Didn't get around to this before the year ended, but apparently Rob Kardashian has diabetes now. Gosh, who could have seen this coming? Oh yeah, everyone. From People:
"Even after his medical scare, Rob acts like he wants nothing to do with the world," the source said. "He doesn't respond to texts from people that are genuinely concerned and checking up on him."
Days after Christmas, the reality star was rushed to the hospital for stomach problems, with some reports citing his diagnosis as diabetes. Over the past two years, Kardashian, 28, has lived a life of seclusion, staying out of the public eye as he battled depression and gained over 100 lbs.
Hmmm, I don't know why Rob is depressed. Everyone in his family is so supportive. For example, here's what Rob's sister Kim had to say about the tattoo on his arm of ex-girlfriend Rita Ora on last Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians:
"He covered it with a life-sized Barbie doll of RIta that has now turned into a Cabbage Patch Doll," Kim laughed. "Have you seen it lately? It was like a Barbie doll and he's gained weight and it's now like a huge Cabbage Patch Kid. Huge!"
I think I figured it out. I figured out how Rob can lose a ton of weight and make a bunch of money so Kris stops picking on him. He can be the new Jared from Subway! It's perfect! Everyone hates the Kardashians, but even Rob would be loved if the guy who had the job before him was a child molester. Dammit, this is fucking brilliant. I want a referral fee. Or at least a free cold cut combo.
No, Rob! Your sweatshirt is not food!
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