, was looking at me, nonsensically; bemused, or confused. Maybe surprised. My idealism is really kind of sweet. Or tragic.
But then I didn’t even realise the bombs were days apart. I wrote papers on them, fully believing they saved lives. I just buy whatever spin is being peddled to me. Much like the Japanese. And everyone, it would seem; or it did seem so, when I realised - in 2001 - that governments just exploit their own with filthy lies. And it knocked me for a loop, in ways that very nearly got embarrassing.
Thinking about that day over a decade later, I wrote a brilliant comment on Twitter and these - fuck-wits - whomever controls Niggerstop’s fake account, called me a nerd. Pretty sure this should be in like literary quote lists or something, because it’s impossibly insightful and I’ve never read it anywhere before.
“History is not written by the winners. History is written by the linguists. They lie fluently.”
But anyway, in 2001, months before 9/11 I was the happiest I’d ever been. Later I almost killed myself over the whole Japanese cadet emo thing about Nagasaki (I think he had a grandmother, who got smoked); except it wasn’t really about that, it was about the implications. I was saved in the end by a Russian Naval Cadet who hadn't said a word in a week, but whom I knew - obviously - spoke perfect English. Which was quite lucky for me. He’d have found it tricky to save my life, in Russian. We’d have just been awkwardly shrugging until he kicked along and I kicked off into the Potomac. And froze to death, or drowned. I wonder which one would get you first.
It’d be great if they could get you at the same time, like a Hollywood orgasm.
God you shouldn’t ever get irrationally high; because the crash to Reality can be a killer. Literally. I was pretty high on life at Annapolis. That poison is a killer. The hangover is...
I had found a magical place where everyone was as bright or brighter than I was. It was magnificent. I was in Maryland ostensibly representing Australia / ADFA at a conference of US-allied military academies. Everyone was there. I loved America. I loved Maryland. I loved the USNA cadets who were brilliant and charming and impossibly high achievers; it was nothing like ADFA’s ridiculous post-Grey Review world of tai chi and fat girls (who ‘passed’ military fitness tests by virtue of the fact there were no other volunteers to meet the decreed female quotas across the board). I got nothing against girls; well. I got nothing against girls wanting to die in the military. But I did then. There is something degrading about excelling in an environment where fat chicks just get a walk (or get carried, if walking is asking too much of their overloaded joints and shit), but athletes like my two best friends got simultaneously expelled for getting drunk and throwing their divisional communal fridge out of the (second story) window; for its crime of “feeding the fat bitches”. Which was pure hilarity, because fat bitches in every division filled up those fridges, exclusively. Fat bitches who would break down 100m into a 2.4km sprint, and start limping their way to the 400m mark where they would need urgent medical assistance. Fat bitches who would fail Arts subjects, handing in incoherent nonsensical essays where they’d just cut and paste paragraphs from the Required Reading lists together, incoherently. And pass, because they were both the bottom of the barrel and the cream of that barrel.
My mates were expelled for a drunken incident where they made sure no one was anywhere near the building first, then they destroyed a fridge they should have been invoiced for; and that should have been the end of the matter. Maybe some check parades or leave restrictions and an order not to repeat their joke. If they’d polled our Year, they’d have scored something like 95% laughs. Both high achievers, one got back in the Navy years later courtesy of one of my indignant soapbox speeches after I’d had enough of being cordial. I save people’s lives when I do that, actually. Maybe kill them when I don’t, even.
You’re probably in the same position.
Sometimes people just need to hear the Truth. I only tell them when I no longer give a fuck if they live or die; which is a mistake, because then I miss out on all the good stuff that happens. But it’s very hard to lay down cold Truths onto the faces of bum-hurt vassals. But this guy, I let him have it. He couldn’t get a word in, for maybe 40 min. But his life fell apart to the point where he got us thrown out of a recovery where a cute girl was going to sleep with me (after ‘clearing’ his plan with me, whilst I tried to breathe deeply and tell myself he wouldn’t, would he; he did - and what he did was grab the host’s g/f on her pert ass and intimate that he wanted to devour her by saying “I want to devour you” - at which point, we were politely and firmly directed to leave; I said “even me, but I...” and hated myself immediately. Of course even me. This is a world where innocents always suffer with their guilty associations).
Then he stole my car, forcing me to catch a cab. And when I got back to our mate’s apartment, I walk in to find him urinating on the kitchen floor, tilted at my mate’s rude refusal to afford him the cordiality of getting up and entertaining him. I think my friend had to sleep, working double shifts as his g/f was pregnant and he was frantically trying to be a father cause she was keeping it.
I don’t like urine. I’ve drunken it a few times by accident but I didn’t need to have done that to know I don’t like it. He was refusing to clean it up so I gave him some Jonny Vincent Indignation and as a result, he now flies choppers for the RAN. True story.
The other guy who got kicked out over the fridge incident (and whose kitchen was being urinated all over) was my oldest friend in the world. I was trying to drive home to see him after my g/f forgot to memo to me her realisation that there was no point in her taking us seriously. Whilst she pointedly continued to take us seriously. Us, as in her other boyfriend and I.
I thought I was losing power steering fluid doing 170 km/hr in the rain, in the middle of the night. I didn’t know what aqua-planing was. No one had ever given me a driving lesson, or even required me to show evidence that I’d ever been given one. The government gave me the right to drive motor vehicles at 240 km/hr in any weather conditions on any surface when I was 16 years old and had never been behind the wheel of a car before. 10 questions on road signs and I was given a license to kill.
I basically killed so many people, it’s really quite horrifying. None of it was my fault of course, but you try telling someone that once they’ve accidentally killed people. The Police and the judicial process sure do try their best, but then I can sometimes tell when someone’s guilty and they’ve “gotten off” - there is a haunted look about them, that isn’t half sure if they should kill themselves. This usually manifests in more killing of other people of course, but my point is the sentiment is noble enough.
I lost my power steering and my normal steering when I aqua-planed over a large puddle or small lake on the highway doing 170 km/hr at 3am. It all happened - would you believe? - so fast.
I remember looking sideways and seeing the highway continue straight and I knew I was spinning. I spun off the highway and the car straightened itself and I briefly thought I was going to live but I couldn’t find the brake or the brakes weren’t responding. I just took out little trees for 200m until a big tree said “Nup”. My car was totalled. It’s ridiculous that I didn’t realise it. I was in shock, but I walked away without a scratch and laughed. I didn’t have insurance because no one would insure me. I cursed those brilliant bastards, staring at the wreck of my beloved Silly-car in the rain, and laughed. I was a couple hundred kms from Taree. I had been making exceptionally good time.
Some gay guys picked me up when I was sitting by the side of a lonely stretch of highway, rain still pouring down. They literally would have had other ideas, until I explained and one of them cautiously and suspiciously came to the edge of the highway and saw the path of destruction leading to my Celica - with its engine still running, headlights on - wrapped (tenderly) around a tree.
I had to wait until 10am the next day for the Police, to whom I calmly explained exactly what had happened. The Police Officer tsk’d, and repeated my story to make sure he “got it right”.
Apparently, I’d committed a crime. I literally hadn’t the slightest idea, and it made zero sense to me. “Hazardous driving? This was just an accident. It could have happened to anybody”, I explained.
The cop agreed. But it was still a crime, and he didn’t want the paperwork, so would I stop trying to convict myself please? A kangaroo or a wallaby had jumped out in front of me, he wrote. I swerved to avoid the animal and unfortunately lost control in the wet conditions.
Cool cop?
I thought so, at the time. Pretty sure he couldn’t care less whether I lived or died; or what children I killed until I started doing either. I think he was just telling the truth; he didn’t want the paperwork. I needed that paperwork. I needed to be educated. Failing all else, I needed to be sanctioned. I was Death, waiting to happen. But then I was in my own little world, and I’d played F1 Grand Prix on Super Nintendo and I was very good. I drove my Celica how I drove in computerised Grands Prix. Carefully, at high speeds, at the limit; without a fucking clue that I was - effectively - worse than clueless. I thought I had a clue. Uh oh.
I continued to believe I was driving in Grands Prix months after I ran a family of four off the road, an incident which was only months away when I wrote off my car learning about aqua-planing. I learned another important driving lesson months later, when I was doing 160 km/hr in a written off motor vehicle that had been ‘restored’ and given a dodgy road-worthy by a guy who didn’t even give it a once-over, before doing me over by taking my cash and handing me the road-worthy papers. Just like the corrupt employee at Lube Mobile had promised.
Toyota said it was a write-off, but what did they know about Celicas. Lube Mobile said it was a write-off, and they were just as stupid. Clearly. But thankfully, an employee who did this for a tidy second income (if the 20 cars in his backyard didn’t belong to friends, none of whom could drive safely) called me and spammed me with his ‘miraculous’ offer; moments after I’d slammed the phone down on his boss - who was somewhat confused when he called me and asked what he was supposed to do with my written-off motor vehicle. The chassis was permanently ruined. Almost every panel except the rear needed to be replaced. The axle shaft was shot to shit. He was annoyed.
I was annoyed. Then I was ‘saved’. Back on the road. I’d beaten the dumb-ass system.
The dumb-ass system had gotten me thinking like that, about everything. My own best interests? Forgotten. The interests of those I’d kill with my ignorance? But I repeat myself.
All I was thinking for years was “beating this system of idiotic hurdles”. And the system kept beating me, and giving me back my car without a single piece of advice along the way; except, perhaps, some clues on how to beat the system more ‘easily’ next time.
I had to watch the faces of a terrified family shoot past me when something went horribly wrong and everything was confusing and nothing made sense; before I got my first clue. Time sped up, I almost didn’t make it back to my lane before a surprise head-on collision raced up at me twice as fast as it should have; forcing me to swerve and very nearly lose control of the rattling hulk that was my ‘restored’ Celica that should never have been allowed back onto the road.
The same thing could be said for her driver. And yet, I consistently was. And I wasn’t the only one, not by a long shot. It’s almost...conspiratorial, I thought. I definitely felt I was continually being setup, entrapped, sucked into idiotic traps; killing people intermittently along the way.
But I had no motive, and I was just looking for excuses, obviously. But something kept nagging away at me. I didn’t want to kill anyone. So why did I keep getting put into these positions where people are going to die, invariably? It bothered me, is all. It felt like I was being setup or taken advantage of. It just felt creepy, on some level.
I had no idea.
I was doing 160 in the desert, cutting it fine to make it to the base on time and I hadn’t seen a car for hours. I’d been falling asleep which was unforgivable and a little frightening; I had no time to spare. I was going to be late for my posting, if sleep overcame me. At no point did I consider I could be dead; merely late. I didn’t believe I was invincible, I just never thought a damn thing about car safety. There was no danger, not even after there had been clear and present danger - each incident, I just “learned my lesson” and then there was no more danger.
There was no danger earlier that afternoon when I woke up doing only 80 km/hr and laughed at how lucky I was that my car had an ‘in-built’ heavy skew to the left. I must have just driven across the desert flats for 5-10 min before waking up - the highway was a few clicks to the right, I could see the heat-waves coming off the asphalt. I laughed and steered back on route; and shuddered to see the ravine on the other side. I didn’t want to look down because I’m afraid of heights. Also, I don’t like unpleasant things. I just shuddered, cause phew. I’d hardly lost any time.
I couldn’t have told you how deep that ravine was. Not until I saw a family of four disappear off the face of the Earth.
I didn’t even nick their vehicle. I was trying to get a lit cigarette I thought was going to burn my feet, and I looked up and a car is coming straight at me because I was in the wrong lane. Obviously. I shook my head, mildly annoyed. I wasn’t remotely concerned, I had plenty of time; and I was slowly inching back to the right lane (which was on the left, obviously) when suddenly the car was on top of me and I had to swerve instinctively. I watched their faces as we shot past each other and I saw a kid driving, who had to be like 16 or 17. His father in the passenger seat. His mother, baby sister and a dog in the rear. I wasn’t laughing. Something freakish and scary had happened, and I was trying to make sense of it.
Months later, I realised - with a laugh - that I already knew about the illusion of “combined speeds”. We would have been doing 300 km/hr between us. That made a lot more sense, than the rush of chaos that occurred when I swerved just in time and was kinda freaking out and relieved and trying to make sense of what had just happened; trying to understand what had just happened staring at the ‘weird’ car in my rear-view and then I didn’t want to understand anything anymore. Maybe five seconds after I passed the other vehicle, the kid suddenly loses the plot and just swerves off the highway. It was almost comical, really. I watched the ludicrously delayed panicked swerve and the car just went over the side and vanished into the ravine. I watched it all play out in disbelief and horrified shock, mirrored in my rear-view. And then there was just silence. I was alone.
Everything was so peaceful. I was blinking at my mirrors, thinking I must be sleep-deprived or losing the plot. Did I just imagine it? I just imagined it, I thought. Have I been cat-napping again? Maybe someone or something was trying to tell me something; give me a warning? I wondered. I’ve never been very mystical. I kept staring and blinking at the mirror, trying to re-imagine what I’d just imagined.
Did I just kill a family of four? Surely not.
Why am I still driving.
“Because you didn’t do anything; relax. Christ you need some sleep.”
But I’ve needed sleep my whole life. And the first time I’ve ever hallucinated was still years away, with LSD candy-flipping. My hands were shaking and I was crying and realising that I hadn’t imagined anything. I was replaying the events in my mind, dropping the cigarette, fumbling for it with my head underneath the wheel, looking up, something going disturbingly wrong, relief...then catastrophe.
WHY ARE YOU STILL DRIVING.
I was blubbering; and sobbing. I couldn’t turn around; it wasn’t the dead bodies that frightened me, I was 100% going to kill myself - that might have been the first time I’d ever consciously realised humanity and me were linked. I had become remarkably narcissistic in this curiously and creepily structured Society. But I couldn’t turn around, I just needed to find somewhere and die. I could handle the bodies, but I wasn’t sure if that’s all there would be.
I knew I could just drive on and try to never think of it again; but I knew I’d just killed 80% of me. Somehow I just knew that I’d killed myself. Living no longer seemed like an option. But I couldn’t turn around because - what if, I mean it’d have to be a minuscule chance - but what if someone had survived the drop, and was still living? Broken, torn limbs, blood gushing. The horrors I imagined, whilst dry-retching and crying and screaming angrily.
What if the little girl had half her face burned off but was still screaming. I didn’t think I’d have the strength to do the right thing; somewhat justifiably, because I didn’t even have the strength to turn the car around.
This queer idiotic voice kept saying “you got away with it, you’re lucky - that was a lucky break, buddy” and I kept having to scream it silent, in horror and contempt; because no one ever “gets away” with that shit. I didn’t even know where that voice was coming from; but I think - I have a feeling - it was the Police. They are pretty invested in getting kids to think like that, rather than think rationally. You don’t kill people and laugh about it; you don’t kill humans and “get away with it”; not unless the link between your mind and your humanity has been cut, completely.
I tried to turn my mind to more productive things. The next city, where I’d put myself out of my misery. But I couldn’t concentrate on anything except the sheer agony of not knowing. Not knowing if someone was suffering unfathomable pain during the entire afternoon of my cowardice. And this eventually shocked me into sanity. And I swung the car around, telling myself to get real; and stop hyperventilating. No one would have survived. I had nothing to be terrified about except the fact that I’d fucked up, in a way that changed everything but wouldn’t matter tomorrow.
I got a rush of relief when I remembered how silent it was after they went over. The car must have been falling for awhile, I thought; or I’d have heard the impact. Thank christ. They’d have died instantly.
I counted the kms on the way back; certain I’d driven past it somehow. Then I saw the single tyre marks and I shuddered at what investigators would have concluded had I just kept driving forever. A kangaroo, perhaps. Or a wallaby. Family of four’s holiday ends in tragedy.
They’d know, of course. They’d probably even have leads. But who would want the paperwork.
I pulled up slowly and calmly; steeling myself for the scene I knew would be waiting for me. I was relieved. There was only silence, and no screams.
I’d been driving for 24 kms when I turned around for the 24 km journey back. I did the right thing. I've always been proud of that, at least.
But that’s not a very good reason, to do the right thing.
It’s funny how they get kids all confused about that.
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Roads and Traffic Authority
Road Safety & Traffic Management
RESEARCH REPORT RR 5/96
Speed Control Devices for Cars
by Michael Paine
July 1996
PREFACE
This report was commissioned by the Vehicle and Equipment Safety Section, Road Safety and Traffic Management Directorate, Roads and Traffic Authority of New South Wales, Australia.
Executive Summary
New South Wales has developed a "Speed Management Program and Action Plan" to address the serious problem of speeding related crashes. Vehicle design requirements and standards form part of the plan. This report describes the results of an investigation of speed limiters for cars, together with other devices which offer an opportunity for controlling vehicle speeds.
There is relatively little research being conducted into the potential for speed control using vehicle technology. This technology is reaching the level of sophistication where speed control features are already built in or can be readily incorporated in the engine management systems typical of modern vehicles. Currently these systems are set at unrealistically high speeds (around 200 km/h). There is an opportunity to reduce the number and severity of speeding related crashes through the application of this technology, both by preventing vehicles from travelling at excessive speeds and by modifying the behaviour of drivers.
The key findings of the investigations are:
Technology
It is recommended that the 10% tolerance for speedometers provided under ADR 18 be reviewed. A 2% tolerance on underestimating speed would be appropriate based on the available technology and industry practices and this should not involve extra manufacturing costs.
Speed limiter technology which has been developed for heavy vehicles can be readily applied to cars and other light vehicles. Many new cars have electronic engine management systems and it is understood that these can be modified, at a very low cost per vehicle, to provide an effective top speed limiter.
None of the cruise control systems surveyed had a top speed limiter function but the cost of such a feature should be minimal.
Reference to statutory speed limits is noticeably absent from Intelligent Transportation System (ITS) strategies. There are now available several relatively cheap methods of transmitting speed limit information to vehicles - estimated statewide installation cost $10 million. Vehicles could then be fitted with automatic speed limiters which prevent the vehicle from being driven in excess of the posted speed limit or speed alarms which sound a warning if the posted speed limit is exceeded.
Vehicle monitoring devices (VMD), such as tachographs are an alternative to speed limiters for recidivist drivers and they are less vulnerable to tampering. In-vehicle crash recorders might also help to modify speed behaviour.
If a new safety feature is introduced by way of new vehicles (e.g. through ADRs) then it can take six years after implementation for the feature to account for 50% of annual vehicle kilometres travelled. In addition to this time, it can take several years for an ADR to be implemented. In assessing speed control strategies, consideration should therefore be given to measures which also affect existing vehicles.
Strong objections to speed limiters can be expected from some motorists and manufacturers, irrespective of the potential road safety and environmental benefits of such devices.
Speed and crashes
NSW police-reported crash data indicates that, during 1994, speed was involved in 21% of fatal crashes, 12% of serious injury crashes and 7% of other crashes. More detailed studies suggest that speed is involved in approximately double those indicated by the police-reported crash data and therefore an analysis based on that data should be conservative.
Overseas research indicates th at substantial crash savings can be achieved through small reductions in mean traffic speeds. It is estimated that a 3% reduction in mean traffic speeds would save 71 fatal, 342 serious injury, 1191 other injury and 2335 non-casualty crashes per year in NSW.
Speed limits and safe speeds The driving task of judging a vehicle's speed is becoming more difficult with the trend to quieter, smoother vehicles. Some roadways are known to be over-designed and can induce unsafe traffic speeds. Motorists often do not appreciate the distance they travel between the point when a hazard first became visible (but not necessarily seen) and the point where their foot hits the brake pedal. In summary, motorists cannot be expected to make correct judgements about appropriate travel speeds for the conditions.
Objectively set speed limits fulfil the purpose of setting an upper limit but there needs to be an improvement in th e credibility of speed limits. Automatic speed limiters in vehicles would enhance the credibility of speed limits.
It is likely that exceeding a 60km/h speed limit by 15 km/h would carry with it a far greater risk of serious injury (particularly to vulnerable road users) than exceeding a 100 km/h speed limit by 15 km/h . Automatic speed limiters would be an effective countermeasure in lower speed limit zones.
The trend to a variety of speed limits along a transport route places a greater burden on drivers to pay attention to changing speed zones. An automatic speed limiter would assist motorists to drive within the speed limit at all times and widespread use of automatic speed limiters would allow greater flexibility in setting speed limits.
Effects of speed limiters The introduction of speed limiters for heavy vehicles in Australia has been generally successful. Anecdotal reports of tampering suggest a need for improved enforcement and higher penalties. It is recommended that repeat offenders be required to fit vehicle monitoring devices and that the ADR be reviewed to determine if a simple means of checking speed limiters can be incorporated in the design.
In regard to overtaking, the main effect of a speed limiter is that "the driver of a high performance vehicle would no longer perform certain manoeuvres which he now regards as safe". The time taken to overtake a vehicle can be substantially reduced by travelling at excessive speeds but only at a much greater risk of a severe crash.
To overcome the tenuous argument that speed limiters make overtaking less safe, alternative approaches could be considered such as making the vehicle less comfortable to drive at excessive speeds for long periods (e.g. a device which increases the force required to depress the accelerator pedal).
SPEED CONTROL DEVICES FOR CARS
Small savings in fuel consumption, tyres and brake maintenance should result from the use of speed limiters. Th e estimated overall saving is $42 per vehicle per year for measures which reduce mean traffic speeds by 3%. Small reductions in emissions and noise should also occur.
Overall travel times and network efficiency should not be adversely affected by speed limiting and other measures which result in a 3% reduction in mean traffic speeds.
There might be advantages due to a reduction in accidents.
It is estimated that 10% of rural speed-related crash es could be prevented by speed limiting all cars to 120km/h. In 1994 there were at least 86 fatal, 440 serious injury and 813 other injury crashes in rural areas which were speed related.
It is estimated that 50% of all speed-related crashes could be prevented by use of automatic speed limiters in all cars, so that the posted speed limit cannot be exceeded.
In 1994 there were at least 135 fatal, 718 serious injury and 1439 other injury crashes which were speed related. The savings would be due to the effects on mean traffic speeds as well as elimination of crashes involving excessive speeding.
Recommended scenarios
Based on the assumptions set out in this report, the scenarios showing the most promise are, in order of merit (benefit cost ratio in brackets):
All new vehicles fitted with a top speed limiter set at 120km/h at a cost of 50 cents per vehicle (90:1)
All new vehicles require a speedometer scale no more than 120km/h at a cost of $1 per vehicle (23:1)
Deviant motorists (worse 3%) required to only drive speed limited or, preferably, VMD equipped vehicles (1.5:1 if the $1000 cost of retro-fitting fitting device is included, although this is more of a penalty for the driver than a cost to the community)
Roadways are fitted with simple speed limit transmitters (eg coded magnetic strips or nails) at a statewide cost of about $10 million and about 20% of vehicles are voluntarily equipped with sensors and speed control devices or alarms at a cost of $300 per vehicle (0.9:1 - the incentive in this case is avoiding speeding penalties. If only the roadway components are costed the ratio is 13:1)
Roadways are fitted with speed limit transmitters and new vehicles plus 20% of existing vehicles are fitted with automatic speed limiters (0.6:1)
It is recommended that consideration be given to an ADR which requires cars to be speed limited to 120km/h.
It is recommended that ADR 18 be revised to require a maximum speedometer reading of 120km/h and, in the case of analogue displays, that the pointer be vertical at 60km/h.
It is recommended that further research be undertaken into the feasibility of roadway speed limit transmitters and in-vehicle devices to receive these signals and into driver attitudes to automatic speed limiters.
lol I ran a family of 4 off the highway in 2002, off into a ravine lol
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