Between destitute hopeless poverty (a good night meant a can of chicken soup ONLY 4 years expired. no bulges in the can, no leaking fluid, shit went down so fast I hardly noticed Mt Salmonella looming in the distance. Upon closer inspection, the ghastly silhouettes of blue green and indigo fungii sunbathing at the WHAT SUN YOU SAY? WHY, THE SUSTAINED METHANE GAS EXPLOSION CURRENTLY HEATING THE CORE OF THE CAN WELL ABOVE SCALDING HOT TEMPERATURES, OF COURSE.
Never heard of self heating Campbells soups before? DOn't worry cuz I haven't either. The game changer is all a matter of perspective- if y9u consider eating a viable fungal colony (careful to put out the mini-sun, shit burns for DAYS if you forget) dangerous or scary you're in the wrong line of work.
However, if taking risks sounds exciting JUST TO SEE WHAT IT TAKES TO ACTUALLY KILL YOU then, well goes without saying- you are cut out to be a real bonafide Skatz Man.
Interested in testing your mettle and demonstrating your mental might on the internet for less than penny's EVERY SINGLE POST YOU MAKE?
Think you have what it takes to survive the "Scooter Challenge"?
If so, I believe in you too and there is only one logical conclusion- REPORT TO THE BATTLEFIELD AND BRING YOUR TRUEST TRUTH YOU
(Directions to Battlefield)-->Please head on over to
http://www.Skatzpoker.com and register an account immed and proceed to **IMMEDIATELY** wait for blake to approve your account. '
After checking infrequently for this crucial step (a process seemingly never ending ((skatz stock on fire right now)), trajectory aimed squarely through the shanty roof REAL TALK) and once your shiny new account is finally confirmed you have exactly two choices:
A:Locate Scuter aka SkyNigger aka Scooter aka the only dude 408mike has ever actually found attractive (no homo) and inform him via PM (it's the polite thing to do, good idea to get started on the right foot you know) that you have a month to accomplish the following- free scooter from "street poison." He also needs some toughening up, thus your role is to point out each and every single one of his physical mental and emotional flaws, ONE BY ONE (don't let him get dodgey on you) and be warned he is hihgly manipulative. You may find he becomes hostile aggressive and flat out rude- THIS IS YOUR TEST, YOU NEED TO GET THAT CHIN DOWN CINCH THE RAISINS HIGHER FOR ALL YOU GOT AND PRAY KIDS. Once you break those walls down time to get to getting rid of his self medication problem. We can expect him to be less than agreeable at this point, but united we stand ya'll so no matter what, do not ever give up! It's only a matter of time until Scooter cracks and admits his flaws and short comings. BE PERSISTENT AND NEVER TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER, YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS WILL WORK OR IT PROBABLY WON'T
B: You must convert SkyNigger to Christianity and it goes without saying, your eternal salvation rests on this mission. You fuck up and one of God's masterpieces walks away from the church forever, don't bother day dreaming about anything other than peeling onions for all eternity.
Scooters soul as well as yours on the chopping block, shit's getting real out here folks.
DOES SKYNIGGER'S SOUL NOT DESERVE TO REST IN PEACE UP NEXT TO BABY JESUS FOR ALL ETERNITY?
I THINK SO
DO YOU?
Scuter, 408 is now trying to recruit people to deprogram you from donkdown ??
Linear Mode
