SONATINE GET IN HERE AND DEAL WITH THE REALNESS

[Statutory Ape]

I AM SPRINKLING REALNESS ALL OVER THE MOTHERFUCKING PLACE RIGHT NOW

WHAT'S THIS? 8PM AND MIKE IS ON THE INTERNET>??

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???

I REFUSED TO CAVE TO THE PRESSURE THAT'S HOW

YOU SAID RECENTLY "OH LOOK, MIKE GIVING UP ON SOMETHING AGAIN, INSTEAD OF BECOMING GOOD AT IT THROUGH HARD WORK!"

YEAH, AND I JUST REDEFINED DETERMINATION AND GIVING NO FUCKS TO THE HATERS

WITH ALMOST NO SKILLS AND A SHITLOAD OF STRESS AND 100% OF PERSONS I TALKED TO TOLD ME "GIVE UP MIKE, THAT'S A WORTHLESS LAPTOP, YOU CAN'T FIX IT. SO GIVE UP!!"

HAD I LISTENED, I WOULD STILL BE 408MIKE

I AM THAT MAN NO LONGER

AND I NOW KNOW HOW TO FUCKING WELL TROUBLESHOOT A SHITTY LAPTOP INCH BY EXCRUCIATING INCH

6 CALLS TO HP I MADE, ON THE 6TH I FINALLY GOT DUDE ON THE LINE WHO SAID "YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A POINT- OLD MACHINE, BUT HARDLY ANY USE- THIS DESERVES SOME SERVICE" AND HE POINTED ME TO WHAT I NEEDED-A BAD CONNECTION BETWEEN MY AC ADAPTER AND MOTHERBOARD- FIXED THAT SHIT, REALNESS IS SPRINKLING

ALL

OVER

YOUR

GOOK

NOSE

AND I PROCLAIM 408MIKE DEAD IN SPIRIT. MEMORIES BE FREE TO ROAM AS THEY WISH, I WILL NO LONGER RESPOND TO THAT NAME.

OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO SEE WINDOWS VISTA IN MY LIF

IT'S....SO BEAUTIFUL....AND HORRIBLE AT THE SAME TIME

FREEZING MY HARD DRIVE, SWAPPING STICKS OF RAM WITH MY MOMS MACHINE, PRETENDING I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A CMOS IS, GOD I HAVE STORIES YOU WOULD NOT- OH YEAH, YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS STUPID SHIT.

I SOLVED THIS STUPID SHIT. IT TOOK ME THREE DAYS JUST ABOUT, AND AN INSANE AMOUNT OF SHUT THE FUCK UP ON THE PHONE WITH HP, BUT

-IT'S GOOD TO BE THE KING-

[Statutory Ape]

I AM LITERALLY THIS MAN'S WORST NIGHTMARE RIGHT NOW

SO SAYS MY SWOLLEN BALLS

[Bobby Wong]

ape that laptop is worth $100 or less. unless it has sentimental value because it saved your dad's life in nam, you've got to be an idiot even to waste an entire evening on it. you could have walked the 4.6 miles to labor ready, worked for those three days, and earned enough to purchase a new laptop. without traumatizing and taking advantage of your elderly neighbors.

[Statutory Ape]

Elderly neighbors love me more than your power tools love you (I said it WHAT)

I don't have 1 dollar for a new machine (remember my candidacy for Skatz #1 Vagrant? This was my best hope for anything but public sigh-brary in a long time)

This represented the first payment I received doing freelance IT work

Labor-ready is dead, I've tried many times. It's not an option.

My cat just stalked and killed a box just now, it was awesome- tail tense and flipping this way and that, came up on the box's blindside, upwind mind you, and, when teh moment was right-SHE JUMPED IN THAT MOTHER FUCKER

and fell right to sleep.

pets are so great.

wouldn't you agree Tine?

[Hillbilly Jim]

get real ivan koloff would rape you before you even knew what happened

[anatine]

pretty sure the laptop got infected by your fuel injection

[Statutory Ape]

She's purring away folks, damn it feels good TO BE A GANGSTA