Originally Posted by
Apes of Wrath
See, in the episode of Friends I referenced this guy named Fun Bobby who is the life of the party and everyone loves being around him, he's super funny and clever and what have you.
But you are none of those things when you're drunk.
Then people start noticing how much damned booze he goes through, and it kind of turns out that, without alcohol, he's not fun anymore.
So when he's sober, he becomes you.
My inference was just that I have a deeply rooted insecurity that drugs make me smarter, funnier, quicker mentally etc etc.
But they don't. You just imagine that they did the same way I imagined I could write; when the truth was I am and always have been too lazy to produce writing. And writing is a production, in every way. I just type fast and think brilliantly. But that's not writing.
Basically, if I gave up drugs and drinking, I wouldn't be all the things i just mentioned anymore. I'd be boring, and slow, and not funny.
You'd be less effective at producing what you produce. This is a good thing. I am comfortable with signing off on it. Humanity will survive the loss.
That's about it. So I gave my addiction a face and name I found fitting, Robert (the long name for Bobby) and when I REALLY decided to sober up, I killed him.
No you didn't. You superimposed a narcissistic delusion onto yourself. Now you've killed one of your narcissistic delusions, in a spray of narcissistic insanity. But then the thing about Christian junkies which makes them more comical than run-of-the-mill junkies; is that they imagine talking about what they're going to do is half the battle.
I don't care if you agree with my methods
Mike you - insanely - care about everything. You petulantly scream your "not caring" when you are ordered to cease and desist your insanity which has gotten too Christian to be tolerated.
How many times have you claimed not to care about an opinion of a person, Mike?
That number would be so close to the amount of - critical - opinions that you've received, lifetime.
How many times have you fallen over yourself trying to impress someone who whispered sweet rhetoric in your direction?
That number would be so artificially inflated by sneering you failed to detect, it should horrify you.
the whole thing was intended to be slightly funny
No the whole thing was intended to be another vehicle from which you could talk about yourself, and generate some - in your delusional mind - desired emotional butt-plugs. You're full of shit Mike. You don't deliver. You just talk about it. Then you talk about how you failed to deliver and what you learned. Before you talk about how you're going to deliver this time!
Mike shut the fuck up. Just deliver. Then don't tell anyone. Because who are you doing everything in your insane life for?
whilst also basically saying (to anyone that figured it out) that I was really truly going to try and sober up. And I've done very well since, a couple minor slip ups, but I'll take what I've got and be happy about it.
I don't think anyone gives a fuck Mike. Because we're not sobering up. This isn't a AA emotional swap meet. Just do whatever insane shit you're going to do, or whatever sane shit. And then don't tell anyone except yourself about it. It's only relevant to you.
RIP, Mike's addiction, I could have called it, but that sounds stupid and isn't clever at all.
Mike the topic isn't exactly compelling. You only imagine it should be because your entire universe is exclusively you. You're interested in you. Why wouldn't others be interested in you. You should update us, because we would all be sitting there thinking "I wonder how old Mike is going with his feint at sobriety."
Mike no one cares. Why would they? Most of us don't even care about ourselves.
It was and is my addiction, my choice to sober up, and I did things my way, and largely with your help, for whatever that's worth.
It's not worth anything and not just because you haven't done anything yet. You've just talked about doing it. Don't try to solicit my support in your emotional endeavour. I don't give a fuck whether you take drugs or not. I don't believe you want to become sane, but then I do things for a great many reasons I don't feel the need to outline to others because they have no interest in Humanitarian Concerns. I will do what I will do and others can try and make sense of the Sense which has historically been more sensible than anything they can muster.
If you sobered up, which you will not do because you have done nothing to address the reasons you abuse yourself (which I have outlined for you, in ways a child could acknowledge), I will get zero emotional activity on my radar Mike because you are failing at trying not to cut yourself. And this is not exactly an achievement, were you to SUCCEED. Bravo? You can postphone the next 'attempted' suicide / hasty phone call to caring friend who always manages to talk you down. You guys are heroes, the way you keep each other alive for unspecified reasons.
But of course you're not really going to quit, and do you know how I know? You want to talk about how you're going to do something which isn't an achievement, it's the Neutral cutoff point for NOT killing yourself. If you fail, you're below 0. Get 6 inches lower.
Or make a case for why I'm being 'mean'. What have you learned from all your failure to learn anything; that could benefit others if shared? Where are the achievements of the decades of your existence?
I'm not talking about demented insanity. I'm talking about things you can be chuffed about. Tell us about the times you put one in against the run for Team Decency, rather than wallow in the times you smashed own goals in your exuberance to get involved.
You destroy Humanity's defensive line. People just like you are killing our species. Do unto others your fail. Mike, can you do mathematics? This equation seems simple to me. GET OFF THE FUCKING FIELD.